A day trader had a cochlear implant inserted and

(for the first time) he was able to hear what went

on at a seminar on 'Impediments To Success'.

The first speaker got up and said:

"My biggest problem is procrastination.

"I keep putting off decisions and then to

resolve the tension I act impulsively

and make mistakes I regret."

As often happens at share seminars, the

next speaker took his cue from the

previous speaker saying:

"I'm also worried about procrastination..."

And so it went for several more speakers.

The day trader could not contain himself

as he strode towards the microphone:

"I'm so glad I came to this seminar.

"I've never seen such honesty and

tolerance - and I have to confess

that I'm also very worried about

my masturbation."