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Can A Farang Woman Find Romance/love In Bkk?


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Posted
Something I have talk with many girly friends. Last one an Argentinean girl, very well educated, pretty as hel_l, young and saying she was down because was so dam_n hard to find a bf here.. Uhmmm. When I was single I didn't have problem, but I hear that is a problem for many. What I agree and know is that unluckily here there is more disgusting guys around. Or maybe they show it more than in other places... :o

I'm in a long time relationship, I didn't just find him here tho. Happy about that :D

I think your, pretty, well educated, Argentinean girl, may well be looking for the type of guy that may be a bit thin on the ground in BKK.......pure guestimate as I don't live there......find a boyfriend anywhere should not be a problem......find a suitable boyfriend that meets all your preconceived ideals and expectations........well....a different matter....yes???

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Posted
Something I have talk with many girly friends. Last one an Argentinean girl, very well educated, pretty as hel_l, young and saying she was down because was so dam_n hard to find a bf here.. Uhmmm. When I was single I didn't have problem, but I hear that is a problem for many. What I agree and know is that unluckily here there is more disgusting guys around. Or maybe they show it more than in other places... :o

I'm in a long time relationship, I didn't just find him here tho. Happy about that :D

I know comments like that wont go down well, but I have to say I get the gist of what you mean. Im not particularly agreeing with the disgusting part though! I havent spent much time in Bangkok and I dont go out at night (nor much here in Chiang Mai either) but western guys who have shown interest in me are often not the kind of men I would generally be interested in dating-wise, even if some of them seem pleasant enough. Some of the guys have been good looking and interesting, but these guys have often turned out to be travelling and looking for someone to spend time with or travel with and get to know. Even when I was single, i just wasnt looking for that. Maybe some would say my standards are too high, but I dont think so. I like a man to have a certain amount of qualities that attract me to him, and if I dont feel that vibe, i would rather bide my time and remain single. I havent dropped those standard of qualities just because im in a country where a lot of the western men have interest in Asian ladies. There are a lot of interesting, well-mannered, attractive and successful men in relationships with similar standing Thai women. But, at the same turn, there really are a lot of western men here that really are not the type of men I would be ever be interested in or even want to spend time with..so im quite glad if they are not interested in me either.

Also, in Bangkok, ive been asked at times if im Russian, which, ive been told, is just a euphemism anyway.

Anyway, I think in most major cities it can often be a challenge to meet and/or maintain a good relationship, but in a city where a man may be attracted to a different race of women, well...im sure that is even tougher. That is, of course, if the western woman is actually looking for another westerner. Many western women are open to meeting all races and cultures, and in that case, will often find a lot of men who consider them physically exotic in comparison to the woman around them, and nterested in getting to know them.

Posted
Something I have talk with many girly friends. Last one an Argentinean girl, very well educated, pretty as hel_l, young and saying she was down because was so dam_n hard to find a bf here.. Uhmmm. When I was single I didn't have problem, but I hear that is a problem for many. What I agree and know is that unluckily here there is more disgusting guys around. Or maybe they show it more than in other places... :o

I'm in a long time relationship, I didn't just find him here tho. Happy about that :D

I think your, pretty, well educated, Argentinean girl, may well be looking for the type of guy that may be a bit thin on the ground in BKK.......pure guestimate as I don't live there......find a boyfriend anywhere should not be a problem......find a suitable boyfriend that meets all your preconceived ideals and expectations........well....a different matter....yes???

I imagine that may be the case too. At the same time i think if we dont hold onto some level of standard that we expect in a partner, the long-term prospect (if thats is what you are looking for), might be a bit grim. Adapt and adjust for sure, but if you through standards out of the window, sounds like a recipe for disaster to me, even before you start.

Posted
Can a farang/ Western woman find a loving, reciprocating relationship in Bangkok? Recently someone was suggesting that BKK/Thailand is "all about men." Women from "the West" are undoubtdely not even noticed and their changes of finding a romantic heterosexual relationship in BKK is slim to none. Unfortunately I had to agree. I'm hoping that your experience/suggestions might help women from the West.

Cheers and thank you in advance for your mature and appropriate comments/suggestions,

Keoki

Probably not if you have to ask an internet forum........

Posted
Can a farang/ Western woman find a loving, reciprocating relationship in Bangkok? Recently someone was suggesting that BKK/Thailand is "all about men." Women from "the West" are undoubtdely not even noticed and their changes of finding a romantic heterosexual relationship in BKK is slim to none. Unfortunately I had to agree. I'm hoping that your experience/suggestions might help women from the West.

Cheers and thank you in advance for your mature and appropriate comments/suggestions,

Keoki

Personally, I think the problem with relationships in Thailand is that the country is so transient. After living here for a while one becomes cynical regarding friendships as a whole as possible friends are constantly coming and going and I'm sure that applies to potential romantic relationships. One can become quite apathetic towards friendship in ther knowledge that in the not too distant future, friends will be gone,. This certainly is is not a healthy environment for nurturing romance. Maybe this is slightly off thread regarding 'all about men theme' however I'm sure the above is complimenary to the Op's question.

regards

Bojo

Posted

If you love someone you will be happy and long lasting time together, if you are in Bangkok, Samui, U.K. Mexico does not matter when two people care and respect eachother. Speak and do somethings together, like listen to music, play tennis or watch a movie.

Posted

GirlX was right and if you don't agree you are naive to what is really going on out there. If you had a 5 year monogamous relationship in Bangkok (truly) then good for you but you are a freak of nature. This city is just non stop playing around from both sexes, and most of them have boyfriends/girlfriends or even husbands and wives. I never saw anything like this back home. Weve got married moms sleeping with their childrens teachers, we've got girlfriends getting numbers from other guys when their boyfriend goes to the can, we've got guys with a different girlfriend for every night of the week.... man I've seen so much cheating here it boggles my mind. Nothing at all like boring old Canada.

Posted
GirlX was right and if you don't agree you are naive to what is really going on out there. If you had a 5 year monogamous relationship in Bangkok (truly) then good for you but you are a freak of nature. This city is just non stop playing around from both sexes, and most of them have boyfriends/girlfriends or even husbands and wives. I never saw anything like this back home. Weve got married moms sleeping with their childrens teachers, we've got girlfriends getting numbers from other guys when their boyfriend goes to the can, we've got guys with a different girlfriend for every night of the week.... man I've seen so much cheating here it boggles my mind. Nothing at all like boring old Canada.

Maybe with the people you know. I guess I hang around a different crowd.

Posted
i don't recommend anyone, male or female, try to have a serious relationship in bangkok.

but that's my opinion.

Is that why you arrange night outs and DON'T turn up :D If you DON'T turn up ow can you have a serious relationship ?

BT

The easy post, is to attack another posters comments/spelling etc........not provide a well defined supported opinion regarding the actual topic...in order to respect the opinion of another you really require one of your own!!.......many aggresssively disgree with posts without being able to provide an alternative balanced point of view :o Lack of knowledge perhaps??

To the OP ....I would have thought BKK is no different from other major cities......you must build a network involving people you wish to meet......the next step is the relationship. Same for western or any other women.....isn't it?

I agree with you that you must meet and converse with those you like BUT this poster does seem to have a problem with TV members as she arranged a meeting and ........ you guessed it DID NOT TURN UP ???

So how can she make that statement that she made as she does not TRY ????

Only an observation I do not know her at all.

BT

Posted (edited)
i don't recommend anyone, male or female, try to have a serious relationship in bangkok.

but that's my opinion.

Is that why you arrange night outs and DON'T turn up :D If you DON'T turn up ow can you have a serious relationship ?

BT

The easy post, is to attack another posters comments/spelling etc........not provide a well defined supported opinion regarding the actual topic...in order to respect the opinion of another you really require one of your own!!.......many aggresssively disgree with posts without being able to provide an alternative balanced point of view :o Lack of knowledge perhaps??

To the OP ....I would have thought BKK is no different from other major cities......you must build a network involving people you wish to meet......the next step is the relationship. Same for western or any other women.....isn't it?

I agree with you that you must meet and converse with those you like BUT this poster does seem to have a problem with TV members as she arranged a meeting and ........ you guessed it DID NOT TURN UP ???

So how can she make that statement that she made as she does not TRY ????

Only an observation I do not know her at all.

BT

I think she has stated in a reply above....after turning up a couple of times she decided there was 'no relationship material there'

her choice....maybe she went somewhere else to widen her network?

Edited by 473geo
Posted
i don't recommend anyone, male or female, try to have a serious relationship in bangkok.

but that's my opinion.

Is that why you arrange night outs and DON'T turn up :o If you DON'T turn up ow can you have a serious relationship ?

BT

I agree with you that you must meet and converse with those you like BUT this poster does seem to have a problem with TV members as she arranged a meeting and ........ you guessed it DID NOT TURN UP ???

So how can she make that statement that she made as she does not TRY ????

Only an observation I do not know her at all.

BT

I think she has stated in a reply above....after turning up a couple of times she decided there was 'no relationship material there'

her choice....maybe she went somewhere else to widen her network?

Maybe she did BUT can you post that thread or repeat it here as I have not seen it, thanks

Again I do not know her and have not met her BUT when you look through her posts SHE wants lots of info from TV Members... BUT does NOT like them ?? Strange I think..

BT

BT

Posted
GirlX was right and if you don't agree you are naive to what is really going on out there. If you had a 5 year monogamous relationship in Bangkok (truly) then good for you but you are a freak of nature. This city is just non stop playing around from both sexes, and most of them have boyfriends/girlfriends or even husbands and wives. I never saw anything like this back home. Weve got married moms sleeping with their childrens teachers, we've got girlfriends getting numbers from other guys when their boyfriend goes to the can, we've got guys with a different girlfriend for every night of the week.... man I've seen so much cheating here it boggles my mind. Nothing at all like boring old Canada.

Maybe with the people you know. I guess I hang around a different crowd.

Of course we hang in different crowds, you are 30 years older than me. Sorry but I think my crowd is the one that better reflects the Bangkok situation.... I'm sure I'll see a more laid back side when I'm older too. Not being a smartass, just think its common sense.

Posted (edited)
QUOTE (girlx @ 2009-03-29 13:21:32) *

i don't recommend anyone, male or female, try to have a serious relationship in bangkok.

but that's my opinion.

lol, are you for real? laugh.gif Or you just having a bad day rolleyes.gif

actually that is something i hear parroted over and over by people in bangkok and i tend to agree with it. people are here for the most part to play around. not necessarily as sex tourists but in general. it is very easy for people of both sexes to hook up, so if one match isn't perfect, they drop it and move on to the next.

Is that why you arrange night outs and DON'T turn up huh.gif If you DON'T turn up ow can you have a serious relationship ?

BT

laugh.gif she is NEVER going to live that one down, is she? Perhaps she wasn't looking for a serious relationship, did that ever cross your mind?

ha, i did turn up to several meet ups. and there was no long term relationship material there either, not that i was really looking for one.

SO are you a Sex Tourist???

heh?

Here it is BT

Quote from this thread..... :o

Edited by 473geo
Posted

Could members please try and take a little care with the quote and multi quote functions. There appears to be quotes in this topic attributed to different members, and it is a headache trying to determine who said what.

Thanx.

Posted

Ofcourse any sex can come here and find a relationship here, its probably a better chance of it being a good one then compared to looking for one in the west, especially when looking at the stats.

You also increase your chances by not looking for a long term relationship in the red light or touristy places.

I know some people who do find sucess in these places but you just have to be careful, many foreigners come here too egar to be in a relationship and just jump into the first one that comes along with full steam, thats a receipe for disaster. I mean they wouldnt do it in there home countries.

I think looking for a long term relationship here in Thailand is very good here, especially if you stick to around your age. Wide age differenece groups do suceed too, but will have a bumpy road as usually your not really both on the same page, but I have seen some great relationships.

The people who say no you cant have a relationship with a Thai person has usually been burned before or just had a run of bad luck with relationships here. Can't blame them for thinking that as most people would think the same by getting burned all the time.

So in conclusion, I think Thailand is probably better then the west when it comes to finding a relationship. Thats my opinion

Posted

Anyone can find a long-term partner anywhere in the world.  It just depends on you, what you want, where you go, and how you act.

Yes, I understand women who say there are alot of "disgusting types" running around here. But there are also the same types in New York, London, Dusseldorf, Oslo, Toronto---you get the picture.  But the question is whether a farang woman can find love here, not if most of the men here would be considered a good catch.  All you need is one, and I dare say that there are many, many decent men here who would welcome a chance at a real romance with a fellow-farang. (To say nothing of decent Thai men who would welcome the same).

In some ways, I would say a farang woman here has a better chance than back home, wherever that is. Here, a single farang woman is a rareity.  And with more male expats in Thailand than female, that skews the ratio in favor of women.  So finding a nice, "decent" farang women is far ahrder to find that a nice, "decent" farang man.  It is a buyer's market for women here.

Girlx, not to single you out, but you are the only single farang woman I have met from TV.  You are a very attractive woman with an engaging smile and personality.  I have to believe that you get all the attention you can handle. With all that attention, all you have to do is sift through the chaff.  If you are not finding what you want, then I am not sure it would be different elsewhere.  I have to stress that I am not picking on you or criticizing you.  Be picky in finding a guy.  You deserve to be picky (we all do).  I am just pointing out that you do get attention, just evidently not from anyone you fancy.

Finding love can happen anywhere.  I certainly am not an expert on long-lasting love, but I have seen it happpen to others.  So I believe there is hope for everyone.

Posted (edited)
Girlx, not to single you out, but you are the only single farang woman I have met from TV. You are a very attractive woman with an engaging smile and personality. I have to believe that you get all the attention you can handle. With all that attention, all you have to do is sift through the chaff. If you are not finding what you want, then I am not sure it would be different elsewhere. I have to stress that I am not picking on you or criticizing you. Be picky in finding a guy. You deserve to be picky (we all do). I am just pointing out that you do get attention, just evidently not from anyone you fancy.

thanks for the compliments (i think!), i didn't realize we've met!

and you might be right, there are some guys out there, but i have met very few i am interested in in thailand, as opposed to NY where there are guys who blow my mind every other block :o the simple fact is, thailand does not attract the best types.

i am sure some people find good, long term relationships here- in fact i even know a couple who have. but they are exceptions to the majority rule in my experience. it's just the way it is here- bangkok is candyland. everyone seems to be casual about things here. not saying that's wrong!

i for one will also just play around here until someone i really like comes along, but i know i am much more likely to meet someone travelling elsewhere. and i am cool with that, since i am a traveller anyway!

PS bigtoe are you STILL offended about that one stupid meet up at gulliver's 8 months ago or so??? sheesh

Edited by girlx
Posted

PS bigtoe are you STILL offended about that one stupid meet up at gulliver's 8 months ago or so??? sheesh

No I am not offended by the fact that you started a thread for a meet and did NOT turn up :D up to you

Maybe a little confused with your posts though ? :D

You want lots of info from TV members but DON'T want to meet them and think we are ?????? I don't know.... but T I T.

I personnally think that a Farang Womam OR man can Find "Genuine" Romance in BKK IF THEY ARE HONEST > :o

BT :D

Posted
Girlx, not to single you out, but you are the only single farang woman I have met from TV. You are a very attractive woman with an engaging smile and personality. I have to believe that you get all the attention you can handle. With all that attention, all you have to do is sift through the chaff. If you are not finding what you want, then I am not sure it would be different elsewhere. I have to stress that I am not picking on you or criticizing you. Be picky in finding a guy. You deserve to be picky (we all do). I am just pointing out that you do get attention, just evidently not from anyone you fancy.

thanks for the compliments (i think!), i didn't realize we've met!

and you might be right, there are some guys out there, but i have met very few i am interested in in thailand, as opposed to NY where there are guys who blow my mind every other block :o the simple fact is, thailand does not attract the best types.

i am sure some people find good, long term relationships here- in fact i even know a couple who have. but they are exceptions to the majority rule in my experience. it's just the way it is here- bangkok is candyland. everyone seems to be casual about things here. not saying that's wrong!

i for one will also just play around here until someone i really like comes along, but i know i am much more likely to meet someone travelling elsewhere. and i am cool with that, since i am a traveller anyway!

PS bigtoe are you STILL offended about that one stupid meet up at gulliver's 8 months ago or so??? sheesh

My post wasn't intended to stroke your ego, but yes, it should be taken as complimentary as an aside to my main point that love is possible.  There is certainly potential for love, even here in BKK. I would think that your own expectations aside, you personally would have a fairly decent chance to find potential matches.  There are some people, and I am not criticizing here, who come here but have very low interpersonal skills and can't get out and mingle, so a woman in this situation would have a much harder time making a good connection.

----------

We met at one of the meet-ups and talked for a short while (I wanted to meet you after a series of posts we had on  thread about monogamy), and if I were 15 or 20 years younger, I might have gone with you and some others with you to a post-meet-up meet-up, but so be it.  :D  

Posted (edited)
You want lots of info from TV members but DON'T want to meet them and think we are ?????? I don't know.... but T I T.

what info do i want? and did you miss the part where i said i went to lots of meet ups???

There are some people, and I am not criticizing here, who come here but have very low interpersonal skills and can't get out and mingle, so a woman in this situation would have a much harder time making a good connection.

that's not me... i have mingled... just haven't found anyone i liked for a relationship. like i said, it's quite different in places like NY. but you guys not being women might find it hard to understand how unappealing the majority of the men who come to thailand are. not all of them, but a lot of them.

Edited by girlx
Posted
You want lots of info from TV members but DON'T want to meet them and think we are ?????? I don't know.... but T I T.

what info do i want? and did you miss the part where i said i went to lots of meet ups???

There are some people, and I am not criticizing here, who come here but have very low interpersonal skills and can't get out and mingle, so a woman in this situation would have a much harder time making a good connection.

that's not me... i have mingled... just haven't found anyone i liked for a relationship. like i said, it's quite different in places like NY. but you guys not being women might find it hard to understand how unappealing the majority of the men who come to thailand are. not all of them, but a lot of them.

And I guess it is hard for some of us to accept that quite possibly, we may not all be Brad Pitt's second coming.  Especially as some Thai women find us "very hansom man!"   :o

Posted
Girlx, not to single you out, but you are the only single farang woman I have met from TV. You are a very attractive woman with an engaging smile and personality. I have to believe that you get all the attention you can handle. With all that attention, all you have to do is sift through the chaff. If you are not finding what you want, then I am not sure it would be different elsewhere. I have to stress that I am not picking on you or criticizing you. Be picky in finding a guy. You deserve to be picky (we all do). I am just pointing out that you do get attention, just evidently not from anyone you fancy.

thanks for the compliments (i think!), i didn't realize we've met!

Well, I have met you and I can +1 on that! :o I would agree. I do think that you do attract alot of attention, but you may not notice it or it may not be the ones you want. :D But hey, you're a girl with standards. It's not like you're old and desperate, so you can pick and choose if you know what I am saying. Sorry to hear you are down on relationships right now, but I think it will pass.

Posted (edited)

yeah- it doesn't matter what i think, i am not sure i represent the majority of farang women anyway- if i did i would have married the first nice guy i met and be shacked up in some suburb with a bunch of kids by now. a relationship is not the point of my existence, i prefer to be single and free and meet lots of different people. any guy who tied me down would have to be something pretty special, and i don't mean just in the looks department. so- while there are probably lots of nice, decent looking men hiding somewhere in BKK, they most likely aren't going to pique my interest anyway. i do my thing and someday if someone falls into step beside me, cool. my farang female friends are not necessarily of the same opinion.

to elaborate on the NY vs. BKK thing... NY is a city that attracts the best of the best people. people with talent and ambition are attracted to that city. people with big ideas, who don't tend to only live up to the status quo. and a lot of them take very good care of themselves and their presentation as well. BKK is a city that attracts a lot of sex tourists (anyone disagree with that?), and there is not much here to attract ambitious or talented people- they go to places like hong kong and japan. so the majority of guys that i meet here are either sex tourists masquerading as english teachers, models and actors of little substance who talk about how much ass they can get, shaven-headed lager louts who spend most of their time at the pub, nice older family men with their families, students (who are usually quite young), backpackers who are passing through, and nice guys who love this country and just hang around as long as they can (most of whom are better friendship material). none of the above would be ideal for a long term relationship for most girls. and most of the above are not looking for one anyway, there is an endless supply of people to play around with here. sure, there are other decent prospects around perhaps, and it all comes down to your individual connection with someone you meet. but pickings are slim here overall.

(p.s. submaniac, silly, you always misread me... i am not down on relationships! in fact i am having a very fun one at the moment!)

Edited by girlx
Posted
yeah- it doesn't matter what i think, i am not sure i represent the majority of farang women anyway- if i did i would have married the first nice guy i met and be shacked up in some suburb with a bunch of kids by now. a relationship is not the point of my existence, i prefer to be single and free and meet lots of different people. any guy who tied me down would have to be something pretty special, and i don't mean just in the looks department. so- while there are probably lots of nice, decent looking men hiding somewhere in BKK, they most likely aren't going to pique my interest anyway. i do my thing and someday if someone falls into step beside me, cool. my farang female friends are not necessarily of the same opinion.

to elaborate on the NY vs. BKK thing... NY is a city that attracts the best of the best people. people with talent and ambition are attracted to that city. people with big ideas, who don't tend to only live up to the status quo. and a lot of them take very good care of themselves and their presentation as well. BKK is a city that attracts a lot of sex tourists (anyone disagree with that?), and there is not much here to attract ambitious or talented people- they go to places like hong kong and japan. so the majority of guys that i meet here are either sex tourists masquerading as english teachers, models and actors of little substance who talk about how much ass they can get, shaven-headed lager louts who spend most of their time at the pub, nice older family men with their families, students (who are usually quite young), backpackers who are passing through, and nice guys who love this country and just hang around as long as they can (most of whom are better friendship material). none of the above would be ideal for a long term relationship for most girls. and most of the above are not looking for one anyway, there is an endless supply of people to play around with here. sure, there are other decent prospects around perhaps, and it all comes down to your individual connection with someone you meet. but pickings are slim here overall.

(p.s. submaniac, silly, you always misread me... i am not down on relationships! in fact i am having a very fun one at the moment!)

After reading this and sort of understanding the way you live your life makes your first post more understandable.

Posted
I would guess most straight men in Thailand would be open to meeting and engaging in relationships with Western Women, but several factors inhibit this from happening.

A) A lot of Western Women in Thailand are not attractive to the men here. I don't know the specific reasons why, but it is something that most men will agree with; most of the time a man sees a western women in thailand that does not currently have a family/husband, or is not a eastern euro model, she is not attractive to him. And vice versa.

B ) The Unapproachability issue. Many men in Bangkok won't initiate a conversation with a WW because of several reason and the WW won't because of some as well. 1) He often assumes an "obviously" straight western woman has a family/husband here 2) if she isn't "obviously" straight, his lesbian paranoia kicks in and he reasons that she may be lesbian. 3) His guilt about being a male in Bangkok (even if it is for good intentions) transforms the WW in his head as a motherly scolding figure which is not attractive 4) She may not initiate because she feels unattractive, or too chubby compared to the Thai girls 5) She assumes he has a girlfriend/wife already 6) he is too unattractive 7) she thinks he's a sexpat bastard

C) Paranoia about cheating. She may wonder if he really goes to Health Land like he says. He may wonder if her tennis coach is really gay like she swears he is.

D) "So..how long you plan on being in Thailand?" Tough having a relationship with a time-frame.

E) baggage. There are some crazy bastards here (male and female) with backgrounds that would make you question your safety

funny you should mention baggage, i became convinced you yourself were pretty heavily laden by the time i got through B.

Posted (edited)

GIRLX

Think you will be having posts off teachers next lol

sex tourists masquerading as english teachers.

VERY FUNNY

Is that true as i dont hang about with male teachers only a female one,but they do sound a bit pervie lol.

Edited by patklang
Posted
Girlx, not to single you out, but you are the only single farang woman I have met from TV. You are a very attractive woman with an engaging smile and personality. I have to believe that you get all the attention you can handle. With all that attention, all you have to do is sift through the chaff. If you are not finding what you want, then I am not sure it would be different elsewhere. I have to stress that I am not picking on you or criticizing you. Be picky in finding a guy. You deserve to be picky (we all do). I am just pointing out that you do get attention, just evidently not from anyone you fancy.

thanks for the compliments (i think!), i didn't realize we've met!

Well, I have met you and I can +1 on that! :o I would agree. I do think that you do attract alot of attention, but you may not notice it or it may not be the ones you want. :D But hey, you're a girl with standards. It's not like you're old and desperate, so you can pick and choose if you know what I am saying. Sorry to hear you are down on relationships right now, but I think it will pass.

everyone stand back while Mr Smooth chats up Girlx . :D

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