English Teachers Only Get Stuck With Bar Girls?

[Nemesis]

English teacher's salaries at most government schools here in LOS, are not enuf to support a steady girlfriend, never mind a family. Certainly not enough to provide for the usual expenses, such as a car and a savings account.

Most Thai women know this. That is why we rarely see a middle-class to upper-middle class Thai woman interested in a foreign teacher as a possible marriage partner.

What we usually see is desparate farang English teachers asking other forum members if they should marry the bar girl they just fell in love with at first sight. Never mind that they would never marry a bar fly back home, that would be too far beneath them. But come to a mostly third world country and the only women remotely interested in an English teacher, in general, are lower class uneducated bar girls. It's then the same story. Lonely desparate man meets lonely desparate low class woman. They fall in "love." Get married. Live togetehr a few months or maybe even years. Then, with nothing in common,and the sex getting routine, things fall apart. If he's lucky, she doesn't take everythig he has including his manhood for duck food.

Or we read about the exploits of the newly arrived small head "thinking" potential English teacher wanting to take advantage of the low class women available. We then are treated to tales of the many and varied exploits of the young stud.

What we don't hear much about are English teachers marrying decent Thai women and raising a family.

Where I live now, the bar girls aren't even interested in English teachers, because the steady influx of foreigners can out compete financially with any teacher and will gladly do so to get laid. Buy the young missus a mobile phone, clothes, take her out for something other than noodles or rice for dinner, and even to a five star hotel club and to his air cond hotel room or condo for after hours activities.

How can an English teacher compete with that?

I get tired of hearing about how good English teachers have it here in Thailand. The bottom line is we are used by Thai people to educate their young people but basically the better off Thai don't want anything to do with us and considered us low class because, frankly, that's what we are in Thai society.

[falong]

English teacher's salaries at most government schools here in LOS, are not enuf to support a steady girlfriend, never mind a family. Certainly not enough to provide for the usual expenses, such as a car and a savings account.

Most Thai women know this. That is why we rarely see a middle-class to upper-middle class Thai woman interested in a foreign teacher as a possible marriage partner.

What we usually see is desparate farang English teachers asking other forum members if they should marry the bar girl they just fell in love with at first sight. Never mind that they would never marry a bar fly back home, that would be too far beneath them. But come to a mostly third world country and the only women remotely interested in an English teacher, in general, are lower class uneducated bar girls. It's then the same story. Lonely desparate man meets lonely desparate low class woman. They fall in "love." Get married. Live togetehr a few months or maybe even years. Then, with nothing in common,and the sex getting routine, things fall apart. If he's lucky, she doesn't take everythig he has including his manhood for duck food.

Or we read about the exploits of the newly arrived small head "thinking" potential English teacher wanting to take advantage of the low class women available. We then are treated to tales of the many and varied exploits of the young stud.

What we don't hear much about are English teachers marrying decent Thai women and raising a family.

Where I live now, the bar girls aren't even interested in English teachers, because the steady influx of foreigners can out compete financially with any teacher and will gladly do so to get laid. Buy the young missus a mobile phone, clothes, take her out for something other than noodles or rice for dinner, and even to a five star hotel club and to his air cond hotel room or condo for after hours activities.

How can an English teacher compete with that?

I get tired of hearing about how good English teachers have it here in Thailand. The bottom line is we are used by Thai people to educate their young people but basically the better off Thai don't want anything to do with us and considered us low class because, frankly, that's what we are in Thai society.

You're a warped individual.

[Nemesis]

Quite a low class ad hominem reply. Care to refute my allegations with something other than a personal attack?

[bkk barney]

nems i got to agree with a lot of ur post there, but h.ell phil seems to have done alright,(female wise not financially) although im not sure whether marko can marry his other half, but dont forget u r very negative towards women in general.

ps, nems your an english teacher, so how u doing women wise so to speak? u getting any?

[Nemesis]

If I'm not mistaken, Phil hasn't been married that long, and secondly, he's not just an English teacher is he? extisting on 25,000 baht a month.

Not negative toward women in general. Negative toward feminists in general and rightly so I believe.

[bkkmadness]

The bottom line is we are used by Thai people to educate their young people but basically the better off Thai don't want anything to do with us and considered us low class because, frankly, that's what we are in Thai society.

I think in the UK and a lot of other places upper class people will use lower class people to educate there children and don't want anything to do with them as well. Class systems are in all countrys. Used by the Thai higher classes, lol, people are used by higher classes all over the world.

What we don't hear much about are English teachers marrying decent Thai women and raising a family.

Where I live now, the bar girls aren't even interested in English teachers

I think the problem here is you want to marry a decent girl from a decent class and if not, then your shocked about even the bargirls not liking you.

What about the nomal decent girls who you see out there everyday? The ones that don't want loads of cash, or to keep a husband from the same privelaged background, the shopworkers, secetarys, everyday workers that are in a similar class here to what you would be back home.

The middle class that don't want to marry you because you are not from the same class as them don't sound very decent to me, they sound like idiots, eyes closed and no real love to them. The bargirls that only go for the farang with the most money are the same. Both sound like girls I wouldn't want to touch with a bargepole.

You know as shocking, as it may seem, as I see so many people talking about money everytime they mention their gf and thai women on this forum, they're are genuine girls out there who like you and love you just for being you, surely it's they who you should be looking for?

A summary of your post:

Most Thai women know this. That is why we rarely see a middle-class to upper-middle class Thai woman interested in a foreign teacher as a possible marriage partner.

golddiggers, hiso? who cares about them.

But come to a mostly third world country and the only women remotely interested in an English teacher, in general, are lower class uneducated bar girls.

Not at all true, they should get out more.

What we don't hear much about are English teachers marrying decent Thai women and raising a family.

Happens all the time, if by decent you mean good hearted, good personilty etc.

Doesn't happy all the time if you consider decent Thai women to come from only middle class familes, but then this would make you snobbish right?

the bar girls aren't even interested in English teachers

golddiggers, again who cares about them.

How can an English teacher compete with that?

Why would you want to compete with tourists for prostitutes?

All in all I think you have a blind view on Thai women, and should get out and open your eyes more. Maybe the girl in 7/11 wants a date sometime?

[IBMOPERATIONS]

I'm married to a Thai girl...only been one year but she couldn't really care less how much money I earn...neither of us are rich...but we are very happy together.

I think your too concerned with the financial and not enough with the personality.

Money is an eveil necessity I guess! shouldn't get in the way of relationships though!

[davethailand]

Alot of the bg's have an aim which is to survive. not to be with someone who can't provide for them!

I don't blame them for this!

[Flummoxed]

While I agree with you post, my girl is ex bar girl and she is insisting that I get a job as an English teacher so that we can stay together in Thailand, stating that the salary would be more than enough for us to get by. I decline as I want a higher standard of living when I am there.

Would you describe my girl as a gold digger now?

[bkkmadness]

I'd never describe every bargirl as a golddigger, but the first poster was on about the ones who would not be interested in a english teacher but the richer farang that come here, they are of course golddiggers, and fair dues to them if that's how they want to be or have to be.

If a bargirl is good hearted decent girl then in my opinion she can stand in the same class of anybody who was lucky to have been born richer.

The girl you got that wants you to stay here and is ok with you earning leslittle as long as your together sounds like shes got a lot of heart for you bruv, well done to you.

[wamberal]

Flummoxed,

Don't take any notice of the bilious nonsense posted here about bar girls. I lived in Thailand for several years as a bachelor, and went to quite a few bars, and met quite a few girls. It is wrong to generalise on either side of the argument, but I met a number of girls who had been married, some had had a child, and then their marriage broke up, leaving them as "soiled goods", probably unable to marry again in Thai culture, but facing the problem of supporting themselves.

I would say that the majority of bar girls are in the business out of economic necessity. I would not judge them on moral grounds.........are the women involved in this business less moral than their male customers?

Some years ago there was a bar on the corner of soi 19 called the Country and Western Bar. A number of the girls there married farangs, they were nice, pleasant kids, usually married before, and none the less attractive for that.

Take people as you find them, including bar-girls, and treat all people the way you would like to be treated. Can't go too far wrong, in my opinion.

[Up2U]

nems i got to agree with a lot of ur post there, but h.ell phil seems to have done alright,(female wise not financially) although im not sure whether marko can marry his other half, but dont forget u r very negative towards women in general.

ps, nems your an english teacher, so how u doing women wise so to speak? u getting any?

BKK Barney - how can Nemesis be an English teacher when he cannot spell 'enough'?

A 'strine' teacher maybe, or american, but never is 'enuf' English.

[falong]

Quite a low class ad hominem reply. Care to refute my allegations with something other than a personal attack?

Where is the human element in these relationships? Is it all about class and money? Warped!

[Nemesis]

I think the problem here is you want to marry a decent girl from a decent class and if not, then your shocked about even the bargirls not liking you.

Several wrong assumptions: One, that I have a "problem." Two, that I want to marry, three that I am shocked, four that you think 'even the bar girls" don't like me.

All I have done is write about an observation.

[Nemesis]

BKK Barney - how can Nemesis be an English teacher when he cannot spell 'enough'?

.......are not enuf to support a steady girlfriend, never mind a family. Certainly not enough to provide for the usual expenses, such as a car and a savings account.

Choosing to spell a word diff in a post is what you picked out of the entire post to comment on? Although it was obvious to even a third grade English reader that the writer knows how to spell enough?

Do you know what a nit picker is?

[Nemesis]

Maybe the girl in 7/11 wants a date sometime?

The very last line in your rather long post helped make my point.

What are the odds that the "girl in 7/11" is an educated middle to upper middle class girl, never mind an upper class girl?

Would you date a girl from 7/11 from your home country? If not, why would you date one here? The answer is because few middle to upper class women are interested in a low salaried English teacher.

The point I'm trying to make is this: regardless of all the wai kru bullshit, we English teachers are considered lower class workers in Thai society. We can't even afford a car on our salary and yet the number of new cars on the road in Thailand in nothing short of phenomenal. And please don't tell me about how we make more money than Thai English teachers. They all drive cars.

I'm not too dense to recognize that there are a few decent Thai woman that would marry for "love." However, women are basically the same the world over. Why should they settle for a low paying English teacher on a rice and noodle salary when there are many other options available?

[penelope]

I'm not in the teaching industry, so I can't comment on the social dynamics involved, but might I postulate that it is entirely possible an upper class girl might date a young, chiselled ,drop-dead handsome, brad pitt esque, super hunk, english teacher as opposed to some filthy, old, fat, smelly, bald slob with a few more G Notes in his wallet ???

[Nemesis]

Which category are you assuming I fit in?

[penelope]

Which category are you assuming I fit in?

I have no idea .

[Savage]

You let yourself get looked down upon. I teach and I feel you're only as low as you let people make you feel (but I don't really feel people try to make make me feel low) .

But then again would you want your kids to be taught by someone who hangs out in Nana plaza everynight trying to scab free sex off hookers?

I've met teachers who are just unbelievable, sweating chang, smell of cigarettes, no qualifications.

The question is would these guys be able to pull pussy in their own country? Hold on would they even be able to even get a job?! It's no wonder if you fall into this category then people will shun you.

It's all about how you carry yourself. I go into work everyday without alcohol or cigarettes on my breath, I'm already awake, I wear a nicely ironed and fresh shirt, shaved and ready to go (well prepared). If you can't get this right just forget about respect.

I'm married to a girl who has her own car and house and is a partner and head of marketing for a shipping company. You don't have to be Brad Pitt (I certainly am not) but then i'm not an alcoholic, sweaty idiot that in most places in the world would be considered a monster!

[Nemesis]

You let yourself get looked down upon.

Wrong assumption my friend. I don't let myself be looked down upon. My comments are about what the Thais think about English teachers in general. Not all Thais of course for you literalists, but most of middle to upper class Thai society, especially Chinese/Thais.

[igotworms]

25,000 to 35,000 Baht per month is by no means considered low class in Thailand. I would say upper middle class. I know many farang teachers with Thai girlfriends and wives. Most of them come from middle class families.

Elite Thai families likely want their children to marry their own so to speak, however I'm sure thats not the case across the board. I don't see a point in this post at all. My Thai gf comes from a middle-class family, and at the moment makes morey than me. I think its great.

Its not a monetary thing. Its a compatability thing. Shared values, language, education and attraction are essential for relationships. I would have no problem having a 7/11 girl as a girlfriend if we were compatible. However, most of these girls have limited English, and my Thai is much worse. Thus we are not compatible. I gave it a shot once.

[sleir]

I, as a traveller (one of these filthy creatures that never shower, sleep at holes for a 100 bht and get free sex ) had a high class gf...(upper would be understated) not sure if most thais look down on you as long as you don't ... and

know how to behave and dress a bit of course..

my 2 cents,,

sleir

[meadish_sweetball]

Live and let live. What many farang don't realize is that they sometimes get treated a lot better than local people.

People make their own choices - if you shower regularly and show due respect to the people around you, and don't run after other girls, sooner or later a girl from the upper echelons of Thai society will think that is a refreshing enough change and become interested, if that's what you want.

You are unlikely to change any attitudes within the Chinese Thai community, and why bother since you don't seem to like them anyway?

The fact that your appearance, body language and general perceptions differ from the Thai (and Chinese) mainstream ensures some people will be scared of you, some will feel uncomfortable around you, and some will show a despising attitude. Just let it slide and go about your business.

[bkkmadness]

QUOTE (bkkmadness @ Sun 2004-09-05, 19:24:02)

I think the problem here is you want to marry a decent girl from a decent class and if not, then your shocked about even the bargirls not liking you.

Several wrong assumptions: One, that I have a "problem." Two, that I want to marry, three that I am shocked, four that you think 'even the bar girls" don't like me.

All I have done is write about an observation.

Sorry boss, wasn't meaning to make it personal, just my bad writing style.

Change anything saying 'you' into 'english teachers' and you get my jist.

The very last line in your rather long post helped make my point.

What are the odds that the "girl in 7/11" is an educated middle to upper middle class girl, never mind an upper class girl?

My point was who cares what class she's in, if she's a buzzin girl and likes you, take her out.

Would you date a girl from 7/11 from your home country?

Yeah I would.

If not, why would you date one here? The answer is because few middle to upper class women are interested in a low salaried English teacher.

As Savage said, they are out there:

I'm married to a girl who has her own car and house and is a partner and head of marketing for a shipping company. You don't have to be Brad Pitt (I certainly am not) but then i'm not an alcoholic, sweaty idiot that in most places in the world would be considered a monster!

Theres a success story for you.

Again, got to ask, what's the point in this post really? I always see Farang come here, first it's the bargirls, then they think they are too good for them and spend all their time trying to get an impressive white skinned, chinese thai girl from the middle class family, almost like the fashion thing, are they trying to say

"my gf is not a prostitute, I'm not like the rest of you, my gf has a car, posh family, chinese thai etc., honest, I'm higher than you kee nok farang" hahaha.

That wasn't directed at you by the way Savage, just saying a lot of farang really do like to show off there gfs financial, and familys financial position like an accessory.

Am I old fashioned at 27 to think love is love?

Its not a monetary thing. Its a compatability thing. Shared values, language, education and attraction are essential for relationships.

EXACTLY!!!

[duke69]

everyone can teach English to Asian people!!

Where is the added value? So many English/American Australian who want to piss off from their country and get easy life in LOS ......

What can they do?? Nothing!! Just speak 2 words of English.

They think that this is enough, they pack their dreams and come to Thailand!!

.... but too many fellow Angler did the same in the same time and the salary reflects this: 25,000/35,000 Baht per month is about the salary of a good secretary, so VERY LOW CLASS.

But indeed if you are low class, be happy to get paid for what you're.

BG: if the BG is still young to choose the possible partner be sure not to be at the top of her list, may be you have to stuck to an "older model with some thousands miles on the engine / p u ss y" and you can get your dreamed BG too.

[sleir]

didn't want to show off either, honestly !

[bkk barney]

actually i got to agree with nems first post, my galfriend is a teacher and she ended up with me, a drunken philandering farang, still im never unfaithfull more than twice per week as im getting older now so she should really consider herself quite lucky

[meemiathai]

You let yourself get looked down upon.

Wrong assumption my friend. I don't let myself be looked down upon. My comments are about what the Thais think about English teachers in general. Not all Thais of course for you literalists, but most of middle to upper class Thai society, especially Chinese/Thais.

What is your problem then?

Bkkmadness said it(2 very nice posts) very clearly already. Who cares about those kind of people? Even if 100%(which I don't think so) of the so-called middle/upper class Thais are looking for rich guys only, it would not affect me a bit. I would just go and look for love from poorer people! Or is it that you are just the same and you are looking for someone who is rich?

[meemiathai]

Am I old fashioned at 27 to think love is love?

Amazed me! So young! You sounded like at least 35+!

Old fashioned? No!

Glad to see there are young people who think properly with open-minds!