Am I Stupid ?

[ozzydom]

I know exactly where you are coming from Fred, does she still need your money and expertise in the business ? if not you can consider yourself redundant.

If she does then you have some ammo in the magazine but firing it still isnt likely to improve the marital situation, it just buys you a bit of time.

[OxfordWill]

[dumball]

Get new TV in your bedroom and watch together

we have and a pc but she prefers to talk to some one else

Did you talk to her about your needs ?

You should tell her the truth, if you did and she still doing the same things then i would say buy a toys (a live toys)

Good luck

Seems to me your wife has her(many ladies)dream come true , nice house next to the family in her village , buisiness venture , 'Friendly' worker(?) she prefers to talk to , no more sex(for you at least), you have become the (un)neccessary baggage . Would not take me too long to make my mind up on all of that , tell her you want to go back to the good relationship you had in Australia because none of it seems to be working for you here .This is Thailand for what ever that means to you at this present time , set a time frame then go be happy , you only come this way once , enjoy it .

[Moonrakers]

No you are not stupid Fred.

After 5 years of happiness in Oz how where you to know that this would happen?

RE: People entering without knocking they are just being plain rude, culture or not. What I would suggest is to go commando as much as you can as them catching you in your full naked glory will have an impact and they will learn to knock sharpish. I found this out inadvertently because granny was quite shocked at the site of my member, but I was able to explain that if she had f'in well had the common decency to knock first then it would have been avoided.

How long have you been back in Thailand? I am asking because your wife has been away for 5 years and no doubt missed her family. Maybe after time the 'novelty' of being back home will wear off and things will start to get back to normal. Try to bear that in mind and perhaps show a little patience towards her.

If you have been back in Thailand for some time though then I would suggest that you have a chat with your misses, and maybe ask her how she felt when she was in a foreign country with nobody but you, perhaps then she might understand how you are feeling.

That's my tuppence worth.

[imaneggspurt]

Get new TV in your bedroom and watch together

we have and a pc but she prefers to talk to some one else

Did you talk to her about your needs ?

You should tell her the truth, if you did and she still doing the same things then i would say buy a toys (a live toys)

Good luck

Seems to me your wife has her(many ladies)dream come true , nice house next to the family in her village , buisiness venture , 'Friendly' worker(?) she prefers to talk to , no more sex(for you at least), you have become the (un)neccessary baggage . Would not take me too long to make my mind up on all of that , tell her you want to go back to the good relationship you had in Australia because none of it seems to be working for you here .This is Thailand for what ever that means to you at this present time , set a time frame then go be happy , you only come this way once , enjoy it .

Great advice,. this is possibly the best place on earth to be single,if your marriage is not working dont clutch at straws take advantage of it ( thailand ) and have some fun, it seems you are lacking in a big way fred, come to patters, brit and i will take you out for a night ! you only live once ( or in my case twice )

[Chaimai]

come to patters, brit and i will take you out for a night ! you only live once ( or in my case twice )

Hmmmm! Pergatory and abstinence in the sticks or a night out in Sin City with imaneggspurt and brit ????

Tough call

[imaneggspurt]

come to patters, brit and i will take you out for a night ! you only live once ( or in my case twice )

Hmmmm! Pergatory and abstinence in the sticks or a night out in Sin City with imaneggspurt and brit ????

Tough call

ROFL

[papajohn]

Sorry for your condition at present but welcome to Thai relationships. It took 5 years to set her up and give her her dream. You are now a nonperson in her life. Unless she needs your ATM . No sex means she has a thai boyfriend or two . The privacy thing is not an issue. Keep cool and get back as much Baht as you can and beat feet. There is no hope in trying to save things , you are a fool if you try.

Start over if you like it here but do not fall in love again, unless you like pain. If so find a good S and M gal ! she wll give you the pain you need.

[JohnBanPrang]

So I guess I am stupid I got married 5 years ago to a thai women and we lived happy in Australia

since then I deceided to move to thailand because of her parents. But now I don't have a life any more.

We build a house ( next to the parent one) But every body just keeps walking in ( no knocking on doors)

My wife watches TV all night long till 1 am ( not with me of course ) but with the family and some times with our workers we have employed. So in the morning she is so tired and when I complain about her watching TV she says oh let me have my joy. Call me old fashioned but I always thought wife and husband schould be in bed together. Am I wrong ?

Get some Thai friends.

Great people.

[Bangyai]

If you don't want to be marginalised and spend every night on the reserves bench you should try getting more involved with ' them '. Firstly, start learning to speak more thai or lao so that you can join in more with the conversation. Like the Alpha dog you will have to excert you position on them. Don't stay upstairs, sit downstairs amongst them and read a book or the paper or whittle wood, anything but just try to avoid totally surrendering your space to them. Get in your mother in laws good books by whatever means possible so that she takes your part. Buy her small gifts of fruit etc. Make visitors bring their own booze by not keeping any in the house yourself. Talk to your wife and tell her you want everyone out of the house by 11.00 p.m. except on special occasions.

Finally if 11.p.m. comes around and the relos are still cluttering up the house, wear you smallest Y fronts and start pottering around in front of them, collecting glasses and emptying ashtrays. EXERT YOUR PRESENCE or you'll end up in the dog house. Woof !

[Moonrakers]

Sorry for your condition at present but welcome to Thai relationships. It took 5 years to set her up and give her her dream. You are now a nonperson in her life. Unless she needs your ATM . No sex means she has a thai boyfriend or two . The privacy thing is not an issue. Keep cool and get back as much Baht as you can and beat feet. There is no hope in trying to save things , you are a fool if you try.

Start over if you like it here but do not fall in love again, unless you like pain. If so find a good S and M gal ! she wll give you the pain you need.

No disrespect but this sounds like a very bitter and hurtful response.

No sex means she has a thai boyfriend or two: Wow, what an assumption. Despite her watching TV with her family maybe she doesn't spend much time away from fred, in which case how could she have a boyfriend or two asides fro the odd quickie out the back.

There is no hope in trying to save things , you are a fool if you try: He is a fool for trying to save a five year marriage????

Start over if you like it here but do not fall in love again, unless you like pain: You wouldn't be bitter by any chance would you, you preach to the OP about how he should let it go but you certainly have not.

Is it not a wonderful thing how so many on here know the depth of a 5 year marriage of somebody that they have never met?

Fred,

Of course there is a possibility that papajohn is correct (Even a broken watch is right twice each day) and no doubt this is in the back of your mind otherwise why would you start this thread?

You need to confront your misses, tell her about how you are not happy (Have you dont this yet?). And then take it from there.

I fear that the bigots here may be correct, yet I suspect that they are wrong.

It's down to you Fred, and not some TV internet warriors like myself.

[JohnBanPrang]

If you don't want to be marginalised and spend every night on the reserves bench you should try getting more involved with ' them '. Firstly, start learning to speak more thai or lao so that you can join in more with the conversation. Like the Alpha dog you will have to excert you position on them. Don't stay upstairs, sit downstairs amongst them and read a book or the paper or whittle wood, anything but just try to avoid totally surrendering your space to them. Get in your mother in laws good books by whatever means possible so that she takes your part. Buy her small gifts of fruit etc. Make visitors bring their own booze by not keeping any in the house yourself. Talk to your wife and tell her you want everyone out of the house by 11.00 p.m. except on special occasions.

Finally if 11.p.m. comes around and the relos are still cluttering up the house, wear you smallest Y fronts and start pottering around in front of them, collecting glasses and emptying ashtrays. EXERT YOUR PRESENCE or you'll end up in the dog house. Woof !

I think no Thai like you.

"Them" and us???

Can you not sleep with "Them" in your house.

"Alpha dog"..............Sit.

No reserve bench for you,

RED CARD.

[Moonrakers]

If you don't want to be marginalised and spend every night on the reserves bench you should try getting more involved with ' them '. Firstly, start learning to speak more thai or lao so that you can join in more with the conversation. Like the Alpha dog you will have to excert you position on them. Don't stay upstairs, sit downstairs amongst them and read a book or the paper or whittle wood, anything but just try to avoid totally surrendering your space to them. Get in your mother in laws good books by whatever means possible so that she takes your part. Buy her small gifts of fruit etc. Make visitors bring their own booze by not keeping any in the house yourself. Talk to your wife and tell her you want everyone out of the house by 11.00 p.m. except on special occasions.

Finally if 11.p.m. comes around and the relos are still cluttering up the house, wear you smallest Y fronts and start pottering around in front of them, collecting glasses and emptying ashtrays. EXERT YOUR PRESENCE or you'll end up in the dog house. Woof !

This man/lady makes sense.

I think no Thai like you.

"Them" and us???

Can you not sleep with "Them" in your house.

"Alpha dog"..............Sit.

No reserve bench for you,

RED CARD.

Are you a scientologist?

[Sabum]

Do all old men lose their balls? How on earth would you lose total control of YOUR house and your wife?! No sex? Jeebus.... Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take responsibility for yourself and your happiness. You still love her? You love what exactly? She treats you like crap and is obviously using you, what do you love? The 30 year difference in age? Surely you need more than that right buddy? Cmon, if you are unhappy CHANGE THINGS. You did this to yourself, its not her fault, its not her families fault, its you. Go find a woman who does make you happy, get out of this situation if it is an unhappy one. It might sting at first but a year later you'll feel much better.

[JohnBanPrang]

If you don't want to be marginalised and spend every night on the reserves bench you should try getting more involved with ' them '. Firstly, start learning to speak more thai or lao so that you can join in more with the conversation. Like the Alpha dog you will have to excert you position on them. Don't stay upstairs, sit downstairs amongst them and read a book or the paper or whittle wood, anything but just try to avoid totally surrendering your space to them. Get in your mother in laws good books by whatever means possible so that she takes your part. Buy her small gifts of fruit etc. Make visitors bring their own booze by not keeping any in the house yourself. Talk to your wife and tell her you want everyone out of the house by 11.00 p.m. except on special occasions.

Finally if 11.p.m. comes around and the relos are still cluttering up the house, wear you smallest Y fronts and start pottering around in front of them, collecting glasses and emptying ashtrays. EXERT YOUR PRESENCE or you'll end up in the dog house. Woof !

This man/lady makes sense.

I think no Thai like you.

"Them" and us???

Can you not sleep with "Them" in your house.

"Alpha dog"..............Sit.

No reserve bench for you,

RED CARD.

Are you a scientologist?

No,but I like phycology.

The history of algea.

[JohnBanPrang]

If you don't want to be marginalised and spend every night on the reserves bench you should try getting more involved with ' them '. Firstly, start learning to speak more thai or lao so that you can join in more with the conversation. Like the Alpha dog you will have to excert you position on them. Don't stay upstairs, sit downstairs amongst them and read a book or the paper or whittle wood, anything but just try to avoid totally surrendering your space to them. Get in your mother in laws good books by whatever means possible so that she takes your part. Buy her small gifts of fruit etc. Make visitors bring their own booze by not keeping any in the house yourself. Talk to your wife and tell her you want everyone out of the house by 11.00 p.m. except on special occasions.

Finally if 11.p.m. comes around and the relos are still cluttering up the house, wear you smallest Y fronts and start pottering around in front of them, collecting glasses and emptying ashtrays. EXERT YOUR PRESENCE or you'll end up in the dog house. Woof !

This man/lady makes sense.

I think no Thai like you.

"Them" and us???

Can you not sleep with "Them" in your house.

"Alpha dog"..............Sit.

No reserve bench for you,

RED CARD.

Are you a scientologist?

No,but I like phycology.

The history of algea.

Hit mee with your bamboo stick.

Give you 5 min.

NA.

[bravingbangkok]

Sorry for your condition at present but welcome to Thai relationships. It took 5 years to set her up and give her her dream. You are now a nonperson in her life. Unless she needs your ATM . No sex means she has a thai boyfriend or two . The privacy thing is not an issue. Keep cool and get back as much Baht as you can and beat feet. There is no hope in trying to save things , you are a fool if you try.

Start over if you like it here but do not fall in love again, unless you like pain. If so find a good S and M gal ! she wll give you the pain you need.

No disrespect but this sounds like a very bitter and hurtful response.

No sex means she has a thai boyfriend or two: Wow, what an assumption. Despite her watching TV with her family maybe she doesn't spend much time away from fred, in which case how could she have a boyfriend or two asides fro the odd quickie out the back.

There is no hope in trying to save things , you are a fool if you try: He is a fool for trying to save a five year marriage????

Start over if you like it here but do not fall in love again, unless you like pain: You wouldn't be bitter by any chance would you, you preach to the OP about how he should let it go but you certainly have not.

Is it not a wonderful thing how so many on here know the depth of a 5 year marriage of somebody that they have never met?

Fred,

Of course there is a possibility that papajohn is correct (Even a broken watch is right twice each day) and no doubt this is in the back of your mind otherwise why would you start this thread?

You need to confront your misses, tell her about how you are not happy (Have you dont this yet?). And then take it from there.

I fear that the bigots here may be correct, yet I suspect that they are wrong.

It's down to you Fred, and not some TV internet warriors like myself.

Again we agree

[haybilly]

Sorry for your condition at present but welcome to Thai relationships. It took 5 years to set her up and give her her dream. You are now a nonperson in her life. Unless she needs your ATM . No sex means she has a thai boyfriend or two . The privacy thing is not an issue. Keep cool and get back as much Baht as you can and beat feet. There is no hope in trying to save things , you are a fool if you try.

Start over if you like it here but do not fall in love again, unless you like pain. If so find a good S and M gal ! she wll give you the pain you need.

No disrespect but this sounds like a very bitter and hurtful response.

No sex means she has a thai boyfriend or two: Wow, what an assumption. Despite her watching TV with her family maybe she doesn't spend much time away from fred, in which case how could she have a boyfriend or two asides fro the odd quickie out the back.

There is no hope in trying to save things , you are a fool if you try: He is a fool for trying to save a five year marriage????

Start over if you like it here but do not fall in love again, unless you like pain: You wouldn't be bitter by any chance would you, you preach to the OP about how he should let it go but you certainly have not.

Is it not a wonderful thing how so many on here know the depth of a 5 year marriage of somebody that they have never met?

Fred,

Of course there is a possibility that papajohn is correct (Even a broken watch is right twice each day) and no doubt this is in the back of your mind otherwise why would you start this thread?

You need to confront your misses, tell her about how you are not happy (Have you dont this yet?). And then take it from there.

I fear that the bigots here may be correct, yet I suspect that they are wrong.

It's down to you Fred, and not some TV internet warriors like myself.

Again we agree

Make sure you are in full control of all your finances before you confront her--this, confrontation, is usually a one-way street with Thai ladies.

[zorro1]

Do all old men lose their balls? How on earth would you lose total control of YOUR house and your wife?! No sex? Jeebus.... Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take responsibility for yourself and your happiness. You still love her? You love what exactly? She treats you like crap and is obviously using you, what do you love? The 30 year difference in age? Surely you need more than that right buddy? Cmon, if you are unhappy CHANGE THINGS. You did this to yourself, its not her fault, its not her families fault, its you. Go find a woman who does make you happy, get out of this situation if it is an unhappy one. It might sting at first but a year later you'll feel much better.

Aint that the truth! Totally mind boggling how desperadoes here bag there fat assed farang exwives but at the same time hand there balls over on a platter to a 4ft 2inch pipsqueek and then either come crying here or unthinkably do a swan dive off a balcony. walk into the TV room and tell the workers to piss of, NOW. tell the missus to come to bed NOW or go and pack your bags and don't say a word until she asks you. Tell her you need a break with a smile, just a short holiday to think about things. Take control of your life and be a man she just might respect you for it..

[OlRedEyes]

It's no wonder that so many mixed relationships fall apart here. No woman will ever respect a wimp, they need someone stronger to provide security. So many times I see guys crying about having been taken for a ride, submitting to all the demands and accepting being sodomized, then being dumped or ignored.

Grow some backbone. Don't come bitch on a forum. Throw out the family, workers and maybe even the TV. Just maybe she'll get some respect for you.

Being nice to your wife doesn't mean turning into a lapdog. What use would she have for you then?

Edited September 27, 2008 by OlRedEyes

[way2muchcoffee]

There is too much advice like: Get a divorce, find a mia noi/gik, throw everyone out.

This is childish advice. Who gets a divorce over TV watching? Anyone willing to throw away a 5-year marriage over this problem could never be a suitable husband or father to anyone.

There are many things you can do to help preserve this relationship.

1) Go out more often, together. Day trips, temple carnivals, restaurants, movies, shopping, sight seeing, picnics, etc.

2) Take holidays frequently, together. Make them romantic getaways.

3) Accept that the family is part of your lives and that won't change. Join them. Learn the language. Interact.

4) Build a small vacation house in another part of Thailand.

5) Travel overseas: HK, Singapore, Laos, Viet Nam, Philippines, Cambo, China, Japan, Korea, NZ, Bali, Malaysia.

6) Set limits, but be reasonable. If 1 am is too late, move it to midnight. If it's every night that she's watching TV with family, suggest that 2 or 3 nights per week are yours.

7) Have family outings. Take everyone out. This will help further positive family relations.

And these are just a few of the things that could be done.

[Geroc]

So I guess I am stupid I got married 5 years ago to a thai women and we lived happy in Australia

since then I deceided to move to thailand because of her parents. But now I don't have a life any more.

Hi,

Yes, you've been "stupid" to go and live near your wife's family ! I think it could be horrible everywhere, and still more in Thailand where families are very close.

You lived happy in Australia, because your wife lived as Australian. But maybe she didn't like this life very much ?

Now, you have to live as Thai, and only your wife is happy...

[Lilyjade]

She dont want to touch him, she spend all

her time staying away from him.

She even spend lots of time with workers?

that are not really friends, instead of beeing near her husband.

Sounds like she does not like you at all.

She dont care about you at all.

How can you love someone that is completely ignoring you?

Life is short start enjoy life somewhere else.

[imaneggspurt]

There is too much advice like: Get a divorce, find a mia noi/gik, throw everyone out.

This is childish advice. Who gets a divorce over TV watching? Anyone willing to throw away a 5-year marriage over this problem could never be a suitable husband or father to anyone.

There are many things you can do to help preserve this relationship.

1) Go out more often, together. Day trips, temple carnivals, restaurants, movies, shopping, sight seeing, picnics, etc.

2) Take holidays frequently, together. Make them romantic getaways.

3) Accept that the family is part of your lives and that won't change. Join them. Learn the language. Interact.

4) Build a small vacation house in another part of Thailand.

5) Travel overseas: HK, Singapore, Laos, Viet Nam, Philippines, Cambo, China, Japan, Korea, NZ, Bali, Malaysia.

6) Set limits, but be reasonable. If 1 am is too late, move it to midnight. If it's every night that she's watching TV with family, suggest that 2 or 3 nights per week are yours.

7) Have family outings. Take everyone out. This will help further positive family relations.

And these are just a few of the things that could be done.

"Who gets a divorce over TV watching? "did you see the bit about no sex and not sleeping together, and there will be more, too late for marriage guidance i feel,.

[way2muchcoffee]

^ I disagree. If things started to go sour in my marriage I would fight tooth and nail to identify the problems, and go to extreme lengths to fix them. I believe that divorce should be the very last option, and would try everything under the sun to preserve the marriage first.

Edited September 27, 2008 by way2muchcoffee

[imaneggspurt]

Do all old men lose their balls? How on earth would you lose total control of YOUR house and your wife?! No sex? Jeebus.... Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take responsibility for yourself and your happiness. You still love her? You love what exactly? She treats you like crap and is obviously using you, what do you love? The 30 year difference in age? Surely you need more than that right buddy? Cmon, if you are unhappy CHANGE THINGS. You did this to yourself, its not her fault, its not her families fault, its you. Go find a woman who does make you happy, get out of this situation if it is an unhappy one. It might sting at first but a year later you'll feel much better.

Great reply/advice,.except for "the age difference " its the woman that will make the difference, many of us have younger wives,but we wont be pushed around by greed,i have been to my in laws 3 times in 7 years, no problems,.....remember fred kindness can be seen as a weakness and you can be milked dry if you let them ( money and emotions ) ,.give this some serious thought,.

[imaneggspurt]

^ I disagree. If things started to go sour in my marriage I would fight tooth and nail to identify the problems, and go to extreme lengths to fix them. I believe that divorce should be the very last option, and would try everything under the sun to preserve the marriage first.

it would be nice, however lets wait for an update in 12 months, i think you need to have seen someone in this situation ( which i have ) in answer to the ops question ,no i dont think he is stupid, i think hes a nice ,kind hearted guy that has ( like many others ) been manipulated/ coerced into this position and if not careful will be again one of many that will be going home financially and emotionally broke,.the signs Are there, he needs to get out, FAST,.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Go back to Oz with as much brass as you can gather.

[Maigo6]

Yet again I ask.....

Who in their right mind seeks advice from total strangers on an anonymous internet forum ?

But......to answer you question as to if you're stupid or not, yes you are, then again, judging by the responses you got here from the relationship experts, you're not alone.

This forum is getting trolled to death.

[Slip]

<snip>

What I would suggest is to go commando as much as you can as them catching you in your full naked glory will have an impact and they will learn to knock sharpish. I found this out inadvertently because granny was quite shocked at the site of my member, but I was able to explain that if she had f'in well had the common decency to knock first then it would have been avoided.

Was this supposed to say 'sight' or 'size'?

If the latter then I think this is a case of shameless self-promotion.