They Walk Among Us.

[Jockstar]

Idiotic 'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever

Kathy Evans, the single dumbest contestant to ever get on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'

NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'

After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was:

'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut

An Elephant

C) The Moon

D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.

'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'

'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to- live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

*Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.

He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed

the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it.*

*Caution... They Walk Among Us!*

*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where???'*

**They Walk among us!!*

***

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'

When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.' *

**They Walk Among Us!!*

****

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't

think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!*

***

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kgr.*

**They walk among us! *

****

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!*

***

My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... *

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!*

***

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.

My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?'

I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is

turned...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *

***

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.

'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*

***

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.

'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.*

**Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!! *

*Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce

[Boater]

My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... *

Should have ordered 10 cases then .....

[peter991]

Some people are so stupid it's amazing they survive....

Number One Idiot of 2008.

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Number Two Idiot of 2008.

Early this year, some airline employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the

chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at their old jobs.

Number Three Idiot of 2008.

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of Queensland, walked into the Branch and wrote this. 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.. So he left the Bank and crossed the street to the NAB Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland .

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland.

Number Four Idiot of 2008.

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $140 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $140. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $140.

Number Five Idiot of 2008.

A guy walked into a little corner liquor store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 18.'

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 18 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Idiot Number Six of 2008.

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Idiot Number Seven of 2008.

Perth WA . Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Cattle Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many Cattle are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore'

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef ?? Yep...From Surfers Paradise Qld !!!

IDIOT SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in when an airport employee asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge??

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know??' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Melbourne Vic..

IDIOT SIGHTING

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving??!'

She was a probation officer in Adelaide SA..

IDIOT SIGHTING

When my husband and I arrived at an car dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know - I already got that side.'

This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo NSW..