Thai Lady Telephone Habits, Etc.

[Maigo6]

Thanks to some you for your insightful & relevant comments. As to be expected, the self-appointed age police have crawled out from under their rock to proclaim my post has it’s origins in an age difference, between me and the lady in question. Apparently, they also feel qualified to pronounce judgment on my emotional frame of mind in this matter, claiming I am paranoid. This board is littered with the derogatory comments of one poster in particular, whenever he (or she) sees an issue that, in his opinion may somehow besmirch the sterling character and behavior of Thai women. This is not really a Thai women issue, but is a matter of appropriate accountability that I would expect in any relationship.

Contrary to their expert opinions, this issue has nothing to do with age, but is relevant to the standards of integrity that one might expect from a close personal relationship. Fortunately, a couple of posters have indicated that they would view the lapses in phone response I have described as suspicious. In fact, one stated he would tolerate no such behavior, even on one occasion. I would give this lady a bit more leeway, since we have not clearly defined the nature of our relationship and what each other expects.

I consider this a serious matter, because it has happened several times and usually on these weekend visits to the “parents”.

Your paranoia has been sanctioned by some posters and you seem content. How sweet.

You talk about how you would expect things to work out in any relationship, you also make a point of stating this girls age ( 24 ), why do you refuse to accept that age is a factor in a relationship. Why don't you have a GF that is 30 years older than you ? ( Yeah I know, she'd have died 25 years ago ), but can you see my point ?

As you refuse to come to terms with your age and indeed you will not state your age for some strange reason, how on earth can you ask for an opinion on a relationship from the esteemed members here ?

If you think being 40 Years older than some young girl is irrelevant in a relationship, then seeking advice from total strangers on an anonymous internet forum is the least of your problems.

I would suggest that she make a mad dash for it now, before you chain her up and confine her to the house.

Do you think this same girl would be with you if she were rich ?

I gotta go to do my 90 day reporting now, check in with you later sweetheart, ok ?

Edited October 13, 2008 by Maigo6

[Packu2]

A young Thai ladies phone is almost glued to her ear , no answer in 4 hours , she is otherwise occupied , goes to the village every week-end , this is NOT normal , cut yor ties now or have the golden ring inserted in your nose , there are more available , willing ladies in Thailand than you could hope to service in a life-time . A lady would do this to me only one time , remember the golden rule 'He who has the gold makes the rules' .

You only come this way once , use your time to the best of YOUR requirements and needs , never become a slave to a Thai , NEVER .

Best advice ever....

[Packu2]

Thanks to some you for your insightful & relevant comments. As to be expected, the self-appointed age police have crawled out from under their rock to proclaim my post has it’s origins in an age difference, between me and the lady in question. Apparently, they also feel qualified to pronounce judgment on my emotional frame of mind in this matter, claiming I am paranoid. This board is littered with the derogatory comments of one poster in particular, whenever he (or she) sees an issue that, in his opinion may somehow besmirch the sterling character and behavior of Thai women. This is not really a Thai women issue, but is a matter of appropriate accountability that I would expect in any relationship.

Contrary to their expert opinions, this issue has nothing to do with age, but is relevant to the standards of integrity that one might expect from a close personal relationship. Fortunately, a couple of posters have indicated that they would view the lapses in phone response I have described as suspicious. In fact, one stated he would tolerate no such behavior, even on one occasion. I would give this lady a bit more leeway, since we have not clearly defined the nature of our relationship and what each other expects.

I consider this a serious matter, because it has happened several times and usually on these weekend visits to the “parents”.

Next time have another Thai call the parents and ask for her.....

[Fun2Fun]

On the weekends she visits her parents home from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. She says this, but I've never been there to verify such. She is 24 & I think a visit home EVERY weekend is a bit unusual. Parents live about 30 km from her apt.

With such a short distance its not unusual that she would visit her parents every weekend, i know plenty of Thais who do the same and most of them have to travel much farther than 30km.

Missing a phone call once in awhile is not unusual eighter, but if it starts to be a regular pattern then it might be time to take notice.

[Geekfreaklover]

A young Thai ladies phone is almost glued to her ear , no answer in 4 hours , she is otherwise occupied , goes to the village every week-end , this is NOT normal , cut yor ties now or have the golden ring inserted in your nose , there are more available , willing ladies in Thailand than you could hope to service in a life-time . A lady would do this to me only one time , remember the golden rule 'He who has the gold makes the rules' .

You only come this way once , use your time to the best of YOUR requirements and needs , never become a slave to a Thai , NEVER .

Total hogwash.

My little sis travels 146 Kms each way every weekend to come home from school, so does her friend, they are both 20. Both have mobile phones that are certainly not glued to their ears, as mine isn't either, I often leave my phone in my car overnight or leave it at home then discover I've left it at home after going out.

If the guy is approximately the same age, the paranoia will evaporate somewhat, it's just that old geezers come to Thailand to take advantage of their financial clout, thinking they own the people.

And seem jolly surprised when they discover they don't!

So you travel on the bus with your lil sis ? Why have a phone you cannot answer or turn off ? Old geezers do not come to Thailand for their financial clout , Thai ladies take advantage of possible security , why do you think they come/are sent to the big city ? Financial security for the WHOLE lazy family , you think differently , you are out in left field . Many , many depend on old foreigner for an income , without them they starve and so does their family , this has been a fact of life for many years and with the drop in tourism , many will suffer the consequencies of unavailable income from what you call 'Old geezers'.

It is not that the man is paranoid , have you ever noticed the blatant jealousy displayed by many 'Young'Thai ladies when that old geezer companion looks at another lady ? It is not jealousy , it is a form of hatred for the other female who could be contemplating taking their next meal away , my opinion for what ever it may be worth from years of experience ,

It's my experience, having when younger, lived in a poor rural Isaan village for a few years that these people do not "starve". They want the TV and the motorbike and the house. They want to improve their life. And if it takes a good hearted/naive farang then sobeit. They do not starve as long as there is rice in the fields and fruit in the trees and frogs, land crabs, vegtables in abundance. Which there is in Isaan. To think that rural familes are starving in Thailand as a rule is more than a slight misconception.

[mmushr00m]

Maybe she's out helping her family and working in the fields, hence not carry her phone with her.

or

Maybe you should go with her when she visits her family. THEN you'll know what goes on.

But since you dont trust her, forgetaboutit. No point continuing.

[G54]

Sorry man but nasty replies is all you're going to get. I cant tell you how many girls Ive encountered that ALL had some old Thai or Falang boyfriend taking care of them.... and yet they sneak out to see a guy like me. Or a young Thai guy. If I was you I would get verification of her whereabouts, follow her if you have to, her not answering her phone is pretty much concrete proof she's with another man at that moment, this is Thailand. If a Thai guy doesnt answer his phone when his Thai girl calls, there is hel_l to pay. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

Your reply OK. This is what I suspect. I had another Thai GF, who would do exactly what you say. Give me hel_l, if I did not answer ASAP. There are also other issues I have with this current GF, that I also want answers to or it's over. I have know her for about a year, but we are only recently getting to a more serious level with the relationship & I am not to comfortable with many poorly explained situations.

Have to agree with a2396 & Sabum.

If my Thai g/f phones and I do not answer immediately there are questions as to why. If the answers are not to her liking then there can be he_l to pay. Same applies to SMS.

OK, sometimes you are in the shower or driving the car, maybe even taking an afternoon nap and cannot answer instantly but you (or at least I do) call back ASAP. I make a point of using some endearment or other when talking on the phone to help satisfy her in respect of her knowing I would not call her 'Darling' or tell her I love and miss her if I had another lady present. No, this does not make me downtrodden or 'under her thumb'. It helps her to understand and gives her some security regarding the relationship. IMHO many a genuine Thai lady will have the same insecurites we men have. Many cannot understand why we love 'that' particular lady and do not have a string of ladies lurking in the background waiting to take their place. It takes time for the security to be realised and this is a two way street.

I had one g/f who did not answer the phone in similar circumstances to the OP and found out she was in multiple relationships and unable to call me Teerak on many occasions. She went the journey.

To not have her answer the phone for hours at a time is stretching credulity. As we know and as the OP has pointed out, a Thai lady is never far from her phone. They take them to bed, to the toilet, everywhere.

My g/f travels 20 kilometers every Saturday to her parents house, sleeps there and comes back the following day. Yes, I have checked the motorcycle is there. Suspicious of me? Yes but I would rather be sure than wonder where she is. There has been the odd time she will answer an SMS immediately at 1 a.m. when she is supposed to be asleep and that was suspect. I discovered she does so from love, not that she is awake and out partying

Summing it up :-

There may be a genuine reason for her not answering the phone occasionally. But on a regular basis? That is a red flag to me. Talk to her. If the answers are suspect or she does not rectify the problem then I think you have your answer. Better to sort these things out earlier in the relationship than later.

Good luck.

[Payboy]

if i had a baht for every time the girls didnt answer the phone when doing the dirty with me.....

...i would encourage their boyfriends to keep calling.....

Edited October 13, 2008 by Payboy

[petitechevre]

she's with her mom. Her mom probably hates you so she waits for her to take a break from thai soap shows around 6pm to call you back.

[rick75]

So you have been friends for a year and serious for a shorter amount of time, How come you have never been home to visit Her parents?

[jackr]

if she’s lying she just doing it to protect this truth from you.

If she's lying she's doing it to protect her own ass

[Samuian]

#Love

#Sex

#Money

# Age

#Young vs. old

Can't buy me love.... if that is the point one will have to pay one way or the other for the sex service, if much older, much more likely, young age will burn money and here it's no crime to have a sponsor named "sugar daddy"

Get used to it

Get someone closer to your age

or better get real and get a life!

Nothing worse then being dependend on a much younger woman, while she is playingup there are doubts they might be very well founded!

[jackliveswhere]

My advice.... take it or leave it.

If shes serious, like rick75 says..... meet the parents. If she is afriad to take you to the village meet them in the one next to it.

If you think she is doing the dirty, buy her a new phone that forwards you an sms everytime she receives or sends one.

And the last, make a surprise visit. Call her or surprise her at the parents house.

These will give you our answers but like most say... if there is any doubt in your mind if you don't get to the bottom of it or choose to 'try' to ignore it you will never trust her and finally you will be left without her.

Act now or later would be the question...

[raybingham]

Ray...Log out at the D 2 Wan...cheers

[kmart]

I think the OP should consult the advice of any real friends he might have, regarding problems of a personal nature.

[sylviex]

see next message ...

Edited October 13, 2008 by sylviex

[sylviex]

Ray...Log out at the D 2 Wan...cheers

Cryptic. Posted on wrong thread ?

Contrary to their expert opinions, this issue has nothing to do with age, but is relevant to the standards of integrity that one might expect from a close personal relationship

Sorry, but if there's a significant age difference, it is most certainly relevant. Highly so. Only if the lady were financially independent might it not be.

OP, you should really listen to the others on this score. Try to see the situation through a young Thai's eyes. You are deluding yourself -- sorry to be harsh but you are heading for much greater unhappiness if you cannot see this. You seem to have posted before with the same kind of issue. (Same lady or different ones ?).

If she loves and respects you in the way you want, you'd be talking to her rather than puzzling over what is going on. You and she don't seem very close, emotionally. What reasons does she give for not answering the phone ? (Edit: checked your post & see she said she "did not see her phone". Sooooo ... why didn't she see it ?)

When you are together, what do you do and what do you talk about ? If we are to go into the internet advice business, some more info such as that would be helpful. (I usually don't like to reply to these personal topics but it seems like you need a push in the right direction.)

Again, sorry to be harsh. I wish you well.

P.S. Scott, I'd consider 2 hours a long time, not a short time .

Edited October 13, 2008 by sylviex

[londoedan]

but is a matter of appropriate accountability . . . . .

is relevant to the standards of integrity that one might expect from . . . . .

I consider this a serious matter . . . . .

Are we talking about a loving relationship here or a business transaction ?

My advice is to lighten-up and trust her. I'm fairly convinced that a lot of the bad-mouthing of Thai women / girlfriends / wives on forums such as this one, has more to do with issues the authors have, rather than the women themselves. It's meant to be fun being in love, not a matter of surprise visits, red flags, SMS forwarding phones, monitoring vehicles and peoples movements etc etc..

Private Eye by Alakaline Trio just about sums these people up.

Londo

Edited October 13, 2008 by londoedan

[Lopburi99]

I am curious if and/or when any of you gentlemen you may become concerned, if your lady does not answer her phone when you call. My experience is that a Thai lady is never far from her phone & it is generally her constant companion. My case in question are several occasions where whe did not answer for a couple of hours or more. The latest incident was this Sunday, with not response from 2 PM, with a return call at 6 PM. The story was that she did not see her phone. On the weekends she visits her parents home from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. She says this, but I've never been there to verify such. She is 24 & I think a visit home EVERY weekend is a bit unusual. Parents live about 30 km from her apt. When she is at her apt, durning the week, she usually answers quite quickly. Try to keep the nasty replies to a minimum. Thank you.

A young Thai woman's phone is most important to her (sometimes next only to an ATM card). Yes, they take them everywhere as one poster said: to the toilet, in the shower room, everywhere, EVERYWHERE! And they rarely do not take a call (unless they are "busy" or do not want to talk to that caller).

No answer or return call from a gf for 4 hours? Total BS here in LOS. A very ominous red flag. If it happened even once I'd start looking for another woman; if it happened twice I'd be gone. Sorry, but whenever I read about another farang ignoring the red flags again and again I get upset. (Been there, done that )

However, I don't think visiting the parents every weekend is in itself necessarily unusual. She could well be bored in her apartment. Also, she may have friends and relatives regularly dropping by her parents' home on weekends. Preferable to a phone call is to sit around with others, eating, and gabbing for hours on end - Thai women love to do that. That said however, in your case it should nonetheless be considered another red flag necessary to check out.

Lovely, honest Thai ladies of all ages are not difficult to find. Take your time in finding one and you can be happy until you croak. But having 100% trust in your lady is a MUST or you are playing with fire.

Best of luck

Edited October 13, 2008 by Lopburi99

[long]

it could be "technical" problem from telco (AIS,Dtac,Truemove). i do have experience with that, mean people try to call me (my phone was on and never ring), but they cant get it, only few hours later, my phone receive a "miss call" alerts. some other case is my phone will lose signal even at town.

[john b good]

A young Thai ladies phone is almost glued to her ear , no answer in 4 hours , she is otherwise occupied , goes to the village every week-end , this is NOT normal , cut yor ties now or have the golden ring inserted in your nose , there are more available , willing ladies in Thailand than you could hope to service in a life-time . A lady would do this to me only one time , remember the golden rule 'He who has the gold makes the rules' .

You only come this way once , use your time to the best of YOUR requirements and needs , never become a slave to a Thai , NEVER .

Total hogwash.

My little sis travels 146 Kms each way every weekend to come home from school, so does her friend, they are both 20. Both have mobile phones that are certainly not glued to their ears, as mine isn't either, I often leave my phone in my car overnight or leave it at home then discover I've left it at home after going out.

If the guy is approximately the same age, the paranoia will evaporate somewhat, it's just that old geezers come to Thailand to take advantage of their financial clout, thinking they own the people.

And seem jolly surprised when they discover they don't!

So you travel on the bus with your lil sis ? Why have a phone you cannot answer or turn off ? Old geezers do not come to Thailand for their financial clout , Thai ladies take advantage of possible security , why do you think they come/are sent to the big city ? Financial security for the WHOLE lazy family , you think differently , you are out in left field . Many , many depend on old foreigner for an income , without them they starve and so does their family , this has been a fact of life for many years and with the drop in tourism , many will suffer the consequencies of unavailable income from what you call 'Old geezers'.

It is not that the man is paranoid , have you ever noticed the blatant jealousy displayed by many 'Young'Thai ladies when that old geezer companion looks at another lady ? It is not jealousy , it is a form of hatred for the other female who could be contemplating taking their next meal away , my opinion for what ever it may be worth from years of experience ,

You have hit the nail right on the head.

It doesn't matter whether it's your GF of 2-3 years or a girl you bought out from a bar the night before they think that they can screw around to their hearts content but look out if you look sideways at a girl riding sidesaddle on the back of a motorbike.

Regarding the telephoning bit, the way to go is fone the landline in her room (the majority of rooming places have them) and if she doesn't answer then "she is not at home" Keep a record of dates/times and confront her.

The only successful relationships are those where the two are together (and then not all)

A Thai girl has been brought up from birth to say whatever she thinks the other party wants to hear which is, "not the truth"

You only have to look at the f...wits running the country to realise that honesty and the truth are rare commodities in the realm.

Edited October 13, 2008 by john b good

[Lopburi99]

"...A Thai girl has been brought up from birth to say whatever she thinks the other party wants to hear ..." (john b good)

This is not the first time I have read a comment like this, and it is disturbing to me.

Is there some truth to it, or is it BS?

Edited October 13, 2008 by Lopburi99

[Lopburi99]

if i had a baht for every time the girls didnt answer the phone when doing the dirty with me.....

...i would encourage their boyfriends to keep calling.....

a2396, if your gf was "busy" when you called, you are better off she did not answer!

I remember once calling my then-wife and noting she sounded a bit winded. Months later when she wanted to be extra mean she told me yes, she was in fact actually humping some guy during that phone call. This was my Thai ex-wife from h_ell. Even though it has been several years now, her words and the mental images I have of them together still haunt me to this day.

[Geekfreaklover]

it could be "technical" problem from telco (AIS,Dtac,Truemove). i do have experience with that, mean people try to call me (my phone was on and never ring), but they cant get it, only few hours later, my phone receive a "miss call" alerts. some other case is my phone will lose signal even at town.

Yes it is probably a communication problem the op is having. Lack of signal or something like that. All sounds quite innocent really

[torrenova]

A young Thai woman's phone is most important to her (sometimes next only to an ATM card). Yes, they take them everywhere as one poster said: to the toilet, in the shower room, everywhere, EVERYWHERE! And they rarely do not take a call (unless they are "busy" or do not want to talk to that caller).

No answer or return call from a gf for 4 hours? Total BS here in LOS. A very ominous red flag. If it happened even once I'd start looking for another woman; if it happened twice I'd be gone. Sorry, but whenever I read about another farang ignoring the red flags again and again I get upset. (Been there, done that )

However, I don't think visiting the parents every weekend is in itself necessarily unusual. She could well be bored in her apartment. Also, she may have friends and relatives regularly dropping by her parents' home on weekends. Preferable to a phone call is to sit around with others, eating, and gabbing for hours on end - Thai women love to do that. That said however, in your case it should nonetheless be considered another red flag necessary to check out.

Lovely, honest Thai ladies of all ages are not difficult to find. Take your time in finding one and you can be happy until you croak. But having 100% trust in your lady is a MUST or you are playing with fire.

Best of luck

So every weekend she goes AWOL. OK, but when it is every weekend and no telephone calls answered then something is wrong. Don't bother with any bullshit excuse she gives you. If you ask to go to the village she will just make sure that everything is ok. Just get rid of her and move on.

[Travel2003]

Ever been to a bar/restaurant that is for Thais?

If no, next time notice this.

If in a weekend, and if it is packed, every 2 minutes the entire evening, there is at least one lady speed walking (almost elbowing) towards the entrance with the phone to her ear, and one hand covering the mouth (to filter back ground noise).

Quite an amazing sight really.

The need to to pick up and answer the incomming call is almost a natural thing here.

When approaching the bar, notice all the people outside talking on their phones. They have already been inside.

To be unavailable for hours and hours, is veeeery rare.

Remember how I demanded that my wife should switch off her phone when we go to bed.

Was hard for her in the beginning.

Agree, they never leave their phones.

[Maigo6]

You only have to look at the f...wits running the country to realise that honesty and the truth are rare commodities in the realm.

Whilst Farangs are bastions of good morals, honesty and accountability.......

I mean, take a look at the f...ckwits runinng America, or should that be ruining America.............to realise that truth and honesty are indeed rare commodities in politics all over the world.

[Maigo6]

Ever been to a bar/restaurant that is for Thais?

If no, next time notice this.

If in a weekend, and if it is packed, every 2 minutes the entire evening, there is at least one lady speed walking (almost elbowing) towards the entrance with the phone to her ear, and one hand covering the mouth (to filter back ground noise).

Quite an amazing sight really.

The need to to pick up and answer the incomming call is almost a natural thing here.

When approaching the bar, notice all the people outside talking on their phones. They have already been inside.

To be unavailable for hours and hours, is veeeery rare.

Remember how I demanded that my wife should switch off her phone when we go to bed.

Was hard for her in the beginning.

Agree, they never leave their phones.

I was in a Thai for Thai restaurant tonight, no waitress had a mobile telephone in use, nor were any other Thai women speedwalking and trying to filter out background noise.

There was one Fat azzed Farang who was with some poor unfortunate girl who I did notice, the reason I noticed was she looked so unhappy, very sad to see some Thai women reduced to enetertaining huge fat Farangs who wouldn't have a prayer in their own countries of getting any company at all.

Then the same guys come on internet forums putting the very women they are exploiting down!!

Listen Fatso, take a good look in the mirror, would you want to go with you ?

It's pathetic, it's wrong, it's pitiful.

Then again, on an anonymous internet forum we can all blame the Thai women , I mean, they forced you to come here, you were pressganged onto the plane, you had no choice!

You were handcuffed and forced at gunpoint to travel 1000's of Km's to visit temples.........yeah...right.

I wanna see the same ammount of Farangs in Tokyo, but of course that will never happen, cos you can't f...king afford it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited October 13, 2008 by Maigo6

[Maigo6]

"...A Thai girl has been brought up from birth to say whatever she thinks the other party wants to hear ..." (john b good)

This is not the first time I have read a comment like this, and it is disturbing to me.

Is there some truth to it, or is it BS?

If you believe what some huge fat cynic says on an anonymous internet forum, then I actually pity you.

[Maigo6]

Agree, they never leave their phones.

What you actually mean is, My GF never lets her phone out of her sight.

Please don't try to speak for the millions of others whom you have absolutely no idea about at all.

It's like saying all Farangs are huge fat smelly alcoholics, we all know this is rubbish as only 98% are.

Edited October 13, 2008 by Maigo6