Question For The Unfaithful Guys Out There

[Trevor]

Over here the thrill of the chase is missing. I know I can shag any bird that I want, but have slipped into some kind of reverse psychology, where it's more of a challenge not to.

When I first came to live here I was still in party mode, and split up with my g/f of 2 years as a result. I have now been faithful to my g/f of 18 months, which still amazes me every day.

Yes, well done! Last trip to Thailand I was sex-free for two-and-a-half months. You won't reach true enlightenment until you can say no to sex as well.

Edited April 14, 2008 by Trevor

[GuestHouse]

In support of what Kat says, I have already made the comment that I believe a primary problem here is men viewing women as a commodity and that this arises out of contact with and attitudes from Thailand’s sex trade.

However, I’d go further, in a discussion where men are ‘excusing’ infidelity on the basis of men’s needs ( a facet of masculinity) I would also argue that paying for sex is an act of emasculation.

[Naam]

In support of what Kat says, I have already made the comment that I believe a primary problem here is men viewing women as a commodity and that this arises out of contact with and attitudes from Thailand’s sex trade.

However, I’d go further, in a discussion where men are ‘excusing’ infidelity on the basis of men’s needs ( a facet of masculinity) I would also argue that paying for sex is an act of emasculation.

basically i agree with you GH but what alternatives do exist for the pot-bellied ugly old farang in his home country? a hundred €URos for half an hour with a hooker? let him/them have some fun in the Land Of Smile and at the same time assist thai economy by curing sick buffaloes and perhaps financing a better life for the in-laws.

LIVE AND LET LIVE!

[GuestHouse]

In support of what Kat says, I have already made the comment that I believe a primary problem here is men viewing women as a commodity and that this arises out of contact with and attitudes from Thailand’s sex trade.

However, I’d go further, in a discussion where men are ‘excusing’ infidelity on the basis of men’s needs ( a facet of masculinity) I would also argue that paying for sex is an act of emasculation.

basically i agree with you GH but what alternatives do exist for the pot-bellied ugly old farang in his home country? a hundred €URos for half an hour with a hooker? let him/them have some fun in the Land Of Smile and at the same time assist thai economy by curing sick buffaloes and perhaps financing a better life for the in-laws.

LIVE AND LET LIVE!

Fair enough, but let's add the full spectrum here and include the social misfits and dregs of western society that Thailand attracts in such large numbers and then having agreed on the limit of the options open to these guys, let us also see the constant bleating about western women that comes as part of the boxed set for what it is.

[siamamerican]

In support of what Kat says, I have already made the comment that I believe a primary problem here is men viewing women as a commodity and that this arises out of contact with and attitudes from Thailand’s sex trade.

However, I’d go further, in a discussion where men are ‘excusing’ infidelity on the basis of men’s needs ( a facet of masculinity) I would also argue that paying for sex is an act of emasculation.

You are square. Let loose for a day and see what the other half might have to offer. Constantly viewing the world from your rigid perspective does limit the extent of which you could enjoy the variety life has to offer.

We get it - you're pure and believe in working until you're 100% sure you have enough( other posts) . Hey, my good side even respects you, but try being a semi-bad every now and then.

If I look back on my life and weigh my negative and positive contributions to society, I would be negative at this point. I have to be more like you the next 10 years and you're positive balance is making me look bad.

[Lithobid]

It's completely natural for a man to have sex with as many women as possible. That's why us humans are still here. Promiscuity got us where we are today.

It's still the norm in many parts of the world for a successful man to have many wives.

However, the rise of the feminie movement in the western world has seen an attempt to <deleted> with nature and has tried to dictate to us "disgusting, perverted men" as to how we should go against 3 million years of evolution and stop screwing around.

Personally, I love all of my girlfriends and I treat them like princesses and they love me back because of that.

Asian girls are far more advanced and intelligent in their thinking when it comes to men. The 2 girls I'm with now (1 in Thai & 1 in Cambo, both average girls in clerical jobs) have both hinted that it's ok for me to screw around as long as they never find out nor any of their friends/family find out. They know and respect men far more than their farang sisters which makes for great relationships, IMHO.

This is the way I think of it, I'm a (M) and in all my relationships, the only twist I add is asking my GF is it ok if I have a relationship with this other person. If she say's yes then I do, if she say's no, then no way, that way we keep mutual respect for eachother, especially in terms of the ammount of diseases there are out there, it's vice versa for her as well. We've both slept with others, and I suppose there are some she hasn't told me about, as there are some I haven't told her about, but I don't think she'd mind, nor would I. At the end of teh day, the buck stops with us.

[Naam]

In support of what Kat says, I have already made the comment that I believe a primary problem here is men viewing women as a commodity and that this arises out of contact with and attitudes from Thailand’s sex trade.

However, I’d go further, in a discussion where men are ‘excusing’ infidelity on the basis of men’s needs ( a facet of masculinity) I would also argue that paying for sex is an act of emasculation.

basically i agree with you GH but what alternatives do exist for the pot-bellied ugly old farang in his home country? a hundred €URos for half an hour with a hooker? let him/them have some fun in the Land Of Smile and at the same time assist thai economy by curing sick buffaloes and perhaps financing a better life for the in-laws.

LIVE AND LET LIVE!

Fair enough, but let's add the full spectrum here and include the social misfits and dregs of western society that Thailand attracts in such large numbers and then having agreed on the limit of the options open to these guys, let us also see the constant bleating about western women that comes as part of the boxed set for what it is.

i'd like to participate more in this discussion but -contrary to my view expressed a few weeks ago - i can't match your command of the english language. in other words i am at a loss and don't have a real clue what you are trying to say. what about rephrasing and use simple language we foreigners can comprehend?

[YoungFarang13]

i feel like i am about as social with my partner then i will ever be with another female. i am not a very social person so when i hear of the constant talk of spending every waking moment with your partner and directing 110% of your energy in their direction and never so much as thinking of another woman because your partner is your divine soul mate... i don't know what to say except its just not me.

sometimes i am in a restaurant and i overhear the conversation between a couple and its obvious that they are deriving satisfaction from wasting time and discussing a completely boring and arbitrary topic. some couples can go on hours like this, directing their attention fully at each other. people tell me "well you have not found someone who can challenge you"... i have not been 'challenged' in the sense that they mean since I was 16 years old. i challenge myself by being competitive in my work and life and meeting goals. i prefer physical human interaction and even observing. the cynic in me says that those who are easily 'challenged' are less competitive and intellectually inferior.

[Naam]

the cynic in me says that those who are easily 'challenged' are less competitive and intellectually inferior.

not all of us were meant to be super human beings like you... little boy

[GuestHouse]

You are square. Let loose for a day and see what the other half might have to offer. Constantly viewing the world from your rigid perspective does limit the extent of which you could enjoy the variety life has to offer.

We get it - you're pure and believe in working until you're 100% sure you have enough( other posts) . Hey, my good side even respects you, but try being a semi-bad every now and then.

If I look back on my life and weigh my negative and positive contributions to society, I would be negative at this point. I have to be more like you the next 10 years and you're positive balance is making me look bad.

Stick to your day job.... you're <deleted> at judging what other people are really like.

Edited April 14, 2008 by GuestHouse

[pop_corn]

Buy her this book: 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands'. Read it first, and then find a way to give it to her. She may freak out at first, but be patient.

so..... Are you saying you can learn to be a good wife by a book? O_o!!!! ...

[pampal]

to the OP:

What is there to be afraid of?

If it's that scary to you don't do it

[OxfordWill]

the cynic in me says that those who are easily 'challenged' are less competitive and intellectually inferior.

Spot on Listen to the cynic, he will see you through.

[siamamerican]

You are square. Let loose for a day and see what the other half might have to offer. Constantly viewing the world from your rigid perspective does limit the extent of which you could enjoy the variety life has to offer.

We get it - you're pure and believe in working until you're 100% sure you have enough( other posts) . Hey, my good side even respects you, but try being a semi-bad every now and then.

If I look back on my life and weigh my negative and positive contributions to society, I would be negative at this point. I have to be more like you the next 10 years and you're positive balance is making me look bad.

Stick to your day job.... you're <deleted> at judging what other people are really like.

Really? Please tell us about those wild days you had at band camp. Did I touch a nerve?

[dee123]

You are square. Let loose for a day and see what the other half might have to offer. Constantly viewing the world from your rigid perspective does limit the extent of which you could enjoy the variety life has to offer.

We get it - you're pure and believe in working until you're 100% sure you have enough( other posts) . Hey, my good side even respects you, but try being a semi-bad every now and then.

If I look back on my life and weigh my negative and positive contributions to society, I would be negative at this point. I have to be more like you the next 10 years and you're positive balance is making me look bad.

Stick to your day job.... you're <deleted> at judging what other people are really like.

Really? Please tell us about those wild days you had at band camp. Did I touch a nerve?

..

Edited April 15, 2008 by dee123

[dee123]

....sorry I've been on vacation in Hawaii,....did I miss anything?

[YangYaiEric]

Hey Kat!

REALLY like your chioce of avitar! That water-melon looks soooo enticing May I ask what made you choose it?

[YangYaiEric]

It's completely natural for a man to have sex with as many women as possible. That's why us humans are still here. Promiscuity got us where we are today.

It's still the norm in many parts of the world for a successful man to have many wives.

However, the rise of the feminie movement in the western world has seen an attempt to <deleted> with nature and has tried to dictate to us "disgusting, perverted men" as to how we should go against 3 million years of evolution and stop screwing around.

Personally, I love all of my girlfriends and I treat them like princesses and they love me back because of that.

Asian girls are far more advanced and intelligent in their thinking when it comes to men. The 2 girls I'm with now (1 in Thai & 1 in Cambo, both average girls in clerical jobs) have both hinted that it's ok for me to screw around as long as they never find out nor any of their friends/family find out. They know and respect men far more than their farang sisters which makes for great relationships, IMHO.

Top post chief!!!

I would add that if the OP ever does decide to play away NEVER I repeat NEVER tell the wife!!!

NEVER!!

Nothing good will ever come of it!!

If you do feel guilty you will just have to suck it up and take it like a man!!

Absoultely spot-on comment, mr. hignlander. Top pole! The wife NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW!

To some extent, the husband playing around outside the Reserve is part-and-parcel of the Asian way of life; its accepted, just as long as it stays covered-up, hush-hush. If the chap can live with it, and rationalise it (and doesnt bring home any NASTY suprises ), then we can ALL be happy !

[vtwin]

Guys, one thing that occurred to me while reading this thread is that it's full of ego. And I mean, chock-full. There's two sides:

1 - Cheaters or sympathizers who use all sorts of rationalizations to explain what in reality is just their ego - makes them feel better to be "loved" by many, or to nail many, hormones..

2 - Non-cheaters, who get an even bigger ego kick out of feeling better than those above. So righteous, and looking down on others.

Same goes for feeling guilty - getting a big kick out of that, aren't we. Guilty guilty guilty, the ego loves it. It's our christian tradition, no one can feel guilty quite like us.

IMHO cheat if you want but please don't feel guilty, that would just be silly. Next thing you know you'll take it out on your gf and "confess", causing hurt for all involved.

YoungFarang please break up with her, it's really all you need to do. Alternatively try to fix your sex life - try everything, everything under the sun, but try it quickly so you don't waste your time... I have been there myself when I was a young farang and later on cursed myself that I stuck with "her" for far too long. 7 years of bad sex, after which it took a while to make up for it

You want to find a woman who understands your needs and can fill them. Find a woman like smileah... seriously.

I think what smileah said is pretty common knowledge amongst the fairer sex and the wife dropped some hints in this direction. Many women know it's true - sadly, not all and I am not even sure it's the majority. Hard to tell because I have only had 1 serious gf and 1 wife - so far the knowledge seems to be spread 50-50

Still I am going to find a way to get that book to the wife... can't hurt...

[Heng]

You want to find a woman who understands your needs and can fill them.

How's she going to "fill" the need of having 2-3 girls at the same time (you know, two to watch tv while the other one tends to you)?

[zaza]

basically i agree with you GH but what alternatives do exist for the pot-bellied ugly old farang in his home country? a hundred €URos for half an hour with a hooker? let him/them have some fun in the Land Of Smile and at the same time assist thai economy by curing sick buffaloes and perhaps financing a better life for the in-laws.

LIVE AND LET LIVE!

I think a 100 Euros per 30 minutes is nothing comparing to 5600$ for an hour that Eliot Spitzer had paid for Ashley Alexandra Dupré. Not to mention;losing his family,job, his political future.

I think this man is a true living losers' "Idol" for cheating men with idle upper heads .

[happyman32]

Hello All,

I lost my first ever post in TV - so I will start again.

Here are some perhaps irrelevant facts:

Biology 101:

Every organism perform/consists of 5 basic functions - Birth, Consumption (air, food, resources), Excretion (waste, CO2), Procreation, Death.

The Western world in particular does not procreate enough so there are no births, but we consume and excrete in enormous amounts. So what is left? Death!

According to the media the Thai birth rate sits at 1.64 (just go to Empire Tower Sathorn and see all the single women). In Australia, the birth rate in the 1960s was 3.2, now it stands (despite Baby Boomer children being of reproductive age; there has been a "blip") of 1.84. The ex-Federal Treasurer of Australia asked Australians to: "have 1 for mum, have 1 for dad and have 1 for the country". Due to the less than replacement birth rates the future will see less children and therefore a smaller personal tax base. In the early 1970s, welfare (pensions, single mothers pensions, unemployment benefits) represented less than 10% of the Federal Budget; now it stands at over 50%). Again the ex-Federal Treasurer's proposed solution is "work until you die".

At these birth rates these countries populations will severely decline. One solution is massive immigration from non-white countries. Some of the social problems such influxes generate can be seen in the relatively recent riots in France and Bondi (Sydney - Lebanese youth vs Aussie youth).

By the way, about 80% of India's population is under 30. And God said the meek shall inherit the Earth! In addition there was a BBC program that showed whole villages of men who lived together and self-abused with drugs and alcohol as they cannot find elligible women. In some provinces of China there are up to 30 million more males than females.

An Australian female journalist with over 20 years experience in Asia wrote a book (sorry don't remember the title). She interviewed Asian women throughout Asia from highly educated/"successful" women to the lowest in the socio-economic ladder. Her conclusion - women have only swapped 1 for of oppression (economic dependence on male as breadwinner) for another (long hours for low pay as amn employee of a company). I think she was a little embarrassed by her conclusions. In addition there are numerous studies which show that as women become more educated the commensurate birth rate declines. Singapore is so concerned that they try to encourage educated men and women to pair up and breed by providing free singles nights.

Why do I go on abaout this? Well maybe this is a little off-topic; but women - you are the compassionate providers of love and caring in society. Without you doing your "job" society suffers and dies.

Men - with freedom comes responsibility.

I have a lot more to add - maybe another time.

Peace to you all.

The Thailand

[Neeranam]

I would also argue that paying for sex is an act of emasculation.

Sometimes It would just be for convenience, I would imagine.

It is so sad to hear the cheaters say that their "Thai wife" wouldn't mind - utter <deleted>, what women wouldn't mind?

[Jefferson]

...and i know there are a ton of you, probably more than half of you are unfaithful to your wife or girl friend. logically, i don't see the harm in cheating but my conscience keeps getting the best of me. how did you get over your fear? i tell myself

1. your sex drive is stronger than hers

Actually, no, my gf's sex drive is stronger than mine. So this can't be the reason.

2. you think about sex a million times more than she does and initiate sex 90% of the time

Eh, no, again.

3. you are still there for her and do not love her less if you cheat on her

Of course. That goes without saying. Why call it 'cheat' by the way? That implies someone is cheated out of something.

4. its not your nature to be with one women only

Actually it is in my nature to be with one women only. I couldn't begin to comprehend the desire to have a second wife, mistress, mia noi, etc. Jesus, one is more than enough!

5. you only want the other women for sex

No, I want to flirt and have fun with them too. Or they're 'just good friends' in addition to having sex with them.

6. you dont like everything about yourself but you cant change yourself

Huh, I seriously think you think too much. I like myself just fine.

but still, i cannot get over the long years of living in the West and the stuff they filled my brain with. there is always the fear there.

If you love your significant other then it's your duty and responsibility to make sure she doesn't find out so isn't hurt or bothered.

Obviously most Thai males do not having any fear in this area.

Source?

[koto]

its really hard to get hiv from vaginal sex. your friend was very unlucky. i think its like 1/10000 without a condom.

No the odds are more like 1/2000 & that is if she has no other std's. If she is co-infected with anything else, such as herpes, gonorhea or clamydia (sp) then those odds dramatically shift to like 1/500 or worse.

I don't believe in condoms.... I don't believe they work as well as claimed, although the studies are contrary to that. But I am a big HIV phobic, so I would rather go without both the sex & HIV.... that way I know for sure I have no worries.

My wife, bless her, has decided sex is something done for procreation only... (I guess that is her thinking). "Her words were something like, I don't want to have sex with you, & I have absolutely no desire too."

So now, I essentially have a sexless marriage. Nothing to be proud of, but after 3 years... I have learned to cope.

Yea I know it stinks really, fact is I just recently saw on Oprah a doctor state that you should have sex 4 times a week & the reseach suggests this will pro-long your life. Well that would be a years worth for me! I should die soon, I guess.

Good luck to us all.

HEY CHILDREN, YOU CAN ALWAYS CHOKE THE CHICKEN, GET WITH THE PROGRAM, ONE SHOULD NEVER CUT OFF THEIR NOSE TO SPITE THEIR FACE

[deejah]

its not 'cheating' if you are not married

and never promised or eluded to being exclusive or

monogamous

but be careful

there are unwritten/unspoken rules

its always a trade off

for life in general as well as relationships:

to thy own self be true

(you must know yourself)

life is short

don't compromise your values

be thankful for what you have

and be present in the moment as much as possible

let go (forget about the past and the future, the past is dead the future imagined)

most of the time, you have more than enough of

everything you need right now to be happy

i leave it to the rest of you to be witty and pithy

[clausewitz]

good question. any cheaters got the answer?

Well my very long time GF is truly beautiful, much younger than me, faithful and loving. Asks for more sex more often than I give her.

But show me any beautiful woman and there will be a man who is bored with ^&*ing her.

It is hard to be satisfied with only one or two or three women at a time.

[bkkblueeyes]

Got a thing for that thing she got

The way she make it shake, the way she make it pop

Make it rain for us so she don't stop

I ain't got to move, I can sit and watch

In her fantasy, there's plain to see

Just how it be, on me, backstrokin', sweat soaking

All into my set sheets

When she ready to ride, I'm ready to roll

I'll be in this bitch till the club close

What should I do, one thing on all fours

Now that that shit should be against the law

From side to side, let the ride, break it down

You know I like, when you hike and you throw it all around

Different style, different move, dam_n I like the way you move

Girl you got me thinking about, all the things I do to you

Let's get it poppin' shorty we can switch positions

From the couch to the counters in my kitchen

Don’t hate the player Hate the game!

[DirkGently]

.....fair comment britmaveric but as you might know sometimes the opposition trap u,...i challenge any male poster on this board to tell me he's never woken up in a strange hotel room with a slim brown thing lying next to him

Am I reading that right?

Generally I go to the bathroom before I hit the hay. However, if you wake up with a slim brown thing in your bed, you should some adult night pants at Tesco.

[DirkGently]

Why do so many posts refer to sex straight away?

I used to see a Japanese girl several times a week for lunch/dinner/coffee etc! It was rather romantic. It was quite some time before we stayed together. That was clearly cheating as we both knew about the other's partner.

I showed proper respect to my partner by only going to places we had never been and therefore was unlikely to be seen.

In fact I'd like to meet someone else like that.