Custody

[justaphase]

Can someone verify how the law stands with custody of children here?

I am married and want to know:

Do we have to meet 'face to face' to divorce.?

Can i refuse a divorce if i dont want to?

Will i get custody of our little girl according to the girl with father, boy with mother rule..?

Can i get the police to 'find' my wife if i cant and i want a divorce?

Dont want much, do i?

Thanks in advance.

Tony

[blizzard]

im assuming u farang and yr wif e thai.

best interest of kid to grow up thai sir. unless there r extenuating circumstances.

who is gonna get custody of you sir.................a little humour never hurts..............lol.

[Chris Lawrence]

The best interest is for the child? If parent unavailable then the parent that will love and nurture the child would be better. That may be in Thailand or another country.

[Travel2003]

The best interest is for the child? If parent unavailable then the parent that will love and nurture the child would be better. That may be in Thailand or another country.

True.

If the child is a mix of 2 nationalities.

The best parent, nomatter nationality should be the choice.

The Police will not look for the wife.

Contact a Private Det.

One of my (farang) colleagues had that problem.

[Globeliner]

im assuming u farang and yr wif e thai.

best interest of kid to grow up thai sir. unless there r extenuating circumstances.

who is gonna get custody of you sir.................a little humour never hurts..............lol.

Yes it can sometimes, especially when somebody like you tries to make themselves feel better by kicking someone when they're down.

[Monroe]

To the original post:

Both parties must be present during a divorce hearing. Also, a divorce may not be refused, but terms and conditions may be negotiated.

Custody of children should go to the better-suited party, though females generally fare better in this regard. Not to mention, from what I've gathered you're a foreign national and your wife is a Thai citizen--the odds are in her favor unless you can prove beyond reasonable doubt that she's unsuitable.

Before things escalate, I'd suggest you try to establish contact with your wife or her family.

If that fails, then consider going to the police. Just be warned, they may suspect the worst (double homicide in this situation); or, as this is Thailand, they may not care. Just keep your cool (much easier said than done).

Best of luck to your daughter; she's in for an interesting childhood.

Edited January 20, 2008 by Monroe

[blizzard]

you do need serious help sir. why come here looking for it? you sound a bit unstable yourself sir. if you believe you as a farang can better raise a thai child in los than a thai woman, then what can i say. thais do have different ways of doing things than us westerners.

so if yr ex beconmes a bargirl its her mothers fault. sir you do need lecturing! you prolly would blame me for yr misfortune if you could.

jeezus, where did this dubble homicide thing arise from. did op change his post?

you guys do realize that op has not said anything to the effect that his wife is a monster. just that she ran away from him. is that so unusual here?

Edited January 20, 2008 by blizzard

[Monroe]

you do need serious help sir. why come here looking for it? you sound a bit unstable yourself sir. if you believe you as a farang can better raise a thai child in los than a thai woman, then what can i say. thais do have different ways of doing things than us westerners.

so if yr ex beconmes a bargirl its her mothers fault. sir you do need lecturing! you prolly would blame me for yr misfortune if you could.

jeezus, where did this dubble homicide thing arise from. did op change his post?

you guys do realize that op has not said anything to the effect that his wife is a monster. just that she ran away from him. is that so unusual here?

Imagine the situation:

OP walks into a police station and says, "I haven't seen my wife and child in six weeks."

No punch line

You've made judgement without any real knowledge of the situation. He may very well be more suited than his wife to raise a child. Also, I don't see that any of the replies bashed his wife, so how are you getting that she's been called a monster?

[blizzard]

i said NO ONE IS SAYING WOMAN IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE OR UNABLE TO RAISE CHILD. please rereed my post.

all we know is lady no like man. he hasnt given us reason to tink he would be a better parent for kid.

Edited January 20, 2008 by blizzard

[Globeliner]

I think we should set up a separate 'Blizzard' bashing post.

[blizzard]

if you do . please keep bashing to something i said or wrote.

[Brigante7]

if you do . please keep bashing to something i said or wrote.

Blizzard, I hope you find your daughter and get har back safely.

[Globeliner]

To be perfectly honest with you I'm still trying to fathom out what you are saying, could you prehaps write in English, (don't think they have a spell check option here) and sum it up in a sentence (if possible) what you mean.

[Brigante7]

if you do . please keep bashing to something i said or wrote.

Blizzard, I hope you find your daughter and get har back safely.

Sorry justaphase, it's still early in the morning here and I'm still half asleep, I hope you get your daughter back safely.

[blizzard]

let me be polite. if op was a lawyer would you want him on your side?

[Monroe]

i said NO ONE IS SAYING WOMAN IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE OR UNABLE TO RAISE CHILD. please rereed my post.

all we know is lady no like man. he hasnt given us reason to tink he would be a better parent for kid.

Reread post, that's not what you said, though it may be what you intended to say.

I'm still stuck as to how you've surmised that the OP is unstable. Is it so unreasonable for a man to want to shape his progeny? Seems to me he's down on his luck and in a tight spot, so he came here to ask for advice.

Of course, 6 weeks was a long time to wait.

[Globeliner]

Can someone verify how the law stands with custody of children here?

I am married and want to know:

Do we have to meet 'face to face' to divorce.?

Can i refuse a divorce if i dont want to?

Will i get custody of our little girl according to the girl with father, boy with mother rule..?

Can i get the police to 'find' my wife if i cant and i want a divorce?

Dont want much, do i?

Thanks in advance.

Tony

To all posters that seem to have their heads in the clouds, above is the original post.

[Ted]

Lets get this back on track shall we, Tony has got a serious issue here.

If I was in a similar situation I personally would contact one of your wifes family (but I presume you have tried this already), get legal assistance and finally get a plane down to Phuket and start searching.

All the best to you and I hope you work this out. Keep us posted with how you get on.

[blizzard]

you guys do realize that op has not said anything to the effect that his wife is a monster. just that she ran away from him. is that so unusual here?

you guys are tuff! op is not saying wife is going to harm child or she is bonkers! just that he has misplaced her. im thinking op may be a bit looney by the questions he posted in his opening statement, thats all.

I COULD BE WRONG, AS USUAL WE DONT HAVE ALL TH IFO NEEDED TO MAKE WISE JUDGEMENTS.

[Globeliner]

let me be polite. if op was a lawyer would you want him on your side?

You seem to be darting left and right with your posts. Whatever you're on get off it.

To the OP, we have not heard anything from you, can you give us an update?

[blizzard]

how much you willing to pay trustworthys to walk everywhere to distribute your leaflets? and globey tinks im on something. in usa they put missing kids on milk cartons, maybe los has a similiar program.

Edited January 20, 2008 by blizzard

[yorkman]

Tony,

I think you have had the answers to your original post.

So is it now down to you just want to find her? Did she give a reason for leaving that sounded like she did not intend to return?

No need to share information that's too personal online, but you had concerns about the divorce thing.

What I am really saying is that if she wants to stay away from you that is her right isnt it? But if you think some harm may have come to her you have little option but to report her as missing

[ray08]

She only has her mother really. She is 46 and has nothing.

The best way to find her is through the mother , maybe you tried allready , but if you use investigators ,that would be where i would send them , for sure it will lead to her, you say you only want her back .

If it happened once it can easily happen again , contact a divorce lawyer and look at your options , do not know

Thai law , but if this can be established as a kidnapping of child by mother , law might be in your favour

all the best

[Wrong Turn]

im assuming u farang and yr wif e thai.

best interest of kid to grow up thai sir. unless there r extenuating circumstances.

who is gonna get custody of you sir.................a little humour never hurts..............lol.

Why better to grow up Thai? I can provide a better life for my daughter than my wife can.

I am no 'old man' and my daughter is only 4 months old. My wife ran away to Phuket with our little girl 6 weeks ago and i have not heard anything since. Her mother is there, working as a cook (maybe?) and she is presumably doing the same. She is not a bar-girl although I wouldnt be surprised if her mother drags her down that level.

I just have a couple of questions:

1. why did you get married?

2. why did you have a child?

3. what is your education level?

4. what is her education level?

Edited January 20, 2008 by Wrong Turn

[NordicMan]

..........

Help my guys. Phuket is firkin massive. I would'nt know where to start. Do you think i could get leaflets made and get some trustworthys to walk everywhere? What about and advert in the Phuket post? I realy dont have much cash because of the baby and a recent hospital visit has left me high and dry. I've contacted investigators but they say "where in Phuket is she?" Um.

.......

Tony, Phuket is NOT massive. It's just an island. Be glad that she didn't run off to bangkok.

As you say, you don't have much cash. An advert in Phuket post could be useful and cheap.

Do you reckon the mother works in a hotel? farang-restaurant? some small restaurant? sell food on the street?

If you are worried that she will work in a bar, there is actually a limited number of bars in Kata, Karon and Patong.

Are you able to take the time off to look for her, or are you required to be somewhere else (e.g. at work)?

Suggest you also speak with more investigators... just asking you where in Phuket she is, is not very clever. If you knew, you could have gone there yourself.

You have her mobile number... try calling her from someone else's phone. Try calling her from a landline somewhere. or from phone booth.

If you think she doesn't want to talk to you, get a thai person to call her number and pretend it's related to something else or just wrong number.

good luck

nm

[NordicMan]

Tony,

I think you have had the answers to your original post.

So is it now down to you just want to find her? Did she give a reason for leaving that sounded like she did not intend to return?

No need to share information that's too personal online, but you had concerns about the divorce thing.

What I am really saying is that if she wants to stay away from you that is her right isnt it? But if you think some harm may have come to her you have little option but to report her as missing

Yorkman, it isn't her right to just run off with their kid and disappear with no warning or explanation.

It is her right to sit down with Tony and explain that she does not want to be together anymore and discuss what to do with their kid, assets (if any), divorce, and future. and THEN walk away.

rgds

nm

Edited January 20, 2008 by NordicMan

[NordicMan]

I just have a couple of questions:

1. why did you get married?

2. why did you have a child?

3. what is your education level?

4. what is her education level?

Will these questions assist in finding the wife and kid, or are they just to satisfy your own curiosity?

[kennkate]

Hi Tony Sorry to read about your plight

But with regards to finding your wife and Daughter

Just a thought, have a few posters printed maybee 100 and Offer A reward

Could Just bring you the Information. Payment upon result. Make that quite clear on the poster

Best of Luck

Edited January 20, 2008 by kennkate

[Foggy Dew]

Hi Justaphase,

Your wife left you and went to her mother who you say has nothing for some reason.

We don’t need to know the reason.

If this reason is in your control then you need to address it, because finding her without addressing the reason she left will not bring her back.

If she left because her mother needs her or some such reason and this is outside your control then you need to find them and work with her and her mother to resolve whatever the situation is.

I am fairly sure that a farang not local to Phuket will have a hard time trying to track down a Thai woman who does not want to be found.

In your heart you will know why she left and if you can do something to change things.

Finding her without the reason she left being resolved will not lead to a long term solution.

I lost my first marriage by not really listing to the problems my then wife had and I kept on doing what I thought was right for us and did not try to change until it was too late.

Good luck

Foggy Dew

[Cipher]

Hi Tony:

I am sorry for all your trouble and felt compelled to give you some advice based on my experiences. Understand, we have not walked the same road, so my take on things might not relate to your situation exactly, but I hope it gets close.

In Thailand you need to “Play the Percentages” as they relate to Thailand. They say that the most hazardous part of any airline flight, is the drive to the airport. So, before my reply gets hit with Hate Mail, let me state up front, that this is just the percentages of outcome and exceptions can and do occur.

IN THAILAND:

1) You have no rights

2) If you do not speak fluent Thai, there is a 99% chance you will get screwed

3) When you ask for assistance, you will find many experts that say they can help you. In fact, they are only interested in helping themselves to your money.

4) Your greatest asset is the fact that you are English and have a chance of being rich

I was once married to an alcoholic (9-years) and thought that I could help her get clean…I could not. I would stay up nights scared of what might be happening to her. Pictures of her being help captive as some kind of Sex Slave would fill my head. The truth of the matter was that she was having a great time drinking with her friends and would come home when the money run out or the Hang Over got too bad.

I know it is easy to die in Thailand, but people do not die easy anywhere. The probability of her coming to harm is close to zero, so there is no need to worry for her life. As her mother knows her daughter is married to a Farang, she knows that you are good for money and support. Your wife might also become eligible for a British Passport, which is very desirable.

I want you to ask yourself these questions:

1) What kind of woman would run off without letting her husband know how to contact her at all times…ALL TIMES

2) What kind of mother would deprive her child of a loving father.

3) What kind of person would not care about your feelings knowing that you would worry yourself sick over this situation?

4) What kind of mother-in-law would not concern herself about the fact that you are worried about her daughter and grandchild?

5) What kind of people are these for you to spend so much of your life worrying about?

The facts are, there is almost no chance that something horrible has happened. If it has, then it is in the past and there is nothing you can do about it. Your wife (and her mother) knows you have money and assuming you are not abusive, they will return. Take some time off to see Thailand on your own for a while, relax and let things unfold by themselves.

Best regards