How Much Do You Pay Your Thai Fiance's Mom?

[huggybear]

Excuse all the scarcasm from some hard-boiled members here, such as myself. But seriously, you should consider a few things and I have some questions. What are your ages/ Where did you meet her and how long have you known her? Do you plan to marry her and take her back to your country to live? You mention her Mother. Does she have a Father & is he with the Mother & supporting the family? I think you ment to say her Uncle can live on 8,000 bht not dollars. $500 U.S. is a lot of money to be handing her every month. If you want to pay sin sod, I would tell them that the monthly payments stop in the future then. This talk from other posters about getting the sin sod returned is a pretty "iffy" thing. In many case I know, the family has no such intentions and they expect monthly subsidy as well. Do you no for a fact that another Farang paid $2 million bht, or is this second hand story from her family to enhance the kitty (pot od money)?

I'm 42 and she is 20. We met one year ago and are now in the final days before she may get her fiancé Visa to come to the US. She lives with her Mother and Father and 14 year old sister. They own a home and two pieces of land which the mother and father grow rice and corn crops. The father works periodically as a construction worker and maintenance man. In short, they do okay. The have one of the best houses on the street. But all-in-all they're still are poor.

Yes, her uncle (from South Carolina) lives on 8000 Baht. The $2M is a story coming from my fiancé about another mother in town getting said sum. I'm don't believe the story necessarily. After living in the area a short time, I know the stories are often BS with a lot of the ladies competing with one another.

You take her to the states and guaranteed this relationship will be over.

What do you think other American women are going to tell her about a 20 year old with a 42 year old man? When you send her off to school or whereever on her own and she meets guys her own age who are interested, you think she will stick around? Stepping stone anybody?

Is where you are planning on taking her warm? Have Thai food there (real Thai food, not shabby Thai restaurants with Korean cooks).

I can't tell you how many women I have met here (100 or so?), who have gone back to the UK, USA, Oz, wherever, only to become very unhappy and return to LOS with a nice bank account and monthly stipend.

Think it through mate, and yes 15,000 a month is too much.

[a2396]

If it's true that another Farang in the village forked out 2 million baht (and it's most probably not) then there's the 'face thing' to consider that they want your fiance to be seen to be worth more.

Also as someone else has pointed out you are paying monthly double what her Farang uncle lives on a month so count up how much you've already paid and deduct that from the maximum sum for the sin sot (200k baht).

As that is still a lot of money to pay to a Thai village family in 1 hit I'd even suggest you try to agree to pay the sin sot over, say 3 years, then you can argue you don't need to pay the monthly amount anymore.

You may very well be on to something - saving face. As the story goes, it is her bitter enemy from high school and next door neighbor who's farang fiance provided the money. The whole street dislikes these neighbors. There was a lot of chatter about 2M Baht the last time I was there but turned out to be untrue, or delayed, who knows. She is a sweet heart when things are fine. But when these things come up she gets very upset. Tonight she is crying, crying, crying, .......

The lump sum idea and the payments after I start working were all discussed earlier. The mother is easy going and does not expect the mother-load. What the mother and grandmother really want is for her to go live in the US.

I think you are going to have quite a handfull, to say the least. Taking a 20 year old to live in USA is total culture shock & unless she is very sophisticated & cosmopolitan, which I doubt, she will be up for all sorts of "temptations". Not surprising the 2 million story is a Fairy Tale. I hope her education and English skills are good enough that she can obtain some sort of reasonable employment, to keep her a bit "goal oriented" when she is living there. Having her sittiing around the house & watching the "soaps" is not a good idea.

[TopDogger]

i still reckon she's playing you like a violin.

just cause he is double her age does not mean that she is playing him. its pretty common for 14-20 yo thai girls to cry when their boyfriend or parents says no to something or that its their bedtime.

14-30?

[MidoriApple]

I....err..would like to say something....

but please don't expect me to take care all of this.

I am not yet married, so know quite less about Sinsod...

I agree with YoungFarang13 that "sinsod" is A Thai "GOOD" tradition for Marriage.

The amount is depended on individual, just to show that husband can afford his wife-to-be

as in past time, women tend to raise the children, take care of all house-things...so she cannot has her own money

Husband will take care of all house's expenses.

This money may be returned back to the couple afterward or give tho the woman's parents if they are poor

or may be used for the ceremony expense.

But nowadays, women mostly go out to work and can stand on her own.

Thai people mostly give money to parents every month,

what if husband wants wife to quit the job, so husband may pay sum of the money to parents-in-law.

but what if wife still works, this is her own responsibility...not the husband.

So...in this day, Sinsod is not stickly tradition..that Thai "A MUST" to do so...

Seen when my sister got married, my bro-in-law gave sinsod a sum amount, i can't remember how much

My mom put in her sum amount too, and gave all of them back to the couple.

what if I get married, there may be none.... as I said SINSOD is up to individual family.

................

to the OP, i would like to say... don't answer how much but ask how much do they want.

Say to your GF, that you are poor. and you can negotiate....and pay the amount you think it is appropriate.

I don't know your girl, she may be good but her parents may be not. (sorry to be so blunt)

don't be a victim of gold-diggers. Love is nothing about the money..

................

The best way is WESTERNERS, PLEASE AVOID GETTING MARRIED WITH ANY THAI 'COW-SICK' GIRLS!!!

Stop spoiling them....

Thai society now is worse and worse with this getting married with rich foreigners idea....

Stop consuming...NO DEMAND, SO NO SUPPLY!!!!

[jmapodaca]

Excuse all the scarcasm from some hard-boiled members here, such as myself. But seriously, you should consider a few things and I have some questions. What are your ages/ Where did you meet her and how long have you known her? Do you plan to marry her and take her back to your country to live? You mention her Mother. Does she have a Father & is he with the Mother & supporting the family? I think you ment to say her Uncle can live on 8,000 bht not dollars. $500 U.S. is a lot of money to be handing her every month. If you want to pay sin sod, I would tell them that the monthly payments stop in the future then. This talk from other posters about getting the sin sod returned is a pretty "iffy" thing. In many case I know, the family has no such intentions and they expect monthly subsidy as well. Do you no for a fact that another Farang paid $2 million bht, or is this second hand story from her family to enhance the kitty (pot od money)?

I'm 42 and she is 20. We met one year ago and are now in the final days before she may get her fiancé Visa to come to the US. She lives with her Mother and Father and 14 year old sister. They own a home and two pieces of land which the mother and father grow rice and corn crops. The father works periodically as a construction worker and maintenance man. In short, they do okay. The have one of the best houses on the street. But all-in-all they're still are poor.

Yes, her uncle (from South Carolina) lives on 8000 Baht. The $2M is a story coming from my fiancé about another mother in town getting said sum. I'm don't believe the story necessarily. After living in the area a short time, I know the stories are often BS with a lot of the ladies competing with one another.

You take her to the states and guaranteed this relationship will be over.

What do you think other American women are going to tell her about a 20 year old with a 42 year old man? When you send her off to school or whereever on her own and she meets guys her own age who are interested, you think she will stick around? Stepping stone anybody?

Is where you are planning on taking her warm? Have Thai food there (real Thai food, not shabby Thai restaurants with Korean cooks).

I can't tell you how many women I have met here (100 or so?), who have gone back to the UK, USA, Oz, wherever, only to become very unhappy and return to LOS with a nice bank account and monthly stipend.

Think it through mate, and yes 15,000 a month is too much.

I realize there is a risk with this marriage. I'll protect myself the best I can with a pre-nup.

If she comes, she'll be here in Los Angeles with a Thai community and lot's of good Thai restaurants.

[Dave the Dude]

You may very well be on to something - saving face. As the story goes, it is her bitter enemy from high school and next door neighbor who's farang fiance provided the money. The whole street dislikes these neighbors. There was a lot of chatter about 2M Baht the last time I was there but turned out to be untrue, or delayed, who knows.

So you already know this is a load of B@llocks, then

She is a sweet heart when things are fine. But when these things come up she gets very upset. Tonight she is crying, crying, crying, .......

She is a very young girl who probably as already learnt to 'turn on the waterworks to order'

The lump sum idea and the payments after I start working were all discussed earlier. The mother is easy going and does not expect the mother-load. What the mother and grandmother really want is for her to go live in the US.

The mother has already hit the JACKPOT on a monthly basis

Hi jmapodaca

You need to tell her and the family 'selective truths.'

1. You have been very generous up to now with monthly payments, but need to stop these for awhile

2. Tell GF/family that you are an Honorable guy and WHEN THE TIME COMES you will see them alright.

3. You have known the girl for ONE year and a big geographical move needs to be top priority now. Plenty of time to arrange marriage later.

4. She is young so she is bound to want everything 'yesterday.' Are you that naive also?

5. Tell GF/family you need to start a new job (hopefully well paid) and things will get better,BUT DON'T tell them specifics.

6. Remind GF/family of the concept of paying HUGE tax/utility/rent/food bills that are paid in the 'West.' This always SHOCKS them

7. Lay down the ground rules and stick to them. Remember Thai's are used to male still being the 'Bossman' OK.

I could go on and on, but don't get me wrong I am not trying to be negative, honest. I am just trying to help you make your next important move. I have overcome most hurdles and (well up to now) am very happy here with my Thai wife. Good luck and I dearly hope all turns out well for u two

MacB

You 'ol b@gger, its great to read your news and the last sentence above goes out to u too. See you at the FC.

Dave (& Sri)

[jfchandler]

I'm hoping... assuming... you mean 8,000 baht per month, not $8,000 (which means U.S. dollars).

The $500 U.S. per month you're giving her is a VERY good salary for Thai people in BKK...many folks would love to earn that. And for living upcountry in Petchaboon, it's a windfall. So, you might think carefully about that...

Lastly..let me advance a new thought here... One reason for sin sod is the idea of guaranteeing future security for the girl and her family... Because in Thailand, if you get divorced, they don't have the same community property laws regarding income, spousal support and child support as in the U.S.

However, if you're going to move back to the U.S. and get legally married there, then you can figure she's legally going to be entitled to half of everything you earn now and in the future, half any house, half of retirement proceeds, etc... for everything earned post-marriage. You might take those economics into account when deciding what kind of sin sod and monthly support to venture.

My guess is Thai people, in general, don't have any notion of the way marriage/divorce laws work in the USA and how different they are compared to Thailand.

She lives in Petchaboon and I don't know how much her family lived on before along I came along. I wish I did!!!! Her Farang uncle who lives there in Petchaboon says he can make it on $8,000 per month.

[TopDogger]

As a HARD NOSED EXPAT OF PATTAYA,I THINK I AM LOSING THE PLOT HERE.

You guys are saying you pay your gf parents a monthly salary or yout thai wifes mum and dad a salary.I have never sent a monthly salary but helped out once for 15,000 baht for a new toilet( for me mainly) and bus fare when they come to see us.THEY then bring a 1000 bahts worth of rice with them for a gift to us.I have been with my gf for 3.5 years now and do you think i should be paying a monthly salary to her parents????.

If ever i get married,which i doubt then i will not pay a dowry for a quick wedding as i would not get married up country.

Difficult to see how you paint it so black and white...

I would say the lines drawn between gf & wife... Gf, yeah their parents are not your responsibility, up to you if you help them out or not, depends on how much you think of the gf... If you married INTO the family then maybe she has a responsibility to send cash to her mother/father which would become your resonsibility also.

It all depends on her parents/familys situation though.. I have 2 chicks ones from a normal issarn background, the other's parents own shops / run good businesses in BKK.. One asks for nothing, the other likes a few 1000 a month to send up north or it would come out of her OWN pocket.. So who are you really helping?

I know guys who's birds pick them up in their own expensive motors, you think their parent's want 15'000 baht for a new toilet and bring 1'000 bahts worth of rice every time they come to visit?

Edited April 28, 2008 by TopDogger

[YoungFarang13]

did they at least engrave your name on the toilet or have a sign designating that you sponsored it? ground breaking ceremony?

[lannarebirth]

I didn't read every post, but gleaned that you are currently sending 15,000THB per month to the mother of a girl you may marry It seems they're pressing you for how much more you're willing to give? I'm not sure if some other poster has addressed this, but here's the deal. The mother and daughter are conspiring to cheat you. Get out now is my advice.

[jfchandler]

By the way, to the OP... welcome to the club...

If you haven't already, please read the following post relating to my own experience....

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...184597&st=0

A couple of general observations here:

1) Thai country families don't have a particularly good reputation for doing well in handling large, one-time windfalls of (marriage) cash. More than likely, it'd be gone to the winds before you can pocket the bank withdrawal slip. So, for your personal reasons and in the likely real best interests of your future in-laws, spreading out the money as monthly payments over a long/longer period of time is probably the best way to go for everyone involved.

2) Particularly upcountry, there is a strong sense of needing/wanting to keep up with the neighbors, particularly if there's another farang/Thai marriage in the area that people know about. The trick is...sometimes the $ amounts you will hear may be a bit imaginary. Or, in reading the responses to my post, you'll find a story where a house was promised, then the existing house demolished, and then no new house ever built, with the husband disappearing. So, while being sensitive to the family's desire to keep face, I'd be very careful about being subjected to the "well the neighbor's daughter got this", particularly when you're talking about taking your Honey to the USA...

3) you didn't say much at all about the age or background or prior marriages or children of the lady involved.... other than not being a virgin... or about whether she had any BG background. All of those factors would play into a reasonable calculation of sin sod and/or monthly support.

[medegen]

First of all if you're an old man and your "girlfriend" is half your age or more, then I think you should expect to pay a lot. I'm sure you guys know people like this in your own countries. We have tons in America. Anna Nicole Smith was one of em. A gold digger. The only difference here is that these girls and their families are smarter about it (cultural trickery) and can milk more money. A man's brain sometimes loses reality and replaces it with fantasy. I for one don't have to deal with any of that and feel sorry for people that actually hand all this money over for an isaan girl. I met my wife in America while she was studying there for her masters. She is from Southern Thailand and she explained to me about the sin sodt and said "but we don't really do that anymore" and that was all I heard about. She has explained to me about the poorer girls in the northeast. She said "Their parents teach them to lie, cheat, and steal to survive, so it's very accepting of them to do this. It's natural for them." She said "Most real Thai's do no trust them. They aren't real Thai's anyway. They are only good for labor" I'm sure what she said might upset some people, but I thought I would let you guys know. Word of advice. Don't go to bar's looking for a g/f or potential wife and don't marry prostitutes!. That doesn't even work well in first world countries, so why would you think it would work out any better here?

[pumpuiman]

As a HARD NOSED EXPAT OF PATTAYA,I THINK I AM LOSING THE PLOT HERE.

You guys are saying you pay your gf parents a monthly salary or yout thai wifes mum and dad a salary.I have never sent a monthly salary but helped out once for 15,000 baht for a new toilet( for me mainly) and bus fare when they come to see us.THEY then bring a 1000 bahts worth of rice with them for a gift to us.I have been with my gf for 3.5 years now and do you think i should be paying a monthly salary to her parents????.

If ever i get married,which i doubt then i will not pay a dowry for a quick wedding as i would not get married up country.

My wife and I don't pay a "salary"

We send money to the parents, just as she and her brother and sisters have always done... since before I became a family member.

I'm happy to help.

[65Craig]

So let me get this straight. You are 42 and she is 20. Although you've been together in a relationship for 1 year, only 3 of that was while you were actually in Thailand. In some of your previous posts you inferred that she was a little immature. Right now you have been sending tons of money monthly (far more than most average Thais live on). You are worried about the Sin Sot (but you had no clue to what that actually was). And now you are on the verge of bringing her to the States to marry.

I think the big concern for you would be the marriage part. You are obviously worried about giving too much money to the family, but what if the marriage falls apart. I was born and raised in California and know that divorce laws here are brutal. Even pre-nuptials aren't 100% full-proof. I mean she is only 20, could claim ignorance and lack of knowledge of the English language and with a good lawyer could possibly persuade a judge that she was tricked or coerced into signing it by a much older and wiser man. Anyway, you said you are working on your MBA, and if you are going to a decent school (UCLA or are a lowly trojan), you are probably looking at 6 figures easy to start. I know you are concerned with the sin sot, but please make sure you cross all your t's and dot all your i's with the pre-nuptial. A sin sot will be nothing compared to a divorce in a couple of years. She'll get half of anything you've acquired after the marriage. I hope it doesn't happen, but a 20 year old culture shocked kid in the US and 42 year old career driven man seem like Oil and Water to me.

Unlike many on here, I'm not trying to be mean. Sorry if you took any offense. But reading some of these stories, it sometimes seems these girls are out for one thing: Money. I've been with my wife for over 4 years (married for the last year). We just got news she is expecting our first child, but never have I paid a Sin Sot... Maybe I'm lucky. Never have I paid a monthly allowance. Sure I pay the rent and whatnots, but she also is a teacher at the a University here in Chiang Mai and is very independent and never asks for anything. Once again, I got lucky. Anyway, if this girl is truly in love, it just baffles me that she would be so caught up in money. If you are on ThaiVisa long enough, you will see that there are a lot of sad stories where well intentioned men get screwed (literally and figuratively) out of thousands of dollars (baht, euros, pounds, yen, etc.).

Choke Dii Khrap (Good Luck)

[YoungFarang13]

i dont remember hearing about someone losing yen

[DirkGently]

I won't marry her on the basis of money. Stuff that.

She may give her mum whatever and I give her what money she needs and I pay for the schooling of her neices, as for gold..............ask a native of that village what he gave for his wife. A goat?

I'd rather it all fell apart.

[YoungFarang13]

just curious, if she is in the usa and some of the other teenagers invite her to a party is she allowed to go?

[meom]

There must be a guideline, right?

In the end it’s all a question of numbers. Assuming you are biologically sound I guess you want to get laid 2-3 times a week which at current market rates of 2000 baht a pop (including room and refreshments) would set you back 2-3 mil over a 10 year period. Marriage and sin sod might seem a suitable alternative in this case.

[YoungFarang13]

There must be a guideline, right?

In the end it's all a question of numbers. Assuming you are biologically sound I guess you want to get laid 2-3 times a week which at current market rates of 2000 baht a pop (including room and refreshments) would set you back 2-3 mil over a 10 year period. Marriage and sin sod might seem a suitable alternative in this case.

such a romantic.

[jmapodaca]

You may very well be on to something - saving face. As the story goes, it is her bitter enemy from high school and next door neighbor who's farang fiance provided the money. The whole street dislikes these neighbors. There was a lot of chatter about 2M Baht the last time I was there but turned out to be untrue, or delayed, who knows.

So you already know this is a load of B@llocks, then

She is a sweet heart when things are fine. But when these things come up she gets very upset. Tonight she is crying, crying, crying, .......

She is a very young girl who probably as already learnt to 'turn on the waterworks to order'

The lump sum idea and the payments after I start working were all discussed earlier. The mother is easy going and does not expect the mother-load. What the mother and grandmother really want is for her to go live in the US.

The mother has already hit the JACKPOT on a monthly basis

Hi jmapodaca

You need to tell her and the family 'selective truths.'

1. You have been very generous up to now with monthly payments, but need to stop these for awhile

I believe your right.

2. Tell GF/family that you are an Honorable guy and WHEN THE TIME COMES you will see them alright.

They know that is true.

3. You have known the girl for ONE year and a big geographical move needs to be top priority now. Plenty of time to arrange marriage later. The move IS the top priority. It's heppening quick. When I get her here to the US, we must be married in 3 months.

4. She is young so she is bound to want everything 'yesterday.' Are you that naive also? No, not that naive She indeed has no patience whatsoever. Typical young lady.

5. Tell GF/family you need to start a new job (hopefully well paid) and things will get better,BUT DON'T tell them specifics.

I think I have it worked out, which I post below.

6. Remind GF/family of the concept of paying HUGE tax/utility/rent/food bills that are paid in the 'West.' This always SHOCKS them

I explain it, but they don't get it. A mortgage...what's that

7. Lay down the ground rules and stick to them. Remember Thai's are used to male still being the 'Bossman' OK.

Okay, laid down the rules tonight (now) and it's squared away.

I could go on and on, but don't get me wrong I am not trying to be negative, honest. I am just trying to help you make your next important move. I have overcome most hurdles and (well up to now) am very happy here with my Thai wife. Good luck and I dearly hope all turns out well for u two She simply has high expectation. My visits to Petchaboon for some reason draw a lot of attention. The President (fancy title for the Mayor) has come to her house on two occasions to join in the Moo roast, Although he won't drink anything but soda. Anyway, Im babbling...it's late.

MacB

You 'ol b@gger, its great to read your news and the last sentence above goes out to u too. See you at the FC.

Dave (& Sri)

[a2396]

There must be a guideline, right?

In the end it’s all a question of numbers. Assuming you are biologically sound I guess you want to get laid 2-3 times a week which at current market rates of 2000 baht a pop (including room and refreshments) would set you back 2-3 mil over a 10 year period. Marriage and sin sod might seem a suitable alternative in this case.

You pay for sex 10 years in advance? What a guy? I know some local ladies who would like to meet you. One recently asked me for 7 million sinsod. Let's see -- that's about 23 years of fun & frolic. I figured about 3 per wk. Could be a good investment, since the price of this commodity is bound increase due to inflation.

[jmapodaca]

Okay, the issue has been resolved.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your comments. Even the sarcastic ones, which only make for good reading. So here goes,

I offered to pay her mama $8-10K Baht per month for 3 years. My first offer and she was very happy and informed me her mother would be happy as well. I guess I should have gone lower....hmmm. I'm not at all certain how she was fine with that so quickly, but she was. Thank my lucky stars it was that easy $320 over 3 years yields and NPV of under US$4K at 8% - unless I get hammered by that F*#@%&^ exchange rate.

I can live with it

Edited April 28, 2008 by jmapodaca

[jmapodaca]

mate,

get tough,

let her cry like a baby,

explain farangs don't care about "face" and she will have to get used to it.

i still reckon she's playing you like a violin.

Yeah, I think she did play me like a violin a bit. When I'm working (hopefully I will be soon), Im a CFO and a couple extra buck wont kill me. But at the settled upon 8-10K Baht per month the NPV is under US$4K. I think I did alright.......we'll see.....Cheers

[jmapodaca]

just curious, if she is in the usa and some of the other teenagers invite her to a party is she allowed to go?

Yeah, she can go. I'm not going to tie her down and have her miss being young. That would be mean. I will have to accept the inherent risks associated with marrying a younger lady..... I may have to tag along if that kind of thing happens often Given the age difference, the risk is absolutly there. A good pre-nup, that's the ticket. Without that, I wouldn't even consider doing this.

[deathstardan]

I don't give my own Mum 8-10'000B a month.

Am I being tight.......

[TheDon]

I dont give my mother inlaw anything, infact she sends us money from time to time. Whenever I visit Thailand she buys me gold chains and she loves me like im her own son.

The father inlaw used to hate me but he is coming around and is starting to like me.

If my mother inlaw did ask me for for abit of money a month I wouldnt hesitate to give her some as she is such a nice lady.

[egg6447]

Your bet would be correct. But she is expecting me to pay her mother something. I had heard that tradition says you give the mom 5 ounces of gold. I understand now that they may be wrong.

She loves her mom, I understand that, but large sums of money - not to mention the periodic remittances - may serve to be a problem. There must be a guideline, right?

your right ref the guide line.. do the same as you,d do at home. they dont like it but it works for me on every count. bet you dont rissen. lol

[egg6447]

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

I don't mind giving her mom money. I already send her US$500 a month to help out. Quite frankly, I cannot afford to pay her mom 2M, or anywhere near that amount.

you,ve just taken the humour out of the thread for me. you actualy give a total stranger, that you,ve met twice, guessing here, 15000bt a month . you,re beyond help mate . ypu.ll be pooring your heart out on her within 5 yrs, maybe months . god help all of us.

[LooseCannon]

If she comes, she'll be here in Los Angeles with a Thai community and lot's of good Thai restaurants.

Big, big mistake. My advice is to keep her well away from the 'influences' of the local Thai community - in fact, keep her in Thailand.

High proportion of ex-bargirls all backstabbing & bitching about each other, cheating on their ageing husbands with the young bucks, all trying to out do each other in the status stakes.

Lieing, deception, multiple marriages, the systematic looting of assets & money & this is only the wives, wait till you meet some of the husbands.

You being a MBA & CFO & all, will be a prime target & unless your little angel has had a bit of 'Pattaya' time they will chew her up & spit her out. They will turn her into something that you will not believe.

I have seen it all, this tragi-comedy of mismatched souls, predator & prey, so predictable, like an out of control freight train. Don't be another statistic.

Negative - yes, because this whole situation is negative. I think you desperately need a reality check.

Keep her in Thailand - if you decide to take her with you, make sure that YOU choose her friends well.

[lardy]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

[/quote

Tell her nothing, and then see if she still wants to marry? If not then its a lucky escape for you.