Typical First Date With Lots Of Left-over Food

[brahmburgers]

You make a date, and take a Thai lady to a nice restaurant, or it can happen with a Thai group or family.

She winds up doing the ordering, though you might get a word in edgewise on what you want.

Many many dishes arrive, even if it's just you two lovebirds sitting alone.

You eat your one dish, and she keeps pointing at all the others with her lovely smile and saying, "don't you want to try?" or "you ever tried this?"

You soon realize your date is eating very little, and she expects you to eat the lion's share of what remains - or else leave it.

She doesn't much care whether there is a lot left-overs, because that's a sign of affluence. And it's low-class to request 'doggie bags' to take stuff home. Chances are, you don't want to take left-overs home anyway because the dishes are so hyper-spicy and MSG laden. Everything has meat and is overcooked, and it's hard to decipher what's in each dish.

You wind up paying, but not complaining because you don't want to appear like a cheapskate - and also because you want her to stay content because there may be some sensual desserts for later. You also don't scrutinize the bill for overcharging because that might cause discomfort and you've been in Thailand long enough to know that the worst thing you can do is to insinuate something that would cause a Thai to lose face. Indeed, more people get murdered here in response to 'losing face' issues - than over physical harm or lawsuits or destruction of property, or whatever things are more more tangible.

[legag]

I have seen it over and over and am so sick of it. I have been to places/countries where they don't have anything to eat and look for some in the trash just to survive day by day while we are here able to enjoy the art of food not knowning their left-over could have fed the whole village.

(sigh)

Me. I make sure whatever I order I finish it.

Edited September 29, 2007 by legag

[brahmburgers]

I have respect for teenage girls.

I guess I should be manly and put up with a girlfriend ordering 14 dishes that she expects me to eat.

Go for it Rambo, but don't forget to take along your heartburn pills.

[solo siam]

He does have a bit of a point, I mean you must have realised she was ordering too much.

[britmaveric]

Well thai food is cheap, so bin doesnt come to much even if there is heaps of leftovers.

[Sarge]

mmmhhh, that's a little bit harsh. He did say taking a girl on 1st date and most men would bend backward to please her in order to reap benefits later. I like take charge of things at all stages (also because Thai girls respect that) but I can see where the OP is coming from. If this scenario repeats itself after subsequent meetings then your comment is fair and square but not at the 1st date.

[Jockstar]

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[PeaceBlondie]

As somebody else said, you have to go along with most of this nuisance on a first date, to impress the other person, including paying for everything, not making a fuss over the check-bin, keeping things happy.

Starting on second date, though, I would say, "I just eat kaow phat gai. You eat everything else, all of it, or do not order it."

I tried not to have many first dates. One way to solve that girlie thing is to date people who already have thier own set of balls. Also, train them well: pizza, lasagna, hamburgers, pork chops at Sizzler, etc.

[brahmburgers]

During those 'first dates', it's not uncommon to have the girlfriend ramble on directly with the waiter. Unless the farang is fluent in Thai AND chooses to interfere in the conversation, he (the farang) is delegated to just sitting there with a polite grin and assuming all's well. Heck, she could be talking with the waiter about friends in common for all you know.

This scenario, of over-ordering and having most of the food wasted, is also common when one goes out with Thai friends (not necessarily romantic interests) and friends/family of your girlfriend/wife. Then the steaks (pun intended) are larger. However, in the scenario of friends or extended family, it's possible the pu yai (head of the visiting delegation) will offer to cover the bill.

[bdenner]

Doesn't only apply to 1st dates. Been married to TW for near to 7 years now and when I have though the last dish has arrived another turns up. Not to the excess the OP describes but definitly happens. At least she uses 'doggy bags' and the excess does finish up on the family table. I don't put it down to trying to impress rather than just letting the extended family sample some of the treats she and her daughter have just been eating.

[UnknownPoster]

Maybe she was just trying to clean out your wallet, colluding with the waiter for a kickback?

[Jingthing]

The Thai gay boys do this too on the first date ... and also hardly eat anything or even order something else you didn't know about for themselves and eat only that, expecting you to eat all of the six other dishes. Same rules of shutting your mouth apply. I really don't like it because I love Thai food so I eat too much, and just want to go to sleep.

Edited September 30, 2007 by Jingthing

[Cobalt60]

Three of us working for a company Nakhom Pathom....they decided on the third day that us going out for Pizza was mai dee. They decided to lay on lunch...I have not seen so much food for ages...bloody great big fish, rice dishes, fruit, pad thai, everything you can imagine, filled the office.

Then comes the embarrased because we can not make a decent impession on it, so will they think we are rude questions, so you try to stuff more down.

Then the moral questions of waste and hungry people etc....

It must be a way of showing a good host and not being mean, but yes it does make things difficult.

As for not complaining when the women do it....ha ha...I moan

Edited September 30, 2007 by Cobalt60

[roietjimmy]

I'm sure she had no intent to run up the bill. If she wanted your money, she would have ordered a bowl of noodles and asked you for the cash later.

In Thailand it is customary to allow the senior member or honored guest of a dinner party to eat first and to make sure they are full before others hog all the food. Maybe this is why she was just picking at her food while you were eating. The over ordering of food seems to be prevalent in the country. Maybe has a lot to do with the abundance and cost of food. Compared to some of the portions I have seen in the "west", ten Thai dishes are but a drop in the bucket compared to the monstrous sizes in the US. On the first date, doggie bags may not be in fashion but after a few dates I'm sure doggie bags will be asked for. No bags though, just those ubiquitous styrofoam boxes which end up in the canal.

Edited September 30, 2007 by roietjimmy

[britmaveric]

This scenario, of over-ordering and having most of the food wasted

Not wasted, for buddha!!!

[mikethevigoman]

As somebody else said, you have to go along with most of this nuisance on a first date, to impress the other person, including paying for everything, not making a fuss over the check-bin, keeping things happy.

Starting on second date, though, I would say, "I just eat kaow phat gai. You eat everything else, all of it, or do not order it."

I tried not to have many first dates. One way to solve that girlie thing is to date people who already have thier own set of balls. Also, train them well: pizza, lasagna, hamburgers, pork chops at Sizzler, etc.

When you say their own set of balls are you refering to katoeys ,,on a serious note i invited a girl form chiang mai out to dinner and she asked if SOME of her family could come, i said yes of course,. 16 PEOPLE IN 2 MINIBUSES !,cost me 10000baht ,i wasnt drinking alcohol they were swigging whisky, it was our last date !

[PeaceBlondie]

mike, I only mentioned the balls because the macho men had already been saying such stuff.

Then there was the 5th or 9th date, and he says let's go get pizza. Just two people, and I choose Pizza Company because they have real Italian sausage, or close enough. He orders some concoction that contains Oscar Meyer hot dog, half cooked onions, and 2 or 3 Thai veggies that the Italians never heard of. We get the 399 baht combo, and leave much of it behind because he's "Im lao." Or as they say it up north, "Ko-tung!"

[mikethevigoman]

mike, I only mentioned the balls because the macho men had already been saying such stuff.

Then there was the 5th or 9th date, and he says let's go get pizza. Just two people, and I choose Pizza Company because they have real Italian sausage, or close enough. He orders some concoction that contains Oscar Meyer hot dog, half cooked onions, and 2 or 3 Thai veggies that the Italians never heard of. We get the 399 baht combo, and leave much of it behind because he's "Im lao." Or as they say it up north, "Ko-tung!"

Iwas only having some fun, i get your drift, and im with you !

[realthaideal]

You know, I don't care what the other's concerns are, because I'm gonna be me at the date and in the relationship if that happens, be it for a night or a year.

So as to ordering and eating, if the girl ain't an eater, she's not for me. Food is a sensual pleasure of life. If you don't get food, what other sensual delights do you not get ?

I've got no problem eating 75% of the food. I'm a guy and I'm bigger.

MSG and overcooked,..... the Brahmburgers conspiracy. I actually can appreciate their foods that a Westerner would call overcooked, bu that have a different sense about themselves due to being more crispy or chewy because they are not served moist and soft like Falang food - chicken for example.

And then inspecting the bill and being sure the price is right? You better believe it. I'm not gonna over pay or pay for something I didn't get. You would, really ? So the girl will no you spend $$ like water ? Seems a bad precedent to set. Not to mention blowing cash for what ? If I find me a good ki niaw girl who only believes in spending money on travel or something special where value is received that's awesome. But one who wants me to waste it thoughtlessly without any value in return, bad girl for me.

Being real, get the real girl that's right for me.

Being fake, maybe a quick roll in the hay, but waste of money and time. And internal loss of face.

[realthaideal]

"I tried not to have many first dates. One way to solve that girlie thing is to date people who already have thier own set of balls. Also, train them well: pizza, lasagna, hamburgers, pork chops at Sizzler, etc.When you say their own set of balls are you refering to katoeys ,,on a serious note i invited a girl form chiang mai out to dinner and she asked if SOME of her family could come, i said yes of course,. 16 PEOPLE IN 2 MINIBUSES !,cost me 10000baht ,I wasn't drinking alcohol they were swigging whisky, it was our last date !

Dude! Now that's a story. Please tell me you have written it down somewhere ? If not in TV blogs, then elsewhere. Do you know CM has a writing club (PM me if interested)? THat would be worth putting some work into putting on paper - or monitor...'the date from hel_l.' And where could you have eaten that would accommodate 2 minivans ? Want to hear more....

[mikethevigoman]

"I tried not to have many first dates. One way to solve that girlie thing is to date people who already have thier own set of balls. Also, train them well: pizza, lasagna, hamburgers, pork chops at Sizzler, etc.

When you say their own set of balls are you refering to katoeys ,,on a serious note i invited a girl form chiang mai out to dinner and she asked if SOME of her family could come, i said yes of course,. 16 PEOPLE IN 2 MINIBUSES !,cost me 10000baht ,I wasn't drinking alcohol they were swigging whisky, it was our last date !

Dude! Now that's a story. Please tell me you have written it down somewhere ? If not in TV blogs, then elsewhere. Do you know CM has a writing club (PM me if interested)? THat would be worth putting some work into putting on paper - or monitor...'the date from hel_l.' And where could you have eaten that would accommodate 2 minivans ? Want to hear more.]

Its a virgin story that i have been too embarrased to tell previously !..the venue was an awful thai karaoke open mosquito ridden bar/restaurant,.it actually got worse as when we arrived they had friends there and they were invited ( not by me ) to join us, ..the story gets better wanna hear it ? ok i went back to the hotel with her,i told her to go home and get some clothes as we would go somewhere for a few days, so off she goes, i quickly wrote a letter and handed it to reception to give to her on her return and i got in a taxi and zoomed off to the airport ! ,.the contents of the letter were along the lines of, sorry but i dont think it would work as i already have 10 in my family and the extra 20 would surely have me in the bankrupcy court before you could say "get me back to the nana asap !" at least i know where i am there.

[brahmburgers]

MSG and overcooked,..... the Brahmburgers conspiracy.

If I find me a good ki niaw girl who only believes in spending money on travel or something special where value is received that's awesome. But one who wants me to waste it thoughtlessly without any value in return, bad girl for me.

Being real, get the real girl that's right for me.

Being fake, maybe a quick roll in the hay, but waste of money and time. And internal loss of face.

Wow, do I get a conspiracty theory named after me! That's a first.

Getting a good girlfriend is endlessly challenging. As parents, we might interview a prospective babysitter for our kids - maybe even ask around for some references from other parents. In the girlfriend dept., guys are like hounds chasing birds in a field. Perhaps Realthaideal has a checklist and requires a resume with references before he begins to date a lady(?)

anyhow, back on topic, like the guy who had two minivans of uninvited guests show up - and it all got charged to his account. That sort of thing (on a slightly lesser scale) has happened to me often in Thailand - however there was a similar scale party in Philippines during my first time to Asia in early 80's. I got a girl to agree to go to the beach with me for lunch. She asked if she could bring a couple grilfriends. I said yes. Lo and behold there was the maxi-sized jeepney with extended family of close to 20 people showed up. It was a long trip to and from the beach, and the jeepney driver wanted twice his original quote. guess who splurged on restaurant fare. That was my 'Welcome to Asia' moment.

[percy2]

You eat your one dish

I think here lies the problem.

Cheers

[Gary A]

My wife is a great cook so we seldom go out to eat. Low class or not, when we do go to a restaurant and we can't eat it all, she DOES order a doggy bag. Waste not, want not or something like that.

[mauiguy90]

You make a date, and take a Thai lady to a nice restaurant, or it can happen with a Thai group or family.

She winds up doing the ordering, though you might get a word in edgewise on what you want.

Many many dishes arrive, even if it's just you two lovebirds sitting alone.

You eat your one dish, and she keeps pointing at all the others with her lovely smile and saying, "don't you want to try?" or "you ever tried this?"

You soon realize your date is eating very little, and she expects you to eat the lion's share of what remains - or else leave it.

She doesn't much care whether there is a lot left-overs, because that's a sign of affluence. And it's low-class to request 'doggie bags' to take stuff home. Chances are, you don't want to take left-overs home anyway because the dishes are so hyper-spicy and MSG laden. Everything has meat and is overcooked, and it's hard to decipher what's in each dish.

You wind up paying, but not complaining because you don't want to appear like a cheapskate - and also because you want her to stay content because there may be some sensual desserts for later. You also don't scrutinize the bill for overcharging because that might cause discomfort and you've been in Thailand long enough to know that the worst thing you can do is to insinuate something that would cause a Thai to lose face. Indeed, more people get murdered here in response to 'losing face' issues - than over physical harm or lawsuits or destruction of property, or whatever things are more more tangible.

Geez, this is a familiar story...have been there before. On more than one occasion, made a date that ordered too much eat most of it, by reminding her was responsible for eating everything she ordered. Do it while your date is ordering and it will make her think first.

Try these lines "Khun pen khon rapitchoop naa" or simply "rapitchoop naa", which means she has to eat it all(really means "you are the person responsible for this food). Thais understand this way of thinking very well. It falls in line with the "siaday naa" which means regrettable (in terms of wastefulness). This might not stop the hardcore bargirl, but it will slow down more the decent types and probably get a few laughs as well.

Edited November 6, 2007 by mauiguy90