Status And Financial Relationship In Thailand

[LongThaimer]

Dr Ron:

You are preaching to the conformed mate. I suggest you use that line on your sweetie.

Good luck.

So far 8 of 10 girls I have dated always asked me on the first date. "What do you do for a living?"

I hate to rain on your parade mate but 10 out of 10 girls I dated in Australia asked me what I did for a living. What's your point?

My point is that, if I have a "low" job like factory worker, does it make me less attractive eventhough I might be a nice guy? Eventhough I am working in an office environment here in Bangkok, I really do not seem to attract interest to fellow female workers as they earn the same as me and are more interested in someone higher in the status ladder.

that is why you see some gorgeous women hanging out with total dorks.......do you think they fancies dating dorky guys when they were teens.............??????

ask any women around you if they prefer a nice,handsum tuk-tuk driver over a dead ugly CEO of your company......?????

[drronnie]

My point is that, if I have a "low" job like factory worker, does it make me less attractive eventhough I might be a nice guy? Eventhough I am working in an office environment here in Bangkok, I really do not seem to attract interest to fellow female workers as they earn the same as me and are more interested in someone higher in the status ladder.

maybe they dont want to marry an old guy much older than they are?

regardless perhaps try to spend more time 'around' the janitorial staff

Well, I am 30 and I do not think I am so old. The average age of the women here is 27 to 28 anyways.

[CroBiker]

ask any women around you if they prefer a nice,handsum tuk-tuk driver over a dead ugly CEO of your company......?????

Can't say I ever seen handsome tuk tuk driver ...

[bkkjames]

My point is that, if I have a "low" job like factory worker, does it make me less attractive eventhough I might be a nice guy? Eventhough I am working in an office environment here in Bangkok, I really do not seem to attract interest to fellow female workers as they earn the same as me and are more interested in someone higher in the status ladder.

maybe they dont want to marry an old guy much older than they are?

regardless perhaps try to spend more time 'around' the janitorial staff

Well, I am 30 and I do not think I am so old. The average age of the women here is 27 to 28 anyways.

First of all, aim younger mate, you will gain no face in this part of the world with a gf that is close to your age. For a 30 yr old, I suggest somewhere around the just graduated from uni age.

The 28 year old up crowd has resigned themselves to a life of solidarity and love only for there family, food and last but not least - JOB.

[drronnie]

Even movie stars and models pick the richest guy they can find even if they are not in the industry. Look at Noon Worwarut or Tata Young, Kataleeya Macintosh, Gob Suwanan, etc. The list goes on. Even though they are financially well off they still marry up. I have yet seen someone marry down. Even with Tata Young's 100 million baht dowry from Prem the engagement was called off. I think she wants better status.

Yes, these "movie stars" are nothing more than Chazzers (Yiddish word for greedy pigs) or in other words overpaid prostitutes.

[henryalleman]

And your point is?

What woman anywhere in the world wouldnt consider the financial security and status of her proposed spouse? It's got nothing to do with being Thai, and everything to do with being human.

at the risk of wrath of the fairer members, I would suggest is has everything to do with being female.

Maybe it is the fact that in the West I have met women are more into just having fun and not really wanting to bind long term however in Thailand the women are looking for serious relationship and looking for someone who is more financial secure to build a relationship.

Every woman find security very important. Women subconscience is like that, What we men don't seems to realise that for a woman the man who can give her a child and the man who is the best fit to take care her end her offspring are two different things. Every psychology Doctor can tell you this.

[LongThaimer]

ask any women around you if they prefer a nice,handsum tuk-tuk driver over a dead ugly CEO of your company......?????

Can't say I ever seen handsome tuk tuk driver ...

hypothetical dude..........

[girlx]

I think it is more about wanting a guy who can take care of himself rather than one who will take care of us (women). I dated a couple of guys of lower economic status than I am (Thai) and I would never do it again. There is usually a reason they are of lower status, I think- lazy, stupid, unambitious... If the guy works hard it is a point in his favor but bottom line, I am a girl and I see no reason for my having to support a boy- especially since I have worked hard to get where I am and I don't see why they can't. He should be able to support himself like I support myself. I am not materialistic in the least but I prefer money to not be an issue at all.

Edited October 21, 2008 by girlx

[Gravelrash]

And your point is?

What woman anywhere in the world wouldnt consider the financial security and status of her proposed spouse? It's got nothing to do with being Thai, and everything to do with being human.

at the risk of wrath of the fairer members, I would suggest is has everything to do with being female.

Maybe it is the fact that in the West I have met women are more into just having fun and not really wanting to bind long term however in Thailand the women are looking for serious relationship and looking for someone who is more financial secure to build a relationship.

Now here is a thought, they were into having fun as it was filling in time while trying to find someone with money who was husband material.

[drronnie]

And your point is?

What woman anywhere in the world wouldnt consider the financial security and status of her proposed spouse? It's got nothing to do with being Thai, and everything to do with being human.

at the risk of wrath of the fairer members, I would suggest is has everything to do with being female.

Maybe it is the fact that in the West I have met women are more into just having fun and not really wanting to bind long term however in Thailand the women are looking for serious relationship and looking for someone who is more financial secure to build a relationship.

Every woman find security very important. Women subconscience is like that, What we men don't seems to realise that for a woman the man who can give her a child and the man who is the best fit to take care her end her offspring are two different things. Every psychology Doctor can tell you this.

No wonder why many women marry up a rich man to secure the finances and then they have a geek for having sex.

[LongThaimer]

sorry to be blunt....

r u lookin for a women who doesn't care about financial security aspect of a long term relationship/marraige....????

get yourself ready for monkhood.......LONG TERM .........

[bkkjames]

I think it is more about wanting a guy who can take care of himself rather than one who will take care of us (women). I dated a couple of guys of lower economic status than I am (Thai) and I would never do it again. There is usually a reason they are of lower status, I think- lazy, stupid, unambitious... If the guy works hard it is a point in his favor but bottom line, I am a girl and I see no reason for my having to support a boy- especially since I have worked hard to get where I am and I don't see why they can't. He should be able to support himself like I support myself. I am not materialistic in the least but I prefer money to not be an issue at all.

the two sentences I have bolded contradict each other no Girl x?

[drronnie]

sorry to be blunt....

r u lookin for a women who doesn't care about financial security aspect of a long term relationship/marraige....????

get yourself ready for monkhood.......LONG TERM .........

I second that.

[midasthailand]

sorry to be blunt....

r u lookin for a women who doesn't care about financial security aspect of a long term relationship/marraige....????

get yourself ready for monkhood.......LONG TERM .........

I second that.

I would be curious to know if you are a Non-Thai how is it that you came to be working in an office in Thailand, getting the same salary as the female office staff (between 9,000-15,000 / month)? How can a thirty year old male from overseas possibly survive on the same salary as a local? Even shonky teachers get 30,000/month

[bkkjames]

sorry to be blunt....

r u lookin for a women who doesn't care about financial security aspect of a long term relationship/marraige....????

get yourself ready for monkhood.......LONG TERM .........

I second that.

I would be curious to know if you are a Non-Thai how is it that you came to be working in an office in Thailand, getting the same salary as the female office staff (between 9,000-15,000 / month)? How can a thirty year old male from overseas possibly survive on the same salary as a local? Even shonky teachers get 30,000/month

haha, perhaps the OP works at MK head office?

[Moonrakers]

sorry to be blunt....

r u lookin for a women who doesn't care about financial security aspect of a long term relationship/marraige....????

get yourself ready for monkhood.......LONG TERM .........

I second that.

I would be curious to know if you are a Non-Thai how is it that you came to be working in an office in Thailand, getting the same salary as the female office staff (between 9,000-15,000 / month)? How can a thirty year old male from overseas possibly survive on the same salary as a local? Even shonky teachers get 30,000/month

I am doing just that at the moment (15k) due to starting at the bottom of a new career ladder.

I do OK thanks to my wife bringing in a decent income.

Edited October 22, 2008 by globalj

[bkkjames]

sorry to be blunt....

r u lookin for a women who doesn't care about financial security aspect of a long term relationship/marraige....????

get yourself ready for monkhood.......LONG TERM .........

I second that.

I would be curious to know if you are a Non-Thai how is it that you came to be working in an office in Thailand, getting the same salary as the female office staff (between 9,000-15,000 / month)? How can a thirty year old male from overseas possibly survive on the same salary as a local? Even shonky teachers get 30,000/month

I am doing just that at the moment (15k) due to starting at the bottom of a new career ladder.

I do OK thanks to my wife bringing in a decent income.

A kept man, there is hope for us all!

[bonobo]

As I was eating last night, I remember taking a woman to the same restaurant a couple years ago.  This woman was my then g/f, and while I made much more than her, there were certain things she for which she insisted on paying (such as all our movies).  She never asked for money, and would often buy me presents.

Well, she had a friend who moved out of Bangkok to work at a hotel in Phuket, and when this woman came back for a visit, it became an opportunity for a number of other friends and my g/f's sister and cousin to get together. So she asked me if I minded if we all went to dinner. 

Of course, I assumed I was paying for it.  But for the first time, she asked me if I could pay, and then told me if she could pay me back later after we were alone together.  I shrugged it off and just paid the bill when it came, never asking her to pay me back. It wasn't until much later when I was talking with another friend that I realzed what had transpired. My g/f was frugal, and she was fiercely independant.  Yet is was important for her to have her family and friends see that her b/f was a good provider.  

So even though this woman was somewhat an exception to the concept that a woman seeks a good provider (she had some very unique views on life which I honestly think made other characteristics in a man more important to her), when surrounded by others, she still felt that gender-based and culturally-based pressure to have a man who could provide security.

[MiG16]

Ive deleted some more posts

and there are some that bother on flaming still here...but cos its mixed in with other valid comments, i havent had a chance.

Gonna remind everyone to play nice. no flaming, judgemental remarks in derogatory tone are not appreciated.

next offender gets a holiday. you all have been warned.

[samuibeachcomber]

yes you paying made her feel good,and made her look good infront of her friends.However she could have offered afterwards, when you were alone together, to go halves,now that would have made you feel good too even though you would have refused,right.

[bonobo]

yes you paying made her feel good,and made her look good infront of her friends.However she could have offered afterwards, when you were alone together, to go halves,now that would have made you feel good too even though you would have refused,right.

Actually, she offered to pay the whole bill before we went to the restaurant, telling me she wouild pay me back for it after dinner and after her friends and relatives left.  While she let me pay for dinner whenever we were together, I think she felt guilty because there were another 7 or 8 of her friends there, and she didn't want me to pay for them.  And yes, of course I did not accept her offer and I just paid the bill out of my pocket.

[drronnie]

sorry to be blunt....

r u lookin for a women who doesn't care about financial security aspect of a long term relationship/marraige....????

get yourself ready for monkhood.......LONG TERM .........

I second that.

I would be curious to know if you are a Non-Thai how is it that you came to be working in an office in Thailand, getting the same salary as the female office staff (between 9,000-15,000 / month)? How can a thirty year old male from overseas possibly survive on the same salary as a local? Even shonky teachers get 30,000/month

yes, I am a non Thai however I agreed to a Thai salary because I just wanted to work and was tired of half a year unsuccessful job search. I take the public bus to work everyday and live in an apprtment for 3,500 Baht and I am doing fine. I even go and eat at Siam Paragon once a month.

[girlx]

QUOTE (girlx @ 2008-10-21 18:14:54) *

I think it is more about wanting a guy who can take care of himself rather than one who will take care of us (women). I dated a couple of guys of lower economic status than I am (Thai) and I would never do it again. There is usually a reason they are of lower status, I think- lazy, stupid, unambitious... If the guy works hard it is a point in his favor but bottom line, I am a girl and I see no reason for my having to support a boy- especially since I have worked hard to get where I am and I don't see why they can't. He should be able to support himself like I support myself. I am not materialistic in the least but I prefer money to not be an issue at all.

the two sentences I have bolded contradict each other no Girl x? rolleyes.gif

no not at all- if i date someone at the same economic level as I am, & he can take care of himself just as I can take care of myself- money is never an issue.

Edited October 22, 2008 by girlx

[MasterOfDisaster]

yes, I am a non Thai however I agreed to a Thai salary because I just wanted to work and was tired of half a year unsuccessful job search. I take the public bus to work everyday and live in an apprtment for 3,500 Baht and I am doing fine. I even go and eat at Siam Paragon once a month.

Why don’t you ask for a pay rise so you can eat at the paragon more often?

[bkkjames]

QUOTE (girlx @ 2008-10-21 18:14:54) *

I think it is more about wanting a guy who can take care of himself rather than one who will take care of us (women). I dated a couple of guys of lower economic status than I am (Thai) and I would never do it again. There is usually a reason they are of lower status, I think- lazy, stupid, unambitious... If the guy works hard it is a point in his favor but bottom line, I am a girl and I see no reason for my having to support a boy- especially since I have worked hard to get where I am and I don't see why they can't. He should be able to support himself like I support myself. I am not materialistic in the least but I prefer money to not be an issue at all.

the two sentences I have bolded contradict each other no Girl x? rolleyes.gif

no not at all- if i date someone at the same economic level as I am, & he can take care of himself just as I can take care of myself- money is never an issue.

Not to belabour the point Ms Leatherface (ok I am), if you won't date someone of lower economic status than you, is that not an issue of money?

[bonobo]

QUOTE (girlx @ 2008-10-21 18:14:54) *

I think it is more about wanting a guy who can take care of himself rather than one who will take care of us (women). I dated a couple of guys of lower economic status than I am (Thai) and I would never do it again. There is usually a reason they are of lower status, I think- lazy, stupid, unambitious... If the guy works hard it is a point in his favor but bottom line, I am a girl and I see no reason for my having to support a boy- especially since I have worked hard to get where I am and I don't see why they can't. He should be able to support himself like I support myself. I am not materialistic in the least but I prefer money to not be an issue at all.

the two sentences I have bolded contradict each other no Girl x? rolleyes.gif

no not at all- if i date someone at the same economic level as I am, & he can take care of himself just as I can take care of myself- money is never an issue.

Not to belabour the point Ms Leatherface (ok I am), if you won't date someone of lower economic status than you, is that not an issue of money?

There is a good book titled Brain Sex which goes into the differences between men and women. They postulate that for some women, it is not the money itself, per se, but rather that money is indicative in our society of a successful individual. They are attracted to the man who is capable, and the money is just an indicator of that. This is also the type of woman who might be attracted to a politician or a religous leader who has no real money, but has exhibited success in his field.

Of course, others are attracted to the money in its own right so that they can spend it as they want.

[Maigo6]

I have talked to a couple of Thai friends who told me that for Thai women financial security and a well to do status is preferred when you are planning a long term relationship. What is up with that?

whereas women from the USA and UK all want men with no money.

[Maigo6]

Look at it this way mate (preparing for more wrath), if Thai fems weren't looking to you partly for financial security - they would have married / dated a Thai male.

I don't see too many farangs driving around in a Benz, I see plenty of Thais driving a benz.

Most Farangs ain't got a pot to pizz in........

[bkkjames]

Look at it this way mate (preparing for more wrath), if Thai fems weren't looking to you partly for financial security - they would have married / dated a Thai male.

I don't see too many farangs driving around in a Benz, I see plenty of Thais driving a benz.

Most Farangs ain't got a pot to pizz in........

Once Thai women cotton on to that fact, the days of the desirable fat smelly farang will be over.

You are right about one thing mate, most farangs in Benzes have some Thai like you driving us.

[CroBiker]

Look at it this way mate (preparing for more wrath), if Thai fems weren't looking to you partly for financial security - they would have married / dated a Thai male.

I don't see too many farangs driving around in a Benz, I see plenty of Thais driving a benz.

Most Farangs ain't got a pot to pizz in........

Once Thai women cotton on to that fact, the days of the desirable fat smelly farang will be over.

You are right about one thing mate, most farangs in Benzes have some Thai like you driving us.

James, Maigo has a valid point here.....it's true. In Phuket alone Thai Benz owners outgun foreigners in great numbers, at least according to my friend who works for Phuket Benz.

Edited October 22, 2008 by CroBiker