I have recently been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Thailand,.. I am from scandinavia. I met her on my first trip to Thailand early this year and after that I have visited her 2 times. She always said she loved me and wanted a future with me.... but I have not been sure about her because I have not always trusted her....maybe I have been paranoid...but I dont know.

After my second visit we had a break in our relationship...well I actually stopped contacting her for a while and later told her I was really not sure about her.... because... I just felt we where too different and I didn't have strong enough feelings. But when I go back home and as time goes I start to miss her and I think that I gave her up too easy. I also think that cultural differences could be a reason that I thought we where too different. So I contacted her again and after that we start to talk again on phone and we agree to meet again soon. During these phone calls I started to think different about her.... we could talk for hours and laugh... we never did that before.

My third visit was so different than the previous one... I started talk more to her and also to listen more... we connected in a way we did not do before.... I started to fall in love.... but we had some problems too...basically because of me being paranoid again... I don't know why but I always felt she was a golddigger and just wanted my money. One day I went trough her private things and I discover she stays with another man sometimes when I am in my home country. Well, to cut down to the core..... later I know they are just friends after the guy says he dont want her as girlfriend anymore. They met after my second trip....same time I left her. So I don't blame her for meeting him at that time, but she keeps contacting him after we connect again and she also gets money from him.... I give her money too but she says nothing about allready have money from him.

When I come home I am a little angry about this and I stop call her and I turn off my phone. I send her an email and ask if she can explain about that guy and explain about the money. She says she is sorry and will never do it again.... she says she loves me very much and she dont know how she can have a life without me.... She is sick for 3 weeks and miss me very much. I still dont call her but ask again in email if she can explain to me more....

She gets a little upset because of my emails....because I say I dont believe her and so on....so after 4 or 5 emails between us she decides to leave me.... suddently. I get panic and try to call her but the phone is turned off.... Now she does same ting as I did to her before. And now comes the strange part....I start to miss her like crazy and I regret I was so hard on her in my emails... I realize I love her... I cry and miss her many times.

So now I need an advice.... can I get her back ?????

I dont know too much about cultural difference...maybe I make her loose face and maybe pride is stronger than love in Thailand ?

I allready write her an email saying I am sorry and "please forgive me".... but so far... no reply.

What can I do (if anything?) to get her back to me..... send her money ? Is sending money a sign of Love for thai girls ?

Can I say something to her ?

I am Ting Tong now....I lost her and it's my fault. I just want to ask for forgiveness.....I never was afraid of loose her before because she always said to me that she will forgive anything because she loves me... but this time (so far) she do not forgive me... Does she not love me really ?...or is her pride hurt so much that she just want to forget me.....?

So this is a question to you thai girls in here....are there any hope for me getting her back ? If you really loved a guy, would you forgive him anything or would you quit relationship because of accusations of you being unfaithful and greedy ?

Is this a "Thai thing" that I just dont understand ?

Utah

Edited November 19, 200817 yr by utah

Money is not the real problem IMHO, but distance is. If you are serious about this relationship, you should find a way to live with her (in Thailand or in your home country) on a daily basis. She very likely wants stability more than money (money means security in her mind, but if you make the effort to live with her, you will be the one who brings her the security).

If you cannot live with her in the near future, it's probably better not to invest (on both senses) too much in this relationship (again, in my humble opinion). Don't forget that there's plenty of fish in the sea. You can remain good friends and you can start to learn the Thai language: it could help you to understand Thais better and to meet other girls at a later time if your relationship is doomed. There's also plenty of marvelous ladies in the Land of Smiles.

Edited November 19, 200817 yr by Goyave

so youre upset because she has had the final say?

Basically I would suggest you are immature and very much out of your depth with a long distance relationship. It also appears that she is a gold digger and maybe the present situation is the best for you.

Really, without any intention of being mean or sarcastic..... I'd say you're a basket case.... Give it up.... You sound like a combination of a 13-year-old school kid (who's going to turn off their mobile phone first...) and the self-described paranoid you seem to be...

Grow up, try to learn about Thai women in the real world, and then... maybe, just maybe...you'll be ready for a relationship someday.... but not from X thousand miles away.... and clearly not now.

before you had hand

now you've got no hand

but will have to use it

I strongly suggest that you read a book called "Thailand Fever"... this book is written in both Thai and English, though there may well be a version available in your own language...

The book explains some very crucial differences between western and Thai culture, and some of the misunderstandings that almost inevitably occur in the early stages of a cross cultural relationship. Things that you take for granted as being "just common sense" are often viewed totally differently in the east, and are some of the major pitfalls...

it was all about the money,

you made it hard work for her. emotionally yes. physically doubt it.

She gave up on you due to you being a pain in the ass.

Get real and move on. Plenty of others to play the game of life with.

Edited November 19, 200817 yr by Travelmate

I have recently been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Thailand,.. I am from scandinavia. I met her on my first trip to Thailand early this year and after that I have visited her 2 times. She always said she loved me and wanted a future with me.... but I have not been sure about her because I have not always trusted her....maybe I have been paranoid...but I dont know.

After my second visit we had a break in our relationship...well I actually stopped contacting her for a while and later told her I was really not sure about her.... because... I just felt we where too different and I didn't have strong enough feelings. But when I go back home and as time goes I start to miss her and I think that I gave her up too easy. I also think that cultural differences could be a reason that I thought we where too different. So I contacted her again and after that we start to talk again on phone and we agree to meet again soon. During these phone calls I started to think different about her.... we could talk for hours and laugh... we never did that before.

My third visit was so different than the previous one... I started talk more to her and also to listen more... we connected in a way we did not do before.... I started to fall in love.... but we had some problems too...basically because of me being paranoid again... I don't know why but I always felt she was a golddigger and just wanted my money. One day I went trough her private things and I discover she stays with another man sometimes when I am in my home country. Well, to cut down to the core..... later I know they are just friends after the guy says he dont want her as girlfriend anymore. They met after my second trip....same time I left her. So I don't blame her for meeting him at that time, but she keeps contacting him after we connect again and she also gets money from him.... I give her money too but she says nothing about allready have money from him.

When I come home I am a little angry about this and I stop call her and I turn off my phone. I send her an email and ask if she can explain about that guy and explain about the money. She says she is sorry and will never do it again.... she says she loves me very much and she dont know how she can have a life without me.... She is sick for 3 weeks and miss me very much. I still dont call her but ask again in email if she can explain to me more....

She gets a little upset because of my emails....because I say I dont believe her and so on....so after 4 or 5 emails between us she decides to leave me.... suddently. I get panic and try to call her but the phone is turned off.... Now she does same ting as I did to her before. And now comes the strange part....I start to miss her like crazy and I regret I was so hard on her in my emails... I realize I love her... I cry and miss her many times.

So now I need an advice.... can I get her back ?????

I dont know too much about cultural difference...maybe I make her loose face and maybe pride is stronger than love in Thailand ?

I allready write her an email saying I am sorry and "please forgive me".... but so far... no reply.

What can I do (if anything?) to get her back to me..... send her money ? Is sending money a sign of Love for thai girls ?

Can I say something to her ?

I am Ting Tong now....I lost her and it's my fault. I just want to ask for forgiveness.....I never was afraid of loose her before because she always said to me that she will forgive anything because she loves me... but this time (so far) she do not forgive me... Does she not love me really ?...or is her pride hurt so much that she just want to forget me.....?

So this is a question to you thai girls in here....are there any hope for me getting her back ? If you really loved a guy, would you forgive him anything or would you quit relationship because of accusations of you being unfaithful and greedy ?

Is this a "Thai thing" that I just dont understand ?

Utah

Let's start with where did you meet her? This will pretty much tell us all we need to know. Is she a bargirl? Why are you or would you send money? I knew a gril once with a boyfriend in the UK she would borrow my computer to send emails to him requesting $ and sign them - "love your little angel" I don't need to tell you what happened after closing the notebook. This wasn't even a bargirl. Chances are if they are asking you for money and saying they are in love right after meeting you... I agree with the other poster regarding maturity. Best advice is to forget about it and stop crying over someone that is most likely playing you. If you like Thai ladies there are so many nice ones here that are honest and genuine. I will never understand why one falls for a bargirl. Assuming yours was/is a bargirl.

I wouldn't give up just yet. If you send me her phone number, I'll try to patch things up for you.

In my experience .. Lower and middle class Thai women need money - to avoid work in the rice fields or living two to a room in a tiny dingy flat.

Agree that if you are not in Thailand with her, or she in Sweden with you, it aint gonna work how you want it.... She WILL find a sponsor - Thai or Farang. Its the Thai way.

A beautiful woman i know here is happily in her home village in the mountains getting 30,000 a month from a Thai guy in Bangkok - just to stay in her home town and away from other Thai men in Chiang Mai! (this woman is so hot even a TV presenter on Thai TV was trying to get with her)

Sponsorship from men is a way of life here from what i see. Especially if the girl is divorced or has a small child already (not uncommon with bar girls).

The way i look at it...

My fan can have a passport from me if i decide to leave the LoS. ie: i will happily give her an entry into the UK maybe as an insurance policy once her kid grows up and she gets fatter , to avoid her having to seek sponsors...

If we divorce in the UK after she has a passport, big deal.

Agree that learning Thai is a huge bonus, your chances of meeting a really decent thai woman are greatly improved.

So you have to decide if your chick thinks you are a ticket out of a slum life NOW, or a ticket to a happy life LATER. Either way money talks just as it does in farang land.

I wouldn't give up just yet. If you send me her phone number, I'll try to patch things up for you.

poor guy. I feel for you and we have all been there, well not me in Thailand but back when I was with a yanks gal. Go out with your bros and have a good time back home! If you have a copy of the movie Swingers sit back with some mates and a case of beer a watch it. This is always a good cure or better yet hop on a plane over here and you will meet a replacement within hours. Good luck!

Well, since there hasn't been a single response from either a woman or a Thai woman, I really see no reason for this to be in the Ladies forum.

Thanks for the answers. Yes she is a bargirl... and yes I am a basket case, lol.

Utah

Trolling is a sin. Personally I think this story stinks.

If only I could know where to meet such easy catches;I would have been happily married and sponsored by now

Thanks for the answers. Yes she is a bargirl... and yes I am a basket case, lol.

Utah

OK so you watch Swingers yet? next time no bar girls for a relationship take it as a lesson. Learn Thai and try talking to the girl at the ice cream shop or working at Watsons. You will still have to buy her things and your not going to get her in bed on the first date but maybe it will work out in the long run?

Given the complete disinterest of the Ladies of this forum in this topic, and the fact that the OP has been given and received any useful advice

//CLOSED//