Do You Have A Thai Wife Or Girlfriend?

[GetBackJoJo]

That is what many folk back home may be thinking of us guys out here.

I have been in LOS for a few years. I make the occasional phone call back to 'the folks'. I am used to gentle inuendo.... harmless jokes based on the usual stereotypes regarding Thai chicks. Harmless. I go with it and have a laugh.

However I have just finished a phone call with a certain fammily member who i have never realy got with too great. Enquiring about my GF, who i have been with for almost 3 years, the line of questioning was more intense than the usual harmless banter;

'Did you like, pay for her?'

'Was she from a bar?'

'How young is she?'

'Does she speak English, or are you not bothered about that as long as she holds fort in the sacks?'

'I guess she does all your ironing, cooking, cleaning... is she like a maid?'

Gut instinct was to kick off to high hel_l and shut this <deleted> up. I found myself at a loss and just for the laugh of it, I answerd yes to every question that was asked. To my suprise, there conclusion was;

'Ahhh.... thats ok, good on you! Nothing wrong with that, and thats what we figured'

<deleted>.

My GF is one year older than me, so thats that particular stereotype nailed. i didnt meet her in a bar. She had her own business. She has her own money. And i am not a huge pile of lard with a wig. Im an average looking bloke.

But if my GF was 20 years younger than me, straight out of Pussy Galore in Patong... who cares?

I speak to westerners every day on the phone through my job. Occasionaly i get asked 'you live in Thailand.... ahh... you have a girly then?' I usualy just laugh it off.

Now im thinking....

Do those dickheads back home assume i am here just to land myself an 18 year old munchkin with pigtails, who can project ping pong balls into the gulf of Thailand quicker than you can say 'how much for a fortnight'?

fark'em anyway. Couldnt give a toss what there perceptions are. Im just intrigued.... I always thought the stereotype was a cliche?

Or do guys back home realy think this way?

Im not bothered. Couldnt give a bugger. Just asking the question....

[chonabot]

Not only the guys, just as much the ladies in my opinion. I live in a small town in the UK and after being married here for 10 years I can still detect a certain quasi-aloofness from certain individuals and couples. I put it down to a mixture of ignorance, racial stereotyping, jealousy and above all stupidity. And if that is the make-up of people who choose to look down on me , then I am so very happy to be in a different category to them.

There are however just as many people who are open minded and welcoming, and thank God for them !

[tropo]

Allow me to put a spanner in the works here and be brutally honest.

I'm in Asia for one reason. I reached my use-by-date back at home.

In most cases the back home people are correct in their assessment.

I don't care what back home people think.

[britmaveric]

Live your life and ignore the muppets.

[ThaidleHands]

Water seeks its own level.

[dee123]

very honest tropo!

Edited November 7, 2007 by dee123

[dee123]

if you were a young english gal travelling to marry a rich american man no problem with that!......double standards!

[tropo]

very honest tropo!

I was living on one of the finest surf beaches in Australia... Fresh air, great climate, great food. Thailand is a step backwards in almost very way.

Sometimes I still think I was crazy to leave. Loneliness can drive people to do stange things, things that back-home people don't always understand.

[DamianMavis]

When I first got to Thailand I was as bad as the worst judgemental plicks.... I couldnt stand the site of a young woman with an older man. Now after gaining much wisdom and understanding I totally don't feel that way at all, although I still have a good chuckle when its obvious some poor guy is being taken for a ride by his scheming girlfriend. It isnt right to be alone, at any time in your life. If you have to move here to find happiness then so be it. I would do it and will do it if one day many years from now I feel completely unhappy and alone. But hopefully that wont be my situation in the future. Even in my young prime 20's I remember spending a year alone and feeling more miserable than I ever had... (YES it is THAT HARD to find a girlfriend in Canada sometimes... its freaking ridiculous) and if someone had told me there was a magical place I could easily find a girlfriend I would have jumped on a plane right away.

Damian

[cooL_guY_corY]

i think its a british thing

[GuestHouse]

i think its a british thing

I think you might be right on that. During our two years in Italy we experienced only one incident of someone making a derogatory comment - and that was an English woman.

While I'm very pro Britain I'll not deny that spite and evny is a national trate in the UK. (we see plenty of incidences of this Spite and Envy here on TV) - So I also don't think the comments are limitted to having an Asian wife, I think for the British anything different or beyond expectations is the stuff of S&E.

[CarlBkk]

First of all the OP said he didn't care what people thought, but then cared when someone questioned if his gf fitted stereotypes. Of course people care. No-one REALLY wants to admit they've got hitched to an ex-bargirl with a beer-induced bum who's only goal in life is to have fun without making her own money do they? Most people want to feel proud of their partner naturally.

He asked if people back home really stereotype Thai partners in that way. Yes they do, not just back home but here too. People stereotype and generalise from the sample they see and meet, not just what's portrayed in tacky glossies. The increasing number of us men bringing back wives that would be deemed "dodgy" in looks, age difference, education, morals, baggage and history leaves people thinking negative thoughts and having a negative image as a whole. Some may say they don't care that people think the relationship is a mismatch but complain about stereotyping whilst stereotyping comes from seeing mismatched couples! Ironic hey.

[CarlBkk]

i think its a british thing

I think you might be right on that. During our two years in Italy we experienced only one incident of someone making a derogatory comment - and that was an English woman.

While I'm very pro Britain I'll not deny that spite and evny is a national trate in the UK. (we see plenty of incidences of this Spite and Envy here on TV) - So I also don't think the comments are limitted to having an Asian wife, I think for the British anything different or beyond expectations is the stuff of S&E.

From what I've heard in other mainland European countries people are much more obvious and less forgiving with their opinions in the street. Germany for instance.

[blizzard]

my favorite topic.

like i said in another post. the reputation re thai gurls is basically true.

most guys cum here for one thing.

not mut else going on here that is not avai;able in yr home cuntry.

[Acquiesce]

Let it not be said that racism is dead, it is unfortunately still here , throughout the world. Those who have the need to feel racially superior are at the least, inferior; they are the losers as history has shown countless times.

[torrenova]

Whilst some people are here by choice when they had options back in their country of birth or other westernised civilisation, the fact is that many are here for companionship often masked as economic necessity or betterment of life etc. For those guys perhaps over 60, their maybe a mental reach back to the past when women were, well, they were women. They were stereotyped as taking care of the husband, the house and the children. The guys earned the money.

So if you're 60 in the Uk for example and not a millionaire, famous or drive a Ferrari, then your choices of female companion are likely to be 50+ divorcees and wisows with saggy bodies and carrying a good few extra kilos of lard. In fact, get past your early 30's and you are in the same market only they are slightly younger but they come with other guys cast off kids. Who the hel_l in their right mind would want that for the rest of their lives ?

So out here guys can get a companion who may value things differently but will likely look at the whole package (which is essentially money based in all relationships) and not just the age. Now if you have an 80 year old guy and a 20 year old girl then I think something is wrong but 10, 15, 20+ years is often normal here.

The ones making the judgement calls are the ones stuck back in the UK and elsewhere with their fat, haggared, poisonous old wives and a country bleeding them dry. Sorry but I don't care, if you can get some happiness out of what is left in your life then, as long as it doesn't harm anyone seriously and you don't go and blow the family fortune on some undererving scheming bitch, then sod it. Retire to the sun for booze, golf, less aches and pains, cheap cars, cheap and available medical care, cheap accommodation and some attractive companionship.

Now if yo want to hold a debate about the proliferation of nuclear arms then you might have to go down the pub and then try and find a guy who you can talk to but you don't have to end up with a girl who is little more than a performing monkey unless you want one.

[TonyLeung]

These stereotypes must be more common in Europe than America. I doubt more than half of America could find Thailand on a map.

And...9 out of a 10 times you see a farang making an asshol_e out of himself in Thailand he is from England or Germany. Thats just the way it seems to go.

Edited November 7, 2007 by TonyLeung

[garro]

This sort of thing no longer bothers me.

I spent a lot of my life in the UK and had to fight against the sterotype that Irish people are 'thick'.

Only a loud miniority publicise this type of steroyping, and they are not usually people I would want to know anyway.

It is hard not to make internal judgements about people, but only scumbags and the mentally ill publicise these thoughts.

[tropo]

Let it not be said that racism is dead, it is unfortunately still here , throughout the world. Those who have the need to feel racially superior are at the least, inferior; they are the losers as history has shown countless times.

What has this thread got to do with racism? Can't you find another thread to pollute?

[Mosha]

In my own experience, the women ( and blokes ), believe we marry Thais because we want a door mat. My own experience, is yes she was a bar girl, so what. She is 2 years younger than me, and generally good with money. If I tried to use her as a door mat I'd lose my foot.

Edited November 8, 2007 by Mosha

[PhilHarries]

In my own experience, the women ( and blokes ), believe we marry Thais because we want a door mat. My own experience, is yes she was a bar girl, so what. She is 2 years younger than me, and generally good with money. If I tried to use her as a door mat I'd lose my foot.

Too bluddy true , and too often far far from the truth.

My Thai missus of ten years was anything but a doormat and I carry the scars to prove it . But the narrow minded tw@ts back "home" (UK) don't want to hear that sort of thing as the truth really fcuks up their bigotted theories. Also the truth doesn't make half as good gossip as the bullsh1t.

<deleted> 'em all, I'll live my life as I wish and leave them scratching out a living 9 to 5 just to pay the mortgage on a pile of bricks in suburbia making do with two weeks in Spain once a year.

[hiromj]

When I first took my Japanese wife back to the states (10 years younger than me), we got the looks. But the worst part was my family's attitude that they were going to "Americanize" her. I put a very quick stop to that.

[jubby]

Come on Guys it ain't that much of a big deal in the UK, or Europe for that matter.

my wife & I lived in the UK for Ten years, travelled extensively around europe and only ever had one snide or joking comment from a collegue who was well known for putting his foot in it.

People are much too busy trying to pay there mortgages, council tax and keep up with the Jones to really care.

My wife has been mistaken for Chinese, Japanese and Philipino, The UK has changed so much in the last ten years, we just don't stand out anymore, we have a huge mix of Nationalitys and cultures;

My Doctors for as long as I can remember have been Indian/Pakistani, the corner shop is ran by Asians, There are hundreds of Carwash business that have sprung up staffed by what appears to be Iraqi's , Kurds and afgani's. The Postman was Polish we have a huge amount of takeaway establishments on our highstreet, with real Chinese, Turkish, Vietnamese, Afgani and Thai people.

It seems to work. I quite fancy some of the Polish Bar maids ;-)

[PeaceBlondie]

I paid my dues in the West, worked hard, supported my 6 kids and a lazy wife, took lots of crap from bosses and customers at the job, played the game by the rules for decades, and deprived myself of the kind of sex I really wanted.

So, if I want to live here and have a Thai partner or three who wouldn't pass inspection down at the First Baptist Church in Texas, what do I care? I was well-traveled as an American before ever coming to Asia, and few Americans know what is possible here.

My buddy who's maybe in his early 50's (divorced, with enough money) finally tried dating a divorced American woman in her early 50's last month. Total disaster; the lady spent the entire date complaining about both her divorces, and her son's divorce! My other buddy in his late 50's hasn't gotten laid in decades, and there's nothing wrong with him except he's picky about finding the right woman.

It's your life; do what you want. Don't hurt others, but don't be swayed by some folks back home who wouldn't understand if you explained it ten times.

Oh, I just got an email from some guy in Mexico whose only comment about Thailand was that the girls are so good looking. And both my buddies in Texas would really like to find an Asian girl with old fashioned, obedient lifestyle.

[wolf359]

I think you might be right on that. During our two years in Italy we experienced only one incident of someone making a derogatory comment - and that was an English woman.

While I'm very pro Britain I'll not deny that spite and evny is a national trate in the UK. (we see plenty of incidences of this Spite and Envy here on TV) - So I also don't think the comments are limitted to having an Asian wife, I think for the British anything different or beyond expectations is the stuff of S&E.

You are wrong to think 'Envy' is a national trate in the UK, during my travels in Italy I have seen many examples of it. Perhaps you are just out of touch. Look at every nations TV its all about envy and as for Spite you are way off.

[kangeroo]

I have a few friends in thailand that are just over 60 they both have thai gf around 30 and yes they were bar girls , i have met them a few times over the last few years and the joy and care that these girls have given my friends you can not buy in Australia. For these guys its a win win situation everybody is happy ,beats the hel_l out of sitting at home looking out the window waiting for something to happen. All there familys are out there living life why shoudnt they. Come to think of it im almost in the same situation as my friends .

cheers.

[chiang mai]

There's some great posts here, mostly all hit the nail right on the head. I've only ever had one problem regarding my Thai better half when visiting the UK on holiday. Walking down Whitehall a twenty something year old walked past us and said loudly, "you bought that at the farking beach didn't ya". Ironically he was too busy looking at us and mouthing off that he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking and immediately after his mini-speech he tripped and went sprawling on the pavement - rather ironic I thought!

Spot on with the poster who mentioned the rich elderly American with the young western girl, spot on also the elderly westerner with the Eastern European lass half his age that you see so much of in the UK. Much hypocracy and bigotry remains in the UK but do I care. I wake up each morning next to a very beautiful lady, live in the Tropics and I pay no tax whatsoever - I ask you, who's enjoying their life more.

[LinkPopularity]

well, all the farang I know around here don't have bar-girls as GF, not the hi-so university types either, but decent woman, who have nothing in common with bar-girls .... so my impression is that hardly any farang have bar-girls for GF's, but that's only because I don't hang out in bars myself

if you have a quick visit here you're not going to meet me or any of my friends, but the dirty old guys, drunken losers, tattoo Joe etc, because the tourists don't come where we live, but they do go to the bars themselves ... that's where they get the idea from

so, it says more about them then about us !

[Naam]

There's some great posts here, mostly all hit the nail right on the head. I've only ever had one problem regarding my Thai better half when visiting the UK on holiday. Walking down Whitehall a twenty something year old walked past us and said loudly, "you bought that at the farking beach didn't ya". Ironically he was too busy looking at us and mouthing off that he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking and immediately after his mini-speech he tripped and went sprawling on the pavement - rather ironic I thought!

Spot on with the poster who mentioned the rich elderly American with the young western girl, spot on also the elderly westerner with the Eastern European lass half his age that you see so much of in the UK. Much hypocracy and bigotry remains in the UK but do I care. I wake up each morning next to a very beautiful lady, live in the Tropics and I pay no tax whatsoever - I ask you, who's enjoying their life more.

the guy sprawling on the pavement

[Khun Bob]

Enjoy what you have - there is more important things to worry about !