Wai Oh Wai

[solent01]

I find this intriguing,

So should we just act like the typical sex tourist and ignore everything but the opposite sex?

Should we act like the professional who "knows" he/she is better than everybody else, and never "Wai's" because everybody else is beneath them?

"Wai" like a demented back packer?

Or use it with professional Thai's that understand the system is floored with Thai Farang interaction, and use it like a hand shake?

Let the games begin.........

Of course all of the above are floored in one way or another, but I'm sure the spectrum of answers will tell a lot about the Farang in Thailand.

Edit: spelling and the word should have been "one" I blame my keyboard

Edited July 23, 2008 by solent01

[sweetchariot]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

Edited July 23, 2008 by sweetchariot

[NanLaew]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

My wife's parents are younger than me so I don't bother waiing them either.

[sweetchariot]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

My wife's parents are younger than me so I don't bother waiing them either.

[mistresserika]

Unless you know the exact way to 'wai' and to whom, it is best just to acknowlege with a nod.

I only 'wai' when grovelling to the immigration, land office etc.

And you guys, NEVER 'wai' to a bar girl.

[sweetchariot]

Unless you know the exact way to 'wai' and to whom, it is best just to acknowlege with a nod.

I only 'wai' when grovelling to the immigration, land office etc.

And you guys, NEVER 'wai' to a bar girl.

Is that you in your av Erika? V nice funbags

I could wai to them all day long

[Kerryd]

Thais wai more than farangs shake hands, but to not return a wai would be the equivalent of someone offering to shake your hand and you ignoring them (unless they are children of course).

When I'm introduced to someone my friends consider to be important, I will wai them first (give them "face" so to speak). Doing so also gives my friend a little face (and maybe myself as well, though I generally don't worry about that too much).

When I encounter a friend, they will often wai first, I return it, and we will often shake hands as well.

I watch my friends to see how they interact, who wais who first, whose hands are held higher and bows deeper and so on. That gives me an indication of how I should react when (if) I'm introduced.

[sweetchariot]

Thais wai more than farangs shake hands, but to not return a wai would be the equivalent of someone offering to shake your hand and you ignoring them (unless they are children of course).

When I'm introduced to someone my friends consider to be important, I will wai them first (give them "face" so to speak). Doing so also gives my friend a little face (and maybe myself as well, though I generally don't worry about that too much).

When I encounter a friend, they will often wai first, I return it, and we will often shake hands as well.

I watch my friends to see how they interact, who wais who first, whose hands are held higher and bows deeper and so on. That gives me an indication of how I should react when (if) I'm introduced.

Kerry, Kerry, Kerry!!

I thought you knew about this place. If I returned every wai I received I would have a bad back.

Seniors and elders are the only people you should ever wai, you talk about face but you will lose alot of it if you wai everyone who wai's you.

Watch the Thai's faces when a farang wai's a bargirl or waitress, priceless.

No offence intended, as I know you own rocket launchers and are coming to visit soon

[NanLaew]

^But he doesn't have your GPS coordinates..... yet!

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Indeed it does say a lot about Farangs in Thailand (or on this forum)

Keep guessing/assuming guys.

[saraburioz]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

My wife's parents are younger than me so I don't bother waiing them either.

You'd be told to bugger off if you didn't have any money. Very disrespectful.

[NanLaew]

^^ C'mon Winnie. Give us a clue please.

Edited July 24, 2008 by NanLaew

[sweetchariot]

Indeed it does say a lot about Farangs in Thailand (or on this forum)

Keep guessing/assuming guys.

It says alot about you posting <deleted> like this, however one has to admire your trolling skills.

[wolfmanjack]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

My wife's parents are younger than me so I don't bother waiing them either.

You'd be told to bugger off if you didn't have any money. Very disrespectful.

Right. If they wai you then wai them back. Even superiors return wais to subordinates. The height of the hands when you wai is the determining factor and who wais first.

As mentioned earlier it does help when dealing with government officials.

[tuky]

I mostly reply with a slight bow of the head in acknowledgement, unless it is someone of importance, then I will wai first.

I never wai my in-laws as they deserve no respect.

Having said that, a while ago my Father came to visit me, I tried to keep the in-laws away but the inevitable happened and the MiL dropped by, so I lit the barbie, the FiL dropped in a few hours later and ran straight up to my Dad and gave him a hug.

I was so very shocked to see a Thai man giving someone a hug, needless to say my Dad was pretty shocked too

[NanLaew]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

My wife's parents are younger than me so I don't bother waiing them either.

You'd be told to bugger off if you didn't have any money. Very disrespectful.

Right. If they wai you then wai them back. Even superiors return wais to subordinates. The height of the hands when you wai is the determining factor and who wais first.

As mentioned earlier it does help when dealing with government officials.

OK, I waiid the 'senior' in-laws once when first introduced. Now that we know our respective ages and who does have all the money, it's a non-issue. They don't wai me and I don't wai them.

Now introductions to previously unknown older family members, amphur people and (for example) bank loan officers or used car salesmen get wai's returned with different depths and intensity. I do NOT wai the cop seeking a backhander for a shakedown but I do wai the officer rendering or seeking earnest assistance.

Casual acquaintances, social-circle Thai's and (for example) the guy that cuts my lawn get an eye-contact smile with head nod or a handshake if they feel comfortable enough to offer their hand.

[philstone]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

Please tell me do I Wai the parents when I given them money?

[saraburioz]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

Please tell me do I Wai the parents when I given them money?

I had to wai at my father-in-law's feet when he paid off my 7 million baht gambling debt.

[AFKAFSinLOS]

I'd suggest you first learn your place in the Thai hierarchical system, and your place in Thailand...

When you've worked out that you are not part of the system and not part of the hierarchy, the rest falls easily into place...including how important you think it is for a foreigner to wai or not...

Politeness and respect can be shown in many ways, and Thais are bright enough to realise that...

To OP:

Do you regularly give priority to the following in place of your own value system:

- kreng jai

- other forms of hai kiad

- sam ruam

- strive to gain baramee

- phradet/phrakun

- bunkhun

- Sakdi Na

- avoid conflict

- lie to save face

- accept corruption as part of life

- Tod Krathin

- say yes to going to a private function (even knowing you will not attend) then not turn up without saying anything to the host, so it balances

- go silent when you are angry

- attach importance only to people in your family and work circles and behave selfishly when meeting other people knowing they are one off interactions

etc etc etc

Relax and realise people are different. Personally I'm my own person with my own principles and values. Anyone who can't appreciate that doesn't deserve a wai in the first place...

[intumult]

Never did Wai my last g/f parents nor they me.

Yet when I am out and about and people Wai to me, I return the Wai. It is disrespectful not to Wai back, even to a subordinate.

As said earlier if a fellow farang offers you his had to shake and you refuse it is a snub in the same way.

Watch the Thais. They Wai back but differently to different people depending on their status.

[Naam]

Seniors and elders are the only people you should ever wai, you talk about face but you will lose alot of it if you wai everyone who wai's you.

being a Farang who visited Thailand for the first time 35 years ago, having later spent numerous times my holidays in this country and now living in Thailand since nearly four years i am dàmn sure that my wife and me have lost face (unknowingly and unintentionally) a zillion times.

but last time i checked we still had our faces, we never took any drugs to cure our loss of face and we never experienced (knowingly) any unpleasant side effects.

i admit, respectively know, that loss of face can mean something very negative in Asia for Asians. Farangs can easily compensate using colourful printed paper depicting His Majesty (bless him!).

[Naam]

As mentioned earlier it does help when dealing with government officials.

although true i consider it a hypocritical way to to behave if otherwise one acts high and mighty.

[NanLaew]

Never, unless you meet the parents.

edit// spleling

Please tell me do I Wai the parents when I given them money?

I had to wai at my father-in-law's feet when he paid off my 7 million baht gambling debt.

Now THAT is respect. Well done!

[wolfmanjack]

As mentioned earlier it does help when dealing with government officials.

although true i consider it a hypocritical way to to behave if otherwise one acts high and mighty.

Sometimes you have to be a little hypocritical in order to get things done here. I totally despise one particular government official here but i had to be nice to him in order to get my paperwork pushed through. As it was it took me over 3 years to get it approved.

[saraburioz]

Seniors and elders are the only people you should ever wai, you talk about face but you will lose alot of it if you wai everyone who wai's you.

being a Farang who visited Thailand for the first time 35 years ago, having later spent numerous times my holidays in this country and now living in Thailand since nearly four years i am dàmn sure that my wife and me have lost face (unknowingly and unintentionally) a zillion times.

but last time i checked we still had our faces, we never took any drugs to cure our loss of face and we never experienced (knowingly) any unpleasant side effects.

i admit, respectively know, that loss of face can mean something very negative in Asia for Asians. Farangs can easily compensate using colourful printed paper depicting His Majesty (bless him!).

4 years in Pattaya is not experience I'd want to listen to.

[NanLaew]

Seniors and elders are the only people you should ever wai, you talk about face but you will lose alot of it if you wai everyone who wai's you.

being a Farang who visited Thailand for the first time 35 years ago, having later spent numerous times my holidays in this country and now living in Thailand since nearly four years i am dàmn sure that my wife and me have lost face (unknowingly and unintentionally) a zillion times.

but last time i checked we still had our faces, we never took any drugs to cure our loss of face and we never experienced (knowingly) any unpleasant side effects.

i admit, respectively know, that loss of face can mean something very negative in Asia for Asians. Farangs can easily compensate using colourful printed paper depicting His Majesty (bless him!).

4 years in Pattaya is not experience I'd want to listen to.

Now you've gone and f**ked that respect I gave you.

[Naam]

Seniors and elders are the only people you should ever wai, you talk about face but you will lose alot of it if you wai everyone who wai's you.

being a Farang who visited Thailand for the first time 35 years ago, having later spent numerous times my holidays in this country and now living in Thailand since nearly four years i am dàmn sure that my wife and me have lost face (unknowingly and unintentionally) a zillion times.

but last time i checked we still had our faces, we never took any drugs to cure our loss of face and we never experienced (knowingly) any unpleasant side effects.

i admit, respectively know, that loss of face can mean something very negative in Asia for Asians. Farangs can easily compensate using colourful printed paper depicting His Majesty (bless him!).

4 years in Pattaya is not experience I'd want to listen to.

i made a personal statement and spoke for me as well as for my wife. i couldn't care less about anything you want to listen to or not

[solent01]

Unless you know the exact way to 'wai' and to whom, it is best just to acknowlege with a nod.

I only 'wai' when grovelling to the immigration, land office etc.

And you guys, NEVER 'wai' to a bar girl.

Unless she has BooBs as in your avatar of course

[AFKAFSinLOS]

BTW:

Anyone who thinks: "A wai is the equivalent of a handshake in Thailand" needs a bit of a rethink...Applying that sort of logic is like saying "Budhism is the equivalent of Christianity in Thailand"...

[Tod Daniels]

On another thread someone said "Wai's are for thais"..... I think that says it all..

I have seen all too many foreigners acting like sheep-like sock puppets wai'ing everything from limbless beggars, bar-gurls, soi dogs, parking lot attendants, and service staff in restaurants. It makes my stomach hurt (from laughter).

The ever smiling yet diminutive inhabitants in the glorious "Land 'O Thais" have generations of oxymoronic ingrained behavior pawned off as alleged culture. I accept that because it is their country I live in, NOT because I buy into any of it. IF a thai wai's I'll nod back, and that's about as much acknowledgement as they'll ever get.

Going on 4 years here; never wai'd, never will.

My question to you is; "why wai; are you thai?"