Internet Dating - Pay Sites Versus Free Sites

[torrenova]

Following on from the interesting thread on internet dating I wondered if people would be willing to share their observations and feelings on paying for the service versus a free site.

A little knowledge and research seems to indicate that there are some sites which are free and allow communication both ways from male to female and vice versa without charge but that most seem to charge either the male or less frequently both parties for using the service.

How do people view this and from those who use or have used such sites, did you pay or are you paying ?

My take on it is that if the site is completely free then it will turn into a zoo and become a haven for sex tourists and those providing those services. Add in a fee for men and the same girls will still register but not in so great numbers. If both parties have to pay then I think you have a problem in Asia where many of the potential brides (and remember this is a Thailand forum) are much poorer relatively speaking and thus do not have money to register. Then you have no egg (women) and later no chicken (men).

In research I emailed a couple of pay sites asking for some statistics on their women members such as grouping by age, location and asking for total numbers and activity levels. No point in having 10,000 girls if they don't log in nowadays is there ? Not to my surprise, I failed to get any replies from the site owners. Nor do any sites I came across provide this information free to potential subscribers.

I will research more as it is a subject which interests me. I have a friend now married and with a baby on the way who did meet online. They are both English but I still have my reservations about her true motives. My friend is quite shy and for him this medium was perfect.

Any comments, particularly on the amounts one would be willing to pay would be very interesting.

[Maigo6]

Any comments, particularly on the amounts one would be willing to pay would be very interesting.

Thinking of starting a dating agency ?

[Travelmate]

Rather not pay thankyou very much.

[torrenova]

Any comments, particularly on the amounts one would be willing to pay would be very interesting.

Thinking of starting a dating agency ?

Not at all.

It came bout from a Singapore based accommodation site which recently went pay only or no contact between owners and tenants. Either can pay but it baffles me why owners trying to rent out their property do not pay and rely on prospective tenants to pay.

They charge SGD49 for a year which is hardly onerous but it begs the question how much people are paying or would be prepared to pay for a dating site. I mean, most people would probably risk $9.99 or $19.99 a year but I'm not sure many would pay that every month.

[Neeranam]

The websites that you have to pay for have professional email writers working for them.

I've known at least 15 people- male/female, thai/foreign who do the writing and MSN for the girls who can't speak a word of English and have never used a computer.

[1000baht]

Try www.plentyoffish.com , My uncle met his girlfriend there, and it seems very genuine, supposedly the largest dating site in the world, free as well. good luck.

[jackr]

Try www.plentyoffish.com , My uncle met his girlfriend there, and it seems very genuine, supposedly the largest dating site in the world, free as well. good luck.

Yep, Malcolm's doing very well out of that site. He programmed it so that it susses your IP address and thus location and brings you matches with those registered in your area. Users generate the content by filling in a profile and there's no need to charge as he's already making a million or so (bucks) every quarter off the ads. There are bigger sites but they generally have scores of people operating them.

[benjamat]

My experience is that the free sites have far more scammers and people who are just playing games than the pay sites.

On general dating site issues.

Approximately half of all ladies on even pay sites will be just trolling and not really serious, remember this.

About 40% will have unrealistic expectations and have big problems with language and children.

You should not agree to meet someone from the site too quickly, you may be being scammed.

You should not spend too long just communicating through sites. Arrange phone calls and if this is ok then arrange to meet.

In all cases take your time and always be looking for things that dont ring true and for contradictions.

If you apply common sense it really is a good way to meet people and you will learn a lot about each other before feeling you must make commitments.

Edited November 21, 2008 by benjamat

[bonobo]

I did some consulting for Match.com before it was launched (and like an idiot, didn't take a long-term contract in exchange for stock options). In the US, and I would bet this also holds true in other areas, younger men who pay for a site (most pay sites are "free" inasfar as putting in a profile, but require payment for an upgrade with better exposure or privileges) get a much better resposne rate than men who remain in the free section. As men get older, they become more desirable (not to the younger women who seek a younger guy, but to older women who are seeking a single, straight, economically stable gent), they are in demand more and more affluent women who pay become more aggressive on seeking them out.

I would also surmise that in Thailand, if a man pays for a membership, the fact that he is a 'gold" or "platinum" or whatever member holds some sway, and if he pays so that standard members can contact him, then he will get many queries from women who can't afford a paying membership.

I would also tend to agree with some other posters here that people who put profiles on completely free websites might be more frivolous about finding someone or might be more apt to be playing some sort of game.

[rixalex]

Try www.plentyoffish.com , My uncle met his girlfriend there, and it seems very genuine, supposedly the largest dating site in the world, free as well. good luck.

Yep, Malcolm's doing very well out of that site.

If you heard a loud noise don't be alarmed, it was just the sound of a name being dropped...

[jackr]

Try www.plentyoffish.com , My uncle met his girlfriend there, and it seems very genuine, supposedly the largest dating site in the world, free as well. good luck.

Yep, Malcolm's doing very well out of that site.

If you heard a loud noise don't be alarmed, it was just the sound of a name being dropped...

No issue there... he's well known on Webmasterworld, perhaps the biggest forum there is

[Plus]

There isn't such a big dating scene in Bangkok, mostly people/women look for long term relationships and marriage and come with a huge baggage of demands and what not.

I guess the society is not that open yet (not counting teens).

Thai section on craigslist is downright depressing - all women seems to be in "save me from suicide now!" mood, and the men are no better: "I have a nice body and I know how to use it. Whatever you show me on the pic you send I will match you with mine. How many ways can I give you the clue that I am only interested in the physical, not love?"

[torrenova]

Thais who can use computers seem obsessed with that Hi5 rubbish and those facebook type things. Both have major virus problems as friends of yours can piggyback on your address book and spam away. I will not open any mail or message from anyone even if I know them that has been generated by any such site.

What I have seen is that there seems to be a new business model which operates a free site, like Date in Asia and then leads you onto a pay site for supposedly better quality. Some friends use that site but complain that it is rubbish and often just a hang out for Philippine scam artists.

Quite interesting to me all this stuff.