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You Know You Are In Thailand When....


NewLifeNY

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I could write an entire book about this topic...but i will only add 2-3...

I know I am in Thaidland when...

Police stops me because i am a farang driving a big bike....

Cop: "lic. pls"

Me: "here you go sir...."

Cop:" well everything is in oder but i want you to pay me 300 baht because..ummm.your bike is black"

Me: "how about 200?"

Cop:" ok"

I dont have 200 bath bills, so i give him a 1000b note and he saids thank you, takes out his wallet....and gives me back 800b !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

You know you are in Thailand when you have to look 4 ways before corssing a 1 way street... :D

You know you are in Thailand when you see Fat, old nasty dudes walking around Pattaya shirtless, while girls scream "Hey, you hansome man"....... :o

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You know you are in Thailand when you book a time with any servicecompany, they say "i come afternoon sir" and dont show up until 4 days later after you reminded them 6 times/day. And you know you are in Thailand when they show up with a smile like nothing happened and they are doing everything as agreed. No appologies for being late.

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I know I'm in Thailand because my wife leaves the hotel at 3 in the morning and gets a taxi to Sukhumvit road (Soi Nana) and comes back with Issan food and stinks the room out.

I know I'm in Thailand when we visit the missus village and everybody is at the airport to meet us (It's a very small airport).

I know I'm in Thailand when I leave the airport and the heat hits you (I've come from Scotland, always baltic).

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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :o

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :o

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

You joking right?

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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :o

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

You joking right?

I experienced that several times....After a couple of times, you go to toilets only when you can not hold any longer ;-)

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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :o

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

The first time that happened to me was in a nightclub and I couldn't go with some guy rubbing my shoulders. I discovered after my brother in law had given him a handsom tip to look after me... Gotta love family!

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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :D

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

You joking right?

I experienced that several times....After a couple of times, you go to toilets only when you can not hold any longer ;-)

So wait, this is for real? i havent been here that long...but really???? Soem guy comes and massages you?...while you are peeing? what about when you are doing a number 2? :o

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Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

A simple "Mai Ow Krup" would have solved that. (I'm old enough to remember this too).

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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :D

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

You joking right?

I experienced that several times....After a couple of times, you go to toilets only when you can not hold any longer ;-)

So wait, this is for real? i havent been here that long...but really???? Soem guy comes and massages you?...while you are peeing? what about when you are doing a number 2? :o

Yes, number 2 you have to tip extra :D

Few years back in Manila Hard Rock there was a bloke with white gloves on giving you the massage. Also open the tap for you to wash your hands while he microwaved a hot towel for you.

Seriously not so common in BKK but country side yes, almost killed the first one that got me by the neck years back :D

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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :D

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

You joking right?

I experienced that several times....After a couple of times, you go to toilets only when you can not hold any longer ;-)

So wait, this is for real? i havent been here that long...but really???? Soem guy comes and massages you?...while you are peeing? what about when you are doing a number 2? :o

Yes, number 2 you have to tip extra :D

Few years back in Manila Hard Rock there was a bloke with white gloves on giving you the massage. Also open the tap for you to wash your hands while he microwaved a hot towel for you.

Seriously not so common in BKK but country side yes, almost killed the first one that got me by the neck years back :D

It makes me wonder the % of "attacks" he got from new foreingers on a day to day basis... :D

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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :D

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

You joking right?

I experienced that several times....After a couple of times, you go to toilets only when you can not hold any longer ;-)

So wait, this is for real? i havent been here that long...but really???? Soem guy comes and massages you?...while you are peeing? what about when you are doing a number 2? :o

This happened to me too in Udon Thani at a night club. But not only the back rub, after i finshed he then gave me a back crack and neck crack. I tipped him 10 baht which was half what the thais were tipping. Maybe thats why i never saw him again the other 5 times i went on other later weekends.

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You know you are in Thailand when you get your washing done by the appartment cleaner for just 50 baht ($2)

You know you are in Thailand when your girl friend correctly points out that a mini mart does not sell "food" (real food)

You know you are in Thailand when you you only get chraged $10 for a major traffic infringment and the policman politely explains that the ticket he gives you is a daily pass to keep violating that law... and he doesn't take a quarter of your license points away :D

You know you are in Thailand when you get a great value meal for less than a quarter of the price we get ripped off in the west.

You know you are in Thailand when you can ride to the corner store without a helmet and know you wont get busted with a $200 fine for not wearing a helmet.

You know you are in Thailand when you are living in a brand new appartment with air con, free internet fully furnished for $160 a month

You know you are in Thailand when you work into a shopping mall and feel you can afford everything.

You know you are in Thailand when your sexy gf picks you up from the bus station on her motorbike in her high healed sandels with her hair flowing in the wind. And she's done up to the hilt.

You know you are in Thailand when you only need to pay $30 a night for a really nice hotel room with drinks in the fridge and $3 dollar room service meals

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts.

You know you are in Thailand when you get served food and drink on a bus ride that costs 1/6 the price than your home country.

You know you are in Thailand when you see live Karaoke stage outside and major shopping centre and a 13 year old girl is singing and sounds better than Celine Dion.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf tell you you need***lets keep it clean please*** tonight while dancing at the local night club with her school friends.

You know you are in Thailand when you get 70 cable TV channels for free in your appartment building

You know you are in Thailand when you drop your laptop and go to get it repaired with a new hard drive, loading of a new operating system and a bunch of free software for just $60

You know you are in Thailand when you go to a dentist to get a tooth pulled out and pay just $30 with xray and dentist that explains things better in english than a dentist in your own country that charges 10 times as much.

... some good points for a change :o

Edited by sbk
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You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"? :D

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

You joking right?

I experienced that several times....After a couple of times, you go to toilets only when you can not hold any longer ;-)

So wait, this is for real? i havent been here that long...but really???? Soem guy comes and massages you?...while you are peeing? what about when you are doing a number 2? :o

I told you it wasn't as common as it used to be. Haven't seen it anywhere for at least 5 years.

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You know you are in Thailand when you get your washing done by the appartment cleaner for just 50 baht ($2)

You know you are in Thailand when your girl friend correctly points out that a mini mart does not sell "food" (real food)

You know you are in Thailand when you you only get chraged $10 for a major traffic infringment and the policman politely explains that the ticket he gives you is a daily pass to keep violating that law... and he doesn't take a quarter of your license points away :D

You know you are in Thailand when you get a great value meal for less than a quarter of the price we get ripped off in the west.

You know you are in Thailand when you can ride to the corner store without a helmet and know you wont get busted with a $200 fine for not wearing a helmet.

You know you are in Thailand when you are living in a brand new appartment with air con, free internet fully furnished for $160 a month

You know you are in Thailand when you work into a shopping mall and feel you can afford everything.

You know you are in Thailand when your sexy gf picks you up from the bus station on her motorbike in her high healed sandels with her hair flowing in the wind. And she's done up to the hilt.

You know you are in Thailand when you only need to pay $30 a night for a really nice hotel room with drinks in the fridge and $3 dollar room service meals

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts.

You know you are in Thailand when you get served food and drink on a bus ride that costs 1/6 the price than your home country.

You know you are in Thailand when you see live Karaoke stage outside and major shopping centre and a 13 year old girl is singing and sounds better than Celine Dion.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf tell you you need***lets keep it clean please*** tonight while dancing at the local night club with her school friends.

You know you are in Thailand when you get 70 cable TV channels for free in your appartment building

You know you are in Thailand when you drop your laptop and go to get it repaired with a new hard drive, loading of a new operating system and a bunch of free software for just $60

You know you are in Thailand when you go to a dentist to get a tooth pulled out and pay just $30 with xray and dentist that explains things better in english than a dentist in your own country that charges 10 times as much.

... some good points for a change :o

You know you are in Thailand when some paodophile posts a post that he dates a School Girl and 5 of her school girl mates come home at lunch time and get into bed for 1 1/2 hours.

You know you are in Thailand when the Thai Visa forum moderator completely ignores that part of the post and removes some other words of a sexual nature!!

<deleted> !!???

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You know you are in Thailand when some paodophile posts a post that he dates a School Girl and 5 of her school girl mates come home at lunch time and get into bed for 1 1/2 hours.

You know you are in Thailand when the Thai Visa forum moderator completely ignores that part of the post and removes some other words of a sexual nature!!

<deleted> !!???

You know your in Thailand when posters start accusing people of being things and it is very apparant that the poster cant read English properly.. :o

As to the other comment..RE mods.....5,4,3,1,......closed

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