More Senior Smiles

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench

under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "Sam, I'm 83 years

old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my

age. How do you feel?"

Sam says, "Well, I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really!? Like a baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet myself.

=================

Little old man

A little old man shuffled.....slowly into an ice cream parlor... pulled

himself slowly, painfully ... up onto a stool. After catching his breath

he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "arthritis."

==================================

I lost my wife

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and

said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for

a couple of

minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.

"Because every time I talk to a woman with boobs like yours, my wife

appears out of nowhere"

============================

THIS IS A NATIONWIDE BULLETIN.....

A truck carrying a load of Viagra has been hijacked!!

The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.......

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Social Security Sex

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"

"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."

"Social Security sex?"

"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"