New Alphabet

A is for apple, and B is for boat,

That used to be right, but now it won't float.

Age before beauty is what we once said,

But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now

The Alphabet

A's for arthritis;

B's the bad back,

C's the chest pains,

Perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention,

G is for gas which we'd rather not mention.

H High blood pressure--We'd rather it low;

I For incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,

K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L 's for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory; we forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions. We have quite a few,

Just give us a pill and we'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting our fears,

T is for Tinnitus; bells in our ears!

U is for urinary; troubles with flow;

V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?

X is for X-ray, and what might be found.

Y for another year we are left here behind,

Z is for zest WE still have -- in OUR minds.

We've survived all the symptoms, our body's deployed, and

We're keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed.

IF YOU ARE OLD, HAVE A GREAT DAY.

IF NOT, YOUR TURN WILL COME!