Off Shoot From The What Is The General Overseas Reputation Of Thailand Thread

[sbk]

After reading the "What is the general overseas reputation of Thailand" thread I came to a realization that I have never encountered any of these opinions on my return to the US.

I have only ever heard "Wow. that's so cool, what do you do there?". and when informed that I live in Thailand because my husband is Thai I get "That is so neat" . So, is it that Americans (I am in the West but not on the coast) have different perceptions or is it because I am a woman that I don't receive these responses (ie sex tourist assumptions)?

So,it made me curious as to what other ladies have experienced...

[isabelle17]

I also get the same responses from friends or people I meet back in the US. "Oh, it's so cool that you lived in Thailand for such a long time!" (I'm back in the US at the moment though.) And I'm going back within a month and so they say "Oh, I wish I could go with you!"

My friends generally think of cocunuts, tropics, and thai food when they talk about Thailand. Some people think that Thailand is all about the sex trade, etc and I have had to explain to them that even though Thailand does have a sex trade, there is so much more to Thailand than just that....

I don't know if I get different responses as men...I suppose I might.

[meme]

I have to agree.

Whenever people from home(I come from Canada but have family in the US as well) find out I have lived in Thailand for the past 5 years they treat me as if I am living a dream.

Some are very puzzled by it, as they could never imagine themselves living somewhere so far for a long period of time.

But I get the same responses of "wow you are so lucky", "wish I could go with you" etc. My friends also tend to treat me like I'm someone famous (well almost ) when they introduce me to someone, "This is my friend, she lives in THAILAND!!" And yes when they find out that I am married to a Thai they are very intrigued. And when my husband is there people treat us as if we have some amazing love story to tell. It's kind of funny really.

[kato]

I arrived in Thailand from India, but was originally bound for Vietnam but that fell through. I am originally from the UK, and when I told people I would be living in Thailand, half of them were actually disappointed!!! Not because they feel anything negative toward Thailand, but because it is so well known back home now, and the majority of my friends/family have visited already, and they like to use visiting me where I am living as an excuse to see a new country, not revisit one they have already been too!

No one mentions the sex trade to me, and I am sure that would be different if I was male. It is mainly about the sunshine and the food. Some people think I'm crazy, and don't know how I can live so far away, without home comforts etc. Im not sure which home comforts I'm actually meant to be missing, after a year in India, I have everything I could dream of here, materialistily speaking.

So yes, I do think the response depends on whether you're male or female, but also on whereabouts you come from.

[hanibal7]

Ladies hope you dont mind me speaking about this on here.too me,there is no difference between a man and a woman with regards to the sex trade.

can anyone convince me on here that no lady has short time in pattaya/phuket etc or visits shows by men for women.many many thai ladies go to karaoki bars/boys clubs for one thing and they pay for it too like men do.one day i will make a documentary about the seedy side of thai/farang women in sin city,it will show that its not just men.seems to me its a taboo part of thailand as i have never heard of this on forums only about why men come here.even upcountry,thai women pay for sex with working guys and nothing is said.

would appreciate any views on this and any admissions lol.

[Ave]

Ladies hope you dont mind me speaking about this on here.too me,there is no difference between a man and a woman with regards to the sex trade.

can anyone convince me on here that no lady has short time in pattaya/phuket etc or visits shows by men for women.many many thai ladies go to karaoki bars/boys clubs for one thing and they pay for it too like men do.one day i will make a documentary about the seedy side of thai/farang women in sin city,it will show that its not just men.seems to me its a taboo part of thailand as i have never heard of this on forums only about why men come here.even upcountry,thai women pay for sex with working guys and nothing is said.

would appreciate any views on this and any admissions lol.

There is indeed an increasing trend of female sex tourism around the globe. I've heard that it is particularly notable in some African countries. The kind of women who practise such type of tourism are usually well over 40 and up. Perhaps this is one of the effects of what has been happening in society that started after the second world war and exploded in the seventies as a conquence of centuries of repression and submission which, by the way and unfortunately, continues in many parts of the world.

Usually I can't find a comfortable place for 'single-white-females' anywhere I live so I tend to spend time away from home. But I have walked through 'boyz' town in Pattaya on a couple of occasions in the past and I could hardly see a farang lady there. Mainly it's gay men who go there. The only young ladies I know of who went to such places were cheated on and suffered physical and verbal abuse from their husbands back home. They just wanted to get their own back. (I, personally, wouldn't have done it that way but if it made them feel better for the time being so be it, it's a free world)

Speaking for myself and those who agree I believe that a lot of women have more desire for a man that really likes them/love them. The money thing puts most of us off, it's some kind of control game. When you grow up inside you don't need to play games.

I don't know about Thai women paying for sex. Can you tell us about that in a different thread?

[sbk]

It is an interesting question, would the reactions we receive be far different if we were living in Jamaica which has a reputation as a draw for women looking for vacation romances?

Anyway, I haven't had anyone ask me why Thailand in the sense that it is a place for men, perhaps they have better manners than that, perhaps they just aren't willing to say it out loud...

[hanibal7]

i agree partly to what you say,but to make it simple,women like sex and power the same as men.there are more and more divorces in the western world and women have more money to spend,hence hedonistic holidays in ham yai country(jamaica) where the beach boys are no different than in thailand except for a few inches lol.

you say vacation romances,thats funny,i say one night stands.

my friends daughters mate came over here and never stopped one nighters with all kinds of thai guys and i know of plenty more.is that any different than some guys.when i first came here i thought that the karaoki bars with the guys sitting outside was a gay bar but very quickly found out that many are for the older type of thai aldy and also quite a few young women too.i also read about many bar boys injecting their penis with cooking oil or something similar to make them bigger,and there has been some serious cases of septic ham.

[Ave]

I have to agree.

Whenever people from home(I come from Canada but have family in the US as well) find out I have lived in Thailand for the past 5 years they treat me as if I am living a dream.

Some are very puzzled by it, as they could never imagine themselves living somewhere so far for a long period of time.

But I get the same responses of "wow you are so lucky", "wish I could go with you" etc. My friends also tend to treat me like I'm someone famous (well almost ) when they introduce me to someone, "This is my friend, she lives in THAILAND!!" And yes when they find out that I am married to a Thai they are very intrigued. And when my husband is there people treat us as if we have some amazing love story to tell. It's kind of funny really.

Same same for me. However...when I go home there are always some happy-to-see-you-for-a-bit-of-gossip envious bigots who seem to feel uneasy in my presence, occasionally they would ask some vague questions as if they suspect that perhaps I'm living a secret parallel life made of hard-core parties, extreme sexual activity and lots of drugs. It makes me laugh so I enjoy teasing them no-end. When they get the message they stop, embarassed. I also feel sorry for those friends and relatives who, twenty years on, still resent me for having left them behind. Maybe they don't understand how happy I am living a simple life. It's getting better though, I try to concentrate on the potential that these people have when I go back and it's working already.

[hanibal7]

sbk,

forgot to mention i didnt mean boyztown i meant pattayaland 1 or 2 i think.some farang girls told me they had been there and there was sex for sale from thai guys.

[Boo]

I dont' know any women who have ever gone to a bar & picked up a guy to pay for sex, I know lots who have gone out for a night, met a guy & then had sex with him. No money has changed hands & no agreement has been made prior to them leaving that the man would provide sex in exchange for money. That to me, are totally different things.

If you cant see the difference then fine but going out & meeting someone & having a one night stand is hugely different between going out specifically to pay someone to have sex with you. The first is a mutual free will agreement between consenting adults & the other is a business transaction between pro & client where a specific action is performed for money.

That said, all of my freinds are in their 20's & early 30's, attractive & have never been short of male admirers of any nationality so the idea that then need to offer someone money for what a lot of other men would give for free seems pointless.

I imagine it does go one but on Samui it was never shown to me but I have seen older farang & thai women with much younger thai men in places like Phuket & wondered if it happened.

[Boo]

To get back on topic, I seemed to get the same reaction from people as the other ladies, a bit of a superstar reaction with comments like "wow aren't you adventerous", usually from people who had gone no further than the costa del sol so thailand was the equivilant of the moon to them.

I got lots of, how do you live, what kind of house do you have, can you buy milk & bread there from the same people.

From the ones who had been there before I got, "great, I'm coming for a visit then", or "how do you cope with the heat" & occasionally I got asked (always by men I will add) about the sex scene. I'd give them a brief factual run down, like it is is only in specific areas & only equates to a small percent, less than 1 I beleive, of the population being involved in it directly & that generally any bloke, no matter what he looks like can get himself a good looking girl for the night, I do like to add, if they get letchy or leery at this stage, that sadly they are so ugly, they would be one of the few that couldn't get laid there no matter how much money was on the table cause all the other tourist blokes were such "Hansum man"

[Goinghomesoon]

To the original question, I'm like SBK and only get positive comments. Most of my friends back home have young families and have been to Thailand at some point on a holiday. Generally they have the typical tourist view of it being a great beachy holiday place with a bit of shopping at MBK thrown in for 'culture'. The ones with kids always comment how great the Thais are with smaller family members. None of my friends even ask about the 'trade'. But that could just be the demographic of my friends and family.

(edit grammar)

Edited June 1, 2008 by Goinghomesoon

[girlx]

I only get positive, envious comments. "Wow, I can't believe what a nice life you must have- wish I could do that!"

ladies hope you dont mind me speaking about this on here.too me,there is no difference between a man and a woman with regards to the sex trade.

i totally disagree with that. if that was true then there would be many more venues where men would be for sale than there are now in actuality. i have been to these places and they are full of gay men, not women. there is an increasing trend in picking up so-called "gigolos" all over the world, but as someone mentioned it is usually for the over-40 set. i do not know a single woman who has ever or would ever pay for sex with a man, whereas quite a lot of the men i know have paid for sex with women.

that said, i do think the situation with the beach boys in thailand is similar to that with the bar girls. the boys like to pick up farang girls for free sex and whatever gifts/money they can get out of them. however the difference is that farang girls do not realize this is the case- they feel like they are entering a legitimate relationship.

[icequeen]

When I first started telling people I was moving to Thailand I got very mixed reactions. From younger people 20's and 30's I got the "wow thats cool" reaction

But from others and I don't want to generalize but this was how it happened for me, the typical married with kids and holiday in tenerife every year people sucked in their breath and said "thats a big step isn't it" and "isn't Thailand very dangerous"

Anyway the majority thought it was cool so that was the main thing

[Andiamo]

I have to agree.

Whenever people from home(I come from Canada but have family in the US as well) find out I have lived in Thailand for the past 5 years they treat me as if I am living a dream.

Some are very puzzled by it, as they could never imagine themselves living somewhere so far for a long period of time.

But I get the same responses of "wow you are so lucky", "wish I could go with you" etc. My friends also tend to treat me like I'm someone famous (well almost ) when they introduce me to someone, "This is my friend, she lives in THAILAND!!"

Yout hit the nail on the head Meme! This is EXACTLY the reaction I get, said with a note of wonderment in their voice as if Thailand is like the Holy Grail! Hilarious! And then I get a version of - "WOW", "Thailand", "Goodness me", repeated a couple of times as they absorb this strange info which means I don't fit in one of the 'usual boxes!'

Then the torrent of questions is unleashed.....

How long have you been there?

6 years, Really? 6 years?, OMG? echoed a number of times...

Then the usual questions:- What do you do?, What's it like?,

Usually also, 'But don't you wanna come back home?'

Plus the numerous stories of their previous trips to Thailand and the crazy tuk tuks, temples, trekking, ladyboys, beautiful beaches etc etc.

I only ever get the sex trade kinda questions when people are actually here and witness certain areas or certain large age discrepancies between couples...

[aries27]

yup, women experiences and reputation differ altogether.

no mention of sex at all, except when i say we've been to "infamous" patpong.. ...midnight shopping of course and the peek... which was not even outrageously shocking... bikini clad women at the doors... we were more upset that the prices there were three times that of chatuchak...

my travel companion and sis-in-law still gushes over the lovely time we had there, cramming every available minute to go shopping, visit the temples etc. and the fact that it was a hassle-free vacation.

some friends ask about phuket or pattaya (but one says those beaches per se are really not as good as the ones we have in PH)...

yes, thailand are two sides of a coin to men and women travelers. like it was two different countries...

[hanibal7]

well i have seen bar girls paying thai guys for sex.also how many bi-sexual girld have you seen getting off with bar girls,with or without hubbies.think some of you here wear cotton buds or refuse to admit its not guys,old and young,that play about.one poster said he has never known a lady to pay for sex,wow get from under that bush heheheheheh.only joking,you must be a 9-5 worker and dont get out much.

[Andiamo]

well i have seen bar girls paying thai guys for sex.also how many bi-sexual girld have you seen getting off with bar girls,with or without hubbies.think some of you here wear cotton buds or refuse to admit its not guys,old and young,that play about.one poster said he has never known a lady to pay for sex,wow get from under that bush heheheheheh.only joking,you must be a 9-5 worker and dont get out much.

Why does it always HAVE to be about sex for goodness sake?

The reason sbk started this thread, (I believe), was because there appeared to be DIFFERENT experiences by the ladies on this forum re: the topic 'What Is The General Overseas Reputation Of Thailand?' thereby a whole new thread was started of our experiences.

Us gals are just posting OUR experiences..... not trying to hide stuff etc.

For the record, when many of my friends/family visit, most of them are already either married/engaged or living with their steady boyfriend and therefore not looking for holiday romance. They are here on a girl's holls and taking advantage of where we are located to have a holiday! We generally go to the islands, enjoy the beaches, go dancing in Bangkok, IF they want - we go and have a look see in Patpong but don't go in the bars, just walking through the area is enough ! They GO SHOPPING! , have massages, eat delicious food and generally we don't stop talking!

Of course they see the seedier side of Thailand and then will ask and comment about it. However, when I go back, I don't tend to get asked about this. People are more interested in ME and MY life and experiences in Thailand.

Just my twopennorth worth.

[kat]

Yes, my responses have been all positive and curious, apart from former professors who rightly concluded that I was wasting my life there by staying too long.

[hanibal7]

by some posts on here its definately not about sex its about loooooooooooooove lol.farang women only go with thai men for love not sex heheheheheh.

my posts were more about the general overseas reputation of thailand thread and only decided to give it a new twist as i felt some people would come on here and talk about these dirty old men coming to pattaya for one thing.all the seedy things said about thailand is sad old men and very young brides.nothing is mentioned about the seedy side of old and YOUNG women who come out here for the same thing.

i also noticed that some posts insinuate that farang ladies get CONNED into thinking that thai men are nice and want to look after them.many thai men are pimps and to say the women dont know what they are doing is an insult to women.thai men work the same as many thai ladies they want more more more and will do anything to get it.

i blame the americans realy by spoiling pattaya lol lol.

[girlx]

Yes, my responses have been all positive and curious, apart from former professors who rightly concluded that I was wasting my life there by staying too long.

ha! ouch! (i am feeling guilty too)

my posts were more about the general overseas reputation of thailand thread and only decided to give it a new twist as i felt some people would come on here and talk about these dirty old men coming to pattaya for one thing.all the seedy things said about thailand is sad old men and very young brides.nothing is mentioned about the seedy side of old and YOUNG women who come out here for the same thing.

so in other words you are just another one of those posters who has a chip on their shoulder about western women and is trying to drag us down to your level? perhaps some young women come and pick up prostitute men- who knows. Who cares?! It really doesn't have much to do with the topic!

[hanibal7]

you are right girlx it is a topic and not guess who this is and put him like many farangs.i certainly dont have a chip on my shoulder,and how do you know if i have or havent got a farang gf/wife,or maybe i am gay or a katoy.you havent got a clue and attack for no reason.

anyway i am not here to speak about your stupid post i am hear to maybe make a documentary about the seedy side of thailand from a womens point.

[sbk]

Well, suggest you either start another thread or move on out of the ladies forum hanibal. The majority have spoken, it seems and no one is interested in turning this particular topic to the subject you wish to discuss. Or perhaps since your mind seems made up regardless of what the women here have to say, the subject you wish to pontificate on.

So, since the subject was aimed at ladies-- please note the opening post, lets get back to the subject at hand, and hear from the women of this forum, thanks.

[hanibal7]

no problems sbk,the last post was because aperson decided to tell me what i am before she knew herself.maybe that post should be deleted.

bye bye and ty for letting me post but very dissapointed in a few answers refusing to admit it goes on then attacking guys for doing the same.

[sbk]

I think this topic has actually been discussed in the ladies forum before hanibal, you might try scrolling back a few pages to see... but we are not talking about play 4 pay here, so this isn't really the appropriate place to push the subject. Thanks for understanding.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. One thing my nephew hears alot when he tells people his aunt lives in Thailand "Oh is she a missionary?"

anyone ever gotten that one?

[hanibal7]

i have actualy heard that once and a friend of mine from uk she has a friend and her husband do that work in bk.that was why hse came here in the first place but then fell in love with pattaya/jomtien,but never did anything naughty here

[Boo]

bye bye and ty for letting me post but very dissapointed in a few answers refusing to admit it goes on then attacking guys for doing the same.

Please point out the post that attacks guys for doing anything?

Quite honestly your posts sound like you have an idea that all farang women go to pay for play bars & just want someone to agree with you & cause no one has you are trying to grab straws & turn nasty. girlx is right, if it were so popular then there would be thousands of bars catering to foreign & thai women like there are the bars catering to men. As there is no where near as many, not even close & the ones there may be tend to be gay bars too should tell you something too. But you have your mind made up (as proven by your mocking of the ladies posting here so far) so go ask for stories from these women you do know as they are obviously totally different people to the ones I know or who post on here

[IMA_FARANG]

After reading the "What is the general overseas reputation of Thailand" thread I came to a realization that I have never encountered any of these opinions on my return to the US.

I have only ever heard "Wow. that's so cool, what do you do there?". and when informed that I live in Thailand because my husband is Thai I get "That is so neat" . So, is it that Americans (I am in the West but not on the coast) have different perceptions or is it because I am a woman that I don't receive these responses (ie sex tourist assumptions)?

So,it made me curious as to what other ladies have experienced...

Being male, I would find it hard to say what responses "other women" have when they mention going to Thailand. My boss, for example, every time I mention taking another vacation in Thailand seems to automatically assume I am going there for sex. The fact that I've been living with one Thai woman for over 30 years, that we have a house in Thailand and a family, and that I'm in my 60's now, doesn't seem to get through to my boss. He just seems to assume that I'm going to Thailand for a sex filled romp. I've just given up on him. Simple minds find simple assumptions to carry in them, I guess.

But for most people, me saying,"I live there and my family is there", is usually enough to get their mind to back off the "sex romp" thoughts.

[sbk]

I know, Imafarang, thats why I asked for women's experiences in the ladies forum. Unfortunately, thailand does have that stereotype for men, that is why I am interested in what women encounter as I suspect it is a completely different view of Thailand than men get.