Careful What You Hear Them Say

[bkkjames]

mak mak funny

not.

Agreed.

So the haemorrhoid brothers now include maigo6, lifeisrandom AND the urban cowboy known as RakjungTorlae. A truly eclectic bunch.

The afore stated group are quick with negative derogatory one liners ,but I note that they never post of having a personal funny experience. I WONDER WHY.

Oh Ozzy is getting in on the action too....

I remember one instance where this huge fat ugly Farang came to Thailand , got a lovely GF 40 years younger than himself and seemed surprised that she had another boyfriend on the side.

Now that's funny, in fact it's hysterical.

Sorry off-topic, try again please.

[Travel2003]

Quite amazing how some of You boys just refuse to accept that other people have a different humor than you have, and how You just can't resist the temptation of making any threads that is intended for a little fun (and smiles) into a dirt throwing contest.

Some of you are even so arrogant that you seem to think you can decide what subjects are wort posting or not.

For rest of you guys, shall we try to ignore these "post collectors" and continue?

[clausewitz]

"The first time that my misses told me that she wanted to "Gin hoi wan" raised my eyebrows, and got me a little excited."

I have to ask, what did she mean to say? Someone has already told me what it means, but I'm not sure what she meant to say or if she meant what she said. Personal remarks will fall on deaf ears.

Eat sweet 'oysters.'

Hoi (said with a rising tone) means both a certain part of a women's body and also a shellfish.

[icequeen]

One time in a restaurant I ordered "moo pad nam hoi" when my thai friends finally managed to stop laughing they kindly explained to me the difference between "nam hoi" and "nam man hoi" but they have never let me forget it!

[phaethon]

Having investigated, thanks to thai-language.com, other slang terms for "a certain part of a women's body" I understand why I have never met anyone in Bangkok called Jim .

Edited September 26, 2008 by phaethon

[MKAsok]

Having investigated, thanks to thai-language.com, other slang terms for "a certain part of a women's body" I understand why I have never met anyone in Bangkok called Jim .

Also leads to much hilarity in restaurants. Naamjim is a kind of chilli sauce. A good enough reason if any to pronounce tones correctly.

[Maigo6]

Quite amazing how some of You boys just refuse to accept that other people have a different humor than you have, and how You just can't resist the temptation of making any threads that is intended for a little fun (and smiles) into a dirt throwing contest.

Some of you are even so arrogant that you seem to think you can decide what subjects are wort posting or not.

For rest of you guys, shall we try to ignore these "post collectors" and continue?

Yeah, lets all get a life and not reads posts we find unamusing.

Our main goal in life will be finding posts that are amusing on an anonymous internet forum.

[toptuan]

After 9 years of trying to speak Thai--I still make the same mistake--Thais usually understand due to context but smile at same time--and, before you all jump on my case , I agree that I must be a slow learner.

So true. After being here six years, I finally noticed the difference between "kee" and "ghkee," when I SHOULD HAVE asked in front of a class of 40 university students. "How many people ('ghee kohn') are coming to the party?" However, I used the word "kee," thus my students heard: "How many turds are coming to the party?"

Yes, there was that polite smile with knowing side glances which indirectly alerted me to my foible. Everyone saved face, but I'm sure my students are still laughing behind my back.

Edited September 27, 2008 by toptuan

[Chaimai]

Yeah, lets all get a life and not reads posts we find unamusing.

Our main goal in life will be finding posts that are amusing on an anonymous internet forum.

I'm surprised that goh hohk is soiling himself by still reading this topic

[sanook2me]

My laptop wouldnt connect to the wifi at home and i was moaning about it..

my Thai wifey kept saying "you have wireless"

me "yes, this is my laptop its wireless"

wife "you have wireless"

me "yes, this is my laptop its wireless"

wife "you have wireless"

after the 10 th time and me about to throw my wireless laptop out of the window i asked her to show me "wireles" on the talking dictionary..

wireless = virus !!!

how i laughed

[mikeyp]

I am a pretty solid cook in several styles,

my lady likes me to do a lot of the sauces, including Thai style dishes.

But she has a chronic problem with saying; cook and kitchen...

"I want you cock in chicken."

The 1st few times I about fell on the floor.

tears are still coming down my cheeks with laughter

[Pakeha]

My sister was visiting and told my tgf she looked 'funky'. Tgf got out the dictionary then promptly asked me why my sister told her she looked like a bad smell....

[Pakeha]

"The first time that my misses told me that she wanted to "Gin hoi wan" raised my eyebrows, and got me a little excited."

I have to ask, what did she mean to say? Someone has already told me what it means, but I'm not sure what she meant to say or if she meant what she said. Personal remarks will fall on deaf ears.

Eat sweet 'oysters.'

Hoi (said with a rising tone) means both a certain part of a women's body and also a shellfish.

Yes indeed. Whenever shellfish is likely to be on the menu my tgf's brothers have a great time asking me chawp kin hoi mai / chawp kin maak mai. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't...

[Quadra]

mak mak funny

not.

Agreed.

So the haemorrhoid brothers now include maigo6, lifeisrandom AND the urban cowboy known as RakjungTorlae. A truly eclectic bunch.

Agree 100%

[dotcom]

This my favorite thread.

Is your girl from Uttaradit? Cuz mine calls "kitchen" "chicken " too. LMAO.

They are little darlings though & they try real hard.

A sister thread to this could be "Dumbest Stuff You've Seen On A Menu". Crap Fried Rice !!!

[Moonrakers]

Having investigated, thanks to thai-language.com, other slang terms for "a certain part of a women's body" I understand why I have never met anyone in Bangkok called Jim .

I once knew a guy out here by the name of Jim Hughes.

When said in a Thai accent, much hilarity was had.

[SaamBaht]

If my wife talked like that, I'd say: "You stupid girl. You go school."

[Neeranam]

Once when teaching a class English I explained the word "brand" but writing the Thai on the whiteboard, when I was learning to write. Embarassingly for me I spoonerised it and wrote "hee yaw" instead of "yee haw".

Some kids used to ask me to say "see the bear" in Thai - be careful with this one.

[Quadra]

My sister was visiting and told my tgf she looked 'funky'. Tgf got out the dictionary then promptly asked me why my sister told her she looked like a bad smell....

Two that come to mind are not long after I came to Thailand I was in a bar and asked the bar girl I was chatting to where she came from, she told me she came from wooly lamb, oh i said ok. Later I asked one of my friend where wooly lamb was and he could not stop laughing. Turned out she was from Buriram.

I was in the shower one night when my g/f who I had recently met asked me if I wanted clean sex after my shower. Turned out she meant to say clean socks. We still have a laugh about it 2 years later. What a gal.

[jastheace]

A Thai friend offered to bring some dinner over to my apartment the other day. They asked me what I wanted and I told them, "fish and chips." Imagine my surprise when they turned up with a nuclear reactor! They thought I had said fission chips!

at last,there is someone on this topic with humour,the old ones are the best

[jtp]

How can you mistake Busy for Pussy ?

Pussy sounds like like Pusee.

Busy sounds llike Bizee.

Doh! Because I got her to repeat it and she herself realised what she had said afterwards. Why the need to put a dampener on it? Just accept the fact some of us can see the humour in these situations and some cannot. Also it is getting some funny replies too.

I agree,it's these little things that make you have a laugh.My wife once told me that"She will grab her dick"...I just kinda stared at her,trying to work out how i missed it,having been married for so long... turns out it was her abbreviation for "Dictionary"...

[jtp]

If my wife talked like that, I'd say: "You stupid girl. You go school."

[Tod Daniels]

Sadly we accept second rate 'engrish' (if it can even be rated that highly) every day we coexist with these diminutive, yet ever smiling, people here in the glorious "Land 'O Thais". What I find oxymoronic (more than most aberrant behavioral traits pawned off as thai culture here) is that EVERY thai took english EVERY day they ever attended school, yet I have rarely seen a race of people more reticent about speaking.

The mind wobble that foreigners would have an (in)significant other who's engrish resembles that of a 4th grade drop out Appalachian hillbilly from rural America. The depth of the conversations I overhear often times is so shallow I can't even begin to fathom it. Then again some people don't need deep conversations, and "I go eat, sa-leep now, tired to mut, can and does suffice along with charades, pantomiming and hand gestures.

As an aside;

A friend of mine who peruses the "meet live thai women" dating sites (as opposed to meeting dead thai women which I hear aren't as much fun) called me the other day.

A girl who's screen name was "Bung-rat" had typed on her profile; "I look man who has big herat".

When I asked my friend if he'd contacted her yet, he said he was afraid his he-rat wasn't big enough.

[Neeranam]

Sadly we accept second rate 'engrish' (if it can even be rated that highly) every day we coexist with these diminutive, yet ever smiling, people here in the glorious "Land 'O Thais". What I find oxymoronic (more than most aberrant behavioral traits pawned off as thai culture here) is that EVERY thai took english EVERY day they ever attended school, yet I have rarely seen a race of people more reticent about speaking.

The mind wobble that foreigners would have an (in)significant other who's engrish resembles that of a 4th grade drop out Appalachian hillbilly from rural America. The depth of the conversations I overhear often times is so shallow I can't even begin to fathom it. Then again some people don't need deep conversations, and "I go eat, sa-leep now, tired to mut, can and does suffice along with charades, pantomiming and hand gestures.

As an aside;

A friend of mine who peruses the "meet live thai women" dating sites (as opposed to meeting dead thai women which I hear aren't as much fun) called me the other day.

A girl who's screen name was "Bung-rat" had typed on her profile; "I look man who has big herat".

When I asked my friend if he'd contacted her yet, he said he was afraid his he-rat wasn't big enough.

It's even sadder when I hear guys ridiculing Thai people's English when it's 10 times better than their Thai. And they are in Thailand.

[Pierrot]

Embarrassment is international. Not everybody will get it, but for our German and French friends ...

All our German friends will remember "Bitte, ein Bit". Now imagine what happen when you German girl friend asks for a "bit" in a French pub. She started a riot, literally !

Explanation for our English friends : Bit, in German, means Bitburger, a very famous lager beer, you want to order a beer. "bite" in French means ... dick !

[Moonrakers]

If my wife talked like that, I'd say: "You stupid girl. You go school."

Should I be that bothered about grammar, enunciation etc then I would suggest "You go to school", rather than "You go school"

Besides, can we all assume from your comment that you speak absolutely fluent Thai yourself?

[jtp]

If my wife talked like that, I'd say: "You stupid girl. You go school."

Should I be that bothered about grammar, enunciation etc then I would suggest "You go to school", rather than "You go school"

Besides, can we all assume from your comment that you speak absolutely fluent Thai yourself?

I think he meant it tongue-in-cheek?Bit of a worry if he was serious......

[Moonrakers]

If my wife talked like that, I'd say: "You stupid girl. You go school."

Should I be that bothered about grammar, enunciation etc then I would suggest "You go to school", rather than "You go school"

Besides, can we all assume from your comment that you speak absolutely fluent Thai yourself?

I think he meant it tongue-in-cheek?Bit of a worry if he was serious......

I think that you may be right, I have the 'oops' smilie at the ready.

[DC1066]

I was talking with my wife and her friend once about the fact that it had been snowing.

Thai word for snow - hi ma - apparently my pronunciation was not quite right and they both fell on the floor - I'd said 'horses pussy'.

I still have to be careful with this one.

[SaamBaht]

If my wife talked like that, I'd say: "You stupid girl. You go school."

Should I be that bothered about grammar, enunciation etc then I would suggest "You go to school", rather than "You go school"

Besides, can we all assume from your comment that you speak absolutely fluent Thai yourself?

I think he meant it tongue-in-cheek?Bit of a worry if he was serious......

That's how most foreign men talk to their Thai spouses...worse than pigeons...