Grain Jai - Gren Jai - Grayn Jai

[whiterussian]

Please oh gurus, explain this concept to me.

The word first appeared in my consiousness when i turned down free food and drink from a friend, - just too generous.

i would appreciate any further definitions please..

Thank you very much!

[phaethon]

This has been discussed here:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/and3648and35...51-t216374.html

[Jeddah Jo]

Please oh gurus, explain this concept to me.

The word first appeared in my consiousness when i turned down free food and drink from a friend, - just too generous.

i would appreciate any further definitions please..

Thank you very much!

Greng Jai or เกรงใจ I take to usually have two meanings.

Most common is showing consideration to the feelings of others to avoid offending them (usually those having superior status).

But I think it can also be used if you are being too polite/courteous (possibly fawning).

So if a friend says it to you, it may mean they think you are being too polite for the level of friendship they think they have. But for a senior police officer you would probably be wise to be greng jai maak maak!

That's my take anyway

JJ.

[desi]

But I think it can also be used if you are being too polite/courteous (possibly fawning).

In 'Working with the Thais', when someone is too kreng gai - เกรงใจ , it's khee kreng gai - ขี้เกรงใจ

[meadish_sweetball]

That's my experience too. When somebody is referred to as เกรงใจ without a ขี้ before it, it is seen as a social grace and not as a vice.

[whiterussian]

Thanks guys, thanks for the link to the other page also.

Doesnt help me decide if i should ALWAYS accept the free food/drink (even if I am IM LAEO ) .

Yes he is above me in status. But i go everyday and dont want to seem to be a freeloader!

Arggh! play it by ear i guess.

[meadish_sweetball]

Follow your instincts and it should be fine. You don't have to bend over backwards to think like Thais, just try your best to be civil according to your own cultural norms and that is enough in most cases.

In my experience a polite Thai might accept (but just eat very little) after politely denying a few times.