The Game Of Romance...

[Jai Dee]

THE GAME OF ROMANCE...

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

Remember:

You do NOT get points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game of romance is played.

The following is the official guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed: +1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows: 0

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets: -1

You leave the toilet seat up: -5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty: 0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex: -1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom: -2

You go out to buy her extra-light panty-liners with wings: +5

At night: +8

In the rain/snow: +10

But return with beer: -5

And no liners: -25

You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing: +1

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something: +5

You pummel it with a six iron: +10

It's her cat: -40

AT A PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party: 0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy: -2

Named Tiffany: -4

Tiffany is a dancer: -10

With breast implants: -18

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday: 0

You buy a card and flowers: 0

You take her out to dinner: 0

You take her out to dinner and it's NOT a sports bar: +1

Okay, it is a sports bar: -2

And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3

It's a sports bar, it's "all-you-can-eat & $1 pitcher" night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH A FRIEND

Go with a friend: 0

He is happily married: +1

You go to your church's BINGO night: +15

You go to the O'Club: -25

The friend is single: -7

She drives a cherry-red Ferrari: -25

With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED): -50

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie: +2

You take her to a movie she likes: +4

You take her to a movie you hate: +6

You take her to a movie you like: -2

It's called "BIT 7": -3

Which features cyborgs that eat humans: -9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans: -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly: -15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it: +10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy

Hawaiian shirts: -30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.": -800

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" And you...

Hesitate in responding: -10

Reply, "Where?": -35

Reply, "No, I think it's just your butt": -100

Any other response: -20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem you

listen, displaying a concerned expression: 0

You listen, for over 30 minutes: +5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience: +50

Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, "Well, what

do you think I should do?": -50

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV: +100

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep: -20

VACATIONING

You plan to take her to Samui for a long weekend vacation: +50

It's the same weekend your old squadron's reunion is being held: -100

(And don't even think of the points lost if you spend more on beer than she does shopping!!!)

[dr_Pat_Pong]

THE GAME OF ROMANCE...

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:  Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

Remember:

You do  NOT get points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game of romance is played.

The following is the official guide  to the points  system:

SIMPLE  DUTIES

You make the bed: +1

You  make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows: 0

You throw  the bedspread over rumpled sheets:  -1

You  leave the toilet seat up: -5

You replace the toilet paper roll when  it is empty: 0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to  Kleenex: -1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom:  -2

You  go out to buy her extra-light panty-liners with wings: +5

At night:  +8

In the rain/snow: +10

But return with beer:  -5

And no liners:  -25

You  check out a suspicious noise at night: 0

You check out a suspicious  noise and it is nothing: +1

You check out a suspicious noise and it  is something: +5

You pummel it with a six iron: +10

It's  her cat:  -40

AT  A PARTY

You stay by her side the entire  party: 0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a  college drinking buddy: -2

Named Tiffany:  -4

Tiffany is a dancer: -10

With breast implants:  -18

HER  BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday:  0

You buy a card and flowers: 0

You take her out to  dinner: 0

You take her out to dinner and it's NOT a sports bar:  +1

Okay, it is a sports bar: -2

And it's all-you-can-eat  night: -3

It's a sports bar, it's "all-you-can-eat & $1 pitcher" night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team:  -10

A  NIGHT OUT WITH A FRIEND

Go with a friend: 0

He is happily  married: +1

You go to your church's BINGO night: +15

You  go to the O'Club: -25

The friend is single: -7

She drives  a cherry-red Ferrari: -25

With a personalized license plate (GR8  NBED):  -50

A  NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie:  +2

You take her to a movie she likes: +4

You take her to a  movie you hate: +6

You take her to a movie you like:  -2

It's called "BIT 7": -3

Which features cyborgs that eat  humans: -9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans:  -15

YOUR  PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly:  -15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of  it: +10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans  and baggy

Hawaiian shirts: -30

You say, "It doesn't  matter, you have one too.":  -800

THE  BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make  me look fat?" And you...

Hesitate in responding:  -10

Reply, "Where?": -35

Reply, "No, I think it's just  your butt": -100

Any other response:  -20

COMMUNICATION

When  she wants to talk about a problem you

listen, displaying a concerned expression: 0

You listen, for over 30 minutes:  +5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience:  +50

Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying,  "Well, what

do you think I should do?": -50

You listen  for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV: +100

She realizes  this is because you have fallen asleep:  -20

VACATIONING

You plan to take her to Samui for a long weekend vacation:  +50

It's the same weekend your old squadron's reunion is being held: -100

(And don't even think of the points lost if you spend more on beer than she does shopping!!!)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

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