The Neighbour

Tom had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of total isolation, someone knocked on his door.

He opened it and there was a huge, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night... thought you might like to come ... about 5:00."

"Great," says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you!"

Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem," says Tom. "After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. "More 'n likely gonna be some fightin' too."

Tom says, "Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Lars turns from the door. "More 'n likely be some wild sex, too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."