For me if you can achieve monogamy you are achieving something that we all should be aiming for and if you dont think like that you are probably just kidding yourselves in believing your way is ok.

Straights or gays in a monogamous relationship should be applauded for their commitment to each other. The rest of us should try harder!

You speak like monogamy is the holy grail of a relationship. If that is what you need, to feel your relationship is worthwhile, I hope you find it.

You are discounting many relationships soley on the monogamy aspect. Most relationships have many dimensions to them and for you to dismiss someone's relationship as a "glorified friendship" is quite unfair.

I will applaud any relationship that succeeds whether it is monogamous or not. It is not my place to judge the relationships of others, my place is with my partner to make sure our relationships fits us and that we are happy.

I disagree with almost everything in this post (except that, for those who want it, I have nothing against monogamy). The poster is making the mistake he accuses others of making---attaching too much importance to the sexual side of a relationship. Just because there may be no sex in a relationship after many years does not reduce the relationship to a "glorified friendship"---love is more important than sex at any stage in a relationship. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have had a number of "sammi nois" over the (many) years. I have not been "cheating", and have not felt guilty, because I have always tried to be straightforward and honest, not only with my partner, but with the sammi noi.

The point about being with one partner has nothing to do with sex. If sex stops in a relationship but the love continues then great. My point which you didnt get was that being monagamous with your partner whether sex is involved or not is is a real relationship, for want of a better word. If you are with a guy but shag anything you want outside of that relationship, to me, that is indeed a glorified relationship, again for want of a better word. Being commited to one person in a loving relationship with sex or no sex involved has to be special for those in that relationship. I cant put my finger on what it is or express it in words but I feel this is how love is meant to be between 2 people who are in a relationship. Thats my idea and values, others can do what they like and clearly many of you feel having sex outside is ok for you and some of your bf's. Deep down maybe somewhere hidden its probably not ok on some level but you just dont want to see it. Some have posted where the bf knows about the gik etc. Do you really believe that doesnt affect the bf? I just dont buy into that theory. Its more likely you dont care about the others feelings, a like it or lump it attitude. As for open relationships where both want to play, thats a glorified relationship indeed!

what a interesting topic, keep it going