Is This Just Another " Sick Buffalo"- Story?

[dannyh2000uk]

Ok here is a story of which many of you will probably say " we got another one", but all opinions are being sort here so no problem.

My marriage fell about after 18 years in 2005 to an English girl who kept the house etc, etc.In Apr 2006 I had to freelance out in Los for 2 months and met girl X.

I met her in Pattaya ( I know, I know!).in a disco

By observing her over many days, I came to the conclusion she had a good heart and was pretty honest.

When I returned to Uk in June we kept in touch ( her always phoning me)

In Aug 2006 while homeless and skint and feeling down, I travelled back over to Los.

We hooked up and travelled around Thailand

We did the usual trip to Issan etc, etc

Her family were lovely too

Somewhere during this trip, she got pregnant.

I was due to return to UK after 5 weeks but thought I have to stay and not leave this girl to cope with this alone .

Because Of the visa situation in Thailand I had to keep leaving so, we got her a passport and she came too

I took her for two months to Cambodia .then back to Thailand, etc, etc.

On one of these trips we popped into Pattaya she hated it I loved it, but we moved on.

Just before the baby was born on a that last trip to Cambodia We were involved in a bad crash.

Luckily she was Fine I was a mess ( smashed leg, shoulder etc, etc.).

We transferred to Trat Hospital where The baby was born, and I was cast up.

After 15 days and 2 ops I had to leave hospital as all money gone.

X, baby and me had to loan money and rent cheap place in trat for the next 2 months till I could move.

She said to me " I would love you even if they cut your leg off- reference to what Cambodia clinic were

advising to me, she looked like she really meant it.

In all the time there she never moaned while looking after a new baby, and an invalid day in, day out. getting food etc, etc

Because of leg cast and shoulder cast, I couldn't even help by holding our Daughter.

Anyway when we could move from Trat we had to stay with her Family in Issan as I had no cash and couldn't get on my plane yet due to leg.

All the while in Issan X was positive making the food, looking after baby etc, etc.

I explained many times that I was going back to no job, house, and a complicated divorce.

When the time finally came for me to face the UK, X cried real tears ( so did I) we had travelled 14 months solid, day and night, with me being quite poor ( for a farange), if truth be told.

When I got back I found a lovely little note written on our daughters tee-shirt, hidden in my bag.

Also I was shocked to see all my clothes secretly ironed

Anyway I have been back 4 months now, and although we spoke everyday at first, now both of being skint, we are down to emails.

X works 300 kms+ from baby who is in Issan with Gran. X is selling clothes- trat ( of all places)

Now I discover her mum is Owing 100,000 Baht ( and has done for 8 + years) to a loan person who now wants to call in the loan, i.e. House/Land etc, etc.

Now this part I believe having been there a few times and observing what goes on.

But If happens My Daughter who is parentless now becomes Homeless.

I am switching between totally believing the story, and thinking that at worst they just want the security of the home, and that the loan shark doesn't really want the house now. Which are both good enough for me as I lived there so long and have a daughter and genuinely like them all.

OR am I being carefully scammed.

One Brit in Pattaya some 12 months before said to me- without meeting her " she'll have the lot off you mate", to which I replied " too late the uk wife already has it all- and this Thai girl doesn't seem to want anything, i.e. I give her money she goes and buys me clothes etc, etc.".

He said to me " Oh she is playing the Long game, for the big score"

In order to pay that 100,000 baht at this time I would have to loan, so not something I can do Lightly-if at all-

I can't believe I am so blind after 18 years marriage, or am I just rebounding and that is blinding me

What do you guys think ?

Is this just another "sick Buffalo story"- or are there ever any honest stories?

She is 25 and mature I am in my 40's wise to some things not all.

.

[IMChris]

Ok here is a story of which many of you will probably say " we got another one", but all opinions are being sort here so no problem.

My marriage fell about after 18 years in 2005 to an English girl who kept the house etc, etc.In Apr 2006 I had to freelance out in Los for 2 months and met girl X.

I met her in Pattaya ( I know, I know!).in a disco

By observing her over many days, I came to the conclusion she had a good heart and was pretty honest.

When I returned to Uk in June we kept in touch ( her always phoning me)

In Aug 2006 while homeless and skint and feeling down, I travelled back over to Los.

We hooked up and travelled around Thailand

We did the usual trip to Issan etc, etc

Her family were lovely too

Somewhere during this trip, she got pregnant.

I was due to return to UK after 5 weeks but thought I have to stay and not leave this girl to cope with this alone .

Because Of the visa situation in Thailand I had to keep leaving so, we got her a passport and she came too

I took her for two months to Cambodia .then back to Thailand, etc, etc.

On one of these trips we popped into Pattaya she hated it I loved it, but we moved on.

Just before the baby was born on a that last trip to Cambodia We were involved in a bad crash.

Luckily she was Fine I was a mess ( smashed leg, shoulder etc, etc.).

We transferred to Trat Hospital where The baby was born, and I was cast up.

After 15 days and 2 ops I had to leave hospital as all money gone.

X, baby and me had to loan money and rent cheap place in trat for the next 2 months till I could move.

She said to me " I would love you even if they cut your leg off- reference to what Cambodia clinic were

advising to me, she looked like she really meant it.

In all the time there she never moaned while looking after a new baby, and an invalid day in, day out. getting food etc, etc

Because of leg cast and shoulder cast, I couldn't even help by holding our Daughter.

Anyway when we could move from Trat we had to stay with her Family in Issan as I had no cash and couldn't get on my plane yet due to leg.

All the while in Issan X was positive making the food, looking after baby etc, etc.

I explained many times that I was going back to no job, house, and a complicated divorce.

When the time finally came for me to face the UK, X cried real tears ( so did I) we had travelled 14 months solid, day and night, with me being quite poor ( for a farange), if truth be told.

When I got back I found a lovely little note written on our daughters tee-shirt, hidden in my bag.

Also I was shocked to see all my clothes secretly ironed

Anyway I have been back 4 months now, and although we spoke everyday at first, now both of being skint, we are down to emails.

X works 300 kms+ from baby who is in Issan with Gran. X is selling clothes- trat ( of all places)

Now I discover her mum is Owing 100,000 Baht ( and has done for 8 + years) to a loan person who now wants to call in the loan, i.e. House/Land etc, etc.

Now this part I believe having been there a few times and observing what goes on.

But If happens My Daughter who is parentless now becomes Homeless.

I am switching between totally believing the story, and thinking that at worst they just want the security of the home, and that the loan shark doesn't really want the house now. Which are both good enough for me as I lived there so long and have a daughter and genuinely like them all.

OR am I being carefully scammed.

One Brit in Pattaya some 12 months before said to me- without meeting her " she'll have the lot off you mate", to which I replied " too late the uk wife already has it all- and this Thai girl doesn't seem to want anything, i.e. I give her money she goes and buys me clothes etc, etc.".

He said to me " Oh she is playing the Long game, for the big score"

In order to pay that 100,000 baht at this time I would have to loan, so not something I can do Lightly-if at all-

I can't believe I am so blind after 18 years marriage, or am I just rebounding and that is blinding me

What do you guys think ?

Is this just another "sick Buffalo story"- or are there ever any honest stories?

She is 25 and mature I am in my 40's wise to some things not all.

.

Well you could get a a backround check by a PI. They can get all the dirt on her and mother, if there is any. Good Luck

[Robski]

Not all Thai girls sit around all day thinking of ways to get money out of Farangs...

End of the day tho' wether you think it's a story or not she's got your kid and you're part of the family now, you're in for the long haul.

Good luck and I hope it all goes well.

Edited February 8, 2008 by Robski

[howtoescape]

Surely there is some kind of document stating she owes this amount ask fo a copy of it, if it doesnt come there is your answer.

[wasabi]

Surely there is some kind of document stating she owes this amount ask fo a copy of it, if it doesnt come there is your answer.

I agree documentation would help allay any fears but asking for it can make them lose face. "What you no believe me?" It's a tough situation. I'd say a PI is the best bet but given there is a child involved you may just have to pony up.

[Kimera]

Ok here is a story of which many of you will probably say " we got another one", but all opinions are being sort here so no problem.

My marriage fell about after 18 years in 2005 to an English girl who kept the house etc, etc.In Apr 2006 I had to freelance out in Los for 2 months and met girl X.

I met her in Pattaya ( I know, I know!).in a disco

By observing her over many days, I came to the conclusion she had a good heart and was pretty honest.

When I returned to Uk in June we kept in touch ( her always phoning me)

In Aug 2006 while homeless and skint and feeling down, I travelled back over to Los.

We hooked up and travelled around Thailand

We did the usual trip to Issan etc, etc

Her family were lovely too

Somewhere during this trip, she got pregnant.

I was due to return to UK after 5 weeks but thought I have to stay and not leave this girl to cope with this alone .

Because Of the visa situation in Thailand I had to keep leaving so, we got her a passport and she came too

I took her for two months to Cambodia .then back to Thailand, etc, etc.

On one of these trips we popped into Pattaya she hated it I loved it, but we moved on.

Just before the baby was born on a that last trip to Cambodia We were involved in a bad crash.

Luckily she was Fine I was a mess ( smashed leg, shoulder etc, etc.).

We transferred to Trat Hospital where The baby was born, and I was cast up.

After 15 days and 2 ops I had to leave hospital as all money gone.

X, baby and me had to loan money and rent cheap place in trat for the next 2 months till I could move.

She said to me " I would love you even if they cut your leg off- reference to what Cambodia clinic were

advising to me, she looked like she really meant it.

In all the time there she never moaned while looking after a new baby, and an invalid day in, day out. getting food etc, etc

Because of leg cast and shoulder cast, I couldn't even help by holding our Daughter.

Anyway when we could move from Trat we had to stay with her Family in Issan as I had no cash and couldn't get on my plane yet due to leg.

All the while in Issan X was positive making the food, looking after baby etc, etc.

I explained many times that I was going back to no job, house, and a complicated divorce.

When the time finally came for me to face the UK, X cried real tears ( so did I) we had travelled 14 months solid, day and night, with me being quite poor ( for a farange), if truth be told.

When I got back I found a lovely little note written on our daughters tee-shirt, hidden in my bag.

Also I was shocked to see all my clothes secretly ironed

Anyway I have been back 4 months now, and although we spoke everyday at first, now both of being skint, we are down to emails.

X works 300 kms+ from baby who is in Issan with Gran. X is selling clothes- trat ( of all places)

Now I discover her mum is Owing 100,000 Baht ( and has done for 8 + years) to a loan person who now wants to call in the loan, i.e. House/Land etc, etc.

Now this part I believe having been there a few times and observing what goes on.

But If happens My Daughter who is parentless now becomes Homeless.

I am switching between totally believing the story, and thinking that at worst they just want the security of the home, and that the loan shark doesn't really want the house now. Which are both good enough for me as I lived there so long and have a daughter and genuinely like them all.

OR am I being carefully scammed.

One Brit in Pattaya some 12 months before said to me- without meeting her " she'll have the lot off you mate", to which I replied " too late the uk wife already has it all- and this Thai girl doesn't seem to want anything, i.e. I give her money she goes and buys me clothes etc, etc.".

He said to me " Oh she is playing the Long game, for the big score"

In order to pay that 100,000 baht at this time I would have to loan, so not something I can do Lightly-if at all-

I can't believe I am so blind after 18 years marriage, or am I just rebounding and that is blinding me

What do you guys think ?

Is this just another "sick Buffalo story"- or are there ever any honest stories?

She is 25 and mature I am in my 40's wise to some things not all.

.

Well I think she is genuine she sounds like a good girl and we are only talking 100,000 baht and she knows by now you have no money, this my friend is not the big one !!!! times it by 100 !!!!! maybe, its nothing in the way of things 100.000 you clearly dont have the big one, many of use spend that much in one month on the girl, give her what you can

[jckei]

The stuff the brit told you in Pattaya, that she is playing games with you, no way. It's "just" 100k. The girls that got the patients to stay with a guy for several years to cash in one big time do it for way bigger money. These guys that keep telling you stuff like that are the ones that has gotten burnt, bad. By telling everyone else there is no love to find in Thailand make them feel better.

After reading your story, I just can't imagine she would scam you now, for a pitty 100k. It's probably just your mind playing tricks on you.

[PadThaiGuy]

You're going to put 100k on your credit card to pay off this birds mothers loan?

[howtoescape]

You're going to put 100k on your credit card to pay off this birds mothers loan?

His dilema is that the birds mother is looking after his kid and he doesnt want it being homeless.

Id probably pay the money on the basis that if you are being scammed, some of it will wittle down to the bairn and try not to think about it, if it happens again then you know its a scam.

[Briggsy]

First: DNA test.

Second: Private Investigator

Third: If you are convinced, pay off the loan directly ensuring a 3rd party with influence in Thailand acts as mediator. Do not just hand over a wedge to the family.

Fourth: Consider why your child is living in a shack in a third world country with crap health care and education with one grandparent and what you can do about. For example for a lot less than 100,000 Baht, you could remove her from this bad situation and have your girlfriend look after her. Your girlfriend will not earn 10,000 Baht a month selling clothes in Trat.

Many things in your story suggest you have been hoodwinked and you are not thinking straight at all.

[khunandy]

Mate, she looked after you through (not so) thick and thin, you are a couple with a kid now. There always comes a time in a Thai - Farang relationship where you come to a point when you have to decide whether to "jump the stick' or not.

In this case it is a request for 100,000 baht.

Maybe she is telling the truth or maybe it is a way or reassuring herself that you are committed to her and the child. Thais have a funny way of testing commitment sometimes.

The other possibility is that due to the separation and maybe a mild depression your mind is starting to play tricks on you. It happens.

Dont listen to the prophets of doom, you to have probably done more together and had more adventures that some of the fly in / fly out husbands have had in 10 years. Trust your gut, cut her some slack and try to improve your situation so that 100,000 baht isn't such a huge amount that it affects your relationship.

Meet her half way and negotiate a smaller amount to pacify the money lender until your situation improves.

Good luck and congratulations on the birth of the baby, I hope your situation improves.

BTW...she sounds like a genuine lady, look at the money as payment for all that loving care she gave you when you were injured

Khun Andy

[Cuban]

Part of the driving factor for the loan being called in might be public knowledge that the mother's daughter now has a farang for 14 months, long relationship. The family will be considered to have money regardless of your personal situation, this is the way of things in Thailand.

You might want to progress a Passport for your child from your home country.

You might want to move heaven and earth to get your family out of the situaation, you are in your 40s - you have responsabilities.

[Maigo6]

What do you guys think ?

Is this just another "sick Buffalo story"- or are there ever any honest stories?

She is 25 and mature I am in my 40's wise to some things not all.

.

I think girl had some bad luck, that's all. Let's face it, if this isn't a wind up, what do you have to offer her ?

Would a 25 year old woman in UK find you irresistable when you are jobless and potless ?

If she wanted a guy that had no job and was skint, she could have found one a lot closer to home.

And why would you think that a loan shark wouldn't call in a loan ?

There is now a Farang in the Family, so it would seem the perfect opportunity for a loan shark to call in the loan, I would if I was him.

Many Farang make me laugh, they fly half way round the world to meet a poor girl half their age, then seem amazed that the girl's Family are also poor people.

Poor people in UK are in debt up to their ears, yet you seem to think that the story of X's parents being in debt could be phony, no social security in Thailand mate, if there was, you would probably never have met in the first place.

Edited February 9, 2008 by Maigo6

[PadThaiGuy]

How about this?

If you think the kids belongs to you, buy that house and put it in the kids name?

The problem is, if you bail out the Mom, they will think you are a sucker(stupid).

Believe it or not, you will gain some face by not giving the family the dough.

[mouse]

Trust unless shown otherwise. Work hard save your money and then bring her home or go to her home and find something to do. Never question your heart. If broken, repair by removing the damaging factors and move on. Never repeat mistakes with the same person.

[jonniebkk]

I say go for it...the Thai economy is weakening at the moment and I hand it to this girl for doing her part to pump needed extra pounds into the economy. Can you please send over some of your friends who are also middle-aged and on the rebound from failed relationships and are also ripe for the picking

[dannyh2000uk]

Thanks Guys that was what I was looking for .

cheers.

I'll update as and when

[dannyh2000uk]

except jonniebkk-lol

[garro]

I suppose it all boils down to who you trust more, 'some Brit in Pattya' or the mother of your child.

The answer will tell you all you need to know about your relationship.

[LoveDaBlues]

How about this?

If you think the kids belongs to you, buy that house and put it in the kids name?

The problem is, if you bail out the Mom, they will think you are a sucker(stupid).

Believe it or not, you will gain some face by not giving the family the dough.

Right. By letting the family lose the house & land he will gain great face.

[dannyh2000uk]

To assure the guy who thought it was a hoax, have a little look at the montage I put up a couple of months ago.

Back in London ( left 11 years ago, I now know why), a year more of dodgy leg, staying at friends.

you tend to wile away the time doing montages, so forgive me, too much time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le9Bu6db7rY

Edited February 9, 2008 by dannyh2000uk

[backflip]

"Now I discover her mum is Owing 100,000 Baht..."

It's her mom's debt. It does not concern you, and you should not get involved. If "secretly ironing your shirts" is sufficient reason to give her 100,000 THB, I'll iron all of your clothes for the same amount of money.

[dannyh2000uk]

"Now I discover her mum is Owing 100,000 Baht..."

It's her mom's debt. It does not concern you, and you should not get involved. If "secretly ironing your shirts" is sufficient reason to give her 100,000 THB, I'll iron all of your clothes for the same amount of money.

.

I was under the impression family looked after eachother there, and having a common link I.e the

daughter, made me somehow linked.

I don't have a problem if it is genuine.

But you can imagine after losing 98% in Uk after what took a life building, it is more the desire not to be

an idiot again.

[Maigo6]

But you can imagine after losing 98% in Uk after what took a life building, it is more the desire not to be

an idiot again.

Then meet an independently wealthy women who does not need your money.

A disco in Pattaya ain't the place by the way.

Then again, you already know that don't you !

Edited February 9, 2008 by Maigo6

[Briggsy]

Under-5 mortality rate (per 1000 children per year)

Thailand 15.1

UK 6.0

Source: United Nations Population Division

For children living in poverty in Thailand in Isaan the rate will certainly be considerably higher. Get your priorities dam_n straight. The mother-in-law's debt is way down on the list. Remove your child from this utterly unnecessary disadvantageous position. This is clearly your top priority.

[Tod Daniels]

Rural thais (and even bangkokian ones) use money lenders like we use credit cards in the US. They borrow often, and sometimes with large sums they can only pay the interest to keep the note alive. As one posted pointed out it could be a 'test' to see if you'll pony up, or it could be legit. If your fluency in thai leaves a lot to be desired and you are relying on the 'pidgin-engrish' version, it only makes believing it that much harder and difficult to prove or disprove. Too many questions and you will inevitably be hit with the “Why you ask too mut, you no belieb me?” line and its ensuing loss of face, etc.

I think your worry about your daughter becoming 'homeless' as you so quaintly put it, is very unlikely. Children are cared for very ingeniously here by extended family members. Nor is it particularly noteworthy to have a baby being watched/cared for by the grandparents often 100’s of kilometers away from the mother as it's just the way things are done here. I doubt the money lender wants the house/land, probably just the money. As was pointed out by another poster, now that there is a foreigner in the mix, the family could be perceived as having a ‘cash cow’ that can be ‘milked’. The debt is OLD but the lender only just now wants to collect in full. That is usually indicative that they smell money at hand.

While it is a heart-wrenching tale about commitment and love in the glorious "Land 'O Thais"; knowing if the 100K debt is real or not is sketchy at best. Remember; even a white cat is grey in the dark. 100K is a LARGE debt to owe a money lender for that length of time. Especially so for someone living up-country where an entire thai family can live for 5K a month without any problem. (I am NOT saying they can live a first world quality life, but that they can certainly meet their day to day needs up-country in a pissant shit-hole developing third world country like this.) You don't delve into the reasons why they have this debt, only that they have had it for many years. What was the money borrowed for? There could be underlying problems like drinking, gambling, etc.

While I live here by a motto which has served me well; "Don't EVER trust a thai and trust the foreigners living here less", in the end only you can decide what is right for you, your child and her mother.

[tartempion]

Now I discover her mum is Owing 100,000 Baht ( and has done for 8 + years) to a loan person who now wants to call in the loan, i.e. House/Land etc, etc.

So suddenly after 8 years( ) the loan shark wants his money back?

Who paid the 10% monthly interest laon sharks require?

Something does not add up, typical family embarassing their children, see it all over again and again

[huggybear]

Under-5 mortality rate (per 1000 children per year)

Thailand 15.1

UK 6.0

Source: United Nations Population Division

For children living in poverty in Thailand in Isaan the rate will certainly be considerably higher. Get your priorities dam_n straight. The mother-in-law's debt is way down on the list. Remove your child from this utterly unnecessary disadvantageous position. This is clearly your top priority.

I'm absolutely on board with this poster. The matter is the child and your concern for her should be the top priority.

I am unclear... if the mom is selling clothes, why she cannot have the child with her. If she is in the game, then I understand.

[bob4you]

let her and mama know that this is the total sin sot (dowry) in advance, and that if you marry her it will be when you are ready not when she or mama is. That way they will not think she is marrying a gold mine.

[Briggsy]

Under-5 mortality rate (per 1000 children per year)

Thailand 15.1

UK 6.0

Source: United Nations Population Division

For children living in poverty in Thailand in Isaan the rate will certainly be considerably higher. Get your priorities dam_n straight. The mother-in-law's debt is way down on the list. Remove your child from this utterly unnecessary disadvantageous position. This is clearly your top priority.

I'm absolutely on board with this poster. The matter is the child and your concern for her should be the top priority.

I am unclear... if the mom is selling clothes, why she cannot have the child with her. If she is in the game, then I understand.

Absolutely right, Huggy. However......

Most Pattaya girls send their kids to live with the grandparents. It is mixture of pragmatism and laziness.

To the OP, write down a list of your priorities. Don't be sidetracked by listening to your girlfriend. Those messages will be garbled by family obligations, family aspirations to get rich, fears and only a limited ability in a foreign language and possibly outright lies (I hope not). Be strong and determined. State unequivocally what you want and you will find solutions are much easier than you thought.

If you truly have no money, I would recommend you borrow in your home country to fly out and sort it out. Don't be indecisive and don't take everything you are told by your girlfriend as gospel. Checking it out independently will only enhance your reputation as somebody who is not a pushover.

Furthermore, you are in a win-win situation. If the child is yours, then your priorities lie there and not with the mother-in-law and if it's not then you can walk away from a duplicitous family with all your worries gone. That's a great reason to act.