Wife Being Hit

[cuddleypete]

Hi there all my wife has a friend who is here on a setellment visa with her husband and last night we got phone call from here saying that her husband had hit her (not the first time ) so today we picked her up and brought back to our home,where we find out that her husband has hit her a few times ,he is very relucktent to give her food and money (rather spend it with his mate's, stays out to all hours of the noight ,and when athome all his mates are there drinking etc) and she is very scared off him now and wants to go back to bkk but off course she has no money and her husband will no give her any money, He says he is sorry and it will never happen agian. He likes to drink and smoke (W to much and spend all his time with his mate's.

What can she do?? ring thai embassey for help??? go to police for help???

please help with the right dvice.

Many thanks pete

[lioness]

They say never interfere in someone's elses domestics, when it's all ok again you and your wife will be the ones on the outer. And at this point you have only one side of a story anyhow.

What nationality are they, I ask this because you say she is here on a visa, and then wonder if she should go to the Thai embassy?

[cuddleypete]

They say never interfere in someone's elses domestics, when it's all ok again you and your wife will be the ones on the outer. And at this point you have only one side of a story anyhow.

What nationality are they, I ask this because you say she is here on a visa, and then wonder if she should go to the Thai embassy?

He is english and she is thai

and i know what you are saying but what can i do whe my wife keeps asking me for help for her friend

[Robski]

How much do you want to help? Its £500 for an airfare. How determined is she to go home?

[the scouser]

If she wishes to get divorced and return to Thailand, you should arrange for her to see a family lawyer. As things stand, however, the only way she is going to get money to go back is from the very husband who it is claimed is hitting her.

If she wishes to stay in the UK, and can substantiate the allegations of abuse, she can apply to the BIA for indefinite leave to remain. However, the abuse will need to be documented and the BIA will expect to see police reports, hospital records, womens shelter records, social worker reports etc.

Scouse.

[PadThaiGuy]

"If she wishes to stay in the UK, and can substantiate the allegations of abuse, she can apply to the BIA for indefinite leave to remain. However, the abuse will need to be documented and the BIA will expect to see police reports, hospital records, womens shelter records, social worker reports etc."

Allegtions of abuse can mean a free pass to stay in that Country. It works that way in the USA.

Could she be setting the guy up I wonder? A tactical ploy that I'm sure that most of these spouses learn on the Thai telegraph.

Edited March 10, 2008 by PadThaiGuy

[cuddleypete]

thanks everyone for your answer's i will pass this on tommorow ok.

many thanks pete and som & baby ben

[cuddleypete]

"If she wishes to stay in the UK, and can substantiate the allegations of abuse, she can apply to the BIA for indefinite leave to remain. However, the abuse will need to be documented and the BIA will expect to see police reports, hospital records, womens shelter records, social worker reports etc."

Allegtions of abuse can mean a free pass to stay in that Country. It works that way in the USA.

Could she be setting the guy up I wonder? A tactical ploy that I'm sure that most of these spouses learn on the Thai telegraph.

Hi there pad thai guy

the girl in question is not making it up or trying to set the guy up ok it is for real

we are only trying to help like any law obiding person

[PadThaiGuy]

You possibly could be right.

I just wanted to point out that what you see/hear is not always true.

Could be a setup.

Edited March 11, 2008 by PadThaiGuy

[zorro1]

You possibly could be right.

I just wanted to point out that what you see/hear is not always true.

Could be a setup.

why would she want to set him up here whike touring? cant really see the benefit. A set up at home would be different as my unfortunate best mate found out. He was no Angel for sure but never laid a hand on her but she called the cops and had a restraining order carried out giving her possesion of the house (they had 3 kids) and got the lot in the end

[PadThaiGuy]

You possibly could be right.

I just wanted to point out that what you see/hear is not always true.

Could be a setup.

why would she want to set him up here whike touring? cant really see the benefit. A set up at home would be different as my unfortunate best mate found out. He was no Angel for sure but never laid a hand on her but she called the cops and had a restraining order carried out giving her possesion of the house (they had 3 kids) and got the lot in the end

My ex told everybody I hit her. Never happened.

Their friends coach them to say stuff like that. Looks great in court and often is a free ticket to staying abroad.

When some girls says she gets smacked around. 90% of the time it's false.

[vinny]

See also Chapter 8 - Family members > Section 4 - Victims of domestic violence and

Chapter 8 - Family members annexes > Annex AB - List of recognised domestic violence organisations.

[Briggsy]

http://www.southallblacksisters.org.uk/research.html

This link talks about legislation provides protection from domestic violence for immigrant women who have not yet secured indefinite leave to remain. It also provides an incentive for dishonest women to falsify claims of domestic violence.

I have absolutely no idea which category your friend is in but I do know that everyone can be fooled even me!

[wasabi]

I agree that there are two sides to the story and sadly lying about being abused does happen when the woman learns its a ticket to stay in the country. That said, assuming this is true I think the best bet is to take her to the Thai embassy and let them sort it out.

[torrenova]

Not being funny and on the basis that the allegations are true, then are you really saying that she has no money, not even £500 or so to get her back to Bangkok ? Surely in the time before marriage and in the time afterwards she has had some money ?

I suggest that he gives her £1000 which she deposits with your wife and if he does anything again then she just goes. If he is unwilling to give her the money now then it is up to you and your wife (and her family in Thailand if they are able to help) to decide whether someone will purchase a ticket for her.

Was any sinsot given ? one explanation for this marvelous arrangement is to secure the wife a payoff should the husband abandon her. This would seem to fit into that category. Does she not have anything to sell, an engagement ring or wedding ring ?

Of course, she could just go to the police who may suggest to him that there will be no charges brought if he can give her some money to get out of the country.

There remains however a chance that it is not 100% kosher and that must be factored into the equation.

Is your wife the only member of her support network or group of friends ? In my expereince of foreign wives in the UK, they have a number of resources to draw upon. Perhaps these people, if they exist, could offer some group assistance even if it is only a collection for her airfare.

[ChangMaiSausage]

Interesting post though not clearly stated does she want to stay in the UK or not? Any children involved?

[mrbojangles]

Interesting post though not clearly stated does she want to stay in the UK or not?

From the original post it seems she wants to go back to Bkk.

she is very scared off him now and wants to go back to bkk but off course she has no money

[Clive sorts]

Hi there all my wife has a friend who is here on a setellment visa with her husband and last night we got phone call from here saying that her husband had hit her (not the first time ) so today we picked her up and brought back to our home,where we find out that her husband has hit her a few times ,he is very relucktent to give her food and money (rather spend it with his mate's, stays out to all hours of the noight ,and when athome all his mates are there drinking etc) and she is very scared off him now and wants to go back to bkk but off course she has no money and her husband will no give her any money, He says he is sorry and it will never happen agian. He likes to drink and smoke (W to much and spend all his time with his mate's.

What can she do?? ring thai embassey for help??? go to police for help???

please help with the right dvice.

Many thanks pete

If we take it she is being beaten by this gentleman & not for the first time, have you seen any evidence of marks, scratches or bruising on her person ?

If there are then this is the time to document this evidence, i.e. photos. etc.

[bread]

From living in the UK any form of domestic violence is now treated very seriously in the eye's of the law and now a days the police do not turn a blind eye to any domestic dispute with as far as I know the law favoring the side of the women (political pressure and general moral values on the subject)

The answer is I think to go to the police the start devoice proceedings on those grounds, Also surely the women must have a bank account or some sort of money tucked away also i guess if you really care about her well being and she wants to go home you can lend her the money the trip one way to Thailand is only about £300 and she would get that back from a devoice settlement.

[Gumballl]

They say never interfere in someone's elses domestics, when it's all ok again you and your wife will be the ones on the outer. And at this point you have only one side of a story anyhow.

What nationality are they, I ask this because you say she is here on a visa, and then wonder if she should go to the Thai embassy?

:D

One side of the story??? The woman undoubtedly had bruises where she was hit (by her spouse).