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Howard, a young gay man telephones his mother.

"Mum, I've decided to go back into the closet. I've met a wonderful girl and we are going to be married. What do you think of this news? You'll be happier now - I know that my gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to you."

She responds, "I'm very glad, Howard. I suppose it would be too much to hope that she's a Jewish girl?"

Howard replies, "Not only is she Jewish, mum, but she comes from a wealthy Beverly Hills family."

"So what's her name?"

"Monica Lewinsky".

There is a pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?"

Moishe walks into a post office to send a package to his wife.

The postmaster says, "This package is too heavy, you'll need another stamp."

Moishe replies, "And that should make it lighter?"

Two beggars are sitting on the pavement in Ireland. One is holding a large Cross and the other a large Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions. As people walk by, they lift their noses at the guy holding the Star of David but drop money in the other guy’s hat. Soon one hat is nearly full whilst the other hat is empty.

A priest watches and then approaches the men. He turns to the guy with the Star of David and says, "Don't you realize that this is a Christian country? You'll never get any contributions in this country holding a Star of David."

The guy holding the Star of David then turns to the guy holding the Cross and says, "Hymie, look who's trying to teach us Marketing."

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