To Tell Or Not To Tell That Is The Question

[bergen]

I know a Farang that' fuxs around regular with anything in sight, should I tell his trusting Isaan wife that is always there for him , or not ?

Shall I break up their marriage ?

Shall I break her heart or his ?

Or is it,

Best I just keep myself to myself ?

Probably best you do the same !

Sticking your hooter in other peoples problems will only cause you problems yourself.

If he "f@cks around with anything in sight" ...............the wife knows already

[robee]

yup yup tell em. Bottle and the truth, he'll be ok

[robee]

last week there was a guy in this forum with similarnpost about his gf was katoy and he found out like 2 years later. Searched but can't find nthread. Anyone know it or how to find it? Tks

[Gary A]

I still have questions about a farang mortgage on a chanote. So, you loan money, have the chanote and have your name on the back of the chanote as holding a mortgage. Now the person you loaned the money to defaults. Where do you go from there? You can't get the chanote in your name. Even IF you can get your name on the back of the chanote, what good will it do you?

[basjke]

I still have questions about a farang mortgage on a chanote. So, you loan money, have the chanote and have your name on the back of the chanote as holding a mortgage. Now the person you loaned the money to defaults. Where do you go from there? You can't get the chanote in your name. Even IF you can get your name on the back of the chanote, what good will it do you?

I assume it is the same rule as when you inherit some land.You can not own it but they will allow you to sell it.

[473geo]

last week there was a guy in this forum with similarnpost about his gf was katoy and he found out like 2 years later. Searched but can't find nthread. Anyone know it or how to find it? Tks

Think it was called 'Honey you left the seat up'

[Lickey]

Hello mate, good to see you back in Thailand, did you know your proposed is getting an extra portion or 2 while you were away?

No i didnt know this, she is always happy to see me, we have good sex and go shopping with her family, eating out ect, talk about building a little house for mum & dad and family, look at buying a farm and building our dream house there, ,,,,,

On the other hand, it seems she is happy for me to go home and make more money to send? or she wants a portion from another, im not sure now?

Ok, so what you gonna do about it?

First thing i will do is remove that prong sticking up between my eyes so i can see things more clearly, and thankyou for opening my eyes to this problem, you have possibbly saved me a lot of heartache and money!!

Ok, it might be a Thai thing to keep stump, but not a falang thing, we are in a foreign country and despite local tradition we have to help eachother, Personally i would grass her up,

The above post is a view of my thoughts on the ops subject, I live here full time and have encounted 2/3 personal experiences with falangs, my mrs is as straight as a dye, and she told the falang that his GF was already married, he was very gratefull for the info,

So yes, tell the poor bugger before it ruins his life!!

[prakhonchai nick]

I still have questions about a farang mortgage on a chanote. So, you loan money, have the chanote and have your name on the back of the chanote as holding a mortgage. Now the person you loaned the money to defaults. Where do you go from there? You can't get the chanote in your name. Even IF you can get your name on the back of the chanote, what good will it do you?

As I understand it , in the event of a default, you have the right to take the land, and can then either transfer it to a Thai (wife? ) or sell it. When a farang inherits land, whilst he is not permitted to keep it, I believe the authorities give him 1 year to dispose of it. If you have shown a mortgage on the land when your wife buys it with your money, then in the event of a divorce, she cannot sell the land without your signature, and regardless of the amount of the mortgage, a farang is legally entitled to 50% of the proceeds. Been there- done it!

In the event of a loan default, the assistance of a lawyer might prove helpful.

[londoedan]

I live here full time and have encounted 2/3 personal experiences with falangs,

my mrs is as straight as a dye

Your'e the man !

[patongster]

Obviously neither him nor you know that you CANNOT own land here in Thailand. Why would you think he could have his name on the deed?

Whilst a foreigner cannot own land in Thailand it is possible to have your name of the land title (chanote). I did, and it gave me much security.

If you lend money for the purchase (or bailing out ) of the land, you can be the mortgagor, and have your name shown as such on the chanote. Also since you have advanced money on the land, you are entitled to hang on to the chanote in the same way a bank would do.

It cannot be sold until you sign that you have received your loan back. You are then in the driving seat!

As far as I am aware that is correct.... you can never own the land, but you can hold the Chanote for an outstanding loan, if the loan is repaid you surrender the Chanote to the borrower, if it isn't repaid, you can transfer the debt via the Chanothe to another person (preferably Thai, and the borrower really doesn't want that to happen)

You can control who owns the land, but you can't own it yourself, just the paperwork.

Next year my girlfriend wants me to pay an outstanding loan of her mothers, I did not want to do this, and have not agreed to do it so far. I would however consider it if I could transfure the loan from her current creditor and get her to sign a loan contract with me instead. Can anyone reccommend a Thai lawyer who speaks fluent english and deals with farangs on a regular basis in matters such as this. Thankyou.

[bergen]

Obviously neither him nor you know that you CANNOT own land here in Thailand. Why would you think he could have his name on the deed?

Whilst a foreigner cannot own land in Thailand it is possible to have your name of the land title (chanote). I did, and it gave me much security.

If you lend money for the purchase (or bailing out ) of the land, you can be the mortgagor, and have your name shown as such on the chanote. Also since you have advanced money on the land, you are entitled to hang on to the chanote in the same way a bank would do.

It cannot be sold until you sign that you have received your loan back. You are then in the driving seat!

As far as I am aware that is correct.... you can never own the land, but you can hold the Chanote for an outstanding loan, if the loan is repaid you surrender the Chanote to the borrower, if it isn't repaid, you can transfer the debt via the Chanothe to another person (preferably Thai, and the borrower really doesn't want that to happen)

You can control who owns the land, but you can't own it yourself, just the paperwork.

Next year my girlfriend wants me to pay an outstanding loan of her mothers, I did not want to do this, and have not agreed to do it so far. I would however consider it if I could transfure the loan from her current creditor and get her to sign a loan contract with me instead. Can anyone reccommend a Thai lawyer who speaks fluent english and deals with farangs on a regular basis in matters such as this. Thankyou.

How big is the loan? If it's not tooo big, and your gf is "THE ONE" for you

- just cash it out...........and you've gained yourself a special place in your future Thai family!

Anyway....for a lawyer, you could try Isaan Lawyers - one of the forum sponsors.

[patongster]

Obviously neither him nor you know that you CANNOT own land here in Thailand. Why would you think he could have his name on the deed?

Whilst a foreigner cannot own land in Thailand it is possible to have your name of the land title (chanote). I did, and it gave me much security.

If you lend money for the purchase (or bailing out ) of the land, you can be the mortgagor, and have your name shown as such on the chanote. Also since you have advanced money on the land, you are entitled to hang on to the chanote in the same way a bank would do.

It cannot be sold until you sign that you have received your loan back. You are then in the driving seat!

As far as I am aware that is correct.... you can never own the land, but you can hold the Chanote for an outstanding loan, if the loan is repaid you surrender the Chanote to the borrower, if it isn't repaid, you can transfer the debt via the Chanothe to another person (preferably Thai, and the borrower really doesn't want that to happen)

You can control who owns the land, but you can't own it yourself, just the paperwork.

Next year my girlfriend wants me to pay an outstanding loan of her mothers, I did not want to do this, and have not agreed to do it so far. I would however consider it if I could transfure the loan from her current creditor and get her to sign a loan contract with me instead. Can anyone reccommend a Thai lawyer who speaks fluent english and deals with farangs on a regular basis in matters such as this. Thankyou.

How big is the loan? If it's not tooo big, and your gf is "THE ONE" for you

- just cash it out...........and you've gained yourself a special place in your future Thai family!

Anyway....for a lawyer, you could try Isaan Lawyers - one of the forum sponsors.

The loan is 230,000 baht. So not a small sum of money, if I marry her later there will be no sin sot that is for sure.

[philstone]

i dont feel good telling this but it happens all to often. an inlaw has just sold her house to a thai girl that has two farang on the go. now the story is she has farang husband. for sure she has two boyfriends. why am i posting. well its just a heads up to you. if your australian or sweedish and youve just paid 700k bt for a house in song neuan. well you both probably paid for the same house with the same girl. i know no other info so if you think its you i,m sorry. shit happens man.

Watch ur own missus it can happen to anyone

How about yours? PM me I will tell you

[Thaddeus]

Go on then, please tell us... you may as well, as we will find out anyway.

This is one of my basic gripes with living in Isaan....... the gossip never stops..... but it is all just gossip.

I hear stories about this farang and that farang, I hear stories about me...... and that is all they are.... stories.

[prakhonchai nick]

This is one of my basic gripes with living in Isaan....... the gossip never stops..... but it is all just gossip.

I hear stories about this farang and that farang, I hear stories about me...... and that is all they are.... stories.

Agree, there is so much gossip here in Isaan but generally I find there is no smoke without fire. It's just that with so many old dears sitting around with time on their hands

Fortunately in my 7+ years in Isaan I am not aware of any untoward stories about me (or at least the wife hasn't heard any!), but previously in Pattaya the stories were rife. Girlfriends, mia-nois, even seen on more than one occasion pushing a pram, yet there was never an ounce of truth in any of them.

[coventry]

I still have questions about a farang mortgage on a chanote. So, you loan money, have the chanote and have your name on the back of the chanote as holding a mortgage. Now the person you loaned the money to defaults. Where do you go from there? You can't get the chanote in your name. Even IF you can get your name on the back of the chanote, what good will it do you?

As I understand it , in the event of a default, you have the right to take the land, and can then either transfer it to a Thai (wife? ) or sell it. When a farang inherits land, whilst he is not permitted to keep it, I believe the authorities give him 1 year to dispose of it. If you have shown a mortgage on the land when your wife buys it with your money, then in the event of a divorce, she cannot sell the land without your signature, and regardless of the amount of the mortgage, a farang is legally entitled to 50% of the proceeds. Been there- done it!

In the event of a loan default, the assistance of a lawyer might prove helpful.

Okay my wife has the chanote of a loan defaulter. How does she have her name put on the chanote ? Thanks

[prakhonchai nick]

In the event of a loan default, the assistance of a lawyer might prove helpful.

Okay my wife has the chanote of a loan defaulter. How does she have her name put on the chanote ? Thanks

As I said above the assistance of a lawyer might prove helpful

However it might be worthwhile discussing it initially with the village headman or at the amphur office.

[GungaDin]

affen02 'how much his girlfriend needed every month to live ok when he was away'

How much?

5000bt or less?

[MayBeLater]

Obviously neither him nor you know that you CANNOT own land here in Thailand. Why would you think he could have his name on the deed?

Whilst a foreigner cannot own land in Thailand it is possible to have your name of the land title (chanote). I did, and it gave me much security.

If you lend money for the purchase (or bailing out ) of the land, you can be the mortgagor, and have your name shown as such on the chanote. Also since you have advanced money on the land, you are entitled to hang on to the chanote in the same way a bank would do.

It cannot be sold until you sign that you have received your loan back. You are then in the driving seat!

As far as I am aware that is correct.... you can never own the land, but you can hold the Chanote for an outstanding loan, if the loan is repaid you surrender the Chanote to the borrower, if it isn't repaid, you can transfer the debt via the Chanothe to another person (preferably Thai, and the borrower really doesn't want that to happen)

You can control who owns the land, but you can't own it yourself, just the paperwork.

Next year my girlfriend wants me to pay an outstanding loan of her mothers, I did not want to do this, and have not agreed to do it so far. I would however consider it if I could transfure the loan from her current creditor and get her to sign a loan contract with me instead. Can anyone reccommend a Thai lawyer who speaks fluent english and deals with farangs on a regular basis in matters such as this. Thankyou.

Doomed.

MBL

[rockyysdt]

The loan is 230,000 baht. So not a small sum of money, if I marry her later there will be no sin sot that is for sure.

If you gift the money so that their debt on the property is fully paid off, I wonder if your prospective in-laws could then go to a finance broker and borrow on their asset?

Instead of paying off their debt, it would be almost like handing over cash, to be used at their discretion.

Edited October 3, 2008 by rockyysdt

[Huey]

Tell, always Tell. If he can't take it that's his problem but at least he dose what he dose with the benefit of being well informed.

[mgjackson69]

The loan is 230,000 baht. So not a small sum of money, if I marry her later there will be no sin sot that is for sure.

If you gift the money so that their debt on the property is fully paid off, I wonder if your prospective in-laws could then go to a finance broker and borrow on their asset?

Instead of paying off their debt, it would be almost like handing over cash, to be used at their discretion.

Absolutely they could, and it is likely they would do so...and a few years from now you can pay it again.

I had a similar situation, albeit a smaller sum of money. Young sister had borrowed 50000 THB on 7 rai ... the place where she lives with Mom and Dad, it was in her name, Mom had given it to her to start with. She paid a bit of it and could not pay the rest. The lender was being very good about it, but it was to the point where they would have to foreclose. I told my wife I would clear the loan, but we needed to do something so it could not happen again. The young sister agreed to put the land back into Mom's name. Problem solved.

[jackliveswhere]

I too was in the same situation with the parents oweing money on the house that they had borrowed from to support the dying business. It was a large sum just under $200,000. In the fear of either the girl possibly looking to go and work or getting cornered into total support for the family as well as outed from the family for life I agreed to give the money to the family to pay off the debt but in doing so, counting it as the 'dowry' or 'sin sod' and they agreed. Also I said that this sum of money would not surface again and if the business goes in the same direction that other options have to be looked at.

We are now married, the family going well and the wife is coming to live with me whilst I work as thats an option I arranged with my employer, although the family still has money problems like most issan families we are not called upon to bail them out everytime and the rest of the family is doing more to look a options to support themselves.

I've purchased land near Nong Rua and have it in the wife's name and plan to build but not until closer to the date that I can live full time in Thailand and when the marriage survives a few years. It also gives us the time to prove we can make a business that can support us sufficiently. But as most i'll always have the safety net of the cash being at home earning the high interest to live on but also if things turn sour I have some savings to re-build my life rather than being out on my arse.

I think all of us getting involved with Thai women know theres a risk but look at the options back home they are much the same less the lifestyle. I say go for it if you can afford it but keep your eyes open and if you see a friend in need, let him know but don't go telling the whole village, just give him a few ideas such as a surprise visit so he can see for himself what is going on. I know if one of my mates knew something that I didn't I would be most pissed off if I wasn't let in on the deal.

[londoedan]

Never mind all of this "my three rules for living in Thailand are" and "surprise visit's"....

Surely, the most important thing in any relationship is mutual respect and trust. If you don't trust and respect your girlfriend, partner, whoever, then how can you have a meaningful relationship together ?

Every few weeks one of these threads start's off: I've been deceived, my friend is being deceived, an ex-friend was being deceived, someone who may, or may not, be a friend is being deceived etc etc etc..

If the people that keep these threads going have such a low level of respect for their chosen partners, and Thai women in general, then why get involved with them in the first place ?

Londo

And whats with the spelling on this forum ? dose !

[prakhonchai nick]

It was a large sum just under $200,000. In the fear of either the girl possibly looking to go and work or getting cornered into total support for the family as well as outed from the family for life I agreed to give the money to the family to pay off the debt but in doing so, counting it as the 'dowry' or 'sin sod' and they agreed.

That's close on 7 million baht!. Some dowry! For that you should have got all the sisters and nieces too!

[Geekfreaklover]

It was a large sum just under $200,000. In the fear of either the girl possibly looking to go and work or getting cornered into total support for the family as well as outed from the family for life I agreed to give the money to the family to pay off the debt but in doing so, counting it as the 'dowry' or 'sin sod' and they agreed.

That's close on 7 million baht!. Some dowry! For that you should have got all the sisters and nieces too!

I think with 7 million baht there be no danger of her "possibly going to look for work" for the time being. "Getting cornered into toal support of the family" it would appear has already been acheived.

Tragic.

[Chaimai]

And whats with the spelling on this forum ? dose !

My spelling is prefect but my typing is sometimes carp

[bergen]

And whats with the spelling on this forum ? dose !

My spelling is prefect but my typing is sometimes carp

It is also a fact that not everyone on TV has English as their first language, ..............

so some misspell might occur from time to time, though I think most do well!

[surinmike]

i dont feel good telling this but it happens all to often. an inlaw has just sold her house to a thai girl that has two farang on the go. now the story is she has farang husband. for sure she has two boyfriends. why am i posting. well its just a heads up to you. if your australian or sweedish and youve just paid 700k bt for a house in song neuan. well you both probably paid for the same house with the same girl. i know no other info so if you think its you i,m sorry. shit happens man.

my lord could this really be true....terrible woman taking advantage of witless western men,western standards on eastern ways.....farang lose....again...another Isaan Monument.....good on her....

[jackliveswhere]

It was a large sum just under $200,000. In the fear of either the girl possibly looking to go and work or getting cornered into total support for the family as well as outed from the family for life I agreed to give the money to the family to pay off the debt but in doing so, counting it as the 'dowry' or 'sin sod' and they agreed.

That's close on 7 million baht!. Some dowry! For that you should have got all the sisters and nieces too!

I think with 7 million baht there be no danger of her "possibly going to look for work" for the time being. "Getting cornered into toal support of the family" it would appear has already been acheived.

Tragic.

Sorry guys, a correction. That was 200,000Baht not dollars.