1. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.

2. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds the demand.

3. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

4. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

5. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

6. It's easier to fight for ones' principles than to live up to them.

7. I don't mind going anywhere as long as it's an interesting path.

8. Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

9. It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

10. If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

11. I don't get even, I get older.

12. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

13. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

14. I am a nutritional overachiever.

15. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

16. I am having an out of money experience.

17. I am in shape. round is a shape.

18. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

19. A day without sunshine is like night.

20. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

21. Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

22. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

23. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

24. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. 25. You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

To get is the gift of fortune.

To keep is the gift of wisdom.

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Be charry of giving advice.

Wise man don't need it and fools won't heed it.

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Don't discourage a beginner from trying something risky.

Nothing ventured means nothing gained.

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Don't ever feel threatened by the future.

Take life one day at a time.