Informal Surprise Wedding Plan: Questions...

[cheesesux]

So hello everybody! First post here, thinking that this forum is well-traveled and full of knowledgeable people, here's hoping someone can help me with my problem.

I'm looking to surprise my fiancee with a wedding in Thailand, so do not want to bother with any of the legal hassle involved. She and I live in Japan right now (we're both Canadian citizens) and we're getting officially married here next year (mostly for Visa reasons). I want to surprise her and have a ceremony that is just for the two of us and entirely planned by me. She'll never see it coming and it will be really meaningful to just have the two of us, since the wedding in Japan next year will be full of family and obligations and all that malarky...

So, my issue is that I want something very quiet and simple, perhaps around Chiang Mai (though I've toyed with the idea of Nong Khai, where I spent three months on an exchange program and have a host family contact) or one of the less touristy islands like Chang (been a while since I was there, is it overrun by bongos and beaded hair yet? ), or heck, even Doi Ithanon for a laugh!

I don't want a big reception or anything, so most of the organizations out there can't help me. I also don't want this legalized since that would ruin the surprise (I really don't know how I could get that done while in Japan without her noticing), I just want ANY kind of simple union in a beautiful location.

What I would humbly ask from you, oh venerable forum posters, is the name of an individual or organization that would perform this for us. I can speak enough Thai to get by, so that's not too much of an issue, and money's not an issue either. Just the happiness of my litle lady is all that matters.

Thank you very much in advance, I'm sure you won't let me down!

-Mike (and Biz, though she doesn't know it)

[mart29]

Personally i think thats about the biggest mistake you could make.

Girls love all the planning and prep that goes with the wedding, youll be taking half the experience away from her. Its a nice idea from a guys perspective but id expect a kick in the nuts if i did that.

[donna]

i have sent you a PM, cheesesux.

after re-reading your post, i do see the word 'I' repeated there a lot, as opposed to 'we'. just make sure that you are doing this for both of you, not just yourself.

[cheesesux]

Personally i think thats about the biggest mistake you could make.

Girls love all the planning and prep that goes with the wedding, youll be taking half the experience away from her. Its a nice idea from a guys perspective but id expect a kick in the nuts if i did that.

Yeah, except that we've got a wedding in Japan already planned (date, location, kimono, everything), and neither of us are really pleased that it's going to be a big, gaudy affair filled with people. We'd prefer something smaller, so I want to pull something out of the blue and surprise her. This WILL be a pleasant surprise, she would NEVER expect this from me, and it's really heartfelt.

And after our Japanese wedding, we're going to have another one when we get back to Canada, anyway. We're going to perfect our wedding technique over time, we might just have a couple every year. More vacation time that way...

[cheesesux]

It is 'I' because this is a surprise. We're doing the Japanese wedding because of visa related issues, mainly, but we've known each other for 10 years (since high school) and the actual wedding 'event' isn't nearly as important to us as most people tend to make it out to be. We're absolutely committed and the ceremony aspect is purely for fun (though the Japanese wedding part is mostly for my visa).

So during our pre-honeymoon winter vacation to Thailand, I'm going to surprise the person I'm aiming to be with forever with something she never would have expected. This is wedding #1 of 3, mind you, though she doesn't know it. It's the sentiment that I would do this kind of thing and plan this kind of thing out in advance that is going to surprise her. She's not the type to be disappointed that she didn't get to help with the planning because the whole point of this is to have a simple, intimate, personal ceremony for just the two of us. The other two weddings are largely going to be for other peoples' sakes, and I don't want that (but it has to be). So I plan to make our first wedding our most important one.

Don't worry guys, i've thought this through.

[thaihome]

Since a wedding, without the legalization part, is just a religous cermoney, which religon were you planning on the ceronmy being?

I belive your contacts in Nong Khai could plan a simple Budhist cermony, but unless one of you is Budhist, it would be meaningless don't you think?

TH

[cheesesux]

Since a wedding, without the legalization part, is just a religous cermoney, which religon were you planning on the ceronmy being?

I belive your contacts in Nong Khai could plan a simple Budhist cermony, but unless one of you is Budhist, it would be meaningless don't you think?

TH

Nope, no religion. Buddhist ceremonies take a long time and I want to surprise her with something short and sweet. This is to express my love for her and my dedication. It is important because it is just me telling her that I want to be with her forever, with no distractions. The most important thing is how much I care about her, so that's all the ceremony is about.

[thaihome]

Since a wedding, without the legalization part, is just a religous cermoney, which religon were you planning on the ceronmy being?

I belive your contacts in Nong Khai could plan a simple Budhist cermony, but unless one of you is Budhist, it would be meaningless don't you think?

TH

Nope, no religion. Buddhist ceremonies take a long time and I want to surprise her with something short and sweet. This is to express my love for her and my dedication. It is important because it is just me telling her that I want to be with her forever, with no distractions. The most important thing is how much I care about her, so that's all the ceremony is about.

You completely missed my point, nor do you appear to understand the separation of religion from civil ceremony in Thailand. There is no civil ceremony in Thailand, you sign the paper at the amphur and that is it. The only ceremony is a Buddhist (or Muslim or Christian, etc) one.

Sounds like what you are looking for is someone to say some words and listen to you say some sort of vow (based on a Christian ceremony) to your girl friend.

TH

[cheesesux]

Since a wedding, without the legalization part, is just a religous cermoney, which religon were you planning on the ceronmy being?

I belive your contacts in Nong Khai could plan a simple Budhist cermony, but unless one of you is Budhist, it would be meaningless don't you think?

TH

Nope, no religion. Buddhist ceremonies take a long time and I want to surprise her with something short and sweet. This is to express my love for her and my dedication. It is important because it is just me telling her that I want to be with her forever, with no distractions. The most important thing is how much I care about her, so that's all the ceremony is about.

You completely missed my point, nor do you appear to understand the separation of religion from civil ceremony in Thailand. There is no civil ceremony in Thailand, you sign the paper at the amphur and that is it. The only ceremony is a Buddhist (or Muslim or Christian, etc) one.

Sounds like what you are looking for is someone to say some words and listen to you say some sort of vow (based on a Christian ceremony) to your girl friend.

TH

If you were adding something that would have been of value, I would have perhaps written your low-grade condescension off as a personality flaw, but it seems you missed the point, Thaihome.

The word 'ceremony' is not relegated purely to the world of religion. Neither of us are religious and so, yes, it would be meaningless to have a Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, etc. type of religious ceremony. I have found 2 places online that will offer what I'm looking for, but I'm not sold on them yet. I would prefer just finding someone who is experienced with doing civil unions and not at all bothering with dealing with the Amphur since legalization isn't being considered. The 'ceremony' is what we make it.

We are going to be in Thailand, that is a given. I wish to do something that will be a very personal, quiet affirmation to my little lady. We are not going to Thailand to get married. We are going there for a vacation during the winter months, and I am going to do something to surprise her.

It's small-minded of you to relate to my interest in a one-on-one avowal as being a Christian-type ceremony. We're not going to sign any papers. This is a personal matter, and neither of us enjoys the ugly paperwork that is necessitated by 'legal unions.' We're also not having our marriage in Japan legalized. Not because it's difficult or expensive, but only because it's not our style. So thank you for being concerned about whether or not I know what I'm looking for for my 'girl friend' and I, but I'm pretty sure that I just might have a bit more insight into what is most suitable for us.

My previous postings were written rather hastily because I had very limited periods of time in which to use the internet, so perhaps I wasn't entirely crystal clear. I hope this eliminates any questions for potential serious posters.

I'm not looking for some kitsch, gaudy 'ceremony' to entertain myself and my 'girlfriend' with (she's a lot more than that, we've known each other for a decade). This is not a whim and it is not a spur of the moment deal. I've had this kind of thing in mind for well over a year now, but my previous plan had to be changed. I see this as my chance to make a solemn and incredibly intimate promise to her, and witless cracks from the peanut gallery aren't terribly useful.

So once again, I hope this elicits some useful response from serious posters.

Thank you,

-Mike

[Briggsy]

Bungee jump in wedding garb?

Or, alternatively, the underwater ceremony is popular here.

[dave111223]

Don't you think you should maybe plan a surprise honeymoon in Thailand instead?

[cheesesux]

Yeah Dave, that's kinda the idea as well. We've thought of it as a pre-honeymoon, so this'll make it a pre- and post-honeymoon at the same time.

Heh, the bungee jump idea could be fun afterwards, as long as I can coerce her into doing it.

I appreciate the ideas guys, thanks.

-Mike

[pumpuiman]

As you don't seem to be getting much help, Might I make a suggestion?

Call to one of the large hotels...Hilton...Sheraton..etc. and ask to speak with the concierge.

It's their job to find solutions...perhaps you'll have some luck.

Combining a resort hotel stay might be nice as well..(Hilton Hua Hin is nice)

Best wishes,

Eric

[Khun Jean]

I just think the FAKE 'pre' and FAKE 'post' "marriages" will take away the feeling AND MEANING of the REAL marriage day.

Making ONE day very special and sharing it with friends and family is the best. You did already have a special moment only the two of you when you/she proposed, didn't you. That one was special and will be remembered and that day already showed your real feelings and commitments to eachother. Or did that day not happen or do you feel you could do better.

Reading your posts I feel you are the one in 'control' (well at least you think you are ). 'Little lady' and such uses of words. Is it that YOU don't like big cerimonies and your 'little lady' follows you in the best asian tradition?

I would skip the 'pre' and have a 'post' "marriage" if you feel not satisfied after the ONE AND ONLY REAL DAY.

Having the 'pre' might just ruin the rest.