High Powered Female Doctors And Lawyers

[fanciman]

I think many people must have heard discussions, often amongst such women themselves, about how hard it is to maintain, or even find a relationship with someone, due to the pressures of their work.

They are very busy, have great prospects, which they wish to keep, and yet their job and the job of their partner/prospective long term partner, keep them apart.

Why don't they just marry me? I really have a lot of time and am in no mad hurry to spend life on the rat race.

Really, why aren't don't they ever try and pick up layabouts?

[Dakhar]

Are you 65- 70 years old?

[fanciman]

Nothing like it.

Look good. Witty. House trained.

It is a mystery to me. I am not looking at this personally, though.

I just wonder why they don't go for sort of guys that just sit round the house all day. Guys don't mind chicks doing that...

[Dakhar]

Are you financially independent, are you wealthy?

But yes culturally, it seems as though women do not accept hammock dwelling men, where as for men, a woman, as long she is very attractive could care a less what they do or not do.

I think it has to do with a physical disorder that a lot of men suffer from, it is called testosterone blindness

[jetjock]

I think many people must have heard discussions, often amongst such women themselves, about how hard it is to maintain, or even find a relationship with someone, due to the pressures of their work.

They are very busy, have great prospects, which they wish to keep, and yet their job and the job of their partner/prospective long term partner, keep them apart.

Why don't they just marry me? I really have a lot of time and am in no mad hurry to spend life on the rat race.

Really, why aren't don't they ever try and pick up layabouts?

I think I have your answer. It is because Doctors and lawyers are highly educated and do not understand statements like "Really, why aren't don't they ever try and pick up layabouts?"

Edited December 29, 2007 by jetjock

[fanciman]

What about all the Fine Arts graduates, (to pick an example out of the air) or such like, the longhairs, the philosphers, they are hardly uneducated. Do such manner of men have no allure at all?

[Wrong Turn]

I think many people must have heard discussions, often amongst such women themselves, about how hard it is to maintain, or even find a relationship with someone, due to the pressures of their work.

They are very busy, have great prospects, which they wish to keep, and yet their job and the job of their partner/prospective long term partner, keep them apart.

Why don't they just marry me? I really have a lot of time and am in no mad hurry to spend life on the rat race.

fanciman may be joking (and maybe he's not), but this thread has potential, from the West.

It seems a lot of nice younger and middle-aged women are heavily focusing on career, and putting relationship, marriage, and kids on the backburner.

It also seems in my experience that a lot of spouses in many US cities are commuting and working so much that they don't even see each other that much.

Yes, many places in the US have the rat-race mentality. But it's a mental state as well as a lifestyle. It's easy to get out of.

Edited December 29, 2007 by Wrong Turn

[londonthai]

the next time you are visiting court or doctors surgery do use a lot of pheromones?

failing that go for the bank clerks or nurses- not exactly what you wanted but plentiful and easy accessible

[Donnyboy]

I think many people must have heard discussions, often amongst such women themselves, about how hard it is to maintain, or even find a relationship with someone, due to the pressures of their work.

They are very busy, have great prospects, which they wish to keep, and yet their job and the job of their partner/prospective long term partner, keep them apart.

Why don't they just marry me? I really have a lot of time and am in no mad hurry to spend life on the rat race.

Really, why aren't don't they ever try and pick up layabouts?

I would guess it would be deemed as marrying someone in a lower class than herself. Being a "layabout" isnt a career, so if your serious about landing a HPF, you better be prepared to have something going for you apart from a clean diesel shirt, hemp trousers, and open toe sandals

[Chang_paarp]

Donz you are back we missed you!!!!

If you want to shopping for a bride or even a friend, drop into almost any government office and casually mention you are single and looking. Drop a couple of business cards on the way out, make sure they have your email and phone number This should get a response from a number of single ladies in the over 30 age group. This works very well upcountry.

BTW anyone interested in meeting some ladies from the Auditor Generals Department.

[Norrad]

Actually, I have met plenty of Thai woman with high paying jobs. 150000+ per month, cars, houses, great apartments etc. Who are looking for a farang boyfriend. They always ask me if I could hook them up with one of my friends back home. The only issue they have is that their parents would probably not approve. Many of these woman have been burned in relationships with Thai men and feel that Farang men are more on their level.

[Dakhar]

150K a month.... I smell a reality check.

Cardiologist make around 50-60K at best. I know of one very attractive Thai female MS degree working for Siemens, and she is rakeing in the tremendous sum of 50K. She is all natural, tall slim, long hair, nice tight.....

Best stop there and cool off...

[Virin]

Actually, I have met plenty of Thai woman with high paying jobs. 150000+ per month, cars, houses, great apartments etc.

How old are they?? . I haven't met many Thai women to get paid that amount if they are young and having short time of working experiences unless they are daughter/relative of major shareholder .

Dakhar's post is right: Cardiologist make around 50-60K at best. I know of one very attractive Thai female MS degree working for Siemens, and she is rakeing in the tremendous sum of 50K.

[Dakhar]

I forgot to mention, she claims she is 37, which means she is probably 38, but looks like she is 27. Her career and status probably scares most men, pitty though, because she is a catch.

Me, Im off the market....

But my wife is a keeper, and for some crazy reason she thinks I am too.

[a2396]

So, what possible reason would they have to marry you?? Post your resume & financial qualifications. This will help the esteemed members evaluate your situation.

[ignoramus]

60k per month for a cardiologist? Obviously it's true, but I am amazed. The average worker in Oz makes much more than this (we have minimum wage laws - nothing like the $5-6 ph for many US workers). A bus driver in Sydney can earn 150k baht pm (with penalty rates for weekend work).

If the wage for an average worker is around 150 baht a day (115 or so in the early '90's), then a cardiologist's earnings are 14-15 times this, which I suppose is reasonable enough, but a cardiologist here wouldn't earn at this ratio (less I would think). On the other hand, a top-flight lawyer here can earn 18k per day, and some earn more!

Sorry, just thinking aloud - not trying to make much sense.

(Going on memory, the cost of certain services in the early 90's must have produced a lot of rich and now retired ladies of leisure in the LOS. Unless their cut was miniscule. No wonder they are drawn to the 'vocation'.)

There must be a great many well-off farang here, who elsewhere on the forum are discussing the purchase of vehicles costing as much, and more, than a cardiologist earns in 10 months. It's a wonder the Thais aren't falling over themselves to make the farang feel welcome. Enchanting contradiction I guess.

Back to the original question...yes, I too cannot imagine why a man of leisure - a layabout if you insist - is not considered to be a catch. Isn't laying about what the LOS is almost all about.

My sympathies to the OP.

It sounds to me like there's a fair chance you could support a cardiologist's daughter and still afford to lay about!

[dogleg]

Fanciman, I find that women, in general, in my considerable experience, whatever their income, worth or whatever, do not like to give anything tangible away. Unless there is a payback expected pretty dam_n soon!

Or are you unconcerned with the fiances' pulling power and just want an educated bird?

You will have to dangle a some type of carrot on a stick eh?

[ignoramus]

Gotta agree with you there dogleg.

The distaff branch of the human family, being infinitely more practical than your average testerone-fuelled crazy, and infinitely more attached to 'security' than are we, are indeed loathe to part with things of tangible 'value' (though philosophers would argue about what is of 'value', not that [mostly male] philosophers hold much sway with half the population).

Concomitantly, they are somewhat more prepared for the receipt of said things, and ever alert to not much else than the need for such preparedness. All very level-headed I'm bound to admit - a biological imperative in fact.

One can hardly argue with this imperative any more than one can (sanely) argue with the imperative to spread the seed.

The earnest ladies who choose to suicide-bomb for a 'cause' are beyond the understanding of yours truly, and also, I dare say, of their sisters (how they expect to profit from the 72 female virgins awaiting in paradise is a monumentally moot point).

I understand that certain wealthy widows, et al, in Japan have come to terms with the need for 'speed' however, in that they have grasped the fact that life is finite, and that fulfilment is fleeting and perforce elusive.

The OP has a perfectly legitimate, though perhaps tongue-in-cheek, enquiry.

He must have heard about the gigolos of the Italian Riviera, and the Greek Islands, and wonders what might be...

[Dakhar]

60k per month for a cardiologist? Obviously it's true, but I am amazed. The average worker in Oz makes much more than this (we have minimum wage laws - nothing like the $5-6 ph for many US workers). A bus driver in Sydney can earn 150k baht pm (with penalty rates for weekend work).

If the wage for an average worker is around 150 baht a day (115 or so in the early '90's), then a cardiologist's earnings are 14-15 times this, which I suppose is reasonable enough, but a cardiologist here wouldn't earn at this ratio (less I would think). On the other hand, a top-flight lawyer here can earn 18k per day, and some earn more!

Sorry, just thinking aloud - not trying to make much sense.

(Going on memory, the cost of certain services in the early 90's must have produced a lot of rich and now retired ladies of leisure in the LOS. Unless their cut was miniscule. No wonder they are drawn to the 'vocation'.)

There must be a great many well-off farang here, who elsewhere on the forum are discussing the purchase of vehicles costing as much, and more, than a cardiologist earns in 10 months. It's a wonder the Thais aren't falling over themselves to make the farang feel welcome. Enchanting contradiction I guess.

Back to the original question...yes, I too cannot imagine why a man of leisure - a layabout if you insist - is not considered to be a catch. Isn't laying about what the LOS is almost all about.

My sympathies to the OP.

It sounds to me like there's a fair chance you could support a cardiologist's daughter and still afford to lay about!

It takes money to make money. By that I mean a lot of the doctors come from old money families. They can afford to send their kids to school, often times over seas and the t-i-t really never gets removed from the mouth in this culture. So kids get showered with momy and dady's money over their life time, while the parents expect the same treatment during their elderly years.

So yes the MDs give the appearence of being extremely wealthy, while they probably are, it is not fully due to their jobs at the hospital.

50K is around 5 -7 times the average earnings of a bachelored degreed individual in Thailand.

[fanciman]

I don't know what it is about this forum, but I am always very pleasantly reminded of how highly articulate, witty, insightful and experienced the members are here.

This thread has several examples. i don't need to mention your names. You know who you are, and basking quietly in the warm glow of your waggish posts.

To return to the thrust, consider the modern, liberated woman. Britney Spears, for example, though she is not a physician, she is well known and wealthy. She is not unique in being a financially independent young lady, who dispenses with the need of a partner pretty rapidly. Many movie stars are the same. Particularly after they have become pregnant, they no longer wish to "put up with" a husband. They can afford to get rid of them and do so.

So, what about these wealthy, often big breasted, young female physicians? They have a great career, can support themselves, but have anxiety that they would not be doing the right thing by their children in staying at work rather than taking care of the kids at home.

A stay-at-home dad could do that sort of thing far better than some CEO who is running a corportation most of the time.

I haven't noticed a trend in my direction though.

Perhaps I could explain myself as being dedicated to meditation. And in a way...

Anyway, I could see myself as a home-maker, supporting them in their career, sacrificing my own. I could follow their career moves as they are required. I certainly don't have entitlement to 50% of the family assets at the front of my mind, that is for sure. I would be very happy to ask them how their day was when they came home, and to have some food ready.

I think I could learn to manage the household staff too, after a while.

Edited December 29, 2007 by fanciman

[bina]

could be that most women, even if they stay at home and even if they have a maid, are still doing THINGS where as men sit at home scratching their sack and well, SITTING at home...

even the spoiled thai women that i've met here still do things at home even if it involves mini courses in baby yoga where as a man in the same situation could be found sitting in the salon from dawn to dusk so when hpf comes home, she still has to do food, take care of... fill in the blank for whatever household situation that has arisen.. etc...

most stay at home dads are less efficient as house dads... sitting seems to distract them...

on saying that, my own thai husband, while unemployed, did keep himself busy thankfully in taking apart washing machines and fixing them, and cooking. he also did the laundry until i prevented him from ever doing my and kids clothing again (synthetics with cotton, colour with white), washed the floor, and greeted me with a smile when i came home... but it did irritate me to come home and find him SITTING (i.e. means, sitting in front of the tv eating sunflower seeds scratching his danglies... ) ... hard to catch a stay at home woman SITTING...

women do not get a manly surge of pride when coming home from a hard day of work finding hubby sitting and doing nothing...ti makes our hair stand on end. men however, seem to feel a surge of 'i am taking care of her - here beat on breast like tarzan- when they come home and find wifey dressed, pressed and everything clean and neat....

so id u are a stay at home person, i hope u know how to cook, clean, organize, drive the kids to after school activities... etc.... and still look presentable at the end of the day....

bina

[Dakhar]

so id u are a stay at home person, i hope u know how to cook, clean, organize, drive the kids to after school activities... etc.... and still look presentable at the end of the day....

Bina failed to mention, women have a choice. Women get to decide if they work or not.... men on the other hand, are born and raised up with the notion that they must get a job and provide. The modern notion for women has changed, they now have a choice, stay at home, finding menial things to fill their day, shoping, watching soaps, telling the maid what to do etc.... or work.

Men... no such choice, work and more work that is it. So yea, when men get a chance to relax, they do so, many time sitting around holding their curse in their hands.

[bina]

Women get to decide if they work or not.... men on the other hand, are born and raised up with the notion that they must get a job and provide

really. and what century were u born in? or culture?

where i was raised by new york jewish parents living in wash d.c. of the 1970-1980's, and where i live now (a still very much original style kibbutz) i did not have a choice. i worked. from age 14 on, my parents raised us with the idea that we are individuals and no one is supposed to support us; on kibbutz, women work the same as men, just in the end, women are the ones that still come home and do the typically women role things.... so when my (now ex) would come home after 12 hour days in the fields, he could sit and do whatever and i still went to the kindergarten birthday parties things, and took kids to their ballet and pta meetings and did dishes and cooked if i wanted to (kibbutz has dining room) and did the house and went to visit my young kids in the childcare during the day, and stayed home when they were sick . i also worked 12 hour days outdoors and was equally tired. but a woman's work is never done. it had never occurred to me that women stay at home unless they are ill or have some problem with getting a job... my ex was raised on kibbutz and his role models certainly werent that the male supports the female as everyone is considered individually responsible for his/her self, and frankly ive never heard that either...

its just a woman vs. man thing. women like to busy themselves with doing things, men just dont. hunting or resting vs. hearth and home and dual tasking ....

as a matter of fact, i have women friends that wanted to get a wife, not because of their sexual preference (def. male oriented) but for the ability of women to do things... ; men, in their eyes were good for only one thing: the same thing my billy goat does so well: laze around and chew his cud...

)

bina

[yorkman]

could be that most women, even if they stay at home and even if they have a maid, are still doing THINGS where as men sit at home scratching their sack and well, SITTING at home...

even the spoiled thai women that i've met here still do things at home even if it involves mini courses in baby yoga where as a man in the same situation could be found sitting in the salon from dawn to dusk so when hpf comes home, she still has to do food, take care of... fill in the blank for whatever household situation that has arisen.. etc...

most stay at home dads are less efficient as house dads... sitting seems to distract them...

on saying that, my own thai husband, while unemployed, did keep himself busy thankfully in taking apart washing machines and fixing them, and cooking. he also did the laundry until i prevented him from ever doing my and kids clothing again (synthetics with cotton, colour with white), washed the floor, and greeted me with a smile when i came home... but it did irritate me to come home and find him SITTING (i.e. means, sitting in front of the tv eating sunflower seeds scratching his danglies... ) ... hard to catch a stay at home woman SITTING...

women do not get a manly surge of pride when coming home from a hard day of work finding hubby sitting and doing nothing...ti makes our hair stand on end. men however, seem to feel a surge of 'i am taking care of her - here beat on breast like tarzan- when they come home and find wifey dressed, pressed and everything clean and neat....

so id u are a stay at home person, i hope u know how to cook, clean, organize, drive the kids to after school activities... etc.... and still look presentable at the end of the day....

bina

:D Nicely put Bina,

Just an excuse for a lazy person who has no idea what contribution to marriage is. In my arrangement we both work, both clean the house and both clean (our) kids a**se if little.

Get a grip, unless you want divorce inside 2 years

Crikey, looking up. this sounds like marriage councelling advice inside Thailand or elsewhere

[jetjock]

I used to date a gynecologist in Bangkok about five years ago. She was a stunningly beautiful girl and very dedicated to her work but she had to put in many hours each work so had little energy and time left to play. I used to tease her and tell her that I would be happy to give her a helping hand to ease her workload. She was really a wonderful girl but I quit taking her out as over a period of time, I realized her lifestyle was not that of someone with whom I would want to spend the rest of my life.

I think one of the real answers to your question is that the great majority of women (regardless if they are from Thailand or any other country) tend to want to marry equals or higher in both the education and money department. On the other hand, I think most guys put beauty, body and being a good shag higher up on this list.

[britmaveric]

Normally these types for the most part marry someone who is on their level. So having a house husband prob isnt what they have in mind.

[Theyreallrubbish]

I went to medical school and so have spent time with high powered women as my class was about 50% female and the hospitals had women doctors who were a few years older.

It may not be politically correct, but very few of these women were contemplating marrying a man of lower achievement than themselves as they were not planning to work full time for their entire life. At some point they intended to have children and switch to part time work for a number of years. Even at age 22 they knew this.

An additional factor is they just couldn't respect men that weren't as intelligent, hard working and successful as they were which limited their dating pool to mainly other doctors. They'd date a few guys doing other courses while we were at university, but these relationships gradually diminished over the years until by the final year almost all relationships were between classmates or up or down a year.

Us guys had a much wider dating pool as we'd bang anything that was fit. Going to nightclubs and telling a secretary you're a final year med student wasn't as successful as you'd might think though as they seemed to know that we weren't going to be happy having a long term relationship with them and were just planning to F&C them, so even the guys ended up having their long term relationships with classmates.

Haven't kept up with my classmates so I'm not sure how many ended up marrying co-workers (i.e. other doctors) but when I meet married doctors they mostly are married to other doctors.

[teacup]

Ok I will let you in the secret

You must be….

-Equal or better status than her (financially, academically, ect)

-Be ready to have a few “little fanciman” at a moment notice (her biological clock is ticking)

-Must be “socially” acceptable by her peers, family, and thai society in general

-Be able to take a role of “a trophy husband”, someone she can show off to her friends, and family – having a big big face. Someone she can be proud of and others will be full of envy.(oh yeah, esp this part!)

And

Two other things she's not particular looking for are.....a maid and a doormat.

Be able to….talk sexy, walk sexy, and smell sexy are not required, however still looking sexy after the light comes on…. is a must!

Good luck

Edited December 29, 2007 by teacup

[fanciman]

I really must rush in here to re-emphasise that a proneness to laying around the house all day is simply no grounds for assuming that I, or indeed others of my ilk, are uneducated and in fact incapable of other pursuits.

I am a talented person, in my way; lovely and talented. I may have a promising career before me, but feel it if one person must make the sacrifice, it should be me.

Would not that capacity for self-sacrifice not be found deeply attractive in women of such calibre? Isn't it what they normally complain about, when discussing their relationships?

[Dakhar]

really. and what century were u born in? or culture?

where i was raised by new york jewish parents living in wash d.c. of the 1970-1980's, and where i live now (a still very much original style kibbutz) i did not have a choice. i worked. from age 14 on, my parents raised us with the idea that we are individuals and no one is supposed to support us; on kibbutz, women work the same as men, just in the end, women are the ones that still come home and do the typically women role things.... so when my (now ex) would come home after 12 hour days in the fields, he could sit and do whatever and i still went to the kindergarten birthday parties things, and took kids to their ballet and pta meetings and did dishes and cooked if i wanted to (kibbutz has dining room) and did the house and went to visit my young kids in the childcare during the day, and stayed home when they were sick . i also worked 12 hour days outdoors and was equally tired. but a woman's work is never done. it had never occurred to me that women stay at home unless they are ill or have some problem with getting a job... my ex was raised on kibbutz and his role models certainly werent that the male supports the female as everyone is considered individually responsible for his/her self, and frankly ive never heard that either...

Well,

I was not born or raised in such a culture as yours. More of a modern day main stream environment that probably resembles more of the real world, than some religious encampment.