How To Tell Someone You're Not Gay...

[rainman]

okay, funny situation.

one of my best guy friends is openly gay and lately has been trying to hit on me, especially when there have been a few too many drinks. to make a long story short, while i have nothing against gays, i'm straighter than the average straight guy. this may sound weird, but i can't find a 'good' way to tell him to "back off". anyone got suggestions? i know i can just walk up to him and say "hey look, i'm not gay so quit hitting on me", but i dont know if thats the appropriate approach. maybe i'm just too nice to say that.

[davethailand]

just tell him straight, "I'm not a bandit" or "I'm not a brown hatter"

[PvtDick]

I'd think something along the lines of "listen, I'm flattered, but I'm really only into chicks" would probably get the message across gently.

[Boon Mee]

If the Poofter has any couth at all, he'd pick up on the Vibe that you're not a "Turd Burgler" like himself. If he dosen't get the "message", tell him flat out you ain't no Wolly Woofter and you'd appreciate it if he'd back off or <deleted> off!

[Tornado]

Just tell him that your not interested and if that does not work, smash his face in with a roof tile

then again your could just say NO, I did that with 12 call, he has since stopped sending those naked photos of himself

[splitlid]

arrrrr..our suspicions are confirmed.

Rainman,....gay guys have a sixth sense when it comes to seeking out other gays.

THEY KNOW!!!!!!!

so just come out the closet and give your mate a big wet kiss.

youll feel much better,and your girlfriend will finally understand why you are always dressing her up in that Cowboy outfit.

[butt_trumpet]

maybe stop throwing darts and stay out of boyz town

[Boon Mee]

Just tell him that your not interested and if that does not work, smash his face in with a roof tile 

then again your could just say NO, I did that with 12 call, he has since stopped sending those naked photos of himself 

I heard Basher is looking for naked pictures of Georgie - any truth to that?

[fatter than harry]

I have some.

http://www.georgeinleather.com

Rainman,....gay guys have a sixth sense when it comes to seeking out other gays.

They call it Gaydar.

[Wolfie]

In the middle of the pub, when your surrounded by his gay friends just look him straight in the eye and say...

"I'm awefully sorry, old boy, but i dont bat from the pavillion end!"

He will instantly understand and never hit on you again.

[Ijustwannateach]

I take it this thread wasn't started in the gay forum because you wanted slagging rather than serious answers?

Assuming the original poster might possibly want a serious answer, here some questions to think about:

1. Is he really "hitting" on you, or is it just more physical affection than you're used to from men? Remember that we're in a non-homophobic environment here in Thailand, and your mate [if he's well-adjusted] won't see the "danger zones" in touching other guys the same way you necessarily do- particularly with regard to arms around shoulders, touching hands, and other things that may seem to him to be "no big deal." If this is the issue, perhaps you're just wound up a bit too tight- in any case, though your friend may comply with your requests not to touch him a certain way, he'll probably see it as making a mountain out of a molehill.

2. If he IS really hitting on you (touching blatantly taboo zones, attempting to kiss, declaring obviously inappropriate desires), is he already dating someone? Reminding him of this may bring him back down to Earth even if he's a few sheets to the wind.

3. If he's hitting on you and not dating anyone else- why ISN'T he dating someone else? Where are you guys doing your drinking- a straight bar where they only person who might sympathize with his feelings is you? Why don't you go drinking once in a while in a gay bar where he'll have other folks to pay attention to?

4. If none of these suggestions help and he's still hitting on you, he may have feelings for you that he keeps buried except when alcohol lowers his inhibitions. In that case, the mature thing is for both of you to talk about it. Assuming you're a sensitive guy, think of it as if a woman friend you were not attracted to were hitting on you. You value the friendship but the attraction from her can't work. You should bring this out into the open when both of you are sober- calmly, clearly, and sympathetically (he is a friend, after all). Let him know that you think he's attracted to you, that it can't work, and that you've felt uncomfortable with behaviors A, B, and C. Tell him you value his friendship, but that his behavior is putting a strain on things. Let him express his feelings, reassert your position, and go on with things. If things improve, great. If not, you may have to decide to distance yourself until this guy gets a steady boyfriend to fall in love with.

Name calling or defensively/homophobically asserting your "straightness" would not be appropriate, IMHO. Good luck and I hope things go well with both of you.

"Steven"

[Boon Mee]

In the middle of the pub, when your surrounded by his gay friends just look him straight in the eye and say...

"I'm awefully sorry, old boy, but i dont bat from the pavillion end!"

He will instantly understand and never hit on you again.

But what if he's a Yank? That statement maybe too obtuse for him.

[butt_trumpet]

Why don't you go drinking once in a while in a gay bar where he'll have other folks to pay attention to?

that is real smart, suggest a gay bar...idiot

rainman, just <deleted>' tell him that you aren't comfortable with guys touching you, end of story.

[fatter than harry]

Operation NOT GAY

You could invite him round to your place for a nice dinner, soft lights (candles might be better) some Enya or Enigma on the stereo.

After the main course you can cut your cock and balls off and serve them to him on a plate, that would kill a few birds with one stone, the shock might be enough to rouse him from his whole 'forgetting you're not gay' thing, it would definately promote the idea that you weren't a 'giver', although it could be construed that you were sending subliminal messages as a 'taker' - you could counter this by slamming a hammer into your dessert offering and shouting 'Satan is my keeper!' at the top of your voice, at this point I'd exchange the Enya or Enigma cd for something with a bit more gusto, some speed metal should do the trick. Chuckle to yourself on a job well done as he runs from your bleeding, mutilated body screaming like a banshee.

Or you could just tell him you're not gay.

[davethailand]

This is definatley the topic of the week.

"Butt Trumpet" wins the best member name prize.

I'll sum it up.

if he does'nt get the message politely, either get yourself a bird so he see's your obviously not into shirt lifters or smack him one.

[rainman]

arrrrr..our suspicions are confirmed.

Rainman,....gay guys have a sixth sense when it comes to seeking out other gays.

THEY KNOW!!!!!!!

so just come out the closet and give your mate a big wet kiss.

youll feel much better,and your girlfriend will finally understand why you are always dressing her up in that Cowboy outfit.

like i said, while i have nothing against gays, i'm the un-gayest thing to ever walk this planet. he does in fact have a long-time boyfriend. either way, i think i'll just tell him i prefer taco to sausage.

[Wolfie]

like i said, while i have nothing against gays, i'm the un-gayest thing to ever walk this planet. he does in fact have a long-time boyfriend. either way, i think i'll just tell him i prefer taco to sausage.

Your obviously in denial Rainman... just look at your avatar

Dont mention the taco thing, thats gay slang for "im the biggest gay in the world"

[davethailand]

like i said, while i have nothing against gays, i'm the un-gayest thing to ever walk this planet.  he does in fact have a long-time boyfriend. either way, i think i'll just tell him i prefer taco to sausage. 

Your obviously in denial Rainman... just look at your avatar

Dont mention the taco thing, thats gay slang for "im the biggest gay in the world"

[Ijustwannateach]

You know, for straight guys, y'all sure do have campy ways of dealing with a situation...

[Boon Mee]

You know, for straight guys, y'all sure do have campy ways of dealing with a situation...

What the heck does "Campy" mean?

[Ijustwannateach]

"campy"="not straight/macho"

Like when drag queens are 'camping' it up. Or when sporty guys are slapping each other on their butts in an effort to seem comradely and macho. I think this delight in making up names to call gay guys reveals an aaaaaaaaaaaaawwwful lot of insecurity, IMHO...

[rainman]

I take it this thread wasn't started in the gay forum because you wanted slagging rather than serious answers?

Its a serious post, yes. Reason i didn't post it in the gay forum is because i didn't want possible responses that may be offensive to someone.

[Boon Mee]

"campy"="not straight/macho"

Like when drag queens are 'camping' it up.  Or when sporty guys are slapping each other on their butts in an effort to seem comradely and macho.  I think this delight in making up names to call gay guys reveals an aaaaaaaaaaaaawwwful lot of insecurity, IMHO...

Well, 90% of the terms bandied about here are British slang so tell the Poms onboard this Forum they're insecure!

[butt_trumpet]

rainman, tell him you get your underwear at kmart

[PvtDick]

I just love how the macho, back-slapping he-men around here just can't resist clicking on every thread with a gay twist to it. They probably also spend hours surfing gay porno sights just because they can't believe how "disgusting" sex between two men is. Right, guys!

[davethailand]

I just love how the macho, back-slapping he-men around here just can't resist clicking on every thread with a gay twist to it. They probably also spend hours surfing gay porno sights just because they can't believe how "disgusting" sex between two men is. Right, guys!

To be really honest,

Gay porn sites and gay pics, I've never seen two guys at it, to be honest i don't want to see it because i find it repulsive.

BUT !! before you all spit your dummies out, I still have some gay friends, and have nothing against them, what goes on in their private lives is up to them, i just don't want to see it.

[britmaveric]

Rainman- bring your lady with you next time. Make a point of showing your gay mate how much you love your woman. I think a nice snog would probably give him the message or he might think your bi!

[rainman]

Rainman- bring your lady with you next time. Make a point of showing your gay mate how much you love your woman. I think a nice snog would probably give him the message or he might think your bi!

He knows i have a g/f, that's the sad thing about it. I should just walk in with an 'Exit Only' sign on my butt, maybe that will send a hint.

[Padkapow Guy]

okay, funny situation.

one of my best guy friends is openly gay and lately has been trying to hit on me, especially when there have been a few too many drinks. to make a long story short, while i have nothing against gays, i'm straighter than the average straight guy. this may sound weird, but i can't find a 'good' way to tell him to "back off". anyone got suggestions? i know i can just walk up to him and say "hey look, i'm not gay so quit hitting on me", but i dont know if thats the appropriate approach. maybe i'm just too nice to say that.

who cares if its appropriate or not , tell him to bug off.

tell him any of the following

exit only

no surfing the brown wave

back door is closed and locked

you don't like butt hole surfers

your on the wrong side of the tracks

I am not a pinch hitter

your barking up the wrong tree.

that ship won't sail

[davethailand]

okay, funny situation. 

one of my best guy friends is openly gay and lately has been trying to hit on me, especially when there have been a few too many drinks. to make a long story short, while i have nothing against gays, i'm straighter than the average straight guy. this may sound weird, but i can't find a 'good' way to tell him to "back off". anyone got suggestions? i know i can just walk up to him and say "hey look, i'm not gay so quit hitting on me", but i dont know if thats the appropriate approach. maybe i'm just too nice to say that. 

who cares if its appropriate or not , tell him to bug off.

tell him any of the following

exit only

no surfing the brown wave

back door is closed and locked

you don't like butt hole surfers

your on the wrong side of the tracks

I am not a pinch hitter

your barking up the wrong tree.

that ship won't sail