Transgendered

[Kaez]

TG's out there, what was your life like before you changed? How did you feel around the same sex, around the opposite sex, what sex are you most attracted now?

[Guest Bellini]

Kaez, why don't you start by telling your own story of life before and after your transgenderisation? Or, if you are not a transgender, why do you want to know?

[Kaez]

Kaez, why don't you start by telling your own story of life before and after your transgenderisation? Or, if you are not a transgender, why do you want to know?

Well, I am not TG, I am straight. My half brother is TG though, and I would like to know about other TG's to compare to how she said her life was/is before and after.

[Kaez]

Kaez, why don't you start by telling your own story of life before and after your transgenderisation? Or, if you are not a transgender, why do you want to know?

Well, I am not TG, I am straight. My half brother is TG though, and I would like to know about other TG's to compare to how she said her life was/is before and after.

I just found out that most gays are not attracted to TG's. This I did not know. And I do not know what sex most TG's are attracted to either. When I asked my half brother if he was attracted to men, now that he was becoming a women, he said he was not sure, but he "thinks" he might be. This worried me, as I was hoping he knew more about what he was attracted to. Is it normal not to know what sex one would prefer while transgendering?

Thanks

[twschw]

I am just curious, why would you think that gay men(men who like men) would be attracted to transgendered people (men who feel they are women)?

[orchis]

Talk to your brother and let us knowif anything of interest for gays comes up.

[Kaez]

I am just curious, why would you think that gay men(men who like men) would be attracted to transgendered people (men who feel they are women)?

Its not that I thought that gay men would be attracted to transgendered people, its that I was informed that they are not. Thats all. I really have no clue who, if anyone would prefer TG. Maybe some straights??

[Kaez]

Talk to your brother and let us knowif anything of interest for gays comes up.

Like I said, he thinks he could be attracted to men. This was unsettling for me, as I would feel better knowing that he was for certain about what sex he was attracted to. Are there any gay men that were not sure if they were attracted to men? The fact that he has never really been with a women is also another issue I have. I have heard of a gay man that has never been with a women, but is sure he prefers men. I guess its just his uncertainty that is unsettling for me. If he is bi, thats fine, but he has not expressed that he is.

[Rionoir]

Transgender and sexual preference aren't related other than the fact that they are lumped into GLTB. Being gay or straight has to do with who you want to get naked with... but transgender is when someone, a male in this case, feels like he was "supposed to be" a woman, and in his mind he feels like he IS a woman... but he just doesn't have the woman parts on the outside.

This isn't your issue to worry about... why do you say, "if he is bi, that's fine..." ??? That's fine? And what if he likes dudes? What if he likes chicks? It's not in ANY WAY anything that needs your APPROVAL. He needs your SUPPORT regardless of who he decides to sleep with. But just know that that decision is independent of his TG status, and who other TG people sleep with is also irrelevant, as there are gay TG, bi TG, and straight TG.

[Rionoir]

Oh, and there are also allllllll kinds of people who sleep with TG individuals... it's not just a freak fetish or something.

[PeaceBlondie]

Thanks, Rionir. There are countless millions of biologically obvious males and females who are not attracted to anything sexually. I had a nephew, and kids in my youth groups, who never dated until maybe age 20 or 25. Nephew got married, no children, soon divorced, and is now in his mid-40's, without any apparent love interests. There are "eunuchs" with sex organs but no desire. As you get older and hear more stories, you hear of 30- and 50-year old virgins who never did it and never will, with anybody, for many reasons. They pass themselves off as straight, when they in fact are not sexual.

Everybody's sexual history is unique.

[yabbit]

I just found out that most gays are not attracted to TG's. This I did not know. And I do not know what sex most TG's are attracted to either. When I asked my half brother if he was attracted to men, now that he was becoming a women, he said he was not sure, but he "thinks" he might be. This worried me, as I was hoping he knew more about what he was attracted to. Is it normal not to know what sex one would prefer while transgendering?

Thanks

Kaez, gender and sexual orientation are two different things not related. you have transgendered people attracted to women as you also have transgendered people attracted to men. their is no correlation about one gender and sexual orientation

[yabbit]

Like I said, he thinks he could be attracted to men. This was unsettling for me, as I would feel better knowing that he was for certain about what sex he was attracted to. Are there any gay men that were not sure if they were attracted to men? The fact that he has never really been with a women is also another issue I have. I have heard of a gay man that has never been with a women, but is sure he prefers men. I guess its just his uncertainty that is unsettling for me. If he is bi, thats fine, but he has not expressed that he is.

Kaez,

being transgender should an enough torture, and confusing for your brother. I would say does it matter if he likes men or women or both?

just leave it to time.

Edited September 5, 2008 by yabbit

[Kaez]

Transgender and sexual preference aren't related other than the fact that they are lumped into GLTB. Being gay or straight has to do with who you want to get naked with... but transgender is when someone, a male in this case, feels like he was "supposed to be" a woman, and in his mind he feels like he IS a woman... but he just doesn't have the woman parts on the outside.

This isn't your issue to worry about... why do you say, "if he is bi, that's fine..." ??? That's fine? And what if he likes dudes? What if he likes chicks? It's not in ANY WAY anything that needs your APPROVAL. He needs your SUPPORT regardless of who he decides to sleep with. But just know that that decision is independent of his TG status, and who other TG people sleep with is also irrelevant, as there are gay TG, bi TG, and straight TG.

Some one once told me that there are two types of problems in the world; your own, and everyone elses. I am not worring about his problems, just mearly stateting it did not sit well with me, him not knowing his sexuality. I never said he should like either or, nor that he needs my approval, so dont go off the deep end as I see you wading over that way.

I really did not know that there are gay TG, bi TG and straight TG. Its all really confusing for me, as I am sure it is for him.

[Kaez]

Like I said, he thinks he could be attracted to men. This was unsettling for me, as I would feel better knowing that he was for certain about what sex he was attracted to. Are there any gay men that were not sure if they were attracted to men? The fact that he has never really been with a women is also another issue I have. I have heard of a gay man that has never been with a women, but is sure he prefers men. I guess its just his uncertainty that is unsettling for me. If he is bi, thats fine, but he has not expressed that he is.

Kaez,

being transgender should an enough torture, and confusing for your brother. I would say does it matter if he likes men or women or both?

just leave it to time.

I agree, it cant be easy. I also agree that it does not matter who he likes, but the fact that he was not sure did bother me.

[endure]

I have heard of a gay man that has never been with a women, but is sure he prefers men.

That'll be me then

[geriatrickid]

umm, how do people with sexual desires but no sex lives get classified?

I have a friend, you see and, he asked me to ask............

[Guest Bellini]

I don't feel like answering questions of friends of ThaiVisa members. Half brothers are the minimum acceptable.

[endure]

umm, how do people with sexual desires but no sex lives get classified?

Desperate

[yabbit]

Kaez,

being transgender should an enough torture, and confusing for your brother. I would say does it matter if he likes men or women or both?

just leave it to time.

I agree, it cant be easy. I also agree that it does not matter who he likes, but the fact that he was not sure did bother me.

why does it bother you?

let me put it like this, if you have a terrible back pain do you care if the hair color of the doctor you will see is black or blond?

did you ever go to a restaurant and was not sure if you should order a pizza or a pasta dish instead?

Edited September 7, 2008 by yabbit

[jfchandler]

"farang living outside of Thailand"?????

umm, how do people with sexual desires but no sex lives get classified?

I have a friend, you see and, he asked me to ask............

[Kaez]

Kaez,

being transgender should an enough torture, and confusing for your brother. I would say does it matter if he likes men or women or both?

just leave it to time.

I agree, it cant be easy. I also agree that it does not matter who he likes, but the fact that he was not sure did bother me.

why does it bother you?

let me put it like this, if you have a terrible back pain do you care if the hair color of the doctor you will see is black or blond?

did you ever go to a restaurant and was not sure if you should order a pizza or a pasta dish instead?

It does not bother me, but it does not put me at ease either. Him being uncertain about what sex he is attracted to is a little more serious than what one will have for dinner. The former has many many concequences that will manifest accordingly, and are a little more serious than say.....acid indigestion.

[Rionoir]

If it truly doesn't bother you, then you wouldn't be posting the same comment over and over and over. The fact is, not being certain about sexual orientation really ISN'T a big deal... it may seem like a big deal to a straight guy who is still reeling from his hb being transgenered, but... it's just not. Not even a little... all it means is that she won't be having much sex until she figures it out. And again... why are you taking this as an issue that has anything to do with you? heh Her sex life really isn't your concern man.

[thaicurious]

i find it admirable that a half brother would be so concerned about his sibling so as to reach out from his str8 world to the glbt community to inform himself on issues so that he might be of comfort and maybe even guidance to his transgendered family member.

also, i find it a little shameful that this community would treat this man's simple request with such offense. as a member of the glbt community, i've never even had reason to ponder such questions as to the sexual orientation of transgendered people. i even had a long term relationship with a bisexual guy who had a thing for transvestites who'd wind up in our bed some nights after too much to drink (hey, we were young and having fun).

so, as i know gay life isn't always all that, um, str8 forward, i certainly understand the o.p.'s confusion and desire to understand better. a guy can become a girl who's a lesbian. hmmm. who'd've thought? what a fun little world! what variety!

i'd imagine it could be even more confusing for the trangendered. perhaps there are support groups that you could attend with your half now sister. just now quickly googling i found

http://www.lauras-playground.com/trans_support_groups.htm

(don't know anything about the link, just posting as an example) which also has links to transgender forums where you might find better information.

personally, i would have been proud if my brother had ever shown similar interest in my sexuality, outside of being embarrassed by it when we were younger and at best tolerant of it today. good for you to be involved with your family in such a supportive way. you sound to me like a good brother.

[Tyke]

umm, how do people with sexual desires but no sex lives get classified?

I have a friend, you see and, he asked me to ask............

I think the term is 'asexual', ie. do not engage in sex for whatever reason.

[Tyke]

i find it admirable that a half brother would be so concerned about his sibling so as to reach out from his str8 world to the glbt community to inform himself on issues so that he might be of comfort and maybe even guidance to his transgendered family member.

also, i find it a little shameful that this community would treat this man's simple request with such offense.

Here, here! - many glbt are in fact glib

[hera8400]

"farang living outside of Thailand"?????

umm, how do people with sexual desires but no sex lives get classified?

I have a friend, you see and, he asked me to ask............

Dear Kaenz

I am a mature woman born in the wrong body WBWB , i do not like the terms ts or tg , i think that they do not represent our situation

Transexual people has u calll us

Can be of two types male to female .me

female to male

this has to do with the mental gender , you can have a male body and a female brain , is proben by serious scientific dr.s

the sexual preferences can be of trhee types in male to female hetero , lesbian or bisexual

in female to male hetero , homosesual and bixesual

because the sexual prferences depen on the mental gender not the body sex

In reference to your half brother , is only natural that in the begining she willl feel confused happens to all

but in do time will find is own feeling and femenine emotions and i wiil choose his sexual preferences

I feel that u are concern and a littler anxious about , it happens bcs , normally family's will find more aceptable for her to have relationships with girls

You must accept her has a human being with love regardeless of with hum chooses to go to bed

and your family also

relate to her sould and is going to be ok

I am a WBWB lesbian -bisexual , that means i like to interact with women more but some time i coose boys even i do not like the very much

insesittive and the normal complaints of girls about guys probably you ear that lots of times

I hope that I have clarified a little the issue

In the lauras web page is a lot of information if you want to go deeper

best regard s

Hera

Ps I am planing to go and live in thailand , can you tell me how it will be for a mature 49 years old transexualwoman to live in there

i am planinig to go to Chain mei, I can live a normal life I am not to convincing , to big but i will like to find a place to carie my life in peace , feed up with europe

best regards boy

xxxx

hera