Technical Support

[WillyL]

Thank you for calling Technical Support.

All of our technicians are currently busy helping people even less competent than you, so please hold for the next available technician.

The waiting time is now estimated at between fifteen minutes and eternity.

In order to expedite your call, please punch your 63-digit product identification number onto your telephone touch pad, followed by your product serial number, which can be found in a secret compartment inside your computer where, for security purposes, is printed in the smallest typeface known to mankind.

Do that now.

[IMA_FARANG]

Thank you for calling Technical Support.

All of our technicians are currently busy helping people even less competent than you, so please hold for the next available technician.

The waiting time is now estimated at between fifteen minutes and eternity.

In order to expedite your call, please punch your 63-digit product identification number onto your telephone touch pad, followed by your product serial number, which can be found in a secret compartment inside your computer where, for security purposes, is printed in the smallest typeface known to mankind.

Do that now.

Hello, Tech service desk, how may I help you?

I'm having problems getting logged into XXXXXXXX

Are you sure you entered your user name and password correctly?

Yes, I've done that but I still can't get in.

What does it say on your screen now?

It sats hit any key to start program.

Well, then hit any key.

But I don't have an any key on my keyboard

Hello, Tech service desk, how may I help you?

My keyboard doesn't work right.

What seems to be wrong with it?

No matter what I type I don't see anything on the screen.

What does it say on your screen now?

Nothing, the screen is just blank. Do I need to turn the power on for the computer to work?

Believe it or not, these are actual calls recorded from callers to a computer help line.