What Do Thai Wives Want From Their Farang Husbands?

[Lucifer]

What she wants is ...money, your money, all of it. Then for you to pi$$ off, and leave her, her Thai b/f and her family to spend it.

[F1fanatic]

Quite a funny thread really, the normal "numbskull brain dead responses" from those with "engrained prejudice".

Simple things really, I have been happily married to a nice Thai girl for nearly 20 years now. No issues or worries.

Compliments..........Thai girls like a few compliments, presents and surprises from time to time.

Keeping her in "wife mode".........you are the boss, this is Asia, you rule the house, you make decisions. Try to go about this "western fat pig ugly wife" way and discuss or ask.......and she will lose respect for you. Therefore, consult her opinion sometimes, but you make the decisions, even if really its what she wants, just do what she wants but it was your decision.

Face.........she has a certain "level" of face to keep, as will her family, if she is married to a farang. This means that certain things will be required, and it will cost a little money, but this is Asia, this is the way it works........men pay families for their girls, paying for the "costs" of raising a girl.....this is what a "dowry" is...........understand the needs and control it, do not let it control you.

If you have the right girl, you will be very happy.

Do not listen the nay sayers..........they are kind of like the people who follow ambulances to look at crashes...........they are only looking for the small percent that fail and ignore the large percentage that work fine.

Typical male that comes to Thailand 'cos he can't keep a woman in the West and needs a servant, not a partner.

[Patsycat]

Eek, I am with you there. When will these sort of people realise that not all of us are pig ugly fat women? I have said numerous time here that I am a 5'7" slim red head.

They talk about when their pig ugly fat western wives took them to the cleaners when they were divorced - but not a lot of them come out of the woodwork when their "perfect, little, slim Issan wife" took them to the cleaners too when they were the "fat, pig ugly BROKE" men...

To the OP - i wish you all the luck and happiness.

[Lix]

farang women love money too, i don not know why this is only attributed to thai women. My word you would be hard pushed to find a frang women that would enjoy going out with a broke bum. Women globally like men who work hard and become the 'alpha provider' of the pack. The majority of friends with Thai girlfriends/wives say their women just expect to be respected and do not like arguements , heated debates and holding grudges like i have experienced many times with farang gf's. Make her feel special as i am sure she is, thats a universal rule, every woman grows up dreaming of being treated like a princess by someone she truly loves. Share household duties do not let her be a slave , maid or door mat.

Can people not just answer the post for once instead of trying to second guess the poster and pick holes in their life when all they are trying to do is enjoy some forum interaction and obtain some varied feedback.

[eek]

Well patsycat, thats what some men like to keep locked in their brain.

As for me..I cannot count the amount of times where I have been happily and quietly sipping a coffee somewhere (and most times reading a book..as I enjoy quiet moments for myself) and a western man strikes up a conversation with me. Im happy to engage in some pleasant conversation (well, i mostly listen, because im quite shy and not big on talking to people i dont know well), but often the conversation turns to how they were stung by a Thai woman and are no longer interested in gold-digging Thai girls. Some have even said to me that at one point they couldnt even stand to be around any western women until they realised they regret thinking that way. I just smile and say that ive heard similar before, and try to make a polite excuse to leave. Often before i get up to go, im asked if I would like to sit a while longer with them, or go for a bite to eat. Smile and tell them I have to meet my bf, but thank you anyway. Thing is, neither stereotype is true..the gold-digging Thai woman and the Fat feminazi blah blah western woman. I know stereotypes dont arise from thin air, but still, the picture painted for both cultures is too extreme.

Also, im same height as you Patsy, slim (even by Thai standards), and take care of my appearance. Im certainly no feminazi type, but dont walk around with "doormat" written on my forehead either. So terribly sorry if that defies the much loved and spouted stereotype of my western culture.

[rgs2001uk]

I would experct there are as may different answers to this as there are Thai/Farang Marriages.

However, as a general rule, the basis on which the relationsip started is a pretty good guide to the way it will continue.

not often i agree with guesthouse, however from what i have seen over the years, the chances of the marriage lasting is inversely proportional to the amount of sin sot paid.

[F1fanatic]

farang women love money too, i don not know why this is only attributed to thai women. My word you would be hard pushed to find a frang women that would enjoy going out with a broke bum. Women globally like men who work hard and become the 'alpha provider' of the pack. The majority of friends with Thai girlfriends/wives say their women just expect to be respected and do not like arguements , heated debates and holding grudges like i have experienced many times with farang gf's. Make her feel special as i am sure she is, thats a universal rule, every woman grows up dreaming of being treated like a princess by someone she truly loves. Share household duties do not let her be a slave , maid or door mat.

Can people not just answer the post for once instead of trying to second guess the poster and pick holes in their life when all they are trying to do is enjoy some forum interaction and obtain some varied feedback.

Talk about 'rose tinted' glasses! Yes, of course farang women like money too. The difference is that they don't prostitute themselves to obtain it. You see the odd woman in the West with an older, unattractive male, but it's VERY, VERY rare. Most couples in the West are reasonably matched. If there is any lack of "arguments , heated debates and holding grudges" (not what I've heard!) amongst mixed relationships here, it's 'cos the wife is an unequal partner, and knows it!

Must quickly add that I know 2 mixed relationships here that work. In both cases the wife is subservient to the husband.

Edited January 31, 2009 by F1fanatic

[waza]

Im planning on marrying a Thai woman in March. I would like to know what some of your experiences have been getting married to and being married to a Thai woman. Did anything change after you became husband and wife? What do you find makes her a happy woman? What do you do that really upsets her?

Hmmm, my Mia likes me, likes to recieve presents, to be treated special. She gets upset when I go with other women or fart in public.

[waza]

Well patsycat, thats what some men like to keep locked in their brain.

As for me..I cannot count the amount of times where I have been happily and quietly sipping a coffee somewhere (and most times reading a book..as I enjoy quiet moments for myself) and a western man strikes up a conversation with me. Im happy to engage in some pleasant conversation (well, i mostly listen, because im quite shy and not big on talking to people i dont know well), but often the conversation turns to how they were stung by a Thai woman and are no longer interested in gold-digging Thai girls. Some have even said to me that at one point they couldnt even stand to be around any western women until they realised they regret thinking that way. I just smile and say that ive heard similar before, and try to make a polite excuse to leave. Often before i get up to go, im asked if I would like to sit a while longer with them, or go for a bite to eat. Smile and tell them I have to meet my bf, but thank you anyway. Thing is, neither stereotype is true..the gold-digging Thai woman and the Fat feminazi blah blah western woman. I know stereotypes dont arise from thin air, but still, the picture painted for both cultures is too extreme.

Also, im same height as you Patsy, slim (even by Thai standards), and take care of my appearance. Im certainly no feminazi type, but dont walk around with "doormat" written on my forehead either. So terribly sorry if that defies the much loved and spouted stereotype of my western culture.

Hmmm great statement, now get off your soapbox and get back in the kitchen, the men are talking.

Sorry got annoyed with all the "I", statements and the very little relevance to the OP's question.

Edited January 31, 2009 by waza

[eek]

bleh

(i get the feeling this thread is starting to go waaaayyy off topic!)

[Patsycat]

Tall. slim western women - Stand up and unite!!! Or even the wee dumpy ones...

We can be lovable and caring and oh so sexy too....

Edited January 31, 2009 by Patsycat

[F1fanatic]

Tall. slim western women - Stand up and unite!!! Or even the wee dumpy ones...

We can be lovable and caring and oh so sexy too....

Have you not bothered reading the posts? We may be lovable and caring (not to mention sexy!), but most farang men in Thailand (not all thank god!) want subservient and devious enough to pretend they 'love you too much' convincingly!

[dumball]

Quite a funny thread really, the normal "numbskull brain dead responses" from those with "engrained prejudice".

Simple things really, I have been happily married to a nice Thai girl for nearly 20 years now. No issues or worries.

Compliments..........Thai girls like a few compliments, presents and surprises from time to time.

Keeping her in "wife mode".........you are the boss, this is Asia, you rule the house, you make decisions. Try to go about this "western fat pig ugly wife" way and discuss or ask.......and she will lose respect for you. Therefore, consult her opinion sometimes, but you make the decisions, even if really its what she wants, just do what she wants but it was your decision.

Face.........she has a certain "level" of face to keep, as will her family, if she is married to a farang. This means that certain things will be required, and it will cost a little money, but this is Asia, this is the way it works........men pay families for their girls, paying for the "costs" of raising a girl.....this is what a "dowry" is...........understand the needs and control it, do not let it control you.

If you have the right girl, you will be very happy.

Do not listen the nay sayers..........they are kind of like the people who follow ambulances to look at crashes...........they are only looking for the small percent that fail and ignore the large percentage that work fine.

I believe you have it on the ball , it is all about control and when you start it and continue to apply it , it is not truly control , more a kindly leading hand .

[F1fanatic]

Tall. slim western women - Stand up and unite!!! Or even the wee dumpy ones...

We can be lovable and caring and oh so sexy too....

Have you not bothered reading the posts? We may be lovable and caring (not to mention sexy!), but most farang men in Thailand (not all thank god!) want subservient and devious enough to pretend they 'love you too much' convincingly!

er.... who told you this?

er.... experience

[rainman]

I think some western women may be taking some posts in this thread the wrong way. Likewise some western men in this thread should not single out western women as all bad or whatever. I've had good and bad experiences with women of different cultures. Good or bad does not depend on the culture but on the person. There's good or bad everywhere. I probably know of more couples who's relationships in Thailand that are based only on money than I know of couples in Europe or North America, but the men in both cultures are blind in my opinion or know it but don't care. Anyways, that's not the point.

To the thread starter, I really don't know what to say to you except that if you don't know what your wife likes or wants, then you should give it another few months or maybe a year or two before getting married.

Let's face it, women of every culture like money. And so do men. If the woman you liked was poor and living under the bridge (extreme scenario, I know) had a twin sister who's personality and everything was exactly the same but was rich and living in a nice house, who would you be attracted to more? It's natural, we all like and are attracted money.

The difference is if you make money the base of your relationship or not.

[dumball]

Tall. slim western women - Stand up and unite!!! Or even the wee dumpy ones...

We can be lovable and caring and oh so sexy too....

Have you not bothered reading the posts? We may be lovable and caring (not to mention sexy!), but most farang men in Thailand (not all thank god!) want subservient and devious enough to pretend they 'love you too much' convincingly!

er.... who told you this?

I think F1 has learned this by her own personal experience , you should not deny her this , many misquote second hand renditions .

Patsycat , this is a problem of Western ladies , you need to learn that 2 is company , 3 is a crowd , yes , you are sexy and lovable , but why do you listen to and believe your sexualy independant friends ? A hand 'up' may be thrilling , but there is absolutely nothing that can replicate 'The real thing ' given in a loving manner . Men are , despite thier flustering , sexualy shy beings due to all the talk and steriotyping about size and performance being the ultimate desire of the ladies at large . They also need some encouragement and pandering , look past what seems like macho , woo the man as you expect to be woo-ed , life is a two way street , you just do not represent what you think is the be all and end all of a mans desires , he , after all , only wants what you want , a compatable friend who is willing to compromise .I am fortunate in that I have found my Shangrai-la (Finaly) , but I am proven wrong on a daily basis , my wife 'Found' me and does her best to show me why on a daily basis , despite me , I am so fortunate , I am an old man in my declining years , she is a vibrant , full of life young lady , no , I am far from rich monetary wise , but rich beyond belief in her mind , I show her my love and respect from the moment she opens her eyes each and every morning .

List ye not to the dis-enfranchised , go forth and enamour the man of your desires , ye cometh yet but once for a short time on this humble abode called earth , love it to the fullest potential within thine bosom , thou art woman , thou art mighty , but thou art also only human , live within the means of thine appeal .

[F1fanatic]

I think some western women may be taking some posts in this thread the wrong way. Likewise some western men in this thread should not single out western women as all bad or whatever. I've had good and bad experiences with women of different cultures. Good or bad does not depend on the culture but on the person. There's good or bad everywhere. I probably know of more couples who's relationships in Thailand that are based only on money than I know of couples in Europe or North America, but the men in both cultures are blind in my opinion or know it but don't care. Anyways, that's not the point.

To the thread starter, I really don't know what to say to you except that if you don't know what your wife likes or wants, then you should give it another few months or maybe a year or two before getting married.

Let's face it, women of every culture like money. And so do men. If the woman you liked was poor and living under the bridge (extreme scenario, I know) had a twin sister who's personality and everything was exactly the same but was rich and living in a nice house, who would you be attracted to more? It's natural, we all like and are attracted money.

The difference is if you make money the base of your relationship or not.

Of course, EVERYONE looks at potential partners with the subconscious idea of 'will they be a good partner'. The difference is that in the West women don't look for money foremost (on the whole!)! They're looking mainly for love, entirely different from the expectation of a male farang/thai woman here.

Edited January 31, 2009 by F1fanatic

[473geo]

I think some western women may be taking some posts in this thread the wrong way. Likewise some western men in this thread should not single out western women as all bad or whatever. I've had good and bad experiences with women of different cultures. Good or bad does not depend on the culture but on the person. There's good or bad everywhere. I probably know of more couples who's relationships in Thailand that are based only on money than I know of couples in Europe or North America, but the men in both cultures are blind in my opinion or know it but don't care. Anyways, that's not the point.

To the thread starter, I really don't know what to say to you except that if you don't know what your wife likes or wants, then you should give it another few months or maybe a year or two before getting married.

Let's face it, women of every culture like money. And so do men. If the woman you liked was poor and living under the bridge (extreme scenario, I know) had a twin sister who's personality and everything was exactly the same but was rich and living in a nice house, who would you be attracted to more? It's natural, we all like and are attracted money.

The difference is if you make money the base of your relationship or not.

Of course, EVERYONE looks at potential partners with the subconscious idea of 'will they be a good partner'. The difference is that in the West women don't look for money foremost (on the whole!)! They're looking mainly for love, entirely different from the expectation of a male farang/thai woman here.

Sorry F1 I fall in straight away.......no deeper analysis of anything other than does this feel right.....

I guess I'm not everyone then.....oh dear....

[rainman]

Of course, EVERYONE looks at potential partners with the subconscious idea of 'will they be a good partner'. The difference is that in the West women don't look for money foremost (on the whole!)! They're looking mainly for love, entirely different from the expectation of a male farang/thai woman here.

If you could have the same man with lots of money or completely broke, which one would you take? And obviously you don't go looking for your future husband in the homeless shelter and the guy sitting on the street begging for money doesn't stand a chance even if he looks like Brad Pitt or George Clooney.

I agree with you, it happens a lot less in western countries than here, but it does happen. Not so much in the "middle class" social circles, but a lot more in the "upper class". Perhaps in Thailand it happens more because the average middle class man is already considered upper class here.

[F1fanatic]

I think some western women may be taking some posts in this thread the wrong way. Likewise some western men in this thread should not single out western women as all bad or whatever. I've had good and bad experiences with women of different cultures. Good or bad does not depend on the culture but on the person. There's good or bad everywhere. I probably know of more couples who's relationships in Thailand that are based only on money than I know of couples in Europe or North America, but the men in both cultures are blind in my opinion or know it but don't care. Anyways, that's not the point.

To the thread starter, I really don't know what to say to you except that if you don't know what your wife likes or wants, then you should give it another few months or maybe a year or two before getting married.

Let's face it, women of every culture like money. And so do men. If the woman you liked was poor and living under the bridge (extreme scenario, I know) had a twin sister who's personality and everything was exactly the same but was rich and living in a nice house, who would you be attracted to more? It's natural, we all like and are attracted money.

The difference is if you make money the base of your relationship or not.

Of course, EVERYONE looks at potential partners with the subconscious idea of 'will they be a good partner'. The difference is that in the West women don't look for money foremost (on the whole!)! They're looking mainly for love, entirely different from the expectation of a male farang/thai woman here.

Sorry F1 I fall in straight away.......no deeper analysis of anything other than does this feel right.....

I guess I'm not everyone then.....oh dear....

Lucky you??? Falling in love at first sight certainly happens, but it's fairly rare and - I dare to suggest - probably not to be recommended! Even more so here!

[duceahearts]

...started to read this thread but so much negativity, the guy was just asking a question "what makes your wives...." and the shooting starts, maybe the other post on the following pages are better but I can't be bothered to read pages of negative shit to find out.

[F1fanatic]

...started to read this thread but so much negativity, the guy was just asking a question "what makes your wives...." and the shooting starts, maybe the other post on the following pages are better but I can't be bothered to read pages of negative shit to find out.

I know, it's hard to imagine why people are so negative about Thai women, thinking they're just interested in money!

Edited January 31, 2009 by F1fanatic

[473geo]

I think some western women may be taking some posts in this thread the wrong way. Likewise some western men in this thread should not single out western women as all bad or whatever. I've had good and bad experiences with women of different cultures. Good or bad does not depend on the culture but on the person. There's good or bad everywhere. I probably know of more couples who's relationships in Thailand that are based only on money than I know of couples in Europe or North America, but the men in both cultures are blind in my opinion or know it but don't care. Anyways, that's not the point.

To the thread starter, I really don't know what to say to you except that if you don't know what your wife likes or wants, then you should give it another few months or maybe a year or two before getting married.

Let's face it, women of every culture like money. And so do men. If the woman you liked was poor and living under the bridge (extreme scenario, I know) had a twin sister who's personality and everything was exactly the same but was rich and living in a nice house, who would you be attracted to more? It's natural, we all like and are attracted money.

The difference is if you make money the base of your relationship or not.

Of course, EVERYONE looks at potential partners with the subconscious idea of 'will they be a good partner'. The difference is that in the West women don't look for money foremost (on the whole!)! They're looking mainly for love, entirely different from the expectation of a male farang/thai woman here.

Sorry F1 I fall in straight away.......no deeper analysis of anything other than does this feel right.....

I guess I'm not everyone then.....oh dear....

Lucky you??? Falling in love at first sight certainly happens, but it's fairly rare and - I dare to suggest - probably not to be recommended! Even more so here!

5 times I've been lucky.... ....I'm an incurable romantic who takes care of whoever is around me....I like giving, it gives me pleasure, I like to see the enjoyment on the faces of the adults and children, alike. I have adopted this approach all over the world wherever I travel. I give from my heart, sometimes a cheerful smile is not enough to lift the downcast spirits, a gift from the pocket is necessary where more practical assistance is required. I work to maintain my family it is family money, not mine.....in answer to the op That is what I enjoy, taking care of those close to me...and guess what I think my lady does too I have no opinion on how others choose to spend.......

[Freddie_fly]

Ladyheather - maybe I am trying to get some ideas of how to be a good husband. Whats your problem?

Not a problem, just a lack of comprehension. If you are trying to get an idea of how to be a good husband why are you asking men? Women don't always tell their husbands when he does something she doesn't like, just as not every husband knows everything that makes his wife happy. If you are just doing a poll or some kind of questionairre because you are curious, then thats fine too. But if you are looking for information on how to make your fiancee happy, I hope that you would talk to her about what she wants before taking the advice of strangers on a forum.

Love that reply, "why are you asking men", its perfectly reasonable, and a very good answer and totally designed to get lots of men jumping on the forum and saying Hey....wait a minute !!.

Just for the record ladyheather I totally agree with you, and I am a man ( at least I think I am.....so many confusing things here in Thailand).

My wife is confrontational, educated, incredibly sexy, yet also traditional chinese thai, talks dirtier to me than any bargirl I ever met, yet is scared to visit a 'girly bar', because 'bad women there'. She blows hot and cold over trivial matters, every 4 weeks she turns into mrs Hyde, then says the most romantic things to me, took me on knowing she would have to give up a well paid job to look after my 8 (now 10) year old daughter from a previous relationship. Wears clothes that her parents think are scandelous (and they blame me because I buy them on the internet), looks good in hand me downs but oh so much better in those clothes from ennialingerie.com that I bought. Gets angry with me for not cooking farang food for her, because she knows I am a better cook, but took the time time to go back and ask mum to teach her to cook so she can cook thai food for me, makes me feel 10 feet tall, and then cuts me down with a sly look at the kitchen and a nod toward the oven cleaner, makes me feel proud when she introduces me to her hi-so friends who appear on television every day on the morning shows, then tells me if I look at those girls again like that she will cut it off and feed it to the ducks, worries all the time about her weight and then orders me to cook a full english breakfast every day because she loves those Yorkies port sausages with chives and garlic, gives me a hard time when I look at another woman on the street and then tells me she say a luk-krueng law law, sexy toot, today.

in short, every woman in the world is different and the same, they want to feel loved and appreciated, they want romance and dirty sex, they want to be raised up on a pedastal, but they want to be just a normal loving woman, buy her flowers, kiss her when she doesnt expect it, hold her hand in the movies, look into her eyes and tell her how you feel when you see her, and most of all, agree with everything she says even when you know its wrong... welcome to the wonderful world of relationships

regards

Freddie

[Boo]

thai women this, western women that. the problem with western women blah blah blah!!! <deleted>. some of the people on this thread need to grow a clue.

It didn't take long for this thread to deteriorate into the usual hateful crap aimed at women which is against our rules.

CLOSED.