Economic Models Explained With Cows

[Chris Lawrence]

>> Economic Models explained with Cows

>>

>>

>>

>> SOCIALISM

>> You have 2 cows.

>> You give one to your neighbour.

>>

>>

>> COMMUNISM

>> You have 2 cows.

>> The State takes both and gives you some milk.

>>

>>

>> FASCISM

>> You have 2 cows.

>> The State takes both and sells you some milk.

>>

>>

>>

>> NAZISM

>> You have 2 cows.

>> The State takes both and shoots you.

>>

>>

>>

>> BUREAUCRATISM

>> You have 2 cows.

>> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the

>> milk

>> away...

>>

>>

>>

>> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

>> You have two cows.

>> You sell one and buy a bull.

>> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

>> You sell them and retire on the income

>>

>>

>>

>> SURREALISM

>> You have two giraffes.

>> The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

>>

>>

>>

>> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

>> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

>>

>>

>>

>> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

>> You have two cows.

>> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

>> credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

>> debt/equity

>> swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows

>> back,

>> with a tax exemption for five cows.

>> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a

>> Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who

>> sells

>> the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

>> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on

>> one

>> more.

>> You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving

>> you

>> with nine cows.

>> No balance sheet provided with the release.

>> The public then buys your bull.

>>

>>

>>

>> A FRENCH CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want

>> three cows.

>>

>>

>>

>> A JAPANESE CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and

>> produce twenty times the milk.

>> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market

>> it

>> worldwide.

>>

>>

>>

>> A GERMAN CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and

>> milk

>> themselves.

>>

>>

>>

>> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

>> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

>> You decide to have lunch.

>>

>>

>>

>> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> You count them and learn you have five cows.

>> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

>> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

>> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

>>

>>

>>

>> A SWISS CORPORATION

>> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

>> You charge the owners for storing them.

>>

>>

>>

>> A CHINESE CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> You have 300 people milking them.

>> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

>> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

>>

>>

>>

>> AN INDIAN CORPORATION

>> Two cows have you.

>>

>>

>>

>> A BRITISH CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> Both are mad.

>>

>>

>>

>> AN IRAQI CORPORATION

>> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

>> You tell them that you have none.

>> No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your

>> country.

>> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

>>

>>

>>

>> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> Business seems pretty good.

>> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

>>

>>

>>

>> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

>> You have two cows.

>> The one on the left looks very attractive

[pault17]

Excellent!!