When one asks a Thai a simple question which only requires a (yes) or a (no) answer the reply one gets is "no problem" or silence as if the question is not understood.

What does "no problem " mean?

well if you ask, "can i get extra butter?" and they say no problem, that means yes.

whats hard to understand?

I've been in this bizarre land for three years and lost hope of ever understanding the asian mind until I read two books: Working with the Thais and Wandering Through Thai Culture. Please get a hold of these, read and I'm sure much of the intensity of your frustration and amazement at Thai behavior will be reduced. I'm afraid though that once you understand the basic tenents this culture is based on, you may find it even less acceptable than before. I have tried to accept this culture but I cannot lie to myself anymore... I cannot accept this culture on principle. Hope you find your way in this place.

OK Monkey. Enjoy your flight home.

Are you sure it's the Thai person who has the problem?

BKKMICK, always amazed at the "go home" comments in these posts! Are you really attempting to force to me out of here? If you're going to respond, please give me a developed thought. Oh well, consider the source is what they always say. But seriously; can you really not let another have their opinion? This kind of thinking that produces this kind of response is actually more challenging to fathom than trying to understand and make a conclusion about a foreign culture. MADJBS, yes, isn't is obvious that I had a problem with Thai culture... which is why I went searching for some perspective and information which I did not possess in the first place? Send up a flare when you have a point to express. Cheers.

I often meet problems with the correct response or even any response. The one I like the best is that they ( shop assistants/waiters) you know, "service" people (service not being the operative word) just smile walk away and forget everything. Actually I don't believe they froget they just don't wanna. Two recent examples 1. MK suki, I order a large heineken from a staff member: smile , walk away, nothing happens. I repeat this process with a different staff member yeah you guessed it exactly the same. So, I located the manager and ordered my bottle directly from her. Problem solved. 2. Yesterday, Oishi, I got up to get some food came back to the table noticed a staff member clearing it and the food that was on the table I asked her why did she take my food away: Zero response , no apology, nothin, she just walked away. Her friend noticed what had happened, took my number and about 10 minutes later my food was re-delivered to the table.

Seriously, yes their mostly nice people and all that yada, yada , yada, BUT really the lights are on with many of these people but thereis definately no one home. However, as long as they intend to live and stay in Thailand and not want to go overseas to earn a living they will be OK.

The problem is there is no training , no supervision, no responsibility, no correction buy a superior because on many occassions the surerior is just as bad , pay peanuts get monkeys. These people would absolutely not survive outside of Thailand.

"Yes" means I heard you. "No" is the same in any language. You can change "no" to "yes" by asking the question again. You can be guaranteed a "yes" by raising you voice to ask the question. "No problem" is the same as "yes" but with more emphasis. Now getting anything done, like getting some butter at a restaurant, is a subject for a whole other forum.

I hope this clears up you dilemma.

Monkey: Anyone who makes a comment like "I cannot accept this culture on principle?" Sounds like they shouldn't bother living here (10 years myself). Go home sounds like an appropriate move for you. Stop wasting your time with these 'complicated' people as you see it. In business, married (7th Anniversary today), kids at school. I've never had a communication problem worthy of mentioning. I'm sure that Thai people find us as confusing as we find them at times.

Monkey: Anyone who makes a comment like "I cannot accept this culture on principle?" Sounds like they shouldn't bother living here (10 years myself). Go home sounds like an appropriate move for you. Stop wasting your time with these 'complicated' people as you see it. In business, married (7th Anniversary today), kids at school. I've never had a communication problem worthy of mentioning. I'm sure that Thai people find us as confusing as we find them at times.

Well, it may have to do with a certain position, level and where, under which circumstances you have to deliver as a farang!

I don't think that it has to do with how long one does live and work here, I think it depends very much on the situation one finds himself in!

I had some very, very hair raising bad, bad experiences, still it doesn't make me think a second about "running home", no it just tells me that here as anywhere else, it's not all gold what shines and certainly a smile is not always genuine smile... concerning "the Land of Smiles" and some attitudes people do have, in the Land of politeness and ever happypeople - it's a farce!

Much is either silenced, wiped "under the carpet", or made non-existent!

The ball is in your court now!

Straight communication is next to impossible here, because of little or no English skills or their incliniation to tell you what they think you want to hear or to tell you something that will not diminish their stature in a conversation, ie the so-called face-saving.

You have to be aware of the response to a "double negative" type question too.

Ask a Thai "you won't forget to do that will you?" and the response will be "yes" which, grammatically is correct "Yes, I will not forget to do that" however the response a Westerner is expecting is "No" .

Patrick

Straight communication is next to impossible here, because of little or no English skills or their incliniation to tell you what they think you want to hear or to tell you something that will not diminish their stature in a conversation, ie the so-called face-saving.

Or because of little or no Thai skills ?

At least that's my main problem...

Or because of little or no Thai skills ?

At least that's my main problem...

I can identify with this, but I am working on it

Straight communication is next to impossible here, because of little or no English skills or their incliniation to tell you what they think you want to hear or to tell you something that will not diminish their stature in a conversation, ie the so-called face-saving.

I hear what you're saying but have you considered that if you live in Thailand you are actually in a foreign country (if you happen to come from somewhere else). How pompous are some of us to think that communication is difficult because they don't speak English. I actually appreciate the fact that many Thais at least attempt to speak English. I'm sure the majority of Thais communicate quite well with each other and with the foreigners who went to the trouble to learn the Thai language.

Straight communication is next to impossible here, because of little or no English skills or their incliniation to tell you what they think you want to hear or to tell you something that will not diminish their stature in a conversation, ie the so-called face-saving.

Or because of little or no Thai skills ?

At least that's my main problem...

This is a problem in any language.

In the U.K. we all know it as marital deafness ( not only marital i might add )

My family send me into dispair sometimes when answering a question, they obviously hear what they think they hear, as another gem goes.

I tend to then ask something that enriches them in some way to get a positive reply, then walk away without further imput, to demonstrate what it is like and laugh at them when they do react.

It usually works for awhile.

marshbags

Edited April 21, 200818 yr by marshbags

Straight communication is next to impossible here, because of little or no English skills or their incliniation to tell you what they think you want to hear or to tell you something that will not diminish their stature in a conversation, ie the so-called face-saving.

I hear what you're saying but have you considered that if you live in Thailand you are actually in a foreign country (if you happen to come from somewhere else). How pompous are some of us to think that communication is difficult because they don't speak English. I actually appreciate the fact that many Thais at least attempt to speak English. I'm sure the majority of Thais communicate quite well with each other and with the foreigners who went to the trouble to learn the Thai language.

In that case ... Why do they "Re-enact" crimes

Naka.

Straight communication is next to impossible here, because of little or no English skills or their incliniation to tell you what they think you want to hear or to tell you something that will not diminish their stature in a conversation, ie the so-called face-saving.

I hear what you're saying but have you considered that if you live in Thailand you are actually in a foreign country (if you happen to come from somewhere else). How pompous are some of us to think that communication is difficult because they don't speak English. I actually appreciate the fact that many Thais at least attempt to speak English. I'm sure the majority of Thais communicate quite well with each other and with the foreigners who went to the trouble to learn the Thai language.

Language skills are obviously a very important part of communication. I am asked often why I do not speak Thai after 11 years in the country. I have tried to learn, and will accumulate some more words over time, but I will NEVER speak good Thai. And why would I really? What would I talk about, and with whom? I live outside Pattaya, and goes to BKK now and then. Hardly ever to rural areas, and if so, my g/f is there to help.

Of course it would be a nice thing to understand and speak (and read and write), to show respect, and help me through some difficult situations. But in the situations I would need Thai language, and in the places I would find myself needing it, there is most of the time someone who can help.

And get this, my g/f sometimes even can't get the store/hotel/whatever staff to understand. And she is Thai. She has walked out of Homepro and similar stores in disgust a couple of times, due to the lack of understanding from the staff. Now how would I do in comparison?

Please feel free to flame me, I have thick skin!

I think Thai's should only speak english.

I think Thai's should only speak english.

So you do think?

Well done!

As for questions, we naturally think a question should be answered. No, often not. A negative question with a positive ending tag does not deserve to be answered correctly. An embarrassing question, likewise. Any question that would result in "mai kojai" is embarrassing. Many of our questions are frivolous. We care about things the Thais do not care about. We pose nonsense hypotheticals which they ignore. They sometimes do not know why we are asking such a question, so they give us an answer to another problem.

After five years together, my partner understands my English almost perfectly. Much of my speech is unneeded, and he does not respond. Sometimes he still infuriates me for two seconds, but I get over it in five seconds. If I rephrase my question to explain why it matters to me, I usually get a good answer.

My Thai bosses often just did not answer my question. I got used to it. It was not their job to educate me. Being teachers, they sometimes did not answer students, either.

Mr. Burns: "Homer, you did not forget to close the safety valve did you?

Homer: "Yes"

Homer: "No"

If you were Mr. Burns, which of the answers would you be comfortable with, going home for a weekend of Springfield fun?

Thais are bad communicators (by our Western standards / expectations) - amongst themselves, with foreigners, in Thai and English. Responsibility is no existent, pride in work hard to find, and general expectations on oneself pretty low it seems.

Doesn't mean I don't like Thai people or like living here. Its just a point. Can be d*mned frustrating though...!

I've been in this bizarre land for three years and lost hope of ever understanding the asian mind until I read two books: Working with the Thais and Wandering Through Thai Culture. Please get a hold of these, read and I'm sure much of the intensity of your frustration and amazement at Thai behavior will be reduced. I'm afraid though that once you understand the basic tenents this culture is based on, you may find it even less acceptable than before. I have tried to accept this culture but I cannot lie to myself anymore... I cannot accept this culture on principle. Hope you find your way in this place.

Are you still here????????

and general expectations on oneself pretty low it seems.

Thai women married to Farangs ?

Straight communication is next to impossible here, because of little or no English skills or their incliniation to tell you what they think you want to hear or to tell you something that will not diminish their stature in a conversation, ie the so-called face-saving.

Many a time I've seen the unlit bulb and tried to say (in Thai) what I was first trying to get across in a completely different way or fashion. When in doubt, RFM (read the f.. manual), there's a plethora of books out there as well as online courses, discussions, papers, anecdotes, and some funny stories to the mysteries of the LOS. BTW - it took me 8 years of studying many different ways / methods to learn rudimentary Thai and I'm still learning the culture (28 years now). Hint: it's not always in black and white AND another sensible piece of advice: "When in Rome, do as ......"

Wait until you as this same type of question to a Indian who nods head sideways in answer and may or may not be speaking Thai. 'Excuse me', may get their attention to return to orginal question, or it may not.

I would be lying if I did not admit I've had many communication problems here.

The first step I took to deal with it was trying to learn the language. That does not eliminate communication problems, but it certainly helps a bit.

The next step was to learn more about the culture, which also helps a bit.

The next step after that was accepting that the general education level here is lower, and that many aren't used to thinking outside of the box. This made me realize I need to be extra clear, sometimes annoyingly clear and persistent (by local standards), if I want to communicate effectively.

The next step after that was realizing that life will always involve misunderstandings and that I need to handle my temper better, that every country including this one has a fair share of completely ignorant idiots, and to avoid dealing with these people whenever possible.

These days I feel it mostly goes okay, but I keep learning.

I hear the sound of ulcers growing....

I am new to Thailand but my mate who I have always traveled there with has been traveling to Thailand for 20 odd years on business and his Thai is pretty good, one thing that struck me was you would jump in a cab and he would repeat to the driver like 5 times where we are going and I am like " christ dude the guy knows where we are going, he said he understands" 10 minutes later the guy is asking so where are we going. It always cracks me up.