Anatomy Of A First Date

[Ijustwannateach]

This thread is to relate, analyze, and make suggestions for first dates. First dates are important in Thailand because of the ease with which the fog can be pulled over our farang eyes. It's important to use them to get information, get to know our prospective partners, and even have fun. To start things off, I'll talk about tonight.

I'm about to go on a first date with a new candidate. I know fairly little about him, except that he is cute and doesn't outwardly seem like an MB- I met him shopping at the local Tesco. He claims to be a RKH student and claims to have a job working for a language school (thus his English ability, which would otherwise be suspicious). He's 23.

When I asked him where he wanted to go for the evening, he suggested Italian. Now, most "normal" Thais are not familiar with real Italian (the closest it comes is Pizza Hut) and Italian cuisine is a sign of past contact with Farang, possibly tourists. This is not in itself bad- but Italian is also one of the more expensive restaurant choices in Thailand, which IS bad for someone just exploring the waters. So, I played dumb and said I didn't know any Italian restaurants near me [he didn't suggest one either and said "up to me"]. We arranged instead to go to a local mall, where the choice of reasonably priced restaurants and entertainment should be enough for any first-dating couple.

Not that I'm a cheap kinda guy- but I've already seen the type of candidates who like to go to the priciest restaurants, order the most expensive dishes, and then "go shopping..." when I still haven't even learned how to spell their names - this guy doesn't seem the type on the surface of things, but I'd like to cut out the possiblity altogether. He concurred with the plan without a fuss, so that's the first hurdle cleared.

The advice? Avoid expensive locations for first dates, both to avoid the frivolous/greedy candidates and to avoid setting undesirable precedents/routines (for those of us who live on a budget).

"Steven"

[astral]

I think you should de-brief your lovers in private,

not in the forum

[ProThaiExpat]

Regardless of where you end up for dinner, if he orders more food than he can possibly eat, he is a prostitute, act accordingly.

[ChrisP]

I think you should de-brief your lovers in private,

not in the forum 

Noooo... I really enjoy the revelations...

ChrisP

[Ijustwannateach]

But if I de-brief them here, won't the pictures be censored ?

The night of the date was a disaster. The guy was coming in from Bang Kapi, where traffic is usually terrible anyway, and that night there was an awful accident there. He was two and a half hours late- by this time, the mall was closed and so were most of the normal romantic choices. He was hot and sweaty and tired. We went for coffee, at least, then I got him to come and rest at my place. . . .[fade to black!- though I will say he was very cute, though one could wish for someone who would take the initiative more...]. . . so, he was very sweet. In the morning, he had to go off to work- and he had developed a cold (considerately, he had not given it to me). He asked me to call him again, and there was no mention of money. A pleasant encounter!

Interesting tidbits: He owned a fairly pricey model of phone and a digital camera. However, he IS working. Sincerity levels still look high.

"Steven"

[IamMaiC]

Why is this on here??

[Ijustwannateach]

1. Read Opening Post Again

2. If Opening Post Not Understood, Ask Specific Question

3. If Having Problems With Gay Material, Avoid This Part Of Forum

Questions?

[IamMaiC]

1.  Read Opening Post Again

2.  If Opening Post Not Understood, Ask Specific Question

3.  If Having Problems With Gay Material, Avoid This Part Of Forum

Questions?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have some opinions but rather not voice them

[JemJem]

I amMaiC......I sincerely hope you are not one of those anti-gay bigots.

Steven.....I think you shouldn't generalise much (well, I know this can be difficult). A Thai guy might be speaking good English without him having been 'on the game with foreigners'. The same is true for having a like for Italian cuisine.

Cheers,

Jem

[IamMaiC]

I amMaiC......I sincerely hope you are not one of those anti-gay bigots.

Steven.....I think you shouldn't generalise much (well, I know this can be difficult). A Thai guy might be speaking good English without him having been 'on the game with foreigners'. The same is true for having a like for Italian cuisine.

Cheers,

Jem

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just because I have opinions on certain things that means I'm anti this or that??

Gay people can do what they want and i thought this was posted in the general topics section that is why i asked why is this here

and if I was anti gay what of it?? I have the right to be if i did choose to be correct??

[Ijustwannateach]

JemJem- good points. And in the guy's favor, his English wasn't THAT good, I found out. Maybe I will take him out for Italian next time... but that would be a SECOND date.

MaiC- welcome to the GAY section. All clear now? Having many Freudian slips like this lately?

And, regarding your right to be anti-gay, etc., etc.- I haven't read the forum guidelines (posted in the pinned thread at the top of this section) recently, but though you can be whatever you like I think you DO have to watch your language here... not that you've posted anything too bad that I've seen! I personally welcome *rational* [non-religious-based] discussion with others about sexuality *in threads created for the purpose*. If you'd like to start one, go ahead and I'll see you there!

"Steven"

[IamMaiC]

JemJem- good points.  And in the guy's favor, his English wasn't THAT good, I found out.  Maybe I will take him out for Italian next time...  but that would be a SECOND date.  

MaiC- welcome to the GAY section.  All clear now?      Having many Freudian slips like this lately?  

And, regarding your right to be anti-gay, etc., etc.- I haven't read the forum guidelines (posted in the pinned thread at the top of this section) recently, but though you can be whatever you like I think you DO have to watch your language here... not that you've posted anything too bad that I've seen!  I personally welcome *rational* [non-religious-based] discussion with others about sexuality *in threads created for the purpose*.  If you'd like to start one, go ahead and I'll see you there!

"Steven"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks Hey i don't have hang ups about gay people they are still people not animals like some people make them out to be, I am not homophobic either I think a gay person can tell if a person is striaght or if he is gay correct??

Like striaght people can sometimes.

[Ijustwannateach]

That's more or less correct, MaiC- and don't worry- I'm not prejudiced against straights either, and I don't believe that all straight people have really small brains and genitals, despite the evidence.

"Steven"

[IamMaiC]

HA!!! I'm not going to touch that one, all i got to say is my wife is happy with me

[Ijustwannateach]

Anyway, to get back to the TOPIC:

Good locations for first dates for gays:

1. Malls

2. Reasonable restaurants

3. Movies

4. Parks

Bad locations for first dates:

1. Bars (especially gay bars- and I actually had a guy who DIDN'T work in the place take me to a &lt;deleted&gt;' GOGO bar once for our first date- bleh!

2. "Gay" themed locations of any kind- too much potential for distraction

3. Fast food restaurants

4. Gyms/pools - too self-conscious!

5. Super-expensive restaurants

6. "Shopping" for anything more expensive than maybe 100B that the date requests

[ProThaiExpat]

IamMaiC:

I think a gay person can tell if a person is striaght or if he is gay correct??

I don't agree with Ijustwannateach about "gay radar" once one is past the initial contact. There is some truth to the adage that you can tell a gay man by the fact that gay men hold other men's gazes longer in passing than straights do.

However, if talking to a very friendly straight, his friendlyness can be easily misunderstood. In AA meetings for instance, everyone is so friendly that one is well advised not to jump to any conclusions either way.

Likewise, gays are as varied as straights, some are excellent at cruising, others are not. Straight men very often "size up" another male without any sexual connotation, especially when they are naked in athletic shower rooms. The "sizing up" is not particulaly genital specific, just a general scan of the whole body. Not to be mistaken as interest. We all know of the other forms of straight male physcal contact, especially in athletics.

I, for one, can't spot a gay man unless they "come on to me" or are effeminate. My gay freinds are amazed that I cannot spot what they consider to be an "obvious" gay. I find many straight Brits to be more effeminate than straight or gay Aussies, for instance. Thus, my opinion expressed above, is exactly that, like rectums, everyone has one and they are as varied as there are males on the face of the earth.