Two Brothers Cannot Marry Same Year....

[luke71]

Hello there,

Just sharing my experience, looking for help and advice.

In October me and my girlfriend decided to get married in march 2008 (we have been together for 3 years).

She had told me to ask my elder brother (he is in Germany) if he plans to marry in 2008 too, as they believe the following:

- Two brothers cannot get married the same year.

But I did not ask him, because:

- if he had plans to marry that would have influenced his choice. The last thing I wanted was to ask my brother to marry a year later because of my girlfriend's beliefs.

- if he has plans to marry he should have to propose his girlfriend first, before telling me.

Turns out he has planned ot marry before I told him about my marriage, and proposed later.

Now my girlfriend wants to marry in 2009, which is fine for me, but also does not want me to go and see her until that date because of her parent's shame (they had already announced the marriage).

Nice one, eh?

Have somebody heard of a similar situation? Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Luca

[gburns57au]

Hello there,

Just sharing my experience, looking for help and advice.

In October me and my girlfriend decided to get married in march 2008 (we have been together for 3 years).

She had told me to ask my elder brother (he is in Germany) if he plans to marry in 2008 too, as they believe the following:

- Two brothers cannot get married the same year.

But I did not ask him, because:

- if he had plans to marry that would have influenced his choice. The last thing I wanted was to ask my brother to marry a year later because of my girlfriend's beliefs.

- if he has plans to marry he should have to propose his girlfriend first, before telling me.

Turns out he has planned ot marry before I told him about my marriage, and proposed later.

Now my girlfriend wants to marry in 2009, which is fine for me, but also does not want me to go and see her until that date because of her parent's shame (they had already announced the marriage).

Nice one, eh?

Have somebody heard of a similar situation? Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Luca

What nationalities are involved here ???

Youre gf doesnt want you to go and see her until 2009 ???......sounds strange.

[Monkey Fish]

Would it help to use the Thai New Year?

Is your brother planning to marry after Songkran?

[TonyLeung]

when you have kids she is probably gonna raise them with all that village voodoo.

[LaoPo]

LaoPo

[Rajah]

Have somebody heard of a similar situation?

Yes, but still the question arises, which nationalities are involved?

I wanted to marry my former girl friend (Thai) and a problem was, that her younger sister (of course Thai as well) wanted to marry the same year. So we had to postpone our marriage for several months until the beginning of the following year (January). I can't imagine that it concerns a Thai family if a foreign brother is marrying a foreign girl in another country Or are there Thai parties involved? That might be a different story.

[onlooker]

Cant your g/f just sacrifice a chicken or buffalo or something to appease the Gods of Love. If you transfer some cash for a new 32" LCD TV that might also help to ease mamma & papa's loss of face

[jayjayjayjay]

Now my girlfriend wants to marry in 2009, which is fine for me, but also does not want me to go and see her until that date because of her parent's shame (they had already announced the marriage).

Nice one, eh?

Have somebody heard of a similar situation? Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Luca

Luca, just keep sending her money, I can see you getting married in 2 years, but not to this lass, she might not want to divorce her husband before then. Find another one!

Follow the links that support our great website with lots of adds.... www.thailovelinks.com is a good start.

To Religious Omens Let Lie

[Stephen Cleary]

I hate to say it but it reads like..........she is perhaps making up an excuse for the two of you to seperate.

Personally, i can not believe that one about not wanting to see you until 2009 because of her parents shame! What a load of baloney!

I'm sorry, but your girlfriend is just making up a story to either make you feel guilty (for some weird reason) or wants you to pack your bags and leave.

[chanchao]

Run!

[KhaoNiaw]

Personally, i can not believe that one about not wanting to see you until 2009 because of her parents shame! What a load of baloney!

Right. Because how does you just disappearing off the radar for a year reduce any shame? Just get her to visit you, then her parents can announce that you got married while she was over.

[Mosha]

The only thing my wife says would stop 2 brothers marrying in the same year, is because of the Sin Sod.

[lazeeboy]

Hello there,

Just sharing my experience, looking for help and advice.

In October me and my girlfriend decided to get married in march 2008 (we have been together for 3 years).

She had told me to ask my elder brother (he is in Germany) if he plans to marry in 2008 too, as they believe the following:

- Two brothers cannot get married the same year.

But I did not ask him, because:

- if he had plans to marry that would have influenced his choice. The last thing I wanted was to ask my brother to marry a year later because of my girlfriend's beliefs.

- if he has plans to marry he should have to propose his girlfriend first, before telling me.

Turns out he has planned ot marry before I told him about my marriage, and proposed later.

Now my girlfriend wants to marry in 2009, which is fine for me, but also does not want me to go and see her until that date because of her parent's shame (they had already announced the marriage).

Nice one, eh?

Have somebody heard of a similar situation? Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Luca

never heard of anything so silly ,if she's like this before you marry whats she gonna be like after

[gburns57au]

I married my wife in May....her younger sister is getting married on Christmas Day....her older sister was married last December.....

Sort of puts the kibosh on not marrying in the same year....

[t.s]

I married my wife in May....her younger sister is getting married on Christmas Day....her older sister was married last December.....

Sort of puts the kibosh on not marrying in the same year....

tell her parents its now or never. if they are losing face over a 1 year delay, they will be shattered when you cancel altogether.

ts

[Stephen Cleary]

The only thing my wife says would stop 2 brothers marrying in the same year, is because of the Sin Sod.

Urrghh....? The only reason that i can fathom out of this, would be in the event of 2 sons trying to bum the sin-sot cash out of their parents.

"Sorry son, yer brother's just married, and since we were the ones who had to fork out the sin-sot as the whipper-snapper didn't have a baht to his name - you'll have to wait 'til next year before we have saved enough money again".

I'm just wonder whether the OP is simply trolling....

Edited December 6, 2007 by Stephen Cleary

[Gary A]

You are a lucky guy. you were given the best advice by chanchao. RUN!

[Mosha]

The only thing my wife says would stop 2 brothers marrying in the same year, is because of the Sin Sod.

Urrghh....? The only reason that i can fathom out of this, would be in the event of 2 sons trying to bum the sin-sot cash out of their parents.

"Sorry son, yer brother's just married, and since we were the ones who had to fork out the sin-sot as the whipper-snapper didn't have a baht to his name - you'll have to wait 'til next year before we have saved enough money again".

That's what I mean't Stephen

[blizzard]

maybe wants time to look for another man to marry. if she cant find one the current one will do.......................

[DamianMavis]

Luke71, if you are serious (Im thinking you MUST be joking) than my question to you is: WHY DO YOU BELEIVE EVERYTHING SHE SAYS?" Are you aware of the thousands of stories similar to yours that involve the Thai girlfriend lying and making up whatever story she needs to manipulate you into doing what she wants? This happens all the time, WE are supposed to use our heads and common sense to catch onto the hints and figure out when something is a lie and totally wrong... but it seems guys like you dont figure it out and get scammed for everything you are worth..... There is no cultural reason to not see you for 2 years until the marriage. The REAL reason is something else, whether that is because she is currently married to someone else, has another boyfriend visiting now or has 4 guys sending her money and is stretching out the length of time you send her money (YOU ARE SENDING HER MONEY RIGHT? I MEAN.... YOU ACT LIKE A GUY WHO MUST BE SENDING HER MONEY) before you find out she will never marry you. Seriously, think about it. The longer she keeps you tagging along the longer you support her, even if you aren't sending money RIGHT NOW, she will definately ask for money along the road... and for a woman you dont even get to see! Remarkable what men will do in the name of "love" or is it lust?

She is definately playing you, cut her loose and find someone else

Damian

[Amy1]

So,every people said THE SAME...plz thinking about it or I saw one pic of member is PRIVATE DANCER..those book is good.If you hv a chance order and read it carefully..

Hopefully,your eyes will open soon.

Love is love and love is never ever harm >> I meant that people who's in love each other without trick..They would love spending every sweet moment together..They will never ever wanna far a way from their lover!

Good Luck

[cm-happy]

Or Maybe she is just trying to gently say no to you, she does not want to or cannot marry you. You know how Thais HATE to say NO!!

[luke71]

Thank you guys, for all the advices.

Here is some missing information and a few comments:

I am italian. She is Thai. My bro is Italian and his future wife Bulgarian...mm..what a mess

Would it help to use the Thai New Year?

Looks like not.

Is your brother planning to marry after Songkran?

June. I planned in March. Both in 2008.

when you have kids she is probably gonna raise them with all that village voodoo.

Yes, I am afraid of that too. But this comes with the Thai Love package anyway I guess.

"I wanted to marry my former girl friend (Thai) and a problem was, that her younger sister (of course Thai as well) wanted to marry the same year. So we had to postpone our marriage for several months until the beginning of the following year (January)."

So, here's a similar case.

"I can't imagine that it concerns a Thai family if a foreign brother is marrying a foreign girl in another country Or are there Thai parties involved? That might be a different story."

Well, that would be good. But is there a Book where all this voodoo is written? I guess they all go by "they say this, they say that".

"I hate to say it but it reads like..........she is perhaps making up an excuse for the two of you to seperate."

I don't think so. She asked me if it is possible to make it in December (now!), but it is not possible for me.

Ok, before we go ahead, I need to tell you more about me: I am 36, good appearance, have my own small online business, I travelled no stop the last 7 years, have seen 40 countries, speak 7 languages. I met her in the last months of my round-the-world 3 years ago, realized she is a great girl and decided to stay with her (I was getting older, eh eh). I am not desperate to get married, just want to stay with her. And, no, I did not meet her in a bar.

"Right. Because how does you just disappearing off the radar for a year reduce any shame? Just get her to visit you, then her parents can announce that you got married while she was over."

I think this is just her first minute reaction to the shock. I'm giving her some time to cool down.

If she insists on this, I'll be gone. I've been through the "if she leaves me I die" situation before (polish girl). She left me. My life got better

"tell her parents its now or never. if they are losing face over a 1 year delay, they will be shattered when you cancel altogether."

Parents seem ok with the marriage in March. They do not want to loose face. She says she wants to do things properly.

maybe wants time to look for another man to marry. if she cant find one the current one will do

everything is possible. But she insisted in getting married as 3 years where already too much.

WHY DO YOU BELEIVE EVERYTHING SHE SAYS?"

I don't. She is a woman and she is Thai. Lying is part of the communication process.

Are you aware of the thousands of stories similar to yours that involve the Thai girlfriend lying and making up whatever story she needs to manipulate you into doing what she wants?

I am

YOU ARE SENDING HER MONEY RIGHT? I MEAN.... YOU ACT LIKE A GUY WHO MUST BE SENDING HER MONEY

You'll be surprised, I am not. She works for me with my online business. She works and gets the money (an average thai salary).

even if you aren't sending money RIGHT NOW, she will definately ask for money along the road

In 3 years she never asked.

Ok, thank you again. I am happy there is such a community out there to help!

Luca

[dave111223]

as they believe the following:

- Two brothers cannot get married the same year.

You mean this is some kind of religious/moral belief?

Or they actually think there is a law preventing 2 brothers from getting married in the same year?

Edited December 6, 2007 by dave111223

[luke71]

You mean this is some kind of religious/moral belief?

It has more to do with bad luck.

If two brothers marry the same year, one marriage may/will not work.

My guess is that it originates in order to avoid an excessive burden on the family of the grooms (so a practical ban) and became a belief (so a moral one).

Something like muslims not eating pork because pork meat in muslim countries was not healthy, so Moahamed said "no pork" and now this is a moral requirement for every muslim.

Luca

[KhaoNiaw]

She asked me if it is possible to make it in December (now!), but it is not possible for me.

This must be a half-decent attempt at a fishing trip.

[blizzard]

oh no sir/

say it aint so.

employing her to help in yr online buznit is same same as giving her monwy, just not as samesame.

read thread in issarn section. where guy is in a bind yet following his story there were so many red flags.

if yr girl is overly interested in how you do financially.........WATCH OUT do AS TOM HANKS DID, run forrest run.

[pointofview]

I have just asked my wife (thai) of 14 years. She says if 2 brothers or sisters marry in the same year then bad luck will fall on 30 generations for upsetting the god of soi 6 pattaya.

[luke71]

As I was hoping/guessing: I let her cool down, analyze the situation, weight pros and cons and...she decided by herself to drop the belief and it's gonna be March.

It wasn't for sure easy for her, but at least she showed me that she is willing to compromise. I have to a lot.

Typical. I guess the first 48 hours after a cultural shock are better spent in silence...after that she was able to think clearly at first.

Thank you guys for all the comments, even the negative ones, all helps.

Good luck to everybody.

[gburns57au]

As I was hoping/guessing: I let her cool down, analyze the situation, weight pros and cons and...she decided by herself to drop the belief and it's gonna be March.

It wasn't for sure easy for her, but at least she showed me that she is willing to compromise. I have to a lot.

Typical. I guess the first 48 hours after a cultural shock are better spent in silence...after that she was able to think clearly at first.

Thank you guys for all the comments, even the negative ones, all helps.

Good luck to everybody.

I suspect that cultural shock is not the only shock you may get....

Thai girls dont compromise that easily....especially if it relates to culture or tradition. And moreso to family face.

They are some things here that are ringing alarm bells....maybe you need to check it out a bit more.

First lesson with Thai girls is....trust your gut feelings...you came here and asked a question, that means you are unsure about something... work that out first.