How They Will Con You!

[Paagai]

Some in this thread seem to be trying to argue, Thai guys are all perfect, totally honest, and want nothing more than to settle down with a lover and live happily everafter. Why then was "goohok" one of the first words I learned in the Thai language?

The most sane response I've seen in this thread is the Alice in wonderland quote in Ijustwannateach's sig

[peekint]

It's not at all strange that partnerships among economically imbalanced couples are facilitated in the way recounted on this thread- especially if the couple entertain together and the restaurants, etc. are beyond the means of the actual income of one of the partners. However, there's a big difference between two working individuals with real lives in a ltr and one receiving extra money from someone who is basically a spouse, and dealing with chronically unemployed or underemployed types whose main economic activity is seeking partners rich and/or gullible enough to milk money from using lies and deception (the blatantly commercial types are honest by comparison). But I doan' know nuttin'.

"S"

I guess the stay-at-home Mom/Dad falls in that second category?

No. You are mixing apples and pomelos.

We're not talking about relationships and inequality of relationships. We are not talking about "two working individuals" or the "chronically unemployed or underemployed"

We are talking about scam artists who use loneliness and naivete as their levers to scalp their marks.

[Ijustwannateach]

Congratulations. You have identified that I am indeed discussing two groups in my post; however, you appear to fail to recognise that I am contrasting them, and that by contrasting them I am pointing out that they are different. Of course the group I refer to as 'chronically employed' is the same as the group you refer to as 'scam artists.' By underplaying the label, I use 'sarcasm' to enhance something called 'irony.'

[PeaceBlondie]

This is better than an argument in a pub halfway between Manchester and Birmingham, by two blokes who are more alike than they care to admit, but one prefers pink to lavendar.

[Ijustwannateach]

I think it's more like getting my M.6 students through an IELTS reading comprehension test, actually... (now, class: A is different *from* B, there is a difference *between* A *and* B, A is more different *from* B *than* C- watch these signpost words carefully...)

[onni4me]

This is better than an argument in a pub halfway between Manchester and Birmingham, by two blokes who are more alike than they care to admit, but one prefers pink to lavendar.

I thought that looking at the title of 1st poster, we would have heard juicy stories about 'how did they con me' but apparently there are none...

BTW, what did OP exactly give to this discussion? I mean it was rather general like a tourist point of view looking things through judging eye ware. I have heard so numerous people suggesting me that Thailand is like that or Thailand is like this without having any experience of their own. If one hangs around small pond like Silom, what is there to be expected?

But juicy con stories...? Anyone? I love to hear from other peoples misery.

[peekint]

Congratulations. You have identified that I am indeed discussing two groups in my post; however, you appear to fail to recognise that I am contrasting them, and that by contrasting them I am pointing out that they are different. Of course the group I refer to as 'chronically employed' is the same as the group you refer to as 'scam artists.' By underplaying the label, I use 'sarcasm' to enhance something called 'irony.'

Naw, not irony and sarcasm. It's just confused syntax. 555

Anyway, still waiting for the "point" of this thread.

I thought the OP was going to introduce various "scam" scenarios he was aware of?

[Kaojai]

(Please note: I do not want to be insulting to Thai people, who I think are wonderful. I am not putting everyone in the same basket. However...

I have been living in Bangkok for four months and will be leaving by the end of december. Being young and very inexperienced when I first arrived here,

Can one assume that after living in Bangkok for 4 months you are no longer young and/or inexperienced?

I think in some cases visitors to Thailand consider themselves to be rather sophisticated & worldly, as well as being awash in cash with which to impress the (allegedly) naive, country bumpkins who reside in third-world-esque Thailand and consider Thais to possess little more than a brilliant smile and a desire to cater to the sahibs and memsahibs on their journey through exotic lands.

Please note:I do not want to be insulting to farang people, who I think are wonderful. I am not putting everyone in the same basket. However...

As P.T. Barnum was wrongly credited with saying:"There's a sucker born every minute."

Your warning is probably well worth reading for people planning their first journey to the Land of Smiles, not so much as a caution against the iniquitous Thais, but rather that they, young & inexperienced farangs or old desperate farangs, are considered low-hanging fruit in many quarters.

Edited December 6, 2008 by Kaojai

[peekint]

Your warning is probably well worth reading for people planning their first journey to the Land of Smiles, not so much as a caution against the iniquitous Thais, but rather that they, young & inexperienced farangs or old desperate farangs, are considered low-hanging fruit in many quarters.

I agree. It seems to me this whole thread was rather just to say "look out for those cheating Thai Guys". I was expecting to see some interesting posts about particular techniques used by hustlers (of any race, age, or nationality) to scam their marks. Or, at worst, some first-hand stories. In retrospect, I realize the latter was unlikely, since the story would likely reveal more about the scammed than the scammer!

If no one has any useful knowledge on this subject to impart, we should just put this thread to bed.

[chuck_s]

(Please note: I do not want to be insulting to Thai people, who I think are wonderful. I am not putting everyone in the same basket. However, I am opening this thread in order for people to be warned about some of the most common traps farang oh so often fall into. When I am referring to "them", I am talking about the kind of boys I try to warn you about.)

I have been living in Bangkok for four months and will be leaving by the end of December. Being young and very inexperienced when I first arrived here, I fell into a trap with a Thai boy. I have suffered a great deal with my "ex-boyfriend" and am now scared of going on the street because of multiple threats. His "friends", some of them mob guys, will and have done anything for money...

I do not want anybody to end up in the same situation. That's why I want to open a listing of the most common lies, tricks and traps. Add your own personal experience to the thread and help newcomers enjoying their stay in this wonderful country we live in and finding a boy who will be after something else than the size of their wallet.

1. Probably the most important advice. Do not think that you are too clever to believe their lies. Thousands of people before you believed that... they were wrong! Believe me, they can be extraordinary liars.

* OK, that can be true to a degree. Buyer beware, if to good to be true, run.

2. When trying to start the relationship, they will often pretend they have money. They will buy you drinks, invite you for dinner, pay for the taxi, etc...This is an investment! A popular misconception is that Thai people don't think about tomorrow. Building their spiderweb takes time. At first you might think "Why would he be after my money? He knows I am leaving soon and never asked me for anything." My answer to that: wait and see.

* Not always. But you have to see him / her and how their friends are. go out one time to a popular place and see who knows him / her. Their friends friend tend to stick together and play the same game, but not always true to a degree. Remember this is Thailand and their culture where they come from, where their family lives, where they go to school. if you are willing to

3. If going to DJ Station, be aware that about 80% of the boys on the second floor are boyfriends for hire.

* Yes and No. You have to fish them out. But, you can spot them very fast: actions, dress style, first sentences they use. But, don't judge them all. You might be wrong and pay for it dearly, he will walk away and you will never see you. He will dislike you forever, really.

4. There are many wealthy Thai people in Bangkok. However, don't forget that the nationwide average income is THB 6000-8000/month. If a boy tells you he works in a clothing store and owns a car, a fancy phone or any other expensive things, start asking yourself questions. There is most probably one or more farang sending money every month.

* Thailand is a 3rd world nation and Thai have learned how to live within their means.They see you has being a rich foreigner who has come to Thailand, maybe they will develop a relationship with you and you will take them to some foreigner country to live, they hope.

5. Giving your key to someone, be it only for a day or for going grocery shopping for you when you are away is very risky. They will not steal from you because they want to keep you (this is more likely to happen during a one-night-stand), but they might not want to leave anymore. You will end up with the boy staying at your place, pretending it is only for one week or so. Believe me, once they moved in, they have no intention of leaving and it will be extremely hard to kick him out!

* I would not even do this to anyone in Thailand, until you known them and your neighbors / property manager knows them.

6. You will only realize what you have put yourself into when it is too late. Talk to friends and/or relatives and ask them for their opinion.

* Good advice, for most. But also be careful of their advice to. if they come to Bangkok for the sex, then don't take their advice.

7. The police will not help you with interpersonal problems. Be aware that Bangkok nightlife is great, but a very dark place. Calling the police might get you into more trouble than them.

* That is true to a degree, but it also depends on how you know and if your Thai neighbors are willing to help out or act as a mediator to you and the police. The police tend to trust a Thai more then you, sorry to say that, but it is true.

OK...so much with what I have to say now. Please add your own advices and comments!

I don't mean to be rude. But how long have you been here in Thailand. It is like an adult version of Disneyland, and they are very famous with their Thai smile and friendliness. This song - One night in Bangkok pretty much sums up life here in Bangkok for the tourist, to a tee.

Bangkok, Oriental setting

And the city don't know that the city is getting

The creme de la creme of the chess world in a

Show with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute

Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it

All change -- don't you know that when you

Play at this level there's no ordinary venue

It's Iceland -- or the Philippines -- or Hastings -- or --

or this place!

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster

The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free

You'll find a god in every golden cloister

And if you're lucky then the god's a she

I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One town's very like another

When your head's down over your pieces, brother

It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity

To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town --

Tea, girls, warm, sweet

Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite

Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist

Whose every moves among the purest

I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

Siam's gonna be the witness

To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness

This grips me more than would a

Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

And thank God I'm only watching the game -- controlling it --

I don't see you guys rating

The kind of mate I'm contemplating

I'd let you watch, I would invite you

But the queens we use would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage

parlours --

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster

The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free

You'll find a god in every golden cloister

A little flesh, a little history

I can feel an angel sliding up to me

[peekint]

I don't mean to be rude. But how long have you been here in Thailand. It is like an adult version of Disneyland, and they are very famous with their Thai smile and friendliness. This song - One night in Bangkok pretty much sums up life here in Bangkok for the tourist, to a tee.

Thailand is not the tourist scene in Bangkok.

For the vast majority of us who have lived here for some time, we know that defining Thailand by the "singles" scene in BKK is like defining San Francisco by the sex clubs on Broadway or Paris by Place Pigalle.

If to you, Thailand is like Disneyland, then you know Thailand as well as the Chinese tourist who knows the USA because he rode Magic Mountain.

[RAMPAGE]

I ran some threads of a similar ilk a few years ago for the benefit of newbies, expats, and those living in denial, but they were not well received either by their target audience or by those who no longer needed such advice. As a general rule of thumb, if you meet someone within 1km of Silom, it's probably more trouble than it's worth- that's all I'll say.

Alas, I must hasten to add the exception to the rule stated above. Not a bad rule actually, and I can't totally disagree with it; however I met my partner on the BTS Saladaeng station and we have been very happily married for 5 and half years.

[peekint]

I ran some threads of a similar ilk a few years ago for the benefit of newbies, expats, and those living in denial, but they were not well received either by their target audience or by those who no longer needed such advice. As a general rule of thumb, if you meet someone within 1km of Silom, it's probably more trouble than it's worth- that's all I'll say.

Alas, I must hasten to add the exception to the rule stated above. Not a bad rule actually, and I can't totally disagree with it; however I met my partner on the BTS Saladaeng station and we have been very happily married for 5 and half years.

My husband and I met 15 years ago at the McDonald's in Robinson Department Store on Silom.

[PeaceBlondie]

Okay, a story about many non-scammed Thais and one non-scammed farang, all of them gay. Bertrand (who hates being called Bertrand) came here over four years ago, and has been far more sexually active here than he was back in Bournemouth or Billingsgate. Bert's first night in BKK was an eight inch dream, and he saw that guy several more times. And Bert has been with lots of others. I met Bert here in Chiang Mai, and he's a butterfly, 'married' to a gay Thai man who knows Bert has his fly in the butter.

Bert never scammed any Thai boy, never lied about sex partners. His boyfriends knew, and enjoyed Bert's sexual escapades and Bert's money. Several of Bert's flings finally found a long term farang or Thai lover, and everybody is still on speaking terms. Nobody stole nothing from nobody. No deceptions.

[peekint]

Okay, a story about many non-scammed Thais and one non-scammed farang, all of them gay. Bertrand (who hates being called Bertrand) came here over four years ago, and has been far more sexually active here than he was back in Bournemouth or Billingsgate. Bert's first night in BKK was an eight inch dream, and he saw that guy several more times. And Bert has been with lots of others. I met Bert here in Chiang Mai, and he's a butterfly, 'married' to a gay Thai man who knows Bert has his fly in the butter.

Bert never scammed any Thai boy, never lied about sex partners. His boyfriends knew, and enjoyed Bert's sexual escapades and Bert's money. Several of Bert's flings finally found a long term farang or Thai lover, and everybody is still on speaking terms. Nobody stole nothing from nobody. No deceptions.

Didn't Tom Cruise do a movie along those lines?

[JackHamond]

I don't mean to be rude. But how long have you been here in Thailand. It is like an adult version of Disneyland, and they are very famous with their Thai smile and friendliness. This song - One night in Bangkok pretty much sums up life here in Bangkok for the tourist, to a tee.

Thailand is not the tourist scene in Bangkok.

For the vast majority of us who have lived here for some time, we know that defining Thailand by the "singles" scene in BKK is like defining San Francisco by the sex clubs on Broadway or Paris by Place Pigalle.

If to you, Thailand is like Disneyland, then you know Thailand as well as the Chinese tourist who knows the USA because he rode Magic Mountain.

I agree with both of you. Jsut moved to thailand about 3 months ago and I do to to some of those places in Silom. The boys don't bother me, but I do see it. I met a nice man not here, but naer my home which is near one of the major public universities. Good man, but if you come here and not able to stand the heat, then this is not for you.

[notime]

Thank you all for a good thread: one that we can all learn from.

Thais have a village/community mentality. They take hardly any decissions alone and prefer to consult with friends, family and other Thais. They accumulate a baggage of info about Farang and about the actions of their peers that motivates them to act in certain ways. These ways better be understood by us farangs if we are to survive and do well in LOS. This is one of the first lessons we can learn from Thais.

Okie, now to the specific experiences. Everyone is different and everyone's experiences depend on their age, looks and personality. But when I read of young farang experieneces, even that some are different than mine (I'm a bit aged) the money factor shows through as many of the boy's motivation.

I meet a boy in the club. Name .. name .. shake hand in Western style. Next come the question: "How much will you pay me?" I walk off. Meet him few weeks later .. he keeps looking at me .. no talk about money this time, I just buy him drinks and we finish up in bed. Sorry Mother Teresas out there but I believed he might have changed or re-evaluated me and in the end he is so cute. He asks me if I really like him, yes I do, and if I would like him to stay "long-term", yes I do. The idea he comes up with is that I pay him 10,000 a week. The "long-term" means about a month. I gave him some money and send him off.

I meet a boy in the club. He comes to me, we dance, I buy drinks, we finish in bed. He asks me next morning if I really like him and if that would be okie if he move in with me. Hmm .. I say, we just have met, maybe give me a little bit more time. I send him off. Phone calls next day, I want to see him again but he doesn't turn up. I see him around later, he has a Thai bf and surprisingly says hello. Very kind. Most of the 1ns I unintentionally had don't recognise me.

I meet a boy in the club. Name .. shake hands .. can I buy him a drink? .. and .. also drink for his friends??? Pass.

I meet a boy in the club. He is with a lady friend but talk nicely. I buy them drinks. Later at night finish fuc_king him in the bushes a bit out of town. He asks me to take him back to the club after. I go home but when I arrive I notice my mobile phone and money missing from the pocket of my jeans. I go back to the club and still find him around. He greets me with an uneasy smile but I aproach from behind and pretending to start dancing with him slide my hand into his pocket. I pull my mobile out, leave him the money (wasn't that much) and asks him not to steal mobile phones since they contain lot's of important numbers. I realise that he must have reached into my pockets when my pants were down and I was banging him from behind. I though about fun, he thought about money.

I meet a boy, don't remember where and how. While we are in hotel having sex his mobile rings. He picks it up and says: "Hello Honey". This is his BF calling from Denmark so he continues the conversation for quite some time while we are fuc_king. "When are you going to send me money Honey? And what about the visa?". He later explains to me he has several BF's supporting him. He is a very cute and sweet guy from Issan but do I want to be in the running?

Okie, this is just a glimpse of many of my experiences. I could carry on but don't want to bore you with too long text all in one. Maybe next time .. hehehe.

Best of luck to everyone!

[Paagai]

I meet a boy in the club.

That about sums it up..............Caveat emptor

[Navalator]

SCAM ALERT-AN EXAMPLE OF A SCAM:

The Gay Romeo names of this con artist is CHACK1985, KENGMARK and HECKMAN, and others. He changes names frequently to escape retribution by his marks. His target is older, gay white guys. Be especially alert when dealing with him. He is English speaking Thai confidence man and scam artist and is very polished and clever in relieving you of your money without delivering any services. His specialty is to promise to meet you and then call advising that he has run out of gas and is stranded in Nan province, without money and food and needs you to wire funds to his Bangkok Bank account. He will then tell you that his grandmother had a heart attack and that he used some of the money to take her to the hospital so (...send more money please…) and that it is very dangerous for gays in Issan and he has to escape. He will never show up and will not answer his cell phone. If he does show up he will rob you. He is not even gay although he purports to be. He will then re-contact you and beg forgiveness and that he will pay you back if you will send him money to come to Pattaya to get a job. He will phone every 30 minutes begging for money to be transferred to his bank account and that he is frightened and in danger where he is stranded. He is an accomplished liar and a thief. BEWARE! If you do not do as he says he will threaten to kill you or says he will go to the police to get you deported. He is a toothless tiger as the threats are all a bluff.

[Paagai]

SCAM ALERT-AN EXAMPLE OF A SCAM:

The Gay Romeo names of this con artist is CHACK1985, KENGMARK and HECKMAN, and others. He changes names frequently to escape retribution by his marks. His target is older, gay white guys. Be especially alert when dealing with him. He is English speaking Thai confidence man and scam artist and is very polished and clever in relieving you of your money without delivering any services. His specialty is to promise to meet you and then call advising that he has run out of gas and is stranded in Nan province, without money and food and needs you to wire funds to his Bangkok Bank account. He will then tell you that his grandmother had a heart attack and that he used some of the money to take her to the hospital so (...send more money please…) and that it is very dangerous for gays in Issan and he has to escape. He will never show up and will not answer his cell phone. If he does show up he will rob you. He is not even gay although he purports to be. He will then re-contact you and beg forgiveness and that he will pay you back if you will send him money to come to Pattaya to get a job. He will phone every 30 minutes begging for money to be transferred to his bank account and that he is frightened and in danger where he is stranded. He is an accomplished liar and a thief. BEWARE! If you do not do as he says he will threaten to kill you or says he will go to the police to get you deported. He is a toothless tiger as the threats are all a bluff.

So how much did he take you for?

I know Thai guys who practically live in the internet cafe and make a good income doing exactly this; its nothing new. It always amazes me the ease with which some Farang will send money to a complete stranger they've just met on the internet. How gullible can you get? More money than sense I guess, sorry but I have zero sympathy for anyone scammed in this way.

[nicolas18]

I have been living in Bangkok for four months and will be leaving by the end of december. Being young and very inexperienced when I first arrived here, I fell into a trap with a Thai boy. I have suffered a great deal with my "ex-boyfriend" and am now scared of going on the street because of multiple threats. His "friends", some of them mob guys, will and have done anything for money...

On a related subject, I would like to warn people of a certain waiter working at Balcony named Nat. While *extremely* friendly, he likes to borrow a lot of money from customers. Money which is of course never repaid.

[BarryM]

^ once met a cute HK boy on line and offered him ticket to visit UK when Oasis were doing crazy cheap fares. He showed up at Gatwick where I'd thoughfully booked a room for him to freshen up in.

And all up was still cheaper than dinner at Nobu with a boy that likes sushi. Trouble is Thais have all these visa problems that Malays and HK don't suffer from. I wonder how busy LOS would be if the mountain were able to visit Mohammed......

[dseawarrior]

erm insert thai girls into thai boys and this whole thread does not change a bit,

EXACTLY!!!

"Tuktong na krab!" (as a famous Thai game show host is very fond of saying)

Learn the people, learn the language, learn the culture and learn not be be scammed more than once by the same game...

...with all that in mind, enjoy the ride...

[bernett]

Learn the people, learn the language, learn the culture and learn not be be scammed more than once by the same game...

Correct.

Use common sense, and not blindfolded by what's in front of you. There're lots more (boys) out there, and you're better off being a flirtacious butterfly.

He is not your boyfriend, if you can't speak Thai.. and of course, deep down you'll know if he is a Boyfriend or not. If he ask you for money for whatever reasons, on a frequent basis - he is with you for the money. I think most people survive well with about 6,000 - 8,000thb salary p/ month, although it's abit unimaginable living conditions that they may live in. Stay here long enough, and you'll know a nice gay guy (to be your BF).. and perhaps not that charming, but if he's sincere. just stray sometimes.

I think it's best to have a boyfriend who sleeps over sometimes only, while he may spend majority of the week in your apartment. But he should spend a day, or two back in his own.... and if you feel that you want him out, just tell him that you're going to be 'away' for a month, or two. So it's best for him to bring his clothes out (and I think he'll bring them out himself). For example, going back to country or something (like visa run)... and than don't contact him for a few days, and than breakoff on the phone. It's cruel, but more problem-free for you.

In my experience, if you're with a stay-in boyfriend who do likes you (money-boy is another story!). If you keep a obvious distance, and not hug him for a few nights. he will starts to clean your apartment, cook you meals. If you're not responsive, than he will leave automatically. The same for money-boys, who 'believe' that you're really in love with him... the boy will leave (thinking that you'll beg him to come back), to his surprise... you don't call him at all. LOL.

[Jingthing]

Oh dear, some of these really sound like dog training tips. No bad dogs! (I never believed that.)

Edited January 24, 2009 by Jingthing