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A young boy came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Liverpudlian and his father was from Yorkshire.

So he asks, 'Mum, am I more Scouser or more Tyke?'

'What does it really matter? You'll just have to ask your father', his mother tells him.

So he waits until dad gets home from work and asks the same question, 'Dad, am I more Scouser or more Tyke?'

'What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want to know if you're more Scouser or more Tyke?'

'Well, it's like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for 50 quid, I don't know whether to talk him down to 25 quid, or wait till dark and steal it!'

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