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Another Thai Gf Cash Question

jackinbkk

By jackinbkk
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pop_corn Silver Member

pop_corn

Posted
Posted
Why is she not looking for other work and just expecting you to pay for everything?

Sounds like she is lazy and just getting you to pay for everything. If you don't treat your relationship with her as normal thai/thai relationship then you are opening yourself up to be fleeced.

If she doesnt have work then perhaps start a business with her and ensure she pays you back. If you let her think you will just pay for everything from now on then she will become even more lazy and it will just get worse.

I'll tell you a story:

My gf wanted to go to her friends birthday party. She wanted to buy her a 340baht bottle of whiskey and she wanted me to pay for it. It's her friend so I found that attitude to be very odd. I said how much are you going to pay towards it?

She exploded a little and asked "you want my last 60 baht?"

I didnt react and let it sink in that she just said something very stupid without saying anything. She then realized it not my job to pay for everything for her. She told me she would sell her gold necklace to pay her friends gift. I could see this was her solution to her money problem. It was from her grandma but she really started looking for how she can cover her own expenses.

I always play the relationship as they would expect in a thai/thai relationship. I dont act out the rich farang and wont let her treat me like that. When we go out with her friends they have to pay their share and they do. Only in this way would you acheive a real relationship in their eyes.

If you let them walk all over you then they cant repsect you and will fleece you then move on. Just think in their shoes. If you were her what would you think or do?

Some rich farang lives with you and he pays everything and lets you not have to work and then you need some money for something important and you know he likes you so why not ask him to pay and see what happens. Stop acting like a rich old farang and start acting like a man and woman in a real relationship. And then you can have a real relationship... or you will discover it never was a real relationship in the first place and you can move on to a real one.

You really sound like a total as_shole. <deleted>? how can you care about 300 baht? O_o so.. what kind of life do you have that 300 baht make a deal? O_o.. it is like NO money at all! Poor rat.

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F1fanatic Platinum Member

F1fanatic

Posted
Posted
Why is she not looking for other work and just expecting you to pay for everything?

Sounds like she is lazy and just getting you to pay for everything. If you don't treat your relationship with her as normal thai/thai relationship then you are opening yourself up to be fleeced.

If she doesnt have work then perhaps start a business with her and ensure she pays you back. If you let her think you will just pay for everything from now on then she will become even more lazy and it will just get worse.

I'll tell you a story:

My gf wanted to go to her friends birthday party. She wanted to buy her a 340baht bottle of whiskey and she wanted me to pay for it. It's her friend so I found that attitude to be very odd. I said how much are you going to pay towards it?

She exploded a little and asked "you want my last 60 baht?"

I didnt react and let it sink in that she just said something very stupid without saying anything. She then realized it not my job to pay for everything for her. She told me she would sell her gold necklace to pay her friends gift. I could see this was her solution to her money problem. It was from her grandma but she really started looking for how she can cover her own expenses.

I always play the relationship as they would expect in a thai/thai relationship. I dont act out the rich farang and wont let her treat me like that. When we go out with her friends they have to pay their share and they do. Only in this way would you acheive a real relationship in their eyes.

If you let them walk all over you then they cant repsect you and will fleece you then move on. Just think in their shoes. If you were her what would you think or do?

Some rich farang lives with you and he pays everything and lets you not have to work and then you need some money for something important and you know he likes you so why not ask him to pay and see what happens. Stop acting like a rich old farang and start acting like a man and woman in a real relationship. And then you can have a real relationship... or you will discover it never was a real relationship in the first place and you can move on to a real one.

You really sound like a total as_shole. <deleted>? how can you care about 300 baht? O_o so.. what kind of life do you have that 300 baht make a deal? O_o.. it is like NO money at all! Poor rat.

She was prepared to sell a present from her grandmother to buy a bottle of whiskey??? (Unless you changed your mind and bought it for her. Did you?)

Sounds like a wonderful person with all the emotional and caring attributes anyone could possibly ask for!

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jimmym40 Silver Member

jimmym40

Posted
Posted

Her request sounds reasonable to me. If this is the first time she's asked for help, I'd put up. It's not a lot of money. But keep this in mind, this could be the beginning of a bigger scam. Just play it out. I would think if she wanted to really scam you, she would have come up with something that would scam you out of more money than 7500 baht.

You could always offer to go along with her to pay the premium, wherever that may be. Then you could retain the receipt. If she backs down and doesn't want you to go, then that would send up a red flag.

Good Luck.

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pop_corn Silver Member

pop_corn

Posted
Posted
Why is she not looking for other work and just expecting you to pay for everything?

Sounds like she is lazy and just getting you to pay for everything. If you don't treat your relationship with her as normal thai/thai relationship then you are opening yourself up to be fleeced.

If she doesnt have work then perhaps start a business with her and ensure she pays you back. If you let her think you will just pay for everything from now on then she will become even more lazy and it will just get worse.

I'll tell you a story:

My gf wanted to go to her friends birthday party. She wanted to buy her a 340baht bottle of whiskey and she wanted me to pay for it. It's her friend so I found that attitude to be very odd. I said how much are you going to pay towards it?

She exploded a little and asked "you want my last 60 baht?"

I didnt react and let it sink in that she just said something very stupid without saying anything. She then realized it not my job to pay for everything for her. She told me she would sell her gold necklace to pay her friends gift. I could see this was her solution to her money problem. It was from her grandma but she really started looking for how she can cover her own expenses.

I always play the relationship as they would expect in a thai/thai relationship. I dont act out the rich farang and wont let her treat me like that. When we go out with her friends they have to pay their share and they do. Only in this way would you acheive a real relationship in their eyes.

If you let them walk all over you then they cant repsect you and will fleece you then move on. Just think in their shoes. If you were her what would you think or do?

Some rich farang lives with you and he pays everything and lets you not have to work and then you need some money for something important and you know he likes you so why not ask him to pay and see what happens. Stop acting like a rich old farang and start acting like a man and woman in a real relationship. And then you can have a real relationship... or you will discover it never was a real relationship in the first place and you can move on to a real one.

You really sound like a total as_shole. <deleted>? how can you care about 300 baht? O_o so.. what kind of life do you have that 300 baht make a deal? O_o.. it is like NO money at all! Poor rat.

She was prepared to sell a present from her grandmother to buy a bottle of whiskey??? (Unless you changed your mind and bought it for her. Did you?)

Sounds like a wonderful person with all the emotional and caring attributes anyone could possibly ask for!

Thats ANOTHER topic, and you are right, but as she is not here to read this I dont bother to say anything about it. But hello, this other guy complaining for 300 baht? what is that!!!!!!!! O_o

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F1fanatic Platinum Member

F1fanatic

Posted
Posted
Why is she not looking for other work and just expecting you to pay for everything?

Sounds like she is lazy and just getting you to pay for everything. If you don't treat your relationship with her as normal thai/thai relationship then you are opening yourself up to be fleeced.

If she doesnt have work then perhaps start a business with her and ensure she pays you back. If you let her think you will just pay for everything from now on then she will become even more lazy and it will just get worse.

I'll tell you a story:

My gf wanted to go to her friends birthday party. She wanted to buy her a 340baht bottle of whiskey and she wanted me to pay for it. It's her friend so I found that attitude to be very odd. I said how much are you going to pay towards it?

She exploded a little and asked "you want my last 60 baht?"

I didnt react and let it sink in that she just said something very stupid without saying anything. She then realized it not my job to pay for everything for her. She told me she would sell her gold necklace to pay her friends gift. I could see this was her solution to her money problem. It was from her grandma but she really started looking for how she can cover her own expenses.

I always play the relationship as they would expect in a thai/thai relationship. I dont act out the rich farang and wont let her treat me like that. When we go out with her friends they have to pay their share and they do. Only in this way would you acheive a real relationship in their eyes.

If you let them walk all over you then they cant repsect you and will fleece you then move on. Just think in their shoes. If you were her what would you think or do?

Some rich farang lives with you and he pays everything and lets you not have to work and then you need some money for something important and you know he likes you so why not ask him to pay and see what happens. Stop acting like a rich old farang and start acting like a man and woman in a real relationship. And then you can have a real relationship... or you will discover it never was a real relationship in the first place and you can move on to a real one.

You really sound like a total as_shole. <deleted>? how can you care about 300 baht? O_o so.. what kind of life do you have that 300 baht make a deal? O_o.. it is like NO money at all! Poor rat.

She was prepared to sell a present from her grandmother to buy a bottle of whiskey??? (Unless you changed your mind and bought it for her. Did you?)

Sounds like a wonderful person with all the emotional and caring attributes anyone could possibly ask for!

Thats ANOTHER topic, and you are right, but as she is not here to read this I dont bother to say anything about it. But hello, this other guy complaining for 300 baht? what is that!!!!!!!! O_o

So which is worse, a man refusing to pay 300 baht to buy a bottle of whiskey for his g/f's friend, or a woman happy to sell a present from her grandmother to buy a bottle of whiskey etc. etc.? :o I think we might have different ideas about that!!

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js1 Explorer Member

js1

Posted
Posted

So why is she not working? Although it's quietish now in Phuket, there are still many jobs around in hotels etc. My GF wanted a job as she was bored at home looking after our daughter, she had three job offers at reasonable hotels paying B8k to B10k per month. Not great money, but okay. Incidentally, now she's bored at work and wants to return to being a housewife Lol.

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Maizefarmer Platinum Member

Maizefarmer

Posted
Posted
Hi,

i'm a farang living in Phuket with my thai girlfriend.

She and I have lived together for 7 months now and as usual there have been ups and downs.

So far we have ridden them all out. I am very fond of this girl and she seems as fond of me.

In all the time we have spent together I have only ever paid for rent and bills(water, electric)

as we live together. I pay for food etc in our day to day lives.

Recently she has not been working. She now tells me she must pay about 7,500 baht for

her father's medical insurance/life insurance or something similar. I havent quizzed her too much. This covers him

for 6 months. She paid the last 1, 6 months ago by pawning some gold. She told me she got

10k for the gold and for a couple hundred baht she can have it kept until she repays the 10k

to get it back.

So just asking some advice. Does this sound familiar to anyone or could it be a scam?

She doesnt have the money so I will have to come up with it. She has 2 other sisters but

for some reason they dont pay this bill, it's down to her? Sounds like bull but I have no idea.

The idea of farang having a money tree scenario is probably playing out here again.

Thanks

You're been had - throw her out.

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Lix Explorer Member

Lix

Posted
Posted
Why is she not looking for other work and just expecting you to pay for everything?

Sounds like she is lazy and just getting you to pay for everything. If you don't treat your relationship with her as normal thai/thai relationship then you are opening yourself up to be fleeced.

If she doesnt have work then perhaps start a business with her and ensure she pays you back. If you let her think you will just pay for everything from now on then she will become even more lazy and it will just get worse.

I'll tell you a story:

My gf wanted to go to her friends birthday party. She wanted to buy her a 340baht bottle of whiskey and she wanted me to pay for it. It's her friend so I found that attitude to be very odd. I said how much are you going to pay towards it?

She exploded a little and asked "you want my last 60 baht?"

I didnt react and let it sink in that she just said something very stupid without saying anything. She then realized it not my job to pay for everything for her. She told me she would sell her gold necklace to pay her friends gift. I could see this was her solution to her money problem. It was from her grandma but she really started looking for how she can cover her own expenses.

I always play the relationship as they would expect in a thai/thai relationship. I dont act out the rich farang and wont let her treat me like that. When we go out with her friends they have to pay their share and they do. Only in this way would you acheive a real relationship in their eyes.

If you let them walk all over you then they cant repsect you and will fleece you then move on. Just think in their shoes. If you were her what would you think or do?

Some rich farang lives with you and he pays everything and lets you not have to work and then you need some money for something important and you know he likes you so why not ask him to pay and see what happens. Stop acting like a rich old farang and start acting like a man and woman in a real relationship. And then you can have a real relationship... or you will discover it never was a real relationship in the first place and you can move on to a real one.

Above- one of the best posts i have ever seen on this subject. Equality leads to respect, so start as you mean for your relationship to go on. If you won your lady over at the start by offering financial security that you may end up with problems later on if you are a but strapped for cash.

All the successful thai/frang relationships i know of where both parties appear happiest are those where both are contributing where possible. But also remember , what ever country you are in, if you date someone who is from a poor family and is not very well educated the likelyhood is they will not have a very good job or a job at all. Therefore you will end up paying for the majority of your life together. Saying that i know guys in the UK who date well off women but are still expected to plap the male cash cow role.

Tell her to find a job, even if it is part time, then at least she can contribute something towards your life together. This will be a true test of how much she wants to be with you and if she cares for your finances long term or just for her own short term gain.

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Maigo6 Platinum Member

Maigo6

Posted
Posted (edited)

These threads get more ridiculous as time goes by.

Why the fawk would you come to an internet forum asking total strangers about decisions you should make that could change your life, what are you 5 years old ?

Man...do the girl a favour and finish with her, she can't do any worse whoever she meets next.

Edited by Maigo6
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jtp Silver Member

jtp

Posted
Posted
Man...do the girl a favour and finish with her, she can't do any worse whoever she meets next.

Unless, of course, the person she meets is you, Maigo :D

:D Now thats scraping the bottom of the barrel! :o

:D

Just joking mate. :D It's pick on Maigo6 day today. :wai:

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Scott Star Member

Scott

Posted
Posted

I never pay for anything having to do with the family. That's there obligation, not mine.

In your case, if money is tight, I would be very careful about going down this very, very slippery slope.

On a more positive note, if she's a scammer, she's a good one and a 'keeper'. Heard and seen a lot of people get the 'touch' for a lot of things, but medical/life insurance isn't one of them--it's also probably a better investment in all those 'sick' buffaloes that never seem to make it anyway.

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bungy007 Advanced Member

bungy007

Posted
Posted
If she left you, how much would it cost, if you had to come up with a replacement bosom for a pillow? Seems to me the cost benefits might be looking to tossing Penelope some bills.

Arrh, now we hear the voice of reason. I would definitely go with this line of thinking - you've made quite a committment already and this may well stand you in good stead down the line. However, just be wary of it being the first of a long line of requests. Of course, don't forget that Thailand is a country which revolves around negotiations. :o You could offer to contribute as much as you can afford but she should accept that you have been out of work for 8 months, paying the bills, supporting her at the moment and a pay packet is still a longway off - you've been very reasonable! The other sisters could chip in if you pay 50% for example! Up to you, as they say in Thailand

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