Is This Just Another " Sick Buffalo"- Story?

[bendix]

Contrarian? Yeah, maybe.

How old is your new daughter Danny? By your own account, she couldnt have been born any earlier than May 2007 which makes her no older than 8 months now? Is that her in both those pics in your blog?

Cute girl. They grow big really quickly in Isaan, don't they?

[khunandy]

Danny,

I think your main concern is if the request for 100K might be the beginning of a pattern. The never ending sting.

Considering that you now have the baby I don't see how you can't offer something, if it was just the GF then you could toss a coin but you have lost that position now there is a baby involved.

I spoke about "jumping the stick" a while ago and somehow you have to offer support to your Thai family and worry about whether it is a sting later on. Conditions and amounts "up to you"

I enjoyed your music on the blog BTY. Interesting life.

[dannyh2000uk]

Contrarian? Yeah, maybe.

How old is your new daughter Danny? By your own account, she couldnt have been born any earlier than May 2007 which makes her no older than 8 months now? Is that her in both those pics in your blog?

Cute girl. They grow big really quickly in Isaan, don't they?

In the blog that is a photo sent to me, she is 9 months now.

and I tell you at one month she was smiling, that is too fast.

she is a little girl who shocked the docs with her speed.

[tijnebijn]

What a gapping wound you got there on the leg Dan !

I can imagine that must have been a very terrible experience ,

are you ever able to walk normally again .....

Forgive bendix , he is one of the most critical on the forum ,

just balancing the facts for could be trolls , which is considering

the past experiences on this forum , right so to be critical !

In this case I don't think so !

[dannyh2000uk]

What a gapping wound you got there on the leg Dan !

I can imagine that must have been a very terrible experience ,

are you ever able to walk normally again .....

Well the central perennial nerve was severed so we have to wait 2 years from the accident to see if it grows back ( my right foot won't listen to me).

the breaks have healed except the knee, here in the uk the Docs say " we would have pinned the leg, etc, etc".

But I know the thai docs did an absolutely brilliant job of saving the leg that Koh kong cambodia wanted to cut off.

So thank you Kings Hospital Trat, fantastic.

Edited February 10, 2008 by dannyh2000uk

[Westerner]

Contrarian? Yeah, maybe.

How old is your new daughter Danny? By your own account, she couldnt have been born any earlier than May 2007 which makes her no older than 8 months now? Is that her in both those pics in your blog?

Cute girl. They grow big really quickly in Isaan, don't they?

In the blog that is a photo sent to me, she is 9 months now.

and I tell you at one month she was smiling, that is too fast.

she is a little girl who shocked the docs with her speed.

9 months! Give me a break .

[drenoi]

Under-5 mortality rate (per 1000 children per year)

Thailand 15.1

UK 6.0

Source: United Nations Population Division

For children living in poverty in Thailand in Isaan the rate will certainly be considerably higher. Get your priorities dam_n straight. The mother-in-law's debt is way down on the list. Remove your child from this utterly unnecessary disadvantageous position. This is clearly your top priority.

Don't for the life of you listen to this guy. He is trying to scare you into believing that your kid is more likely to die in Thailand than in UK. It's like they say, any statistics can be presented/manipulated to support a point of view. What a crock! There are certain very important factors about living in Thailand that cant be measured or quantified and in my opinion they most defiantly outweigh the negatives, especially for a child growing up. One being community, another being family. You know what I mean. You are more than able to provide a decent early education for your child here in Thailand and I think it is advantageous to do so. I watched your video, your baby looks like a little angel and your wife, to me, looks honest enough. I would do as suggested above and find out more about the loan. It could be a way to test you, to see if you've really been lying about your financial situation and have a secret falang stash somewhere. But be careful not to offend buy asking to see proof. I've seen people in debt in Thailand to loan sharks and it ain't pretty. You can be sure that if the debt is real then the shark has found out about you and has decided to call in the debt. If that's the case it might be time for you to present yourself to the shark and make an arrangement.

That's a pretty impressive gash on your leg there too, was it a motorcycle or a car crash?

p.s. nice tunes!!

Edited February 10, 2008 by drenoi

[Neeranam]

To assure the guy who thought it was a hoax, have a little look at the montage I put up a couple of months ago.

Back in London ( left 11 years ago, I now know why), a year more of dodgy leg, staying at friends.

you tend to wile away the time doing montages, so forgive me, too much time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le9Bu6db7rY

"Danny say aloi and chak wow" charming.

[timpatco]

Only 100,000 Baht heh? Think that will be the end of it?

OK Thai Visa Forum believers in the "goodness must be there sometimes" wake me up when you have story that goes like this;

Thai family win 1m baht in lottery , or sell their house, inheret some money and share it with farang son in law? hah hah

[koto]

Ok here is a story of which many of you will probably say " we got another one", but all opinions are being sort here so no problem.

My marriage fell about after 18 years in 2005 to an English girl who kept the house etc, etc.In Apr 2006 I had to freelance out in Los for 2 months and met girl X.

I met her in Pattaya ( I know, I know!).in a disco

By observing her over many days, I came to the conclusion she had a good heart and was pretty honest.

When I returned to Uk in June we kept in touch ( her always phoning me)

In Aug 2006 while homeless and skint and feeling down, I travelled back over to Los.

We hooked up and travelled around Thailand

We did the usual trip to Issan etc, etc

Her family were lovely too

Somewhere during this trip, she got pregnant.

I was due to return to UK after 5 weeks but thought I have to stay and not leave this girl to cope with this alone .

Because Of the visa situation in Thailand I had to keep leaving so, we got her a passport and she came too

I took her for two months to Cambodia .then back to Thailand, etc, etc.

On one of these trips we popped into Pattaya she hated it I loved it, but we moved on.

Just before the baby was born on a that last trip to Cambodia We were involved in a bad crash.

Luckily she was Fine I was a mess ( smashed leg, shoulder etc, etc.).

We transferred to Trat Hospital where The baby was born, and I was cast up.

After 15 days and 2 ops I had to leave hospital as all money gone.

X, baby and me had to loan money and rent cheap place in trat for the next 2 months till I could move.

She said to me " I would love you even if they cut your leg off- reference to what Cambodia clinic were

advising to me, she looked like she really meant it.

In all the time there she never moaned while looking after a new baby, and an invalid day in, day out. getting food etc, etc

Because of leg cast and shoulder cast, I couldn't even help by holding our Daughter.

Anyway when we could move from Trat we had to stay with her Family in Issan as I had no cash and couldn't get on my plane yet due to leg.

All the while in Issan X was positive making the food, looking after baby etc, etc.

I explained many times that I was going back to no job, house, and a complicated divorce.

When the time finally came for me to face the UK, X cried real tears ( so did I) we had travelled 14 months solid, day and night, with me being quite poor ( for a farange), if truth be told.

When I got back I found a lovely little note written on our daughters tee-shirt, hidden in my bag.

Also I was shocked to see all my clothes secretly ironed

Anyway I have been back 4 months now, and although we spoke everyday at first, now both of being skint, we are down to emails.

X works 300 kms+ from baby who is in Issan with Gran. X is selling clothes- trat ( of all places)

Now I discover her mum is Owing 100,000 Baht ( and has done for 8 + years) to a loan person who now wants to call in the loan, i.e. House/Land etc, etc.

Now this part I believe having been there a few times and observing what goes on.

But If happens My Daughter who is parentless now becomes Homeless.

I am switching between totally believing the story, and thinking that at worst they just want the security of the home, and that the loan shark doesn't really want the house now. Which are both good enough for me as I lived there so long and have a daughter and genuinely like them all.

OR am I being carefully scammed.

One Brit in Pattaya some 12 months before said to me- without meeting her " she'll have the lot off you mate", to which I replied " too late the uk wife already has it all- and this Thai girl doesn't seem to want anything, i.e. I give her money she goes and buys me clothes etc, etc.".

He said to me " Oh she is playing the Long game, for the big score"

In order to pay that 100,000 baht at this time I would have to loan, so not something I can do Lightly-if at all-

I can't believe I am so blind after 18 years marriage, or am I just rebounding and that is blinding me

What do you guys think ?

Is this just another "sick Buffalo story"- or are there ever any honest stories?

She is 25 and mature I am in my 40's wise to some things not all.

.

Well I think she is genuine she sounds like a good girl and we are only talking 100,000 baht and she knows by now you have no money, this my friend is not the big one !!!! times it by 100 !!!!! maybe, its nothing in the way of things 100.000 you clearly dont have the big one, many of use spend that much in one month on the girl, give her what you can

Things like money can be replaced, love is pricless, also a baby, half you, half her, If it last 6 months or 60 years, love the one your with and ride it to the dirt, life is on the lay-away plan anyway, you pay till they lay you-away, let your heart lead you, don't listen to any of us, we are all different, get in touch with your Gut, your Heart, your Lady and your Child, Know what the worst can be, strive for the best and if it falls some where in the middle, Thank You Buddha, Thank You God, May health and happiness be with you and yours.

Koto, Keeper of the ocean

[tracer5050]

Good luck to you , I know there is thai Ladies who love frang men, If you ever spend any time in Issan you know how they can improve their life style. I know even men in the US who has told me it just as easy to love a woman with money as one without it. Like they say in LOS up to them.

But for a guy loseing 98% of his property in a divorce >> In my past life I workrd and ran a detective agerncy in the US for 30 years and only saw this happen maybe 2 times . That was when the guy got caught with his pants down and bailed before court so his honey would not be pulled in to it. I think most later cryed about how the x took him. sometime we dont get the whole story

[harleyclarkey]

HI

Give her the money for <deleted> sake, its only 100.000, maybe something good will come out of it, if not you have learnt something.

Agreed....it is a very small amount for the pleaseure of her company over 2 years. To "entertain", and entertain they want every <deleted> day, a babe in the West will cost you tons more.Give her the benifit of the doubt....my guess is she will come through.

[harleyclarkey]

Ps...my babe let it "slip" that she owerd 50k to a money lender in Buri Ram. She didn't ask me for any contribution nor did I offer. She has now paid off all but 15k!

For me anyway it is a guage of what the babe wants out of me.....my stunning looks, my Adonis like body, my wit and sense of humour, my wordly knowledge, my sexulal prowness....or my money!!!! Mmmm usually the latter. But what the heck...it is only money and not a lot of it to boot.

[torrenova]

Taking the Op's comments as legitimate then there are a few issues and some things we need to know.

What was the girl doing in Pattaya ? he says they met in a disco ? Now the higher chance is that she was on the game as against being down from Bangkok for the weekend. If so, there would be reasons for this and usually financial. However the underlying reason would probably remain as she could have gone to sell clothes rather than work in Pattaya. If she was not working then why do we not hear about her job prior to the pregnancy or at any time until lat eon in the story ?

This debt of the parents which I acknowledge seems only to have come to light very late in the day is worrying. However, I think the OP would have to concede that his position could have been far worse had he not received such care from the girl and her family. As mere recompense for that it may have enough validity but I have my suspicions.

The more important thing is the baby. The OP cannot bring the baby or the mother to the UK at any time soon so there is an issue of his taking care of his offspring in Thailand. It appears he has no immediate prospects of income and certainly not 100k to give nor another 100k to go and visit so on the basis of his not working, he is pretty screwed, especially with a wife and 4 kids already.

Then again, you cannot put the baby back nor his other 4 so he has to deal with the problem. The baby in LOS needs more than his kids in the UK because of the lack of a social support network and benefits. His wife's lawyers need to understand this.

The short term goal is a return to some form of work with the ability to raise money for the support of his kid in LOS and a trip back out there. I suggest a medium term goal if he can afford it is to have the mother and baby over to the UK and a lasting relationship if they can work it out together. I cannot see a stable home for them in LOS at any time so the UK and working in the west seems the logical answer.

As to the issue at hand, one way to ask for proof without causing agression is to say that he is asking a friend in Thailand to offer some payment on account (only if the OP can and wants to). If the loan is true then ok. If the OP can perhaps send 25k or 50k then I think the care he has had would cover that so even if it turns out to be bad, he would not really be out of pocket.

To the detractors and his estimates 98% loss and somewhat stupidly fathering another child, well your bickering does not help. I could work through loads of scenarios where you could lose more than 100% as you try to build a business. Not so easy to do so when you are on a safe salary but if you are out there on the edge it can happen ever so easily.

One point to knock the OP on though is that with 4 kids and a wife already and presumably some ongoing fina ncial committments, why on earth did he not have insurance ?

[distortedlink]

Ok here is a story of which many of you will probably say " we got another one", but all opinions are being sort here so no problem.

My marriage fell about after 18 years in 2005 to an English girl who kept the house etc, etc.In Apr 2006 I had to freelance out in Los for 2 months and met girl X.

I met her in Pattaya ( I know, I know!).in a disco

By observing her over many days, I came to the conclusion she had a good heart and was pretty honest.

When I returned to Uk in June we kept in touch ( her always phoning me)

In Aug 2006 while homeless and skint and feeling down, I travelled back over to Los.

We hooked up and travelled around Thailand

We did the usual trip to Issan etc, etc

Her family were lovely too

Somewhere during this trip, she got pregnant.

I was due to return to UK after 5 weeks but thought I have to stay and not leave this girl to cope with this alone .

Because Of the visa situation in Thailand I had to keep leaving so, we got her a passport and she came too

I took her for two months to Cambodia .then back to Thailand, etc, etc.

On one of these trips we popped into Pattaya she hated it I loved it, but we moved on.

Just before the baby was born on a that last trip to Cambodia We were involved in a bad crash.

Luckily she was Fine I was a mess ( smashed leg, shoulder etc, etc.).

We transferred to Trat Hospital where The baby was born, and I was cast up.

After 15 days and 2 ops I had to leave hospital as all money gone.

X, baby and me had to loan money and rent cheap place in trat for the next 2 months till I could move.

She said to me " I would love you even if they cut your leg off- reference to what Cambodia clinic were

advising to me, she looked like she really meant it.

In all the time there she never moaned while looking after a new baby, and an invalid day in, day out. getting food etc, etc

Because of leg cast and shoulder cast, I couldn't even help by holding our Daughter.

Anyway when we could move from Trat we had to stay with her Family in Issan as I had no cash and couldn't get on my plane yet due to leg.

All the while in Issan X was positive making the food, looking after baby etc, etc.

I explained many times that I was going back to no job, house, and a complicated divorce.

When the time finally came for me to face the UK, X cried real tears ( so did I) we had travelled 14 months solid, day and night, with me being quite poor ( for a farange), if truth be told.

When I got back I found a lovely little note written on our daughters tee-shirt, hidden in my bag.

Also I was shocked to see all my clothes secretly ironed

Anyway I have been back 4 months now, and although we spoke everyday at first, now both of being skint, we are down to emails.

X works 300 kms+ from baby who is in Issan with Gran. X is selling clothes- trat ( of all places)

Now I discover her mum is Owing 100,000 Baht ( and has done for 8 + years) to a loan person who now wants to call in the loan, i.e. House/Land etc, etc.

Now this part I believe having been there a few times and observing what goes on.

But If happens My Daughter who is parentless now becomes Homeless.

I am switching between totally believing the story, and thinking that at worst they just want the security of the home, and that the loan shark doesn't really want the house now. Which are both good enough for me as I lived there so long and have a daughter and genuinely like them all.

OR am I being carefully scammed.

One Brit in Pattaya some 12 months before said to me- without meeting her " she'll have the lot off you mate", to which I replied " too late the uk wife already has it all- and this Thai girl doesn't seem to want anything, i.e. I give her money she goes and buys me clothes etc, etc.".

He said to me " Oh she is playing the Long game, for the big score"

In order to pay that 100,000 baht at this time I would have to loan, so not something I can do Lightly-if at all-

I can't believe I am so blind after 18 years marriage, or am I just rebounding and that is blinding me

What do you guys think ?

Is this just another "sick Buffalo story"- or are there ever any honest stories?

She is 25 and mature I am in my 40's wise to some things not all.

.

You did not say whether or not you are the father of the baby?

If the child is yours, than you should take joint responsibility with the Childs mother for it's welfare, whatever is your financial situation, as you should have considered this before making her pregnant.

Your Thai girlfriend is probably struggling to support the child and your response is: is she trying to rip me off.

If your girlfriend were living in England you would be charged to help support the child by law.

I have no sympathy for your situation, whatsoever, and consider your actions and attitude towards your Thai family and they have become part of your family whether you like it or not, as blatantly irresponsible.

Edited February 10, 2008 by distortedlink

[yorkman]

I have no sympathy for your situation, whatsoever, and consider your actions and attitude towards your Thai family and they have become part of your family whether you like it or not, as blatantly irresponsible.

He actually only asked, if you go back to the first post, whether anybody thought this was a scam or not. A reasonable question?

And out of the woodwork come the "my morals at better than yours brigade". Not aimed particularly at you distortedlink , yours follows many others in the same vein.

And I can sympathise with Bendix's suspicions. This sounds so unreal that it just might be a troll.

But, benefit of the doubt until shown otherwise eh? I can see also, at 40, with the roll of the dice your life might be turned so upside down that it almost becomes surreal. It has not happened to me, but to others I know it has.

A minor slap for sillyness at his age, fine. But heck this may be the point he can turn his life around, and get a second life.

[bombdefuzer]

My bet is that Danny came here on a family holiday, got the bug and the marriage fell apart back in the U.K. shortly after.

Probably felt guilty and walked away from the house and assets and came back to LOS with access to bank accounts etc

The Ex wife heard that Danny has taken up with a new girl and "hel_l hath no fury like a women scorned" she has cut the access to money off and wants to make his life a complete misery.

Danny has got the GF pregnant and had the accident and that is where the slippery slope starts.

What he needs to do now is get back to work, any work, and start afresh, he did say he is looking at a messy divorce so maybe thats where his assets are at the moment.

She can't have 98% is they are not yet divorced but maybe she is the custodian of the joint assets until a court decides otherwise.

Whatever the story, I feel for him and wish him the best of luck, but he needs to remember, the harder you work the luckier you seem to get.

My two cents worth

Brilliant. A regular Sherlock Holmes. I try not to post worthless responses, but what the heck, with some many worthless responses from others, what's one more?

All in good fun.

[bombdefuzer]

Bloody good guesswork KhunAndy.

I hope the OP doesn't mind sharing his personal info, it is intriging.

Everyone can start afresh I believe. My suggestion, get what you can from the divorce. Hopefully it's a good few K. And will be more when the kids have grown and you get half the house back. Treat that as your pension. If you have a well paid job in the Uk, bring the gf over and look after them. Come to Thailand and become an English teacher if you don't.

Gosh I'm going to barf. Another english teacher? Didn't he say he was destitute? You expect him to get out of a financial hole by being an english teacher? You must be kidding

[bombdefuzer]

Quite a story. My life's been a picnic here compared to your situation. What sort of visa were you here on for 14 months? Do you intend to live her in LOS with her? Presuming the baby is yours, you should do your best to look after her. I would be careful about just handing over 100,000 without verfiable proof regarding the debt & house ownership. You gave her money in the past & she bought YOU clothes with it?? I never saw anything like this in almost 4 years living here. She may have some saintly characteristics, if this is true.

Verifiable proof of the debt may be difficult. I really dont think the loan shark has "books" for public dissemination.

[blizzard]

i smell troll. why would this guy post video of hmself if he is poor as issarn people. he surely going to lose lots of face..................lol.

poor people not into publicizing they poor.

disco girl very bootiful.........................lol.

[bombdefuzer]

Completely agree. The more you think about the situation the more irresponsible the OP appears. We can all wail and gnash our teeth and sympathise with bad luck but it's my experience that we make our own luck and if you can't afford to support kids you shouldnt have them. Selfish selfish selfish.

No doubt the bleeding hearts on here will attack us and say it's not his fault.

Well, who's fault is it exactly?

Early 40s. No money. No job. No home. Five kids he can't support.

Good work fella - you should be proud of yourself

Here we go again - belittling others to make your inadequate self feel better.

With respect, Neeranam (and I say that with tongue firmly in cheek), it's hard to find any merit in the OP's position.

He might have done well in his life by your standards but NOT by anyone else's.

Are you suggesting we should follow his example?

"anyone else's" ? clarify that please..your standard? everyone's standard? Somebody's standard? Very vague....

[dannyh2000uk]

"Danny say aloi and chak wow" charming.

Yes very unfortunate, but in the video I was trying to paint the path from "self-distruction" to redemption, with the limited shots I had ( the camera was out for many months).

At the early phase I was Just trying to lose myself in hedonism, byt the end I seemed to have a chance of a new family.

You must all know I loved being dad in UK, I saw it as my role till I died.

No matter what any of you think, once you leave the family home although you are still dad, it is never, ever the same.

I just reacted badly in retrospect.

A cooler customer would have not left the home and coldly fought for his own needs, while telling the wife to do one, as it was she, that wanted change.

[Robski]

3) Log off thaivisa because if my timing is right it's currently 4.30am in the UK and he's still reading this.

Your point Is?

I think you might find the ignore function useful Danny.

Click on the user profile and then into the options tab under the personal pic.

Edited February 10, 2008 by Robski

[dannyh2000uk]

Taking the Op's comments as legitimate then there are a few issues and some things we need to know.

What was the girl doing in Pattaya ? he says they met in a disco ? Now the higher chance is that she was on the game as against being down from Bangkok for the weekend. If so, there would be reasons for this and usually financial. However the underlying reason would probably remain as she could have gone to sell clothes rather than work in Pattaya. If she was not working then why do we not hear about her job prior to the pregnancy or at any time until lat eon in the story ?

she was in Pattaya trying to work in a hair salon, On a subsequent visit back to Pattaya, I could tell she only vaguely knew her friends, and everything I witnessed lead me to believe she had only been there a

short time when I first met her.

We must not forget, although pattaya is boom boom city, a lot of girls just go there because it seems exciting, X hates it now.

Before that she had done the usual, rice picking, reebok making, clothes selling route.

Now she seems to be working for some Thai/Spanish mob who move around from Trat to Bangkok to Rayong Buying clothes and shipping to europe.

[dannyh2000uk]

One point to knock the OP on though is that with 4 kids and a wife already and presumably some ongoing fina ncial committments, why on earth did he not have insurance ?

I did Travel insurance and Life insurance, but when My wife somehow got me taken off our joint account the debits stopped going out.

The life insurance I had been paying since my first kid was born 1992

[dannyh2000uk]

to prove i am not a troll

Just to stop us going off into that territory here is a post I made in 2007 at the time of accident.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...p;#entry1309996

[Robski]

So Danny, have you made any plans for a course of action yet?

[Martin4travel]

Here is your dilemma:

On the one hand you want to help, if help is really needed.

On the other hand you don’t want to give money if it’s not true.

Here is something to consider: expectations.

If you make an effort and give the money, you will create an expectation that when ever there are financial problems, you will be the one to come to the rescue.

You must consider that you are setting a bar that would be very hard to go down from, that meaning the 100k would be the bar.

My advice would be to give 10K right away and obligate to sending 7K every month.

Stress to the girl that is not your money and that you taking a loan from a friend, so she can understand that no mater what the emergency is in the future, you can not come up with more then 10K at once.

This way you can help her out, without coming across as an ATM that gives money when ever she says so.

The reason behind my suggestion is that even if it is a scam to get money out of you, the least you can do is send a bit of money every month to help raise YOUR own child.

It’s not a perfect solution, but it gives you time to get a feeling what is going on.

You must stress to her that you can not afford more money in the future, and if more money requests follow in the future then you will now that they are trying to get money out of you.

Hope you find this advice useful.

[blizzard]

a guy say a thai girl goes to pattaya for excitement is hilarious! although it could be true............lol.

the only man thing to do is move to pattaya and support yr baby. you say how much you love her, PROVE IT! chances r if you dont help to raise girl when she get older she prolly going to pattaya for excitement too!

momma will respect you more than if you paid off her debt......................

Edited February 10, 2008 by blizzard

[dannyh2000uk]

So Danny, have you made any plans for a course of action yet?

Well this forum has given me much food for thought and some reasonable replies.

I would like to add an incident that I just remembered.

The final time I stayed in Issan awaiting recovery to get my plane, I was awoken by a furious argument between X and her Dad.

When the dad had left I asked what it was about.

It turned out he had ask X to ask me for 120 baht to go to Hospital for an ear infection and she had told him " no I can't ask danny".

Of course as soon as he came back I gave him the dosh, and off he went via tuk, tuk.

I am not sure if this is normal thai daughter behaivoir, but I appreciated the gesture.

I guess what I am saying is now You lot have convinced me,It doesn't really matter what the reasons are, but I have to get money over to them if for no more reason than they now have additional costs of my daughter to find- and vaccinations ain't cheap there.

Best

Dan