Someone Please Explain The Dating/boyfriend/girlfriend For Thailand

[1960apache]

I am not sure if this is the right post and I am sure there is no specific answer, but it is worth a try!

I am assuming in most cultures other than Thailand, the dating is about the same? Boy meets girl, ask's girl on a date, they go have fun, split the bill or the guy pays, and they do it again and again until they see if they are compatible right?

Which leads me to trying to figure out Thai girls/women. I am out and about and have no trouble meeting 2-5 girls a day, get their phone numbers, try to meet out at a restaurant, since I don't go pick them up with my car like "WE" do. This is where it goes about a thousand different directions with the Thai girls! The main problem is, whatever their agenda is, they just assume since I have lived in Thailand for awhile, I am able to "guess" their specific agenda out of a thousand different directions, but, they are all under the belief that "All" other girls have the same exact agenda! If you can understand what I am saying.

So that is where the fun begins. Some show up with another family member, girlfriend etc, that seem to nose their way into the date, and want to order everything on the menu and only eat 1/4 of it. So what should have been a $500baht date, is now $2500baht, plus the, "no more bus, need pay for taxi" from the uninvited party! Right, she just went to the bottom of my list, but it is not her fault, or is it? Or, the girl comes alone, we have an OK, time, no talk about exclusivity, future plans, dating etc, no response good or bad, and then I don't see them because I get the SMS, "I busy now, take care" Huh? What the heck is that all about! So I leave them alone, then a week later get the "Why you dont call me, why you dont take care me" and 100 other responses that are similar.

But, I am finding a bit of a pattern, in that many of them just assume since you went on a date, that you are now boyfriend/girlfriend and are willing to "Take care lady", which is not specific to anyone but "That" particular girl!

I guess what I am looking for, what is really the norm for Thailand, because I have heard, seen and had a hundred different outcomes and request, from "must meet family" to "see you next time"

What I am trying to figure out is, maybe how many dates? What does "Take care lady" mean to them, because I have no clue and they are too shy to tell me which of the 1000 different directions it should go? Are some actually expecting me to support them, marry them, meet the family after 1-3 dates??

Like I say, I am kind of looking for a solution to know what I am getting into, and what is the reasonable norm? Or should I just become a monk now and get it over with???

[Lozfranco]

If you dont bang them on your first date they automatically think you are a homo.

It would seem that this is where you are going wrong

[1960apache]

If you dont bang them on your first date they automatically think you are a homo.

It would seem that this is where you are going wrong

Not to be a wise guy, we are not talking about bar girls here!

But "Those" are the ones I have the most trouble with (not on the first date obviously) And on top of it, now I have to wonder if they do this with everyone they meet?

So you tell me YOU bang nice Thai girls the first night you meet them? Skanks maybe, but not decent Thai girls! And come on, at least respond with something intelligent next time!

[ernest1966]

First date with wife was accompanied by sister, who paid half the bill. Second date as well, same thing. Third date, was left alone! After about 3 weeks my holiday in Thailand was nearing its end, said to the now wife, you want to come on holiday with me. Ok... Visa etc, had to photocopy passport, my residence visa (for turkey) etc.

[Lozfranco]

If you dont bang them on your first date they automatically think you are a homo.

It would seem that this is where you are going wrong

Not to be a wise guy, we are not talking about bar girls here!

But "Those" are the ones I have the most trouble with (not on the first date obviously) And on top of it, now I have to wonder if they do this with everyone they meet?

So you tell me YOU bang nice Thai girls the first night you meet them? Skanks maybe, but not decent Thai girls! And come on, at least respond with something intelligent next time!

Something intelligent? You started it.

BTW I was not talking BGs

[1960apache]

Lozfranco, go troll another forum!

[highlander76]

When I started dating wife a friend or her boss would join us on dates I would always pay

[dave9988]

"$500baht date, is now $2500baht"

2500 baht dollars?

that's a lot of lettuce.

[lannarebirth]

But, I am finding a bit of a pattern, in that many of them just assume since you went on a date, that you are now boyfriend/girlfriend and are willing to "Take care lady", which is not specific to anyone but "That" particular girl!

I guess what I am looking for, what is really the norm for Thailand, because I have heard, seen and had a hundred different outcomes and request, from "must meet family" to "see you next time"

What I am trying to figure out is, maybe how many dates? What does "Take care lady" mean to them, because I have no clue and they are too shy to tell me which of the 1000 different directions it should go? Are some actually expecting me to support them, marry them, meet the family after 1-3 dates??

Like I say, I am kind of looking for a solution to know what I am getting into, and what is the reasonable norm? Or should I just become a monk now and get it over with???

Finally an easy question I can field. the definitive answer to the highlighted text is "up to you".

[endure]

But, I am finding a bit of a pattern, in that many of them just assume since you went on a date, that you are now boyfriend/girlfriend and are willing to "Take care lady", which is not specific to anyone but "That" particular girl!

I guess what I am looking for, what is really the norm for Thailand, because I have heard, seen and had a hundred different outcomes and request, from "must meet family" to "see you next time"

What I am trying to figure out is, maybe how many dates? What does "Take care lady" mean to them, because I have no clue and they are too shy to tell me which of the 1000 different directions it should go? Are some actually expecting me to support them, marry them, meet the family after 1-3 dates??

Like I say, I am kind of looking for a solution to know what I am getting into, and what is the reasonable norm? Or should I just become a monk now and get it over with???

Finally an easy question I can field. the definitive answer to the highlighted text is "up to you".

[MSingh]

Not to be a wise guy, we are not talking about bar girls here!

Could have fooled me..

[MSingh]

First date with wife was accompanied by sister, who paid half the bill. Second date as well, same thing. Third date, was left alone! After about 3 weeks my holiday in Thailand was nearing its end, said to the now wife, you want to come on holiday with me. Ok... Visa etc, had to photocopy passport, my residence visa (for turkey) etc.

After only 3 weeks Ernest you decided to get someone you didn't know a Visa to go Home with you & you're actually still with her as you called her the " now Wife " ??

Wow, you were silly/desperate for doing that in my opinion ( 3 weeks ?? ), but it seems you're really lucky with it so i wish you all the best Ernest, there's thousands out there who aren't as lucky as you, as you can read on this Forum it seems on an almost daily basis....

[Sabum]

I am not sure if this is the right post and I am sure there is no specific answer, but it is worth a try!

I am assuming in most cultures other than Thailand, the dating is about the same? Boy meets girl, ask's girl on a date, they go have fun, split the bill or the guy pays, and they do it again and again until they see if they are compatible right?

Which leads me to trying to figure out Thai girls/women. I am out and about and have no trouble meeting 2-5 girls a day, get their phone numbers, try to meet out at a restaurant, since I don't go pick them up with my car like "WE" do. This is where it goes about a thousand different directions with the Thai girls! The main problem is, whatever their agenda is, they just assume since I have lived in Thailand for awhile, I am able to "guess" their specific agenda out of a thousand different directions, but, they are all under the belief that "All" other girls have the same exact agenda! If you can understand what I am saying.

So that is where the fun begins. Some show up with another family member, girlfriend etc, that seem to nose their way into the date, and want to order everything on the menu and only eat 1/4 of it. So what should have been a $500baht date, is now $2500baht, plus the, "no more bus, need pay for taxi" from the uninvited party! Right, she just went to the bottom of my list, but it is not her fault, or is it? Or, the girl comes alone, we have an OK, time, no talk about exclusivity, future plans, dating etc, no response good or bad, and then I don't see them because I get the SMS, "I busy now, take care" Huh? What the heck is that all about! So I leave them alone, then a week later get the "Why you dont call me, why you dont take care me" and 100 other responses that are similar.

But, I am finding a bit of a pattern, in that many of them just assume since you went on a date, that you are now boyfriend/girlfriend and are willing to "Take care lady", which is not specific to anyone but "That" particular girl!

I guess what I am looking for, what is really the norm for Thailand, because I have heard, seen and had a hundred different outcomes and request, from "must meet family" to "see you next time"

What I am trying to figure out is, maybe how many dates? What does "Take care lady" mean to them, because I have no clue and they are too shy to tell me which of the 1000 different directions it should go? Are some actually expecting me to support them, marry them, meet the family after 1-3 dates??

Like I say, I am kind of looking for a solution to know what I am getting into, and what is the reasonable norm? Or should I just become a monk now and get it over with???

How old are you? Dont be offended by me asking its just that the reality of an older man and that of a younger man are going to be completely different and the same advice should not be given equally to both parties.

[ernest1966]

MSingh,

The only "problem" I have is the family want to interfere (in the typical thai way) and busybody with the newborn, thats the only gripe with them. They dont ask for money, no strange illnesses, help needed etc, I live with the wife in HER house, her sis gives us lifts , takes us shopping, her mum cooks for the wife, her other sis goes shopping for food for us (to the local cafes for farang style food for me), i just pay a few bills. No sin-sot thingie. Yes shes isaan, so crap education, but hey i cant have everything, her ex hubby was a coke head, so shes happy for someone who doesn't smoke, drinks very little. She's also a good friend, a great cook and bloody gorgeous, no I wasn't desperate, I just fancied her rotten

And I am not living in cloud cuckoo land. If ever I property / land it will be in my babies name - no amount of persuasion. The wife tells me not to be generous to the family or they will get greedy, I give a very small allowance (in western terms) for food to the wife, she looks after it, any spare she banks, I have the bank card details/PINS for her bank and she shows me the book every time. All my money is overseas anyway and I will never move a penny here, I just dont trust the thai economy or the banks. Her mum tells her off if we get in any sort of "discussion", the family is not rich, but they dont ask for any dough. Its upto me if I want to give them any money, I do, but very small amounts and infrequently.

Edited April 21, 2009 by ernest1966

[thaiwanderer]

to the OP best advice would be to man up and take control

on the basis of the limited information you have supplied and the very fact you are asking advice here about this i would suggest they are confused by what may come over as your indecision, willingness to please and crucially 'weakness'

i shall assume you are farang (if not my sincere apologies - what fate is worse?) if so the easiest way for you to understand the best way to act is arrogant inconsiderate aloof overbearing

save downright nasty for later

in time your love will grow and she will defend you to the ends of the earth

[kolasaab]

I am not sure if this is the right post and I am sure there is no specific answer, but it is worth a try!

I am assuming in most cultures other than Thailand, the dating is about the same? Boy meets girl, ask's girl on a date, they go have fun, split the bill or the guy pays, and they do it again and again until they see if they are compatible right?

Which leads me to trying to figure out Thai girls/women. I am out and about and have no trouble meeting 2-5 girls a day, get their phone numbers, try to meet out at a restaurant, since I don't go pick them up with my car like "WE" do. This is where it goes about a thousand different directions with the Thai girls! The main problem is, whatever their agenda is, they just assume since I have lived in Thailand for awhile, I am able to "guess" their specific agenda out of a thousand different directions, but, they are all under the belief that "All" other girls have the same exact agenda! If you can understand what I am saying.

So that is where the fun begins. Some show up with another family member, girlfriend etc, that seem to nose their way into the date, and want to order everything on the menu and only eat 1/4 of it. So what should have been a $500baht date, is now $2500baht, plus the, "no more bus, need pay for taxi" from the uninvited party! Right, she just went to the bottom of my list, but it is not her fault, or is it? Or, the girl comes alone, we have an OK, time, no talk about exclusivity, future plans, dating etc, no response good or bad, and then I don't see them because I get the SMS, "I busy now, take care" Huh? What the heck is that all about! So I leave them alone, then a week later get the "Why you dont call me, why you dont take care me" and 100 other responses that are similar.

But, I am finding a bit of a pattern, in that many of them just assume since you went on a date, that you are now boyfriend/girlfriend and are willing to "Take care lady", which is not specific to anyone but "That" particular girl!

I guess what I am looking for, what is really the norm for Thailand, because I have heard, seen and had a hundred different outcomes and request, from "must meet family" to "see you next time"

What I am trying to figure out is, maybe how many dates? What does "Take care lady" mean to them, because I have no clue and they are too shy to tell me which of the 1000 different directions it should go? Are some actually expecting me to support them, marry them, meet the family after 1-3 dates??

Like I say, I am kind of looking for a solution to know what I am getting into, and what is the reasonable norm? Or should I just become a monk now and get it over with???

take care of lady means MONEY!!! FROM YOU

[thithi]

If you dont bang them on your first date they automatically think you are a homo.

It would seem that this is where you are going wrong

Wrong

we do not expect "banging" on the first date not even kissing or holding hand unless those you date with are bgs

It's not gonna make you a homo.

[yabaaaa]

I am not sure if this is the right post and I am sure there is no specific answer, but it is worth a try!

I am assuming in most cultures other than Thailand, the dating is about the same? Boy meets girl, ask's girl on a date, they go have fun, split the bill or the guy pays, and they do it again and again until they see if they are compatible right?

Which leads me to trying to figure out Thai girls/women. I am out and about and have no trouble meeting 2-5 girls a day, get their phone numbers, try to meet out at a restaurant, since I don't go pick them up with my car like "WE" do. This is where it goes about a thousand different directions with the Thai girls! The main problem is, whatever their agenda is, they just assume since I have lived in Thailand for awhile, I am able to "guess" their specific agenda out of a thousand different directions, but, they are all under the belief that "All" other girls have the same exact agenda! If you can understand what I am saying.

So that is where the fun begins. Some show up with another family member, girlfriend etc, that seem to nose their way into the date, and want to order everything on the menu and only eat 1/4 of it. So what should have been a $500baht date, is now $2500baht, plus the, "no more bus, need pay for taxi" from the uninvited party! Right, she just went to the bottom of my list, but it is not her fault, or is it? Or, the girl comes alone, we have an OK, time, no talk about exclusivity, future plans, dating etc, no response good or bad, and then I don't see them because I get the SMS, "I busy now, take care" Huh? What the heck is that all about! So I leave them alone, then a week later get the "Why you dont call me, why you dont take care me" and 100 other responses that are similar.

But, I am finding a bit of a pattern, in that many of them just assume since you went on a date, that you are now boyfriend/girlfriend and are willing to "Take care lady", which is not specific to anyone but "That" particular girl!

I guess what I am looking for, what is really the norm for Thailand, because I have heard, seen and had a hundred different outcomes and request, from "must meet family" to "see you next time"

What I am trying to figure out is, maybe how many dates? What does "Take care lady" mean to them, because I have no clue and they are too shy to tell me which of the 1000 different directions it should go? Are some actually expecting me to support them, marry them, meet the family after 1-3 dates??

Like I say, I am kind of looking for a solution to know what I am getting into, and what is the reasonable norm? Or should I just become a monk now and get it over with???

My Wife got a call the other day from her nephew who is in the army in Hua Hin he was asking if she could "help him". He's a nice kid and so she agreed. He wanted her to meet him in her car and take him to his new girlfriends Aunts house where he was having a meet up with her and probably to get some approval from her family etc.

He said it would look better if she came and he said he wanted to show he was sincere with this girlfriend??? Anyway she took him and brought him back and then lectured him on NOT having a baby with her without thinking

[saywhat]

I am not sure if this is the right post and I am sure there is no specific answer, but it is worth a try!

I am assuming in most cultures other than Thailand, the dating is about the same? Boy meets girl, ask's girl on a date, they go have fun, split the bill or the guy pays, and they do it again and again until they see if they are compatible right?

Which leads me to trying to figure out Thai girls/women. I am out and about and have no trouble meeting 2-5 girls a day, get their phone numbers, try to meet out at a restaurant, since I don't go pick them up with my car like "WE" do. This is where it goes about a thousand different directions with the Thai girls! The main problem is, whatever their agenda is, they just assume since I have lived in Thailand for awhile, I am able to "guess" their specific agenda out of a thousand different directions, but, they are all under the belief that "All" other girls have the same exact agenda! If you can understand what I am saying.

So that is where the fun begins. Some show up with another family member, girlfriend etc, that seem to nose their way into the date, and want to order everything on the menu and only eat 1/4 of it. So what should have been a $500baht date, is now $2500baht, plus the, "no more bus, need pay for taxi" from the uninvited party! Right, she just went to the bottom of my list, but it is not her fault, or is it? Or, the girl comes alone, we have an OK, time, no talk about exclusivity, future plans, dating etc, no response good or bad, and then I don't see them because I get the SMS, "I busy now, take care" Huh? What the heck is that all about! So I leave them alone, then a week later get the "Why you dont call me, why you dont take care me" and 100 other responses that are similar.

But, I am finding a bit of a pattern, in that many of them just assume since you went on a date, that you are now boyfriend/girlfriend and are willing to "Take care lady", which is not specific to anyone but "That" particular girl!

I guess what I am looking for, what is really the norm for Thailand, because I have heard, seen and had a hundred different outcomes and request, from "must meet family" to "see you next time"

What I am trying to figure out is, maybe how many dates? What does "Take care lady" mean to them, because I have no clue and they are too shy to tell me which of the 1000 different directions it should go? Are some actually expecting me to support them, marry them, meet the family after 1-3 dates??

Like I say, I am kind of looking for a solution to know what I am getting into, and what is the reasonable norm? Or should I just become a monk now and get it over with???

im assuming u a whitey! you meeting bad girls. why after one date they want you to take care them?

[MiG16]

I would listen to ThiThi

by the way....if this gets into a general insult against thai women...the thread will be closed, and offenders will be given warnings, possibly suspension of your posting rights.

Im gonna be less tolerant of such posts given that Ive already given public warning here.

[1960apache]

I would listen to ThiThi

by the way....if this gets into a general insult against thai women...the thread will be closed, and offenders will be given warnings, possibly suspension of your posting rights.

Im gonna be less tolerant of such posts given that Ive already given public warning here.

Thank you moderator! I am not sure why people with low self esteem and are miserable with their lives, need to troll forums to make nasty comments to make them feel better about themselves, high jack threads to take the spotlight, and then add nothing of any substance? It is very obvious who they are!

And to answer a few questions, I am 40, the ladies are normally 25-35, and enough of the "Weakness" BS, we are living in their Country and culture, so lets be a bit more respectful.

I guess I was not clear enough judging by the "Obvious" responses! What I am asking is, let's say I do find someone who seems perfect, I am trying to gauge the time frame and amounts that are reasonable to all parties involved. I don't see successful Thai men getting away with not giving money to his lady, at some point supporting her until they get married, and then giving the family money and supporting them forever! All of this I would rather not participate, because it is not in our culture. But again, I don't need the "Take control" BS, because that is not correct either, if you come off as stingy, you will be silently hated forever, and from what I have seen, can be the doom of the marriage/relationship, so let's keep it in perspective. On the other hand, if you are too generous, they will take advantage of you! Dating and marrying a Thai girl is not like walking into a car dealership and seeing the window sticker price to know exactly or roughly what you should pay within means? And to answer some of the other questions, some of the women I have known 2 weeks to 2 years and have been more like friends because of the no kissing, no touching Thai thing, and they obviously know that successful, handsome, clean, non-alchoholic, American men to not show up on their doorstep every day, so they are putting the squeeze on me at some point, whether it is 2 dates, or 2 years. They are like any girl from any Country, they know a good thing when they see it.

The other hard part is knowing which ones are sincere, or just fantasizing and just think I am Brad Pitt or whoever I may be in their imagination, and their imagination of the type of like they think they would have if they went to America! This not my first Rodeo, but Thailand is a whole new play book, so to speak! So mostly, help me out with the time frames and $$ amounts that are reasonable, I have read a bit about the Sin Sod, but it is not like their is an instruction manual that comes with the lady to know how she operates! I am sure their are no concrete answers, but someone has to at least be able to give me some guidelines. The other reason I am asking is that about 5 months after I first got here, I met a nice girl, dated her exclusively, and then was hit with needing to pay $400,000 baht to marry her and take care of her, I thought "what the heck, am I just an ATM machine?" is this just all about "Money"

Needless to say, it killed what was probably the best relationship I have had since I first came to Thailand, and I we have even given things a second try, but like I say, the "Sting" never seems to go away with Thai women or even people in general! It is a slap in the face to everything the know and believe in, so again, stop with the weakness and control BS, I am not looking for a relationship where I have to constantly be in complete domination of the lady and relationship!

[misspalin]

400,000baht once. And you want another go at it. No wonder they think we atm machine.

[Orac]

Your naivety and lack of understanding on these things seem at odds with your previous posts regarding divorcing your thai wife of two years less than a month ago???

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/findpost-p2637869.html

[1960apache]

Your naivety and lack of understanding on these things seem at odds with your previous posts regarding divorcing your thai wife of two years less than a month ago???

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/findpost-p2637869.html

Go away troll! You have nothing better to do with your life?

Anyway, if I knew all of this more in depth, I may "not" have gotten married or gotten divorced! I am now asking it flat out, and still, no one has a good answer, only miserable trolls showing up to sidetrack the thread! So again, stick to the topic!

[TAWP]

If you dont bang them on your first date they automatically think you are a homo.

It would seem that this is where you are going wrong

Wrong

we do not expect "banging" on the first date not even kissing or holding hand unless those you date with are bgs

It's not gonna make you a homo.

Well, if you are young and handsome you can in many cases get jumped, even by very good girls...even on the first date.

But you might also meet one of them with hyper-conservative parents and a scared daughter that wouldn't dare to touch you before being married.

Doesn't mean that you are gay, only means you didn't do the research before asking them out.

[1960apache]

If you dont bang them on your first date they automatically think you are a homo.

It would seem that this is where you are going wrong

Wrong

we do not expect "banging" on the first date not even kissing or holding hand unless those you date with are bgs

It's not gonna make you a homo.

Well, if you are young and handsome you can in many cases get jumped, even by very good girls...even on the first date.

But you might also meet one of them with hyper-conservative parents and a scared daughter that wouldn't dare to touch you before being married.

Doesn't mean that you are gay, only means you didn't do the research before asking them out.

Thank you, finally someone is listening and not trying to sidetrack and hi-jack my post!

I guess sometimes the answer is in the question, it just takes time, which some of them seem to worry they don't have because of their fear of losing us to another woman if they don't swoop in quick enough! Us men are no different right? If we met the best catch of our lives, we will also probably scare them away for coming on too strong and quickly, for fear of someone else grabbing them from us, so we are really no different!

I did read the info on the "Sin Sod" I wish I read that when I first got here. I found everyone was an expert on the subject, everything from "Dont get serious with any girl until you have lived here for at least a year" to "Marry the first girl you hit it off with, don't worry if she is a bar girl" (I am not saying bar girls, or any girls in general are good or bad, just stating what was told to me)

So from what I got from that, is what I had originally thought was the reality of the "Sin Sod"

It is pretty much like when you get stopped by the boys in Brown on a moped for no reason, other than, "They want some booze money" everyone would give me the same type of advice "Just don't stop, what are they going to do, shoot you" to "just stop and give them 500 baht and be done with it"

Every time I would get stopped, my experience was different, the same way it is different with figuring out each individual girl! I got from reading about the "Sin Sod" that it should be voluntary, which conflicts what other's say! So what are we to believe?

Like I say, the hardest part of all this, is that each girl truly believes that what she believes is correct, is the same for everyone else, so there is the huge dilemma, because now we as men, have to guess which of the thousand's of different directions we should take, and if we are wrong, we are the bad guy and we hurt their feelings!

I guess one of the best explanations is a book I found recently, I forget the name, but it had a picture of a Thai girl and falong man meeting for the first date! The man had images of hot sex, the thai girl was picturing gold, diamonds, weddings, an SUV and home for mom and dad, a personal ATM machine! So maybe that is just the reality as much as we don't want to deal with it. It is all about the money for them, and it is about us having a younger attractive companion! And who said money can't buy love? That is a joke OK, don't start flaming me!!! laugh!

I guess it is better just to play the field, and when the pressure gets too hot, get out of the kitchen, but I also don't want the bad Karma of disappointing endless Thai girls, but I am not ready to become a monk, or ban myself from Thai women totally because of a bad experience!

[MiG16]

with that kind of thoughts/preconception, jokes or no jokes, i wonder how anyone will find a good woman, thai or otherwise.

if you already start out with a negative generalisation about us, where can things go?

oh and continuing to do that on this forum will likely get the topic closed and poster warned and possibly suspended from posting

please keep that in mind.

[sushi5734]

Well based on the assumption that we are not talking about BG's or anyone even remotely connected to a bar beer in Pattaya, and the girl has a normal job - basically a normal Thai woman. The majority of Thai women are very reserved when it comes to dating and if you are dating a traditional nice Thai woman then I wouldn't expect to get past holding hands for quite some time the official line is no sex before your wedding night.

I would say its not unusual with a nice girl at all to have a chapperone with you for quite a while, I had a gay guy who works for my girlfreind come on our dates with us for about a month, all three of us took it in turns to pay the bill. It was a bit unusual at first but she was very shy and I'm sure her family felt more at ease and he's now become a good freind of mine.

There was a 'meet the family' meal which I was expected to pick up the tab on but it was close family and no one took the p!ss ordering by the most expensive dish and it cost something 600-700 Baht. If I turned up for a meal and there was a minibus full of second cousins and great aunts all ordering the big fish I would not be impressed!!

At the end of the day money will always be a factor becasue the girls family will generally asume that being a farang that you have bottemless pockets full of cash, we all know that this is not usually the case, but in most cases the farang is going to have more money than the Thai so it only seems fair that you splash out a bit more, just make sure you're not taken advantage of. It would be just the same back home, if I was dating a girl who had a lower income than me I would expect to pay more than her.

[kyb789]

A lot of worthless comments here in my opinion. Let me try to help. You are getting pointed in a lot of directions because at the end of the day, it depends on the girl. Same as back home. Back home you are probably used to dating from your same social class level so the rules tend to be the same. If you are going to date poor girls in Thailand or girls much younger than yourself, then anything goes. It will depend on the girl.

Unfortunately there are too many idiots (in my opinion), that just throw money at these "poor helpless" girls and feel sorry for them and eagerly hand over money. But if you talk to the "real" Thai girls that have never had any exposure to foreigners, they behave by rules very much the same as back home. They share the cost of the dates, they don't order more than they can eat, they take the bus home, etc, etc. Basically if a girls is expecting more, you are being scammed. Thais just don't date outside their social class for this very reason.

I think the behavior of foreigners and reckless spending has tainted the girls image of us and some of them are very good at taking advantage of that. Yesterday I went on a date with a beauty salon girl. She makes very little money and I expected to pay for the date. But... I didn't expect that she would show up with 2 of her friends. Immediately they picked the bar they wanted to go, and when the cover charge bill came, I asked them all to fork out the money. The were angry and wouldn't talk to me the rest of the night. Personally I don't care and never want to see them again because their behavior was disrespectful and out of line, even to Thai culture standards.

I don't believe the lie's about "man always pays, Thai culture, etc". That is old school. I date many middle class girls (and poor uni students), that don't act like this. Choose your girls wisely, and don't be afraid to push back when you see a scam.

[cat5]

If you dont bang them on your first date they automatically think you are a homo.

It would seem that this is where you are going wrong

Not to be a wise guy, we are not talking about bar girls here!

But "Those" are the ones I have the most trouble with (not on the first date obviously) And on top of it, now I have to wonder if they do this with everyone they meet?

So you tell me YOU bang nice Thai girls the first night you meet them? Skanks maybe, but not decent Thai girls! And come on, at least respond with something intelligent next time!

I wouldn't expect to bang a good Thai girl until the second date.