Then The Fight Started

[kennkate]

Linda keeps asking her Husband to fix the Lawn Mower and cut the grass

He never has time to many other things to do Like Golf & Surfing the Web

He comes home one day after a good morning on the Golf Course and lunch in the Club house.

He puts away his Clubs. And notices his wife is in the Garden. Cutting the grass with Dressmaking Scissors.

Quickly he goes to the Bathroom and comes down with A Toothbrush.

Hey Linda When you have finished cutting the Grass. Maybe you could sweep the Drive.

Then The Fight Started

[Eman]

Linda keeps asking her Husband to fix the Lawn Mower and cut the grass

He never has time to many other things to do Like Golf & Surfing the Web

He comes home one day after a good morning on the Golf Course and lunch in the Club house.

He puts away his Clubs. And notices his wife is in the Garden. Cutting the grass with Dressmaking Scissors.

Quickly he goes to the Bathroom and comes down with A Toothbrush.

Hey Linda When you have finished cutting the Grass. Maybe you could sweep the Drive.

Then The Fight Started

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday... She just smiled and said "something that goes from 0 to 150 in 5 seconds"

So I gave her a bathroom scale.

Then the fight started

[peter991]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.

And then the fight started...

*****

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.

I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

*****

A woman is standing nud_e, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,

fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's dam_n near perfect.'

And then the fight started...

[peter991]

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

*****

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started.....

*****

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

[ozsamurai]

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

[khaowong1]

my wife is trying on a new pair of levi's. she turned to me and asked, "honey, do these jeans make my butt look bigger", I looked up at her and said, "it's not the jeans that make your butt look bigger"..

then the fight started...