Do I Tell Him?

[meemiathai]

It don't make sense!

Troll by any chance, trying to make farang husbands that have taken their wives out of Thailand feel uncomfortable ?

Pretty sick troll if you ask me.

The story is so full of holes, the guy he hardly knows letting him stay, the visitors that call regular, (if they was that regular they would know she was not there in the first place) and 100% another Thai woman would know that her Thai friend was going back to Thailand long before she went.

Guesthouse is a troll of the particularly evil kind, sad little guy with nothing better to do than gloat over the fact that he may have made a few decent guys feel uncomfortable.

I would have said so(troll) a lot earlier, if it hadn't been for GuestHouse. He had been in a lot of serious discussions here before. Only a bit quiet recently.

So, I might just wait for his return before making any comments.

[meemiathai]

I have one friend who only visits here on vacation- for him, Thailand's a fantasy. I don't try to tell him anything about the obvious hookers he dates here- he still thinks he knows more than me anyway. Why break up someone's good time?

"Steven"

Is he married back home?

How many guys do people here know are/had been cheating on their wives? Strange that no one ask "Do I tell her?"!

I must say I know more than a hundred guys who cheat on thier wives!! Well, but of course none who does it in his own house!! "Do I tell her?" Of course not! Why? coz I'll need a full-time job to do so.

[jackr]

If she is being a dirty whore behind her husband's back then she deserves everything she gets. Aids and death would be a good one.

Tell him!

[Crush]

If the original poster is not a Troll, then i would advise him to say nothing.

Shoot the messenger springs to mind!

He said it was not a close friend, i doubt he would get much thanks from the guy that was being informed. For some people ignorance is bliss, i personally know western men that have taken Thai women as wives on a purely business basis.

50% of the earnings after expenses, and it worked well for both of them, she was secure in the knowledge that she was in a western country with a visa in her passport and not on overstay, and he was happy to be getting extra money and a freebie. Many people live different lives to other people, but it is their life, not other peoples.

I hope this post does not sound too harsh, but i really do think silence is the best option.

[Up2U]

If the original poster is not a Troll, then i would advise him to say nothing.

Shoot the messenger springs to mind!

He said it was not a close friend, i doubt he would get much thanks from the guy that was being informed. For some people ignorance is bliss, i personally know western men that have taken Thai women as wives on a purely business basis.

50% of the earnings after expenses, and it worked well for both of them, she was secure in the knowledge that she was in a western country with a visa in her passport and not on overstay, and he was happy to be getting extra money and a freebie. Many people live different lives to other people, but it is their life, not other peoples.

I hope this post does not sound too harsh, but i really do think silence is the best option.

But probably subject to deportation if caught.

[medicinebox]

I have one friend who only visits here on vacation- for him, Thailand's a fantasy.  I don't try to tell him anything about the obvious hookers he dates here- he still thinks he knows more than me anyway.  Why break up someone's good time?

"Steven"

Is he married back home?

How many guys do people here know are/had been cheating on their wives? Strange that no one ask "Do I tell her?"!

I must say I know more than a hundred guys who cheat on thier wives!! Well, but of course none who does it in his own house!! "Do I tell her?" Of course not! Why? coz I'll need a full-time job to do so.

There is, or should be honour amongst gentlemen. You don't go there on that one. I had a man shag my girlfriend behind my back. He knew me and I knew him, not friends.

I could have got my own back and told his girlfriend a few things. But that would make me a big girly bitch and you just don't do it. It's one of those tabboo subjects that you don't go near.

A real man would never, never, never tell a splitarse that her man has been cheating.......no,no,no!!!

Besides it's ok for fellas to do it.

[stroll]

There is a big difference whether somebody has the occasional fling on the side, which I would feel alright about not reporting to a friend, and someone engaging in a full-blown commercial sex operation, which I would definetly tell my friend about, but learned the hard way not to after 6 years in Bangkok, you tend to loose a male friend and make a woman enemy by getting involved too much.

[Tornado]

I just went through a similiar situation to this thread. I am 100 % sure my mates wife is shagging behind his back when he is away at work. I have lots of witnesses who have seen her with men and two different witnesses that saw her come out of a hotel room with another guy as well. Even the day before he returned back one trip, my mate picked her up off the street at 7 am - she couldnt walk and was laying on the road. I also have a mate that told me he had shagged her and a another mate that says he does constantly (they did not know the husband, but knew his name).

I did not say anything for about 3 months and then finally said to the girls sister, that I thought she was shagging around and I asked if she had a boyfriend?

Well that is when all ###### broke loose.

Long story short, I told my mate what I thought and he didnt/wouldnt believe me.

I was asked by him why I would try and hurt him? Obviously now it is out in the open, everyone is denying it / dont know and Im left holding the baby and look a liar.

Am I glad I said something? Yes!, would I do it again? Not sure.

They are always going to believe their wives and you might lose a mate out of it.

What I do not understand is, the girl is from a bar and Im his mate with nothing to gain by saying anything - accept the loss of a mate..... I know who I would believe if I was told my ex bar girl wife was shagging around........ 

That is why its better to just shut up and not say anything. If anything guide him to a situation where he can see for himself.

Well to me, shutting up is as good as denial, they are both lies in my book.

Remember he is a great mate, not a bloke I met in a bar (hang on I did initially) and we have a lot of good history together - so in the same position I would like to be told, whatever the consequences.

What is a true friend?

[GuestHouse]

OK here is the update.

I have written (email) to the landlord to ask permission to temporaraly change the locks. I have not told him of my suspisions but simply said there have been some breakins in the area and I am concerned (which is in fact the case).

However, while I was changing the locks the neighbour accross the hall came out and we introduced ourselves. I said I was changing the locks because of security and we chatted about the recent breakins. My neighbour then mentioned the fact that he was happy to have a new neighbour and that he didn't like what was going on during the past months. I simply said 'visitors' and he said 'yes'. I told him there had been a string of callers earlier in the week and he said it will probably die down now she has moved out.

We did not discuss any furhter detail but I think my suspicions have been confirmed.

As for this being a troll.

I'm sorry it seems that way, it is not, and it is certainly not meant to make anyone else feel bad. I do not feel I need to add to the long list of warnings out there.

However, it would seem from what Tornado says that this case is perhaps not unusual, but again that was not the purpose of my post.

I think it is quite clear that the husband probably knows, or at least suspects what is going on and as one or two of you have suggested - while he might know it, he might not be admitting it to himself and he most likely will not want remiding of it.

So I think that unless any of the callers become a nuesence I shall keep quiet and let it settle down.

PS

My absence from the board this last few weeks has been due to my move back to the UK, I've only just got my internet access going again.

[Crush]

Yes Guesthouse, looks like the man knows anyway, it probably paid for his trip to Thailand.

The Dutch guy and The English guy that I knew doing the same thing where quite happy about it, it was just a business arrangement. Fair enough.

The state of most of the English women that are on the game (and there are many), I am sure a nice looking Thai women can do well.

A Few years in the UK sets her up for life. Must be better than being the oldest girl in a Thai beer bar.

[meemiathai]

That makes more sense then.

It is hard to believe that your friend doesn't know it when the whole action is in his place! But if he indeed is that stupid(no offense), I don't think telling him is a good idea. He would still be as happy as ever without noticing a nuclear bomb going off next to him! What's as destructive to a friendship as to telling a friend in trafalgar's sq. that he has forgot to wear his pants?

[myfriendu]

the only thing that seems odd to me is why they rent the flat out to you,because they would lose so much money from the girls who would be working there each day,if they have two girls there each day they get 50% of each girls income,lets just say i have first hand knowledge of this business,he must know what the wifes up to,and they would not want to lose that sort of income by going away,so mayde a troll

[Totster]

...to temporaraly change the locks.

Sorry... maybe I'm being thick.... what is the point of changing the locks..??

I know who I would believe if I was told my ex bar girl wife was shagging around........

well... it's all to do with common sense and trust really.....

totster

[meom]

I wonder if all the other apartments in the block come with intercom & CCTV.

[Savage]

If your first intimate moment was in a short time room then you're heading for trouble

[IamMaiC]

Do nothing ... you could be reading too much into this although it is suspicious. You could lose your friend over this

Yeah do u know what is exactly going on??? it does look suspicious but is it any of your business truly??

[dfwbkk]

It all comes back to whether you're good pals or not. If a good friend: Yes - you need to tell him. If not - just walk away...

Me too curious about why you felt changing locks was necessary...?

/// dfw

[IamMaiC]

he should not tell him it's none of his business he was staying at his home or his friends home?? I personally think it is none of his business. you would be surprised what happens in peoples lives in secret

[Gazza]

Guesthouse, does your friend actually work?

Did any of these 'visitors' call outside of the hours of 9 - 5?

Did anybody call on a week end?

Gazza

[Up2U]

Guesthouse - we've had one or two falling-out's on this forum before, but this is sincerely meant.

Say nothing, do nothing