Hello Ladies

Let me tell you my story. I lived in Thailand from 2006-2008, I loved it. My Thai is pretty good and I have a Thai boyfriend. This past September I came back to Canada to study for a year and the plan was to return to Thailand once I finished school, my boyfriend wanted to get married and I was excited about this.

I though things were fine between us; I even came to Thailand for the month of December to hang out with him. We talked on the phone often and it seemed all was well. Then he recently dropped the bomb. He told me that back in November, at a festival, he got drunk and had sex with a 17 year old girl. She's now pregnant and saying it is his. He says he doesn't think it is his child though because he wore a condom and this girl has sex with everyone. But now he said he is going to give her 40,000 baht to "fix" the situation, even though he insists to me that the child is not his and wants to get married to me.

I'm beside myself with disgust.

What do you think? Have you ever head anything like this?

Well this sort of thing happens the world over, obviously the lad can't remain faithful. Surprisingly enough not sure why he told you?

Well this sort of thing happens the world over, obviously the lad can't remain faithful. Surprisingly enough not sure why he told you?

I know it is weird that he told me because he could have just left and I would never know - he just said he wanted to be honest with me...

he just said he wanted to be honest with me...

sounds like a decent man.

Easy, DNA test,.

Either he is stupid, or story teller, but anyway, I would tie my life with him (if I were a woman). It is a disaster waiting to happen

Well this sort of thing happens the world over, obviously the lad can't remain faithful. Surprisingly enough not sure why he told you?

Maybe because he dosent have the 40.000 baht

He is going to give her the money - but his money or yours

If he is asking you for the money then I would say its the reverse sick buffalo scam ? If its his money then dump him as he is an idiot for telling you?

No, I don't think he's an idiot for telling her, shows honesty which isn't a bad thing

I do think he's an idiot for getting drunk and having sex with a 17 year old girl tho, its up to the OP if she can live with that or not.

As for the money, agree, if he's asking you for the money then I wouldn't give him a dime and that would be the end of the relationship as well, if its his money then he's also at least showing responsibility for his own behavior.

Kind of a catch22 tbh, he is doing the decent thing for what could be (and I do stress the could be) a one time act of utter stupidity. Could be he's also a serial womanizer but only time would tell on that point.

Either he is stupid, or story teller, but anyway, I would tie my life with him (if I were a woman). It is a disaster waiting to happen

I obviously wanted to write " I would NOT tie my life with him"

this is rather a dilemma-- of course it is going to be hard to trust again even if you decide to give him another chance after what happened-- but at least he was man enough to tell you. but the another question is, is he appealing to your good sense for the money to "fix" it or what?

Oh no he has not asked me for the $$ he is going to pay for it somehow

are DNA tests easy to get in Thailand ?

Since even marriages which start "all square" often/inevitably run into problems, it does not seem a good idea to carry this baggage into one. Suspicion will may always be under the surface. If he asks you for the money, I suggest forget it.

Oh no he has not asked me for the $$ he is going to pay for it somehow

Somehow! Suggests that he isn't so finacialy solvent - so the question of money may come later once the dust has settled a little.

Or it may be his way of ditching you. I know it would work for many guys - if they told their partners that they had knocked up some young girl.

Or as a 3rd option he may be just stupid. Not a good selection of reasons - unfortunately

Edited February 2, 200917 yr by misterman21

Oh no he has not asked me for the $ he is going to pay for it somehow

Somehow! Suggests that he isn't so finacialy solvent - so the question of money may come later once the dust has settled a little.

Or it may be his way of ditching you. I know it would work for many guys - if they told their partners that they had knocked up some young girl.

Or as a 3rd option he may be just stupid. Not a good selection of reasons - unfortunately

I'm going for option 3 - STUPID !

Girl is underage to boot, I wonder if he might have some legal issues as well unless he coughs up? Very bad judgment since he basically said the whole village was having a go at her, but never the less - using an excuse to justify his own actions.

Girl is underage to boot, I wonder if he might have some legal issues as well unless he coughs up? Very bad judgment since he basically said the whole village was having a go at her, but never the less - using an excuse to justify his own actions.

OHHH It's so gross ! I'm a teacher too - she's the same age as my students !

Sounds like you've made up your mind and don't need anyone's advice at all.

Get out of this relationship now, and go on with your life. The guy will only bring troubles. Not married yet, and you already have to cope with this dirty story (underage girl, pregnant even when using a condom, several partners, etc, etc.....) . What next ??

remember...guys should be lining up to be with you, especially village elephant boys. never depend on a boy for a dream. make it yourself, boys come later worry about the noise later, first lola number 1....

He says he doesn't think it is his child though because he wore a condom and this girl has sex with everyone.

I won't tell you to stay with or leave this guy, just find the right balance between your head and your heart and then make your decision. If you decide to stay with this guy here is my advice, before renewing your sexual relationship, march this guy to the nearest hospital/clinic and have him tested for STD's. Condoms are not 100% effective against std's or pregnancy, and the possibility that this girl "has sex with everyone", makes me feel that this could be a high risk situation. Please look out for yourself!

As an aside, is your bf sure she is pregnant? This girl could be running a scam, on multiple guys, maybe this is why she sleeps around. If a lady (I'm talking about a casual relationship here) came to me claiming that I had gotten her pregnant and wanted money from me to "take care of the situation" I would make sure that she was pregnant before handing over any cash.

Tell him "Bye bye", being drunk is no excuse anyways.

I have a friend who was seeing a guy for a while. They weren't that serious, but he started seeing another girl. A Thai girl. Who apparently he was seeing before. It was all very confusing. He would say he hated her, and he would go and sleep with my friend every night. And this girl would call up at all times screaming. Eventually the guy confessed that this girl was pregnant. So my friend backed away so he could "do the right thing". So he goes back to the Thai girl. Fair enough. Thing is, she wasn't/isn't pregnant. It was all a very odd situation - even his friends seemed genuinely perplexed about the whole thing. So my friend is now well over the loser...but still very weirded out by the whole thing. But none of us, even over several bottles of wine, have ever got the bottom of the whole episode...apart from to work out that he was either after money (both my friend and the thai girl have money) and he couldn't work out which goose was the goldenest....or that he just couldn't find a nice way to break up with my friend.

No advice I could give in your situation. I should probably tell you to leave the loser, but every one knows that is easier said than done. You don't say how old her is? My personal feeling is unless he is 21, 17 is waaaaay too young and bordering on the sick. Also 40k sounds an awful lot for an abortion. Has he been asked to stump this money? Have you been? Lastly, is he the kind of guy who finds it impossible to lie - to you or anyone? Because unless he is..I cannot see any reason why he would drop this little bombshell, with so many details as well. Unless there was an ulterior motive....

I like what Graham said - listen to yourself as much as you can. Talk to your friends and listen to them. Try not to listen to him. He is only going to tell you what you want to hear. Chock dee : )

Edited February 2, 200917 yr by mssabai

I think this is a scam !

Stay out of it or be prepared to pay.

OH! Lets be clear here ! I'm not paying anything!

If its a scam, its an incredibly stupid one.

Scams work on the basis that you pity the victim and pay out of kindness - motorbike accident, sick relative, buffalo plastic surgery etc.

Get out of this relationship now, and go on with your life. The guy will only bring troubles. Not married yet, and you already have to cope with this dirty story (underage girl, pregnant even when using a condom, several partners, etc, etc.....) . What next ??

Sorry Lola, but you are pretty pathetic. If you really need advice on this one, then not much hope for you im afraid. Put it down to a very bad experience and move on. Get on with your life.

Girl is underage to boot, I wonder if he might have some legal issues as well unless he coughs up? Very bad judgment since he basically said the whole village was having a go at her, but never the less - using an excuse to justify his own actions.

OHHH It's so gross ! I'm a teacher too - she's the same age as my students !

What's so gross about a natural act ? The age of consent in Thailand is 15... The age of concent in UK is 16 .. Unless the guy is 50 year old and sweet talking his way into young girls pants I can't see there there is anything gross about it.. I though Victorian ideas about sex being gross were a thing of the past... Don't know about others but I was sexually active long before I was 16 and so were my girlfriends at the time.. I was responsible even at that age and used contraception.. Never caught an STD and never made anyone pregnant.. Nothing wrong with sex between to consenting people...

But back on topic... The guy admitting his mistake is hopefully just him being honest and not wanting to cover up a an embarrasing and guilty feeling episode.. Also means that the story or the girl involved can't pop up in the future and trouble your relationship... I wouldn't get too hung up over it.. Guy gets drunk, gets horny and a girl obliges him... Doesn't sound like it meant much to him and he has no interest in seeing the girl again.. Pretty common in Thailand as things like responsibility and pre planning aren't common traits.. You only have to see how many young unmarried single girls are left with kids here to see that.