Web Dating

[radioguy1450]

Many of the Thai oriented websites I visit (like stickman) have adds for dating sites that seem to be based on connecting foreign men to Thai women. Being the cynic that I am I always assume these sites have no actual women but just fake profiles getting guys to sign up. I imagine one guy in a basement answering 3,000 e-mails a day pretending to be a woman.

But assuming I am wrong and the women are real, I have a question. How do these women utilize a website that is written in English? While many Thais can speak some form of English, being able to read and write is an entirely different thing.

I know many girls in rural areas want to marry a farang and they have access to internet cafes, but how would they get past the fact that they cannot read or write English? Is there one person in the village who can read English that does all the translating for them? That could get ridiculously time consuming. They could charge for this but these girls don’t have much money.

I am just curious how all of this works (or doesn’t work). Any stories anyone has would be interesting.

[howtoescape]

From what i gather the reading and writing of Thais of university school age is better then their speaking skills as many rarely get to meet a farang and dont practice speaking too much.

I stand to be corrected on this.

I knew a so called uneducated Thai girl who went to Turkey and learnt the language in 3 months by the means of using a couple of books.

Edited February 10, 2008 by howtoescape

[caledonia]

I did know of a couple of girls who I was friendly with who would get English speakers to help them with replies to the guys - myself included.

In fact a documentary the other night in bar girls showd a lot of the girls in one village used the same lady who basically made a business out of charging the girls to update and reply to any enquiries on their accounts. Was very interesting!

[crazyeddie]

Lots of Thai girls can read and write English much better than we farangs can read/write Thai! I helped one bargirl with a letter or email once, and she was using a handy English book which had lines like "I love you too much and miss you all the time", etc. As you must know, most of these girls are quite poor and education (with the possibility of hitting the lotto and snagging a rich farang husband) being one of their only ways of ever achieving much in the way of security in life. Where else are we "older gentlemen" going to find a lovely young woman to be our partner? Life is just a game, a one way ticket, so I say go for it.

[xyborg]

You can meet some really nice Thais online many people seem to think they are all weirdos or losers or after something but what better way to have access to millions of women?? Met my wife here and some other really nice folk as well as a few I didnt like but the net allows you to chat with them first for a long time and find out what they are like why waste time going to pubs and clubs?

[RueFang]

I used to help a woman in my village email a guy in Canada for about 6 months as her English was less then basic He'd comment on how good her English was! They are now married with a new baby and her English is great now!

[GuestHouse]

Being the cynic that I am I always assume these sites have no actual women but just fake profiles......

But assuming I am wrong and the women are real...

I believe the women are real, but that many are not real women.

Caveat Emptor!

[dominique355]

It depends very much on the kind of web-site you are visiting. Some may have fakes or professionals, but many "serious" web-sites feature many highly educated girls and ladies, who speak English very well. Not all of them are looking for a farang husband, some just for someone to practice their English, some for other kinds of fun

There are ladies from all around Thailand, some working in Universities, some executive secretaries, middle aged widows or divorced ladies who are looking for a pen pal or just a friend.

Try it out, you will be amazed.

[radioguy1450]

Just to be clear I want to make sure people know my OP was not meant to judge anyone who uses web dating or Thai girls who want to find a farang husband. I was just under the impression most could not read or write English so I was curious how these sites could be successful for them.

[likite]

To the op the working of web dating is fairly simple.

Many of the Issan girls on the popular dating sites are there courtesy of the boundless number of ‘dating/marriage agencies’ that hail from many of the bigger cities and towns around the region –namely Khon Khan, Udon Thani, Korat etc.

When you email or chat it is unlikely you will be actually talking to the girl in question. Most girls in Issan cannot even type let alone use a computer, and their English will be almost non existent. The agencies hire local women to “recruit” the girls from the many small villages that dot the countryside and they are not short of takers.

The service is not free. One girl told me she borrowed 30,000 baht to join and the pay off to the agency was 100,000 baht once she married. The 100,000 would come from the farang either directly or from the sinsod. Often the farang would not know anything about this payment as it is hidden in the sinsod. This is good money for the agencies.

You may be led to believe you are talking to the girl or sometimes you may be told they are a ‘friend’ helping there friend. So your initial contact on the dating site comes from a “friend” they will try and avoid saying they are an agency at all costs. The usual line is “she’s an old friend, I’ve known her since we were at school” “we no like Thai men, I just want to help my friend get a good western husband who love and take care of her”.

The agency involvement is preparing the profile, a few standard emails and a few hours webchat, as the agency does not want things to drag on too long. They will want you to meet fairly quickly.

There are girls who do the web thing themselves and these will be normally living outside of Issan - usually Bangkok. They can be roughly broken down to good girls maybe who have friends married to farang or have had a farang boyfriend/husband before and are genuinely looking for a good farang. Then there are bar/massage girls who have learnt some English from customers, these are I think make up the biggest number. Some of course are there for a bit of fun.

I have emailed/chatted and got to know hundreds girls on the net and only met or chatted to a minority who were not after money or a hooker in some form. The difficult part initially is to try to decide if the girl is genuine or not. The more girls you talk to the easier it gets to know what their real motive is for being on a dating site. The stories related by some often had me rocking with laughter, some were so ridiculous and clearly fake.

The chances of finding a genuine regular girl on the net are remote to say the least. Lies and deceit are the norm, this is Thailand after all. It has to be said the good girls often give up the web fairly quickly as they are contacted by so many crazy farang kn**heads - a shame.

Web dating is not for the innocent as the chances are you’ll get burnt sooner or later, better to treat it as fun.

[GuestHouse]

Most girls in Issan cannot even type let alone use a computer,

Contrast this with guys on the other end showing off with their 'one handed typing'.

[Briggsy]

likite (2 posts back) is dead right. That's how they work it. Often though the relationship may be less formal. It will be a friend of a friend who is running a stable of 10 girls in an internet cafe. The picture of the real girl is up there but the replies are typed out by the one who can produce some English.

And yes plenty of them succeed in getting married. I know one person that did this and he had a bad experience emotionally and financially. But there are no doubt some happier stories.

[Cuban]

Internet Dating is huge business. It is possible to buy off the shelf "Web Dating" software that you can configure yourself, colors, styles and wording to direct/attract a particular type of punter.

A google search for "internet dating nears 28 million hits, filter by those with a Thailand interest reduces this figure to a mere 400,000.

Roughly one web site for every 81 females in the country!

Reduce that to women between 14-64yrs and that is one web site for every 57 women.

....me thinks there is some duplication at least.

[Valjean]

I dated a number of women from thailovelinks and found it a great way to meet nice women outside of bars. Some women who I've chated with there or perhaps gone out with have ended up with finding mates. Normal common sense needs to be used but frankly I think it was great and never had one scam type experince. If you are serious about meeting decent Thai women and you're a good guy yourself (not just looking for fast, easy and free sex) I'd recommend it. Especially if you're not one to hang out in bars or clubs or don't have other connections to meet women.

[intumult]

And if you do not want to spend 'waste' money on dating websites who are usually there simply to take your money off you then try Social Dating as social dating websites rarely ask for money. There are 4 good ones in operation that I am aware of and a simple google will find them.

As has been said before, many Thais do seem to be able to read English and write a little too, but often help is given by other people, though this is not meant as a scam per say.

[buffcoat]

I used to use online dating in the UK and it worked for me....but met a few fruitcakes/goldiggers, you need common sense switched on all the time.

Thai sites are no different...a mix of genuine and not, with a population of 65mill you won't find 'one' correct answer to any question.

My impression is that English is far more common in the educated classes and this facilitates honest contacts with genuine women but until you meet them you won't know for sure.

Give it a go and enjoy it, particularly if you are not a fan of bars, discos etc. Perhaps the woman who will suit you does not like them either and this is the only way to strike up a conversation.

[chiang mai]

A good friend of mine from the US has a girlfriend who runs a fairly successful business in Pataya and they have been together for about six years - her written and spoken English is first class. She, being an enterprising young Thai female, constantly looks for new non sexual business opportunities and has over the years made significant sums by translating emails from Thai to English (and American) and visa versa. Fortunately or otherwise her main business is located very near to one of the Pattaya bar soi's hence her main customers are bar girls. Much of her job involves creating emails in English based on a single sentiment expressed by her customer. I love you, I miss you, I need money, someone is sick etc etc.

Over the years she has seen and heard it all and it really shows. She will of course accept bar girls as customers in the name of her business but once the business is closed for the day she will have nothing whatsoever to do with anyone remotely associated with the bar scene, past or present - she is scathing at her customers attitudes towards farangs and I suspect, feels more than just a little bit guilty about her involvement. I will not bore or enthrall you with some of her tales because they will come across as either "old hat" or totally unbelievable.

[tijnebijn]

How desperate one can be needing a website to meet a lover .

But it seems to work out fine for many people , so something should

be right then , a modern way of dating perhaps .

I know a couple of nice Thai ladies chatting with some farang on the Internet ,

sometimes meeting some of them , until know no success .

The girls wanting handsome ( like me ) but also rich ( not like me ) is pretty

much an impossible way to find a nice partner .

I think they are just desperate !

[Jandajoy]

For many girls it's a way to a future. I know a number of friends of the boss who have used the net sites to find falang husbands. Unfortunately I've not heard one success story. I have, however, been asked to help girls out after the Falang had had his 2-3 week holiday and buccered off back to Aus or US or UK, having promised the earth. Marriage, house, business, you name it, the sad bustards promise it, the girl believes it and then othing. Sure the girl gets over it, but, in my limited experience there are as many Falang tourists trying to take advantage as there are girls trying to rip off the blokes.

[chicowoodduck]

Being the cynic that I am I always assume these sites have no actual women but just fake profiles......

But assuming I am wrong and the women are real...

I believe the women are real, but that many are not real women.

Caveat Emptor!

I'm always amused when I return home late in the evening and see the Thai girls in my apartment complex madly typing to several different "friends" in the Western World. It amounts to a small cottage industry in my complex alone and I'm sure they always have someone on the line or at least are trolling the waters for the next BIG catch!