Thailand.

[2long]

Thai by blood or by heart, you know you're Thai when...

1. you know that thai food exists beyond phad thai, green curry, and tom yum goong. you probably don't even consider anything served in overseas restaurants "thai" anyhow.

2. f*** dollar menus. you know the true value of a dollar (40 baht) and how far it could take you (and your stomach)

3. mama fuels your soul

4. youre mad chill. "mai pen rai"? either you just dont give, or you know exactly how f***ed that mofo would be a few minutes from now...

5. nothing beats a hardcore session of back-cracking thai massage when your tired

6. you know what soi dogs are and how terrifying they can be. they own the alley, not you. run

7. you dont consider drinking in dorm rooms, living room, or basement partying.

8. your very long last name or your nickname (in english) tend to amaze people

9. you don't mind drinking your soda out of a plastic bag

10.you watch lakorn, despite how predictable they are. slap that bitch, slap her.. slap her...

11.you never underestimate the power of a 26 baht sato

12.you bargain. even if its already dirt cheap, you still bargain for the sake of it

13.you love the king.

14.in April, you look forward to songkran - but NOT the heat

15.you look for the 4-round krueng prung on the table. you need your extra dose of chili/sugar/vinegar/fish sauce to spice up your life

16.even though you dont want to admit it, you know that she-boys could put real girls to shame

17. for some reason you know that tigerwoods is part thai

18.you're sick of people asking you why you're not dark, how much the red-light special costs, and "thai? thai-wan?"

19. you still ride elepants or kwais over rice patties... NOT

20. you know the capital of thailand aint bangkok. its krungtep. krungtep mahanakorn amornratanakosin mahintaramahadirok noparatrachatani burirom udomrachaniwet mahasatarn umorn vimarn aowatarnsatit. (... or something like that)

21. you know that nobody uses 25 salung or 50 satang coins. theyre useless. nobody wants them - not even the ko tarns....

22. ... and it drives you crazy when some random cashier actually asks u for it ("12 baht 50 satang ka")

23. ﾂedddd. one word says it all

24. 555, thats how u laugh

You know you live in Thailand when...

- Splashing out $3 for a meal is extravagant.

- A weekend on a tropical island is only a few hours away.

- $4.50 per night is a reasonable price for a double room with en-suite

bathroom (basic as it may be).

- Everyone you know owns at least one yellow shirt.

- In the morning, you don't need to stick your head outside to decide what to wear. You don't even need look out the window to decide what to wear. In fact, you don't need to wake up to decide what to wear.

- You're beginning to understand the notion of "Thai time", meaning don't expect anything to be done by the time you expect it.

- You had fried rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and there's nothing odd about that.

- You debate whether $8 is too much to pay for a pair of shoes.

- Playing "spot the ladyboy" is a fun way to pass time. In school.

- When you see other farangs in your neighbourhood you assume they're either teachers or lost (applies particularly when your neighbourhood is Nonthaburi).

- You feel superior to backpackers.

- You catch yourself saying "My birthday five December, same-same like King". And in fact generally speaking in a Thai accent.

- Seeing a family of four and their dog all piled on a motorbike doesn't surprise you.

- You do your shopping in the market, not Marks & Spencer.

- You have seriously adjusted your notion of what constitutes "really good English"

- You understand why 555 is the new LOL.

- You know how to respond when someone asks "poot tai dai mai?", "bai nai?" or "hew mai?"

- There's condensation on the *outside* of your office window, and in the winter it's a relief to get *out* to the warmth!

- The word "soi dog" does not make you think of a vegetarian BBQ