The Off Topic Thread

[thithi]

why u r criticizing me, huh plarex?

[AlexLah]

I am decripting your message.

I think you are a secret agent and sending messages through.

[thithi]

hey you, i'm not a secret agent lah but a sneaky drinker duh!

[BIGTOE3]

what are you talking about?? - plarex

BT ... I dnt drink wine befor going to the uni na!

cashill - huh?

No Thithi - you misunderstood - 1 / You have the Wine AFTER you show us round your UNI

If of course you remember where it is

BT

[thithi]

nahhhh need some spirits after a long walk

[cashill]

wine......... wine

cashill - huh?

I thougt you meant to say he was whining

[AlexLah]

So wine wine was not a secret message, then how was there a message inside?

Have you been through "The Program"

[thithi]

@$%#$#%@!!!!!!!!!!

<censored><censored><censored><censored><censored><censored><censored><censored>

[AlexLah]

Thithi, I can help you deprogram

I fully understand what they did to you in order to comply with what they call "The System"

I have two pill's here, a red and a blue one, which one you wanna take?

[thithi]

??

[AlexLah]

Red or Blue?

You want to get out of the Matrix or want to stay in?

[cashill]

weird things onTV these days

[AlexLah]

Cashill, what are you going to do?

Stay in the room ore.........?

[cashill]

'hide in the closet?

[thesunset75]

I need a warm bath....hhhmmm

[Seapok]

I thought I was bad but I think Zpete could be the biggest perv on this site?

[thesunset75]

We all are

[thithi]

I am nottttttt....

[AlexLah]

I am just only extremely weirdo.......

[Seapok]

I am nottttttt....

Your just the biggest geek Thithi

[BIGTOE3]

I am nottttttt....

Off Topic again..

> A guy was driving around Dublin when he saw a sign in front of a house,

> '

> Talking Dog for Sale.'

>

> He rang the bell and the owner told him the dog was in the backyard.

> The guy went into the backyard and saw a Labrador sitting there..

>

> 'Do you talk?' he asked.

>

> 'Yes,' the Lab replied.

>

> 'So, what's the story?'

>

> The Lab looked up and said, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I

> was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Garda

> about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to

> country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one

> figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable

> spies for eight years running.'

>

> But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting

> Any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the

> airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious

> characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and

> was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a load of puppies, and

> now I'm just retired.'

>

> The guy was amazed. He goes back in and asked the owner what he wanted

> For the dog.

>

> 'Ten euros.' the man said.

>

> 'Ten euros? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so

> cheap?'

>

> "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that sh*te.'

BT

[thithi]

sorry BT... got a bad hungover here.... dnt tempt to read now

[BIGTOE3]

sorry BT... got a bad hungover here.... dnt tempt to read now

Ok so you are hungover and can not read... Try this then.

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-wal...0,1036393.blurb

Quite good I thought

BT

[BIGTOE3]

??

OFF TOPIC - one for the Ladies I think, but the guys will laugh too

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -

the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could

immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow

and asked loudly,

'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back

My husband didn't say a word..

he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes,

I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the

store.. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with

mens balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and

passed by a store that sold a

variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case,

the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon,

my toddler decided to release

some pent-up energy and ran amok

I was finally able to grab hold of

her after receiving looks of disgust

and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving

'right now' she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as

threatening,

'If you don't let me go right now,

I will tell Grandma that I saw you

kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and

walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of

laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I

was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick

lunch, in between errands . It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,

so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.

Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.

I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.

I kept thinking

'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes

with me.'

Then I said,'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'

'No,' he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because th e smell was

getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This

time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks

and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,

he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel

better,

thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of laughing for 2 days

and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,

in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female

news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and

didn't,

turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set,

but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Have a nice day

BT

[thithi]

lol hilarious..

[thithi]

i like it moving moving, she likes it moving moving, he likes it moving moving

respect the king juliannnnnnn!!!

[AlexLah]

If I were you I would go and see a brain doctor tommorow.........

[thithi]

dnt be like Mailman the giraffe, plarex!!!

i'm not sick! duh!

[AlexLah]

Who the heck is mailman the giraffe?

Do you also hear voices in your head?

[thithi]

go watch Madagascar I and II, you Mailman